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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by karen_kay on February 5, 2007, at 19:32:08
the next person who tells me to 'calm down' or 'chill out' or whatever will not only feel the wrath of 'mean' kk, but will be suffering from it for many years to come. sreiously!
including my therapist, doctor, crisis line (no help, thanks guys, i can count to 10 on my own!), and any other wankers who cross my path.
bye bye fun karen, hello mean kk! grrrrr!
so, how's everyone else doing? this has been my pattern. physical violence, followed by shameless guilt. oh, and incessant talking.
the answer, according to pdoc? up my topamax (don't redirect me mister bob, i'm warning you now!) which is now at 150 mgs, slowly upping to 400 mgsd, as planned..... well, she just said 'go on up to 400. lethargic? well, that's better than mania, right?' grrr... i'm gonna go beat her sensless too. (be sensitive? tell her that!!!)
grrr again.....
Posted by madeline on February 5, 2007, at 19:59:42
In reply to so i'm manic but...., posted by karen_kay on February 5, 2007, at 19:32:08
mania coupled with agression sucks
My mom always looked like she could jump out of her skin. It had to have hurt.
you'll calm down soon, you just have to ride this wave I guess.
we'll be here no matter.
Signed
Maddie, poor depressed tired maddie
Posted by Phillipa on February 5, 2007, at 22:48:11
In reply to Re: so i'm manic but...., posted by madeline on February 5, 2007, at 19:59:42
Does anyone feel good right now I know I don't either. love Phillipa
Posted by Bobby on February 5, 2007, at 23:59:23
In reply to so i'm manic but...., posted by karen_kay on February 5, 2007, at 19:32:08
been there a thousand times. The doctors' answers are always to drug me until I run into the walls and lay in bed like a battleship anchor is tied to me. Sorry--i guess you know that it all passes eventually. Be good for your baby's sake--works for me.
Posted by karen_kay on February 6, 2007, at 5:29:08
In reply to Re: so i'm manic but.... » karen_kay, posted by Bobby on February 5, 2007, at 23:59:23
how'd i forget...
i saw my 'therapist'. the mandatory one, i had to see so i could see a pdoc the first time, when i was depressed. first thing she said? 'so, how do you feel about inpatient?'
WHAT????? how would she feel about that. i couldn't spit the words out fast enough.
its jsut so strange how it's changed this time. before, i was mean, but only whne i drank. i haven't drank (ok, a few drinks during the game but come on, i deserve that one!!! go colts!!!!). last time, i'd go out for a pack of smokes at 2 am at end up 2-3 hours away. this time, i'm very near to hitting my husband (not even close to spanking children's butts, promise! if that was the case, i'd be glad to go to the royal hospitialitities of the hospital.
so, i'm mean, then confused, then drooling (thanks topamax!), then crying, then cleaning (hey, my bedroom is so very organized! i can't get over that). that's how i'm keeping everyone except mr kk safe, cleaning. i was ---- that close to getting a tattoo, but i wasn't going to pay their minimum and the guy looked liek he couldn't tatoo mom on my mom.
parts are kinda fun. calling my sister to tell her happy birthday, then less than 24 hours later caling to tell her to f- off and never call me again wasn't. talking WAY too loud isn't. my new look is. getting new clothes is. spending too much $$$ isn't. talking ALL THE TIME isn't. not being able to slow down isn't. all this on top of getting ahold of some valium. thank god for small favor.
and thank r j reynolds for camel wides! ouch, my lungs are really going to hate me when i come out of this mess.
and don't tell me to calm down, i would if i could!!! why do therapists, dr's ect, say stupid stuff like that anyway? don't they get training on sensitive things to say???
oh, i mentioned something aobut dreams of going to florida and my therapist acted concerned. she jsut doesn't have a sense of humor. hello, i live in indiana! of course i'd rather be in florida. it's 10 degrees here! hello dumbbutt!
Posted by karen_kay on February 6, 2007, at 6:53:34
In reply to Re: so i'm manic but.... » karen_kay, posted by Bobby on February 5, 2007, at 23:59:23
i hope i'm not going to turn into that.
seems that's their best suggestion though, isn't it?
i'm being very good though. for him. for me, just wait, and see. isn't that a song or something. jsut have this need, for energy to get out. not doing nearly the thing si used to and for that i'm very proud.
thanks for the rreply. how's that gorgeous wife of yours? and what about yoru gorgeous self? take it you're not bouncing off the walls, eh?
i'm thinking of restoring the beautiful qwood some idiot painted over in this house. jsut hope i don't start something like this and then end up like a bump, half finished, never to be finished, you know?
Posted by karen_kay on February 6, 2007, at 6:56:54
In reply to Re: so i'm manic but...., posted by madeline on February 5, 2007, at 19:59:42
it is contagious, you know. my mom's catching it. my sister was cleaning the kitchen head to toe. mr kk is startting to catch it too. maybe jsut the 'attitude' is catching? but, maybe it was jsut the mooon?
i hope you are feeling better soon deary.
i love you dearly.
and mean it sincerely.i can't spell it.
i hope you can smell it.my perfume i mean.
i'll not make a scene.((((maddie)))))))))
hang in there. i'll be on my way. i'll swim the kentucky river (is there one?) oh, i bet it's freaking cold too! that'll calm me down or speed me up. either way, somethign different will happen!
Posted by karen_kay on February 6, 2007, at 6:59:33
In reply to Re: so i'm manic but...., posted by Phillipa on February 5, 2007, at 22:48:11
but in about 10 seconds, i'll probably be ready to throw the phone again.
i'm thinking maybe the moon has something to do wiht it?
phillipa, do you have any hobbies at all? have you tried online games? not gambling, but something like online games, like club pogo or something? my mom gets down to that stuff. maybe that'll help you during your 'off' time>?
just asuggestion.
here's feeling for you sweetie. hope you're doing alright.
kk
Posted by Jo U.K on February 6, 2007, at 7:22:39
In reply to so i'm manic but...., posted by karen_kay on February 5, 2007, at 19:32:08
Pheeewwww, I'm not sure I'd wanna be in your path KK! But you're entitled to be cheesed off when people say 'calm down'. How patronising! How dare they! Be crazy, talk all you want. You rightly should be proud of yourself for not giving in to some wild stuff! I hope you're soon on an even keel. Take care.
Jo
Posted by happykat on February 6, 2007, at 11:35:56
In reply to so i'm manic but...., posted by karen_kay on February 5, 2007, at 19:32:08
Hey kk,
Sorry to hear you're going through a rough spell. Cleaning is the best when I'm feeling rather manic. I expel my extra energy and have a clean house to boot. Although retail therapy isn't bad until you get the bill.
I hope today is a better day for you. :) Sending calm and soothing vibes to you (((((((kk))))))))
Be well and stay safe.
Regards,
Kat
Posted by madeline on February 6, 2007, at 16:24:01
In reply to so i'm manic but...., posted by karen_kay on February 5, 2007, at 19:32:08
How are you feeling today my lovely fiancee?
I'm so glad to hear the engagement is back on. Make ups are so womderful!
I think we should break up again soon!
Take care.
Maddie
Posted by Jay on February 8, 2007, at 18:33:02
In reply to oh, this one's better.., posted by karen_kay on February 6, 2007, at 5:29:08
Hi K-k...
Just a note about Topamax...I didn't find it to exactly be the best mood stabilizer (I was up to 400mg) , and had to take another one with it to get best benefit. One of the "new" (well..old drug, in new formulation) ones is the Depakote Extended Release (ER). You just take one tab a day, and it's apparently not supposed to have such severe problems as with "regular" Depakote, like weight gain, major fatigue, or others.(check out the excellent http://www.psycheducation.org/ )
Hold on....it gets (and feels) better when it all slows down. (And no...I am not telling you to 'slow down'...umm k..? ;-)
Best,
Jay
Posted by ClearSkies on February 8, 2007, at 19:21:30
In reply to so i'm manic but...., posted by karen_kay on February 5, 2007, at 19:32:08
How are you doing, KK? I had an awful time with hypomania these past 2 months. It felt like my excess energy was coming out in the worst possible ways.
I hope you're feeling better,
CS
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