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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TexasChic on May 27, 2008, at 20:55:52
That is all.
-T
Posted by ClearSkies on May 27, 2008, at 22:08:44
In reply to I'm depressed., posted by TexasChic on May 27, 2008, at 20:55:52
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm just climbing out of my hole lately, though very slowly and with difficulty. Depression is so hard to get through, live with, whatever you want to call it. Hang in there, TC. Be extra good to yourself, especially when it doesn't feel like it.
CS
Posted by Phillipa on May 28, 2008, at 0:20:49
In reply to I'm depressed., posted by TexasChic on May 27, 2008, at 20:55:52
T there must be more care to share? Love Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on May 28, 2008, at 18:34:18
In reply to Re: I'm depressed. » TexasChic, posted by Phillipa on May 28, 2008, at 0:20:49
Thanks yall. I was worried about work, and then today confirmed my suspicions. My boss is just impossible. I know her well enough by now that I knew she was up to something. And then today we had a meeting where she basically told me I'm failing to do my job. I don't want to get all into it, but believe me, its all a bunch of crap. I know I've been doing not only adequate, but above average work, and she will never convince me otherwise. Not that I haven't tried repeatedly to do what she requires, I have literally worked myself to exhaustion everyday for the past few weeks. Its just impossible to please her.
One good thing though, I found out about an internal job opening that involves working on the web, which is exactly what I've been wanting to do! I've been wanting to go from graphic design to web design (or something that will get me started in it) for a long time now. So wish me luck!!!
When I spoke to my boss today about applying for the job, she said if they called and asked for a reference she would have to tell them how I'm not doing well. Luckily they don't ask the current boss for a reference, you just have to be eligible to apply and then interview. But it upset me, and I cried and people noticed and it was embarrassing. At least I waited until she went to a meeting though.
Everyone at work knows how awful she is. When I went to a work party last year, everyone kept introducing me as, "This is T, she works for C... poor thing." I swear that kept getting said over and over, by different people! Today people kept telling me not to let her know she was getting to me. Honestly I don't think anything I do one way or the other will make any difference.
So anyway, tonight I will go online and apply for the job. Send good vibes!!!!
-T
Posted by TexasChic on May 28, 2008, at 18:40:21
In reply to Re: I'm depressed., posted by TexasChic on May 28, 2008, at 18:34:18
Sorry if my writing is kind of choppy. I just don't have the energy to put together a sensible, well written post.
-T
Posted by ClearSkies on May 28, 2008, at 19:20:38
In reply to Re: I'm depressed., posted by TexasChic on May 28, 2008, at 18:34:18
Posted by Kath on May 28, 2008, at 19:43:26
In reply to P.S., posted by TexasChic on May 28, 2008, at 18:40:21
> Sorry if my writing is kind of choppy. I just don't have the energy to put together a sensible, well written post.
>
> -THey TC - I didn't find ANYthing wrong with your writing!! I'm glad she didn't see you being upset. I'd agree to what people say about not letting her get to you - although it sounds like that would be VERY hard when you're working you a** off & then she says something like that.
I am SO glad that they don't call the current boss. That is such a blessing.
I also would hold on to the events at the party. I bet people really respect you, to have 'hung in there' with that boss for as long as you have.
I really am sending you positive thoughts & hopes that you get the other job TC.
I send my love! luv & hugs, Kath
PS - no wonder you feel down hun. xoxoxo
And remember what is sometimes said about Depression being Anger-turned-inwards. Do you think you could do some things to get some of the helplessness you must feel & the anger - to get it out?? Like writing an email & writing "stupid-face b*tch" in the address line - or something & saying exACTly what you'd LOVE to say to her face? Or going to a forest & hitting the ground with a big stick? Or anything like that? In the past, during the years my son was a VERY-acting-out teen, I saved hard plastic kitty-litter bottles. When the 'need' arose, I used a big rubber camping mallet (sp?) to hit them, down the basement & with each 'hit' I'd say a word or a few words - whatEVER I felt like!!!!! Man alive - it sure helped me get some of those helpless, angry feelings OUT!! LOL
I send you big hugs. And once again, hope you get that job. If you don't, hopefully there'll be others. luv, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on May 28, 2008, at 22:06:36
In reply to Re: P.S. » TexasChic, posted by Kath on May 28, 2008, at 19:43:26
I really do appreciate the support. I applied to that job online and I'm so excited about it! I know I have to stay positive regardless of what happens though. There are still the openings I heard would be coming up this summer too, so I won't put all my hopes on this one chance. I was really down before, but I feel much better now. I'll just do my best like I always do, and whatever is meant to happen will happen. And hopefully what's meant to happen is that I'm to become independently wealthy!
-T
Posted by Kath on May 29, 2008, at 20:25:47
In reply to Thanks yall!, posted by TexasChic on May 28, 2008, at 22:06:36
good to hear you sounding so positive. Good luck.
luv, Kath
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 29, 2008, at 20:37:31
In reply to Re: I'm depressed., posted by TexasChic on May 28, 2008, at 18:34:18
Hey TC.....
I am so sawwwwyyy you had such a rotten day and have such a bitch for a boss! Urrgggg...I know what that is like!
Hey...you know what....sorry for changing topics here...please forgive me...I've never been to Texas. Still looking for somewhere to go for my summer vacation. Maybe...hmmmm...I don't know. I'll need a tiny bit of "encouragement"??! along the way..lol. Hahah. Anyhow...I am glad you feel better. Just be yourself...as the song goes.
Best,
Jay
Posted by TexasChic on May 29, 2008, at 21:21:22
In reply to Re: Thanks yall! » TexasChic, posted by Kath on May 29, 2008, at 20:25:47
First of all, my boss had been being unusually nice. At first I thought it was great and everything was going to finally work out. But I kept seeing things, like her keeping track of how many errors I made and things like that. I began to realize she must be up to something. Then yesterday, I sent her an email about the internal job I wanted to apply for (she was out of the office, but had access to email). In the past, my applying for jobs has caused her to have hostile reactions, but I have to tell her because she would be notified about it, and be mad if I hadn't asked her about it ahead of time. I tried to do everything right, as she had specified in the past, but she has always been very contradictory about it.
The result this time was being called into the conference room (always a bad thing). She said she had written out my goals that we had talked about during my review (months ago). The list consisted of very subjective things like, I should be able to do this or that in a timely manner. That leaves her room to make it mean however long she wants. There were also a lot of other very strict deadlines that the other people in my position are not subject to. But the thing that bothered me the most was she made this specific rule that I have a certain task completed by the Friday of every print cycle. This is something that everyone else has until monday to do, but I've always gotten done early by friday - up until a couple of weeks ago when I took friday off. I didn't get it done until Monday. My feeling is, on my next review she is going to try to say I missed this deadline (even though it wasn't specified until after the fact). I feel like she set it up so that she will be able to score me as less than acceptable, which will put me on suspension, which means I can't apply for other jobs, which means I have no way to get away from her. I can't really figure out her reasoning, other than she is a control freak.
So that's why I got so upset and cried yesterday. Today I talked about it to my coworker/friend who also works for her. She seemed to think I was overreacting (although she also told me to document everything that has happened). Then my boss came in and acted completely normal. I started wondering myself if I was being paranoid. But there's no changing the crazy way she has acted and things she has said. I am going to continue to do my best and try to stay positive, but I'm not going to let myself get complacent again.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on May 29, 2008, at 21:28:29
In reply to Re: I'm depressed. » TexasChic, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 29, 2008, at 20:37:31
Haha, thanks Jay. But I'm not sure I can in good conscious recommend Texas in the Summer to a northern person like yourself. It would just be cruel!
-T
Posted by Kath on May 29, 2008, at 21:44:58
In reply to What I didn't have the energy to explain yesterday, posted by TexasChic on May 29, 2008, at 21:21:22
TC - she sounds SICK.
Can't you go to Human Resources or Personnel or whatever ya call it. WHYYYYY should everyone else have until MONDAY & you must do it by Friday. Is she the boss for the others who have to have it done by Monday??????
I guess it's too late now, but in future could you insist on specifics in the recommendations (so she can't trap you) & say that it's so YOU know EXACTLY what is required...or slant it so it looks like you want to know what's what exactly so that you can do your job well.
She sounds like a slippery eel & I think you have to be on your guard & as you say, not get complacent.
Is there anyone who you can go to?????
luv & support, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on May 29, 2008, at 21:58:40
In reply to Re: What I didn't have the energy to explain yesterday » TexasChic, posted by Kath on May 29, 2008, at 21:44:58
> I guess it's too late now, but in future could you insist on specifics in the recommendations (so she can't trap you) & say that it's so YOU know EXACTLY what is required...or slant it so it looks like you want to know what's what exactly so that you can do your job well.
When I first started I asked her again and again when things were due, and she wouldn't tell me. She said everything had to be done as soon as I get it, as fast as I can. So I really had no control, she could say I was taking too long anytime she wanted. This is the same thing, just a different tactic.
> She sounds like a slippery eel & I think you have to be on your guard & as you say, not get complacent. Is there anyone who you can go to?????I've gone to HR, they were no help. There's really nothing I can prove.
And the others in my position have different supervisors, she's not over them. EVERYONE knows how difficult she is though. I guess if I could get others to testify on my behalf I might be able to get somewhere. But it would be much easier just to get the heck out and into another position. I hope that's how things go. I've been fighting too hard for too long to start a whole big old new fight.
-T
Posted by Kath on May 29, 2008, at 22:03:26
In reply to Re: What I didn't have the energy to explain yeste, posted by TexasChic on May 29, 2008, at 21:58:40
Jeez TC - what a total bummer!
Does she have other people - I mean is she the boss of other people also? Or are you the only lucky one!!
God - so she can't interfere with your application for this job though, can she?
When is the next review? In other words, how long do you still have to apply for other jobs, without the possibility of her putting you on whatever you called it (sorry I'm tired).
YOU GO GIRL - you are doing so well in being strong about this.
luv, Kath
Posted by Kath on May 29, 2008, at 22:08:17
In reply to Re: What I didn't have the energy to explain yeste » TexasChic, posted by Kath on May 29, 2008, at 22:03:26
Goin to bed now TC - hubby & I leave Saturday & I was going to go to bed early tonight so I won't be tired tomorrow like I was today.
I guess I don't have TOO much to do to get ready, but am feeling sorta stressed about it.
luv, Kath
Posted by Kath on May 29, 2008, at 22:09:25
In reply to Re: What I didn't have the energy to explain yeste » Kath, posted by Kath on May 29, 2008, at 22:08:17
shows how tired I am! K
Posted by TexasChic on June 1, 2008, at 20:49:49
In reply to oops that was for TC !! lol, posted by Kath on May 29, 2008, at 22:09:25
I checked the website and saw that the job I applied for has been taken down, which usually means it has been filled. And then I read about Slinky. Why does everything in life have to be so hard and painful and just suck!?
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 1, 2008, at 21:57:17
In reply to Now I'm really depressed, posted by TexasChic on June 1, 2008, at 20:49:49
I feel a little better now, I called my 10 year old nephew and told him I loved him, and he said I love you too. Then I sent my resume to a company who needs a graphic artist, and for the first time, something outside of the company I work for sounds good! I wanted so badly to work for a big company, but maybe to get what I want - the chance to learn and move up in the company - I need to go to a smaller company. So I feel a little more positive now. I think maybe now I'll be able to sleep tonight.
-T
Posted by ClearSkies on June 2, 2008, at 8:14:08
In reply to Re: Now I'm really depressed, posted by TexasChic on June 1, 2008, at 21:57:17
> I feel a little better now, I called my 10 year old nephew and told him I loved him, and he said I love you too. Then I sent my resume to a company who needs a graphic artist, and for the first time, something outside of the company I work for sounds good! I wanted so badly to work for a big company, but maybe to get what I want - the chance to learn and move up in the company - I need to go to a smaller company. So I feel a little more positive now. I think maybe now I'll be able to sleep tonight.
>
> -TTC, I'm in the process of watching my step daughter try to pull herself up by the bootstraps. She's fresh out of rehab (OK, not so fresh), has no money, and no job. I have never seen anyone as determined as she is. Every day, she's looking in the newspaper, calling places on the phone, driving around and applying to places. She's just papering the area with her application, the idea being that someone is going to be needing her and calling her back.
Her energy and drive are beyond my comprehension. But she's on to something - "someone is going to want me" is her motto - and it is so true! Good for you for looking beyond your company's job listings. With your qualifications and experience, you know that someone is going to want you!
You go, girl!
CS
Posted by TexasChic on June 2, 2008, at 19:00:25
In reply to Re: Now I'm really depressed » TexasChic, posted by ClearSkies on June 2, 2008, at 8:14:08
Thanks ClearSkies! I found out I'm still in the running for that job at work. They sent my resume over, and now that department will choose from the applicants who they want to interview. So wish me luck!
Man, I felt soooo bad today - headache all day long and I couldn't think straight. I tossed and turned last night because I kept obsessing about work. And I realized every time I started thinking about it, I would clench my jaw and tense up my whole face. Every time I found myself doing it I would make myself think of something else, something peaceful. But it kept sneaking back. I hate when I get that way! I hope I don't get that way tonight, its not a good time to not be able to think straight at work!
-T
This is the end of the thread.
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