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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on August 15, 2007, at 11:26:28
Okay, this morning I am up early, and go to our local Chapters (bookstore) while waiting for my prescription to be filled. I see this one woman walking down the aisle in the opposite direction, and she gives me a friendly smile. Very nice, I thought. But...anyhow, I go to the section I want to and look at books, and then, around the corner she comes. Her and I spend about 5 minutes in silence back to back looking at books. I am "begging" in my mind.."please talk to me..pleasssseee.."....Then....she looked at me and made a joke to me about wishing the place was a 'library', and I laughed....and froze my mouth shut. I could have VERY easily started more conversation with this woman, and she just seemed so...ummm..sweet and nice! But I froze up. After a few more minutes, I guess maybe she thought I wasn't interested..if that was the case. Even just to talk, though, to make a friend, would have been SO nice! I do know that, even though I could lose a few pounds (and I am working on it), I can be physically attractive as well. Instead, I spent years thinking I was the most sick, disgusting looking guy in the world. Oh well...I do feel good though, I gotta say. :-) Comments/Suggestions my lady friends?
Jay
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 12:51:57
In reply to Gabbi, Phillipa, Slinky....oh what a story to tell, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on August 15, 2007, at 11:26:28
I love talking to strangers. A little short conversation will help build up confidence. Love Phllipa
Posted by slinky on August 15, 2007, at 14:26:30
In reply to Gabbi, Phillipa, Slinky....oh what a story to tell, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on August 15, 2007, at 11:26:28
Jay..
Some women like myself like chunky huggable men so don't be concerned about your weight.
I keep chatting to men in the supermarket...after a few minutes I freeze because suddenly I get over self conscious. Maintaining the confidence is tricky , suppose you have to keep practicing.
Were in the same boat...
Keep at it, things will fall into a sweet place and good loving will bloom like my flowery plant.
Posted by Kath on August 15, 2007, at 20:36:51
In reply to Gabbi, Phillipa, Slinky....oh what a story to tell, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on August 15, 2007, at 11:26:28
Jay - how exciting that this happened. OK so you froze this time. Maybe next time you won't.
And HEYYYYYYYY She started talking to YOU. Do you think your few extra pounds bothered her?
I don't theeeenk so!!!!!!Please - do NOT worry about that. My daughter married a man who was massively overweight. I think he might have weighed 280 & wasn't super tall. Unfortunately, he's no longer living. He died of cancer (nothing to do with the weight). He was wonderful. You know, people's vibes go out from them. That lady was obviously resonating with YOU - your vibes.
Deeeeeeeep breaths if it happens again. If it happens once, it'll happen again. I take it you like to read? Well, see what happened? You were somewhere that reflected your interest & you (sorta) 'met' someone who also shares that interest & HEY - she liked something about you or she wouldn't have said anything. She noticed you. And I doubt very much if it had ANYthing to do with looks.
OK - I suspect that any of us would prefer someone who's attractive (maybe I'm wrong), but I bet a lot of us put more importance on what a person is like. To her, you were at least this person who liked books & could stand around looking at books for quite a while!!
Yay for you!!!!!!
Hugs, Kath
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on August 16, 2007, at 17:56:32
In reply to Re: Gabbi, Phillipa, Slinky....oh what a story to tell » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 12:51:57
I feel kind of selfish, actually Phillipa. Today, I've kinda hit 'bottom'. I know so many, many people, esp. on here, have much dire and worse concerns to deal with. If there was a disease called "loneliness", I'd sure be dx' d with it. Here are some words that fit my thoughts and situation perfectly..
"Love To Be Loved"
So, you know how people are
When it's all gone much too far
The way their minds are made
Still, there's something you should know
That I could not let show
That fear of letting goAnd in this moment, I need to be needed
With this darkness all around me, I like to be liked
In this emptiness and fear, I want to be wanted
'Cause I love to be loved
I love to be loved
Yes, I love to be lovedI cry the way that babies cry
The way they can't deny
The way they feel
Words, they climb all over you
'Til they uncover you
From where you hideAnd in this moment, I need to be needed
When my self-esteem is sinking, I like to be liked
In this emptiness and fear,
I want to be wanted
'Cause I love to be loved
I love to be loved
Oh I love to be lovedThis old familiar craving
I've been here before, this way of behaving
Don't know who the hell I'm saving anymore
Let it pass let it go let it leave
From the deepest place I grieve
This time I believeAnd I let go
I can let go of it
Though it takes all the strength in me
And all the world can see
I'm losing such a central part of me
I can let go of it
You know I mean it
You know that I mean it
I recognize how much I've lost
But I cannot face the cost
'Cause I love to be loved
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on August 16, 2007, at 18:13:54
In reply to Re: Gabbi, Phillipa, Slinky....oh what a story to tell » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by slinky on August 15, 2007, at 14:26:30
> Jay..
> Some women like myself like chunky huggable men so don't be concerned about your weight.
> I keep chatting to men in the supermarket...after a few minutes I freeze because suddenly I get over self conscious. Maintaining the confidence is tricky , suppose you have to keep practicing.
> Were in the same boat...
> Keep at it, things will fall into a sweet place and good loving will bloom like my flowery plant.Now, I am like.."Damn..that MAY have been a chance at something!" One thing I am lucky for, though, is that even being bit overweight, I am about 6 feet, and have a big bone build to hide much of it. But the confidence thingy...I just don't have that fortitude, to project this "I am #1" kind of attitude. Bad bad day. Even my sex drive I think is silently laughing at me, thinking this is all a funny joke. Yay. Well...it's back to readjusting meds...to trick my brain again.
Thanks...you are very sweet. :)Jay
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on August 16, 2007, at 18:22:25
In reply to Re: Gabbi, Phillipa, Slinky....oh what a story to tell » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Kath on August 15, 2007, at 20:36:51
Kath....
Thanks very much. Again, you are always so sweet and nice. I am thinking of, actually, going to an informal support group. At the very least, it forces me to face numerous people a few times during the week. You know, at work and such, that is all kind of an act, really. I start university in a couple of weeks again, so that might help too. I just got to remember not to walk around with eyes glued to the floor..heh. Thank you..thank you..thank you. Oh, and I will get back to your Babblemail asap.
Jay :)
Posted by Kath on August 16, 2007, at 18:45:36
In reply to Re: Gabbi, Phillipa, Slinky....oh what a story to tell » Kath, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on August 16, 2007, at 18:22:25
> Kath....
>
> Thanks very much. Again, you are always so sweet and nice. I am thinking of, actually, going to an informal support group.At the very least, it forces me to face numerous people a few times during the week.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>That sounds like a great idea!>>>>>You know, at work and such, that is all kind of an act, really. I start university in a couple of weeks again, so that might help too. I just got to remember not to walk around with eyes glued to the floor..heh. Thank you..thank you..thank you. Oh, and I will get back to your Babblemail asap.
>
> Jay :)>>>>>>>>>>>You know Jay, you mentioned in another post above about not being #1. You don't need to be #1. Sure you can work on feeling more confident within yourself - but it doesn't need to be #1.
You sound like you're trying really hard to be positive & I admire that.
hugs, Kath
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