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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 25 to 49 of 53. Go back in thread:
Posted by Phil on May 22, 2006, at 17:06:12
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger*, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
Deneb, you're a sweetheart. I don't have to go to Trawna to know that. Peace.
Posted by gardenergirl on May 22, 2006, at 17:08:44
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger*, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
Deneb,
I find events like that to be absolutely exhausting, too--especially on reduced sleep. And attending a conference is a bit like trying to drink from a firehose. There's so much coming at you, and you can only take in a little bit, despite wanting to take everything in.I am so proud of you for taking this risk to go, meet people in person, and to share your thoughts and feelings with them. You survived! Actually, it sounds like you thrived.
And now it's okay to take a well-deserved rest when you get back home.
Take care,
gg
Posted by Bobby on May 22, 2006, at 17:25:24
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger*, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
with asking what "splitting" is? I don't know what it is. Just remember----there are no stupid questions---only stupid answers.
Posted by llrrrpp on May 22, 2006, at 17:31:05
In reply to What's wrong, posted by Bobby on May 22, 2006, at 17:25:24
yes, I'm also curious about 'splitting'
I think it's good to ask questions of clarification, even if it interrupts the presentation for a moment. Otherwise one might miss an entire section, or end up really confused. A stitch in time saves nine.When Toronto folks get their sleep deficit mended, I'd love a definition. in the meanwhile, enjoy your naps and safe journeys back home!
llrrrpp
Posted by TexasChic on May 22, 2006, at 19:05:27
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger*, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
I get overwhelmed sometimes even at fun things. But it sounds like you handled it well. At least no one else seemed to notice, which means you had some awesome self control going on. I'd probably have started crying if I felt the way you described. Don't be so hard on yourself, give yourself a little credit. Its okay, really. You are a GOOD PERSON Deneb!!
Besides, have you even tripped and fell flat on your face in the middle of the mall? Or spilled your drink all over the guy you like? Or while out with friends, drunkenly tell your current crush that you love him? I've done all that and more. Talk about embarrassing.
-T
Posted by Phillipa on May 22, 2006, at 19:27:28
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger*, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
Deneb you did great!!!!I could have never done it. And when you are rested and feel better Could you explain to everyone what splitting is? Love Phillipa
Posted by madeline on May 22, 2006, at 19:57:40
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger*, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
Deneb,
I speak at a lot of these meetings, only in a different venue. I've spoken in San Fran, Orlando, Boston, Memphis, San Diego (twice), Durham, Philadelphia, Atlanta - god I could go on and on.
But I've spoken to strangers in a strange room more times than I can count and how you feel to completely normal. It is absolutely normal, nothing to be ashamed of or worried over. After a talk and a busy week at a meeting, I usually sit in my motel room and cry, out of despair, lonliness, and exhaustion. In fact, in memphis I actually post on babble how sad I was.
ANd you know what? Every single person I have ever spoken to about this does pretty much the same thing. They may not cry, but they become very very drained, sad and homesick. It's really okay.
From what I read here your essay took the day. We are all proud of you and when you get your energy back, you will be proud too.
Rest easy and dream only the best dreams. You've earned it.
Posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 20:57:42
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger* your essay » Deneb, posted by madeline on May 22, 2006, at 19:57:40
Madeline, I did cry, at the workshop. Lar hugged me while I cried.
I ruined Dr. Bob's workshop. I asked a stupid question that everyone knew and I totally ruined Dr. Bob's presentation. It was horrible. I was only supposed to introduce myself, but then for some strange reason, I just read and read from my stupid paper. It was like I wasn't there anymore. I didn't know what to say so I just read, but I wrote too much and it was too long. It was a total disaster. What I wrote was soooo embarrassing too. I wrote that last night like it was a post or something. Have I no shame?
Dr. Bob, I'm extremely sorry about ruining your presentation. I ruined your presentation didn't I? No, you wouldn't say I did because that might not be civil. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ruined your presentation. I don't know what came over me. I told you I was going to ruin your presentation. I was right. My worst fears have come true. I don't deserve to you know what. :-(
I don't know what came over me, I do the stupidest things. Why did I write such personal stuff? What was I thinking? Really...what in the hell was I thinking, to write the truth, the whole truth? I'm really sorry if I embarrassed you Dr. Bob. I don't know what came over me. I don't know why I did what I did. I'm in my own little world, I don't listen to what goes on around me. I'm sorry.
This would be a good time for me to switch lives, if that is how things work. Unfortunately, there is no way to know for sure what happens.
Dr. Bob, please tell me the truth. Did I ruin your presentation?
Aaahhh! I can't stand it! I'm mortified. I don't know what to do. I feel like saying all sorts of uncivil, triggering things. Aaaaahhh!
What do I do??? I feel horrible.
Deneb*
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 22, 2006, at 21:41:14
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger* your essay, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 20:57:42
> I didn't know what to say so I just read, but I wrote too much and it was too long.
I could read over your shoulder, and you did a masterful job of editing what you wrote, on the fly. You did not just read. I know better.
> It was a total disaster.
We applauded. Nobody else got any applause.
You have done a lot of work since you joined Babble. You did the work.
Lar
Posted by Poet on May 23, 2006, at 8:45:24
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger*, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
Hi Deneb,
Reading your essay was a smart thing to do. You were clear about your feelings about babble and it's perfectly okay about what you said about your feelings for Dr. Bob, too. If anything the pdocs listening left thinking- that online group support is a good idea.
And you did it without anti-anxiety meds. Be proud of yourself- you were scared, but you came through for us.
Poet
Posted by fallsfall on May 23, 2006, at 15:47:01
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger* your essay, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 20:57:42
You could say to yourself "If I need to do something like this in the future, maybe I will be a little more reserved". Because you seem to be uncomfortable with how open you were. You can decide to do things differently in the future. You can learn from this.
BUT. Just because you feel uncomfortable, doesn't mean that you ruined Dr. Bob's presentation. And, frankly, you didn't. Remember the guy who was sitting behind you? As you were reading, he started smiling. He was a bit cranky before that, remember? But when you were finished he wasn't cranky anymore. Because then he understood.
So. You can decide to do things differently in the future because YOU don't feel comfortable with how things went. That is a fine thing. It is good to learn from our experiences.
But. Stop beating yourself up about Monday. I, for one, and everyone I've talked to, thought that you made a wonderful contribution to the presentation.
And. It is over now. It is time to put it behind you and go forward.
I hope you had a nice bus ride home.
Catch you later,
Falls
Posted by Deneb on May 23, 2006, at 17:07:55
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger* your essay » Deneb, posted by fallsfall on May 23, 2006, at 15:47:01
I'm back home now! Home sweet home. Home.
Thanks Fallsfall
I was uncomfortable. I did a lot of embarrassing things on the trip. I'm going to try to block them from my memory now. I don't know what came over me, it was like I was uninhibited at times and super inhibited other times. Maybe the merging of the online world with the real world has gotten me confused. It was really great to meet everyone in person, but I'm going to have to admit that I feel much more comfortable in the online world.
I'm just going to not think about all those embarrassing things. I'm just going to forget about them. I can't handle them. Strangely I'm not embarrassed with how I acted around Dr. Bob. I think a normal person would be embarrassed, but I'm not. Go figure.
Deneb*
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 23, 2006, at 17:33:17
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger* your essay Â, posted by Deneb on May 23, 2006, at 17:07:55
> I'm back home now! Home sweet home. Home.
I'm glad.
> Thanks Fallsfall
>
> I was uncomfortable. I did a lot of embarrassing things on the trip.May I interrupt, for a sec? I saw no embarassing things, whereas you felt a lot of embarassment. They are not identical perceptions.
> I'm going to try to block them from my memory now. I don't know what came over me, it was like I was uninhibited at times and super inhibited other times. Maybe the merging of the online world with the real world has gotten me confused. It was really great to meet everyone in person, but I'm going to have to admit that I feel much more comfortable in the online world.
>
> I'm just going to not think about all those embarrassing things. I'm just going to forget about them. I can't handle them. Strangely I'm not embarrassed with how I acted around Dr. Bob. I think a normal person would be embarrassed, but I'm not. Go figure.
>
> Deneb*I'm glad you're back in your comfort zone.
Lar
Posted by TexasChic on May 23, 2006, at 17:52:37
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger* your essay Â, posted by Deneb on May 23, 2006, at 17:07:55
You know, our babble relationships ARE different from 'real world' ones. You and the others had the unique experience of going from one to the other. I can see how you would feel more open and unihibited around the babble people - we share such personal stuff. And I can see how that could have gotten confusing. I've often wondered how I would react to meeting everyone in person.
Once you feel better you should go back and reread some of these posts, people said alot of good things about you. I know how it is when you're stressing - only certain things filter through.
You did good.
-T
Posted by Deneb on May 23, 2006, at 19:41:26
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger* your essay  » Deneb, posted by TexasChic on May 23, 2006, at 17:52:37
Thanks for making me feel a little better. I appreciate what you're trying to do. I'm feeling better about it now. It seems a bit more distant now that I'm home. It seems dreamlike.
After the APA workshop, I went to this other workshop about burnout among psychiatrists. It was pretty boring. A lot of people left in the middle of the lecture. It was mostly about priorities, and values. I learned that status is a big thing among psychiatrists, as is money. I thought they would touch on the high suicide rate among psychiatrists, but they didn't. I thought they would talk more the extent of the problem of burnout among psychiatrists, but they didn't.
Fallsfall, and AuntieMel went to a symposium on borderline personality disorder. I should have gone to that instead. However, now that I think about it, I think I would be too tired to sit through three hours of that. After that workshop on burnout, I went straight to my hostel and crashed. I was super tired.
I went to my room and discovered that my three roommates had APA bags too! It turns out that two of them are medical students and one is a doctor. They came from Finland to attend the APA meeting. They do research on schizophrenia and the doctor was presenting something on brain structures and schizophrenia. Isn't that just the strangest coincidence?
Anyways, I totally crashed into bed and slept until 4:30 p.m. I was feeling pretty bad because of what happened at the workshop too.
Then Fallsfall and AuntieMel gave me a call and asked me out to dinner. That brightened me up again. I met up with them at the convention centre and we took the subway. We ate at this Asian restaurant. I thought it was pretty good (for once, lol). They were busy, which was a good sign. I guess I'm pretty picky when it comes to foods.
Fallsfall and AuntieMel said dinner was on them. That was really sweet of them to do that. Thank-you Fallsfall and AuntieMel! I hope to return the favour someday.
Oh, I forgot to mention that on Saturday night, Larry took us to Swiss Chalet. I'd never eaten there before, even though there's one close by my home. You can tell I don't get out much. LOL. Larry gave us lucky coins he got from Chinatown. They're giant. Thank-you Larry!
Deneb*
Posted by TexasChic on May 23, 2006, at 20:14:17
In reply to Re: Monday, posted by Deneb on May 23, 2006, at 19:41:26
I'm glad you're feeling better. It seems like when you're really upset, I can 'hear' the panic and frustration in your posts, mainly because I feel the same things when I'm really upset. It as if I recognize it. Like me, these periods seem to eventually pass for you too. Of course that knowledge is no help when you're in the middle of one.
I think what you did, going on your own to Canada on the bus, staying at a hostel and sharing a room with complete strangers from other countries, talking in front of a crowd, it was all... well, pretty damned amazing. You take risks and do things even though they're really really hard. Feel good about what you've accomplished girl! You rock!!!!
-T
Posted by Deneb on May 23, 2006, at 20:34:28
In reply to Re: Monday » Deneb, posted by TexasChic on May 23, 2006, at 20:14:17
> You take risks and do things even though they're really really hard.
I guess you're right about that. I really did go on a trip all by myself. :-) I did it. I didn't get lost. I went on the subway all by myself and I didn't get lost. I can do things without others. I can ask for directions. I can order food at restaurants. I really did these things. :-)
Deneb*
Posted by Kath on May 23, 2006, at 20:40:53
In reply to Re: Monday » Deneb, posted by TexasChic on May 23, 2006, at 20:14:17
Hi Deneb - I don't 'know' anybody here very well at all, but I was thinking what T said - how brave you were.
When you were first telling about coming to Toronto, doing this, doing that - going to the hostel; going here & going there - I was thinking how "grown up" that seemed (& I'm 59!!!)...I'd find it "grown up" for ME to do it!!! Going alone to another country (I don't know where you live, but not in Canada, I gather). Even going to another CITY is a big deal as far as I'm concerned.
Speaking in public is certainly a big deal for most people. I liked what someone said about somebody who had been grumpy before you spoke & how then they changed. That was important. It's pretty 'humanizing' when someone is REAL...talks about real feelings & is OPEN about themself. That helps 'humanize' other people - helps them be in touch with their feelings, I think. Helps them feel warmth towards the person speaking.
I'm glad you met people who you talk with here. I was feeling so lonely, you people who know each other being in Toronto - so close to where I live & I wasn't a part of it. I'm glad you guys got to meet each other. A few years ago I met someone who I knew from PB. It was pretty special.
I hope you're happy with yourself for going on such a big adventure!!!!
:-))))) Kath
PS - I hope everyone kept up with brushing their teeth after eating all those butter tarts!!!
> I'm glad you're feeling better. It seems like when you're really upset, I can 'hear' the panic and frustration in your posts, mainly because I feel the same things when I'm really upset. It as if I recognize it. Like me, these periods seem to eventually pass for you too. Of course that knowledge is no help when you're in the middle of one.
>
> I think what you did, going on your own to Canada on the bus, staying at a hostel and sharing a room with complete strangers from other countries, talking in front of a crowd, it was all... well, pretty damned amazing. You take risks and do things even though they're really really hard. Feel good about what you've accomplished girl! You rock!!!!
>
> -T
Posted by happyflower on May 23, 2006, at 21:01:59
In reply to Re: Monday - Deneb, posted by Kath on May 23, 2006, at 20:40:53
Deneb! You were a lot braver than a lot of people would have been! A lot of people have trouble talking in front of crowds. Even my T , who has take meds (beta blockers) to control his nerves when he has to give a speech.
And from what everyone said, you must have done great! So give yourself a pat on the back. Just one question...... Are you going to sell Dr. Bob's essence or are you going to keep it all to yourself? ( you could make a lot of money) LOL I am just kidding! Take care!
Happyflower
Posted by Deneb on May 23, 2006, at 22:17:51
In reply to Re: Monday - Deneb, posted by Kath on May 23, 2006, at 20:40:53
Hi Kath,
I'm from Canada. Toronto is about a 5 hour's drive away from where I'm at.
Deneb*
Posted by annierose on May 23, 2006, at 22:19:02
In reply to Re: Monday - Deneb, posted by happyflower on May 23, 2006, at 21:01:59
Deneb -
I appreciate how you shared your experience with everyone back on the boards. And how open you share your feelings re: Dr. Bob. I find that so interesting because I forget that he is even here, monitoring these boards. He is a non-issue for me, although I met him and appreciate all that he does to maintain the boards, but he doesn't factor into my posting or babble relationships.
You are brave and strong. Remember that you did travel by yourself and went on all these adventures. If you were my daughter, I would be proud of you.
Don't be embarassed. Being open with your feelings is a good thing.
Posted by Deneb on May 23, 2006, at 22:22:58
In reply to Re: Monday - Deneb, posted by happyflower on May 23, 2006, at 21:01:59
> Just one question...... Are you going to sell Dr. Bob's essence or are you going to keep it all to yourself? ( you could make a lot of money) LOL I am just kidding! Take care!
> HappyflowerLOL.
I'm going to keep it all to myself. :-) I'm willing to share it with Babblers though.
Bob's essence came in handy today when I was riding the bus and thinking what a fool I had made of myself. I just can't help but smile to know that Dr. Bob hugged me. :-)
Deneb*
Posted by lynn971 on May 24, 2006, at 1:49:57
In reply to Re: Monday - Deneb » happyflower, posted by Deneb on May 23, 2006, at 22:22:58
I so wish I could have been there/
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 24, 2006, at 6:21:38
In reply to Re: Monday - Deneb, posted by lynn971 on May 24, 2006, at 1:49:57
> I so wish I could have been there/
<Homer voice>
Mmmmmm. Butter tarts!
Lar
Posted by AuntieMel on May 24, 2006, at 9:32:47
In reply to Re: I met Bob!!! » Deneb, posted by Phil on May 21, 2006, at 6:11:19
I'm all out of money now.
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