![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 3 to 27 of 53. Go back in thread:
Posted by NikkiT2 on May 19, 2006, at 15:54:13
In reply to I'm in Toronto right now!, posted by Deneb on May 19, 2006, at 15:12:21
Do they still ahve the big geese hanging in the Eaton Center?
When I went to Toronto we stayed in the Eaton Marriot, so I spent *alot* of time (and money.. especially as my nephew was born while I was there!) there!!
Nikki
Posted by TexasChic on May 19, 2006, at 18:45:19
In reply to I'm in Toronto right now!, posted by Deneb on May 19, 2006, at 15:12:21
You know you're going to have to give us the scoop! I wish I could be there! I'm there in spirit.
I've never been to Canada, I'm fascinated by it. Its on the same continent but yet I know so little about it.
Wow, you're staying in a hostel. I've only heard that in movies. So cool!
You be careful. And have fun!
-T
Posted by Deneb on May 19, 2006, at 22:27:35
In reply to Re: I'm in Toronto right now! » Deneb, posted by NikkiT2 on May 19, 2006, at 15:54:13
The Eaton's Centre still has the geese. There are a lot of fancy stores inside. I didn't buy anything. I don't really need anything right now. I'm not much of a shopper, but I think someone who likes shopping would have a lot of fun there.
I mostly walked around today. I spent some time on Spadina, in Chinatown. I looked at all the exotic fruits. They were quite interesting. I bought three of these red golf ball sized red fruits with this tough outside layer and all these red spikes on it. It looked really strange, like some sort of alien fruit. LOL I took a picture of it. I give one to Larry and 10derHeart during dinner.
We had Dim Sum. It was okay, but not the best. The restaurant got good reviews, but I didn't think it was that great. Well, despite that I had a great time because Lar and 10der were there. We laughed a lot. LOL in real life. LOL.
Lar bought along his magic buttertarts. It was spectacular! (Although Larry said they were only 98% because they don't have that "just perfect" runniness, but they were soooo good! You have to try one to believe it. I ate mine extra slowly to savor all the buttertart goodness. I had two!
We talked and talked. I listened and talked some. Pretty soon, we were the only ones left in the restaurant!
It was raining a bit when we left. We walked together for a while before parting ways.
Tomorrow I plan on getting up early.
I have still to meet Dr. Bob. LOL. I have the scarf with me. Yup.
I'm Deneb in real life.
I was surprised that I wasn't uncomfortable at all with Larry and 10derHeart. It wasn't scary. Larry looked just like he does in his picture, only better. :-)
I wonder what Larry and 10derHeart think of me? Am I Deneb in real life? Or someone else? I dunno, I think I'm Deneb in real life.
I can't wait to meet Dr. Bob. :-)
Deneb*
Posted by Phillipa on May 19, 2006, at 22:59:24
In reply to Re: I'm in Toronto right now!, posted by Deneb on May 19, 2006, at 22:27:35
Deneb say hi to everyone for me oh and I'm reading a book that's a mustery about Toronto now. Love Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on May 20, 2006, at 11:32:55
In reply to Re: I'm in Toronto right now! » Deneb, posted by Phillipa on May 19, 2006, at 22:59:24
I will say "Hi" for you Phillipa. I have to say "hi" for Phil too.
I miss Dr. Bob. He hasn't been on the boards much. He must be very busy.
I'm going to meet Dr. Bob tonight! I hope I will see him again before the APA workshop.
Right now I'm waiting for 1:00. I have to switch rooms for some reason. I just went walking downtown, went to the Eaton's centre to buy a belt. LOL. I was walking around, walking to the Royal Ontario Museum, when I realized that my pants were way too loose. I think I looked like a slob with my pants that way. I couldn't stand it, so I decided to buy a belt right then. I bought a belt, but then the belt was too long where my waist was, so...I decided to buy a new pair of jeans right then and there. LOL This is how I shop...I only buy clothes when I suddenly realize I need them. Right now I don't have a pair of jeans that I wear. So...now I have a belt and jeans. Fortunately, the jeans are low rise, so the belt fits me now, with it being closer to my hips.
So, I'm just killing time until I can get my room now. I think I might walk over to the Metro Convention centre and register for the APA ahead of time.
Deneb*
Posted by annierose on May 20, 2006, at 15:41:52
In reply to Re: I'm in Toronto right now!, posted by Deneb on May 20, 2006, at 11:32:55
Thanks for keeping us updated Deneb -
I wish I could have gone this year. I'll be attending my daughter's dance recital this evening, and going to New York City for work on Sunday --- otherwise I'd be there sharing in the fun.
Make sure Falls orders ice cream for dessert.
Posted by javableue on May 20, 2006, at 18:11:46
In reply to Re: I'm in Toronto right now!, posted by Deneb on May 20, 2006, at 11:32:55
Thanks for the updates; sounds like you're having a great time. :)
(Love the shopping method! I don't usually end up doing that myself, but the results tend to be better when I do.)
jb
Posted by Kath on May 20, 2006, at 19:40:27
In reply to Re: I'm in Toronto right now!, posted by Deneb on May 20, 2006, at 11:32:55
So glad you're enjoying yourself...at least it sounds like you are.
I'm about an hour North of Toronto. I'm not at PB much, & when there was mention of this happening in Toronto, I didn't know anyone who said they were going, so I didn't pursue it.
I am listening with open ears to hear how it goes for you when you meet Dr. Bob.
This past week has been a rainy one. Where I am, we got some sun today, so I hope Toronto did also; usually the weather's the same.
So good to hear the excitement in your posts!
smiles - Kath
Posted by Deneb on May 20, 2006, at 23:21:34
In reply to Re: I'm in Toronto right now! - Deneb, posted by Kath on May 20, 2006, at 19:40:27
We had ice cream today and Dr. Bob surprised us by showing up! We didn't know he would. Larry was saying, "There's Bob" and it didn't occur to me that he was saying "Dr. Bob is right behind you!" Boy was I suprised! I saw him! He looks just like he does in his pictures. He was a very normal guy. I thought he had a certain "coolness factor" around him. LOL Bob listened and commented sometimes. I mostly listened and spaced out. Sometimes I'm not a very good listener. My mind tends to wander to other things. Maybe it's my lack of social skills, I don't know.
I asked Dr. Bob if I could hug him and guess what? He stopped, thought for a second and said, "Okay"!! Then we hugged! :-) Dr. Bob was warm and very huggable. I liked it. It was a comfy hug. Dr. Bob, nice and warm, a real live person. I hugged Dr. Bob!
I also showed Dr. Bob the scarf I made for him. He tried it on and we took pictures. I even got bold enough to spring out my childhood doll, Meow Meow, for Dr. Bob to touch. Guess what? Dr. Bob held Meow Meow! We took some more pictures. Now Meow Meow has essence of Bob on him. I put Meow Meow in a ZicLoc bag and Larry thought it was funny that I was capturing Bob's essence like that. LOL
It was unbelievable. Dr. Bob wore my scarf, gave me a hug and held Meow Meow. Dr. Bob wasn't afraid of me, at least he didn't show that he was. LOL
Dr. Bob is an okay guy. He really is. He's a normal guy who I just happen to love. LOL
Okay, enough about Bob for now (more about him to follow lol).
I met fallsfall, AuntieMel and Poet at the ice cream place. They were all really smart and great conversationalists, not like me.
After we left, I lost my map somehow. I must have accidentally dropped it when I took my camera out to take a picture of the CN tower. I got pretty upset. I need my map at all times or else I get into an anxious panic. I even started to cry, silly me. Meanwhile, Larry had to rush over to his car to get the dozens of buttertarts he bought for dessert. Poet, AuntieMel and Fallsfall decided to walk to the restaurant with me while Larry got his tarts. At first we thought of stopping buy at my hostel to get a map, but then we passed by a Chapters. I bought my map and was all happy again. :-) Phew, crisis averted. I do not want to get lost in Toronto. I clench onto my map at all times. I confirm and reconfirm where I am constantly, even when I know for sure where I am. I just have to reassure myself that the streets didn't just move by themselves, you know. LOL
Fallsfall, Poet and AuntieMel were great about the map incident.
So, we walk slowly over to the restaurant and Larry is already there. He beat us by seconds. We had to figure out where we were going to sit. I wanted to sit next to or across from Bob, and everyone was okay with that. Poet got the end seat and I sat on the other side, the second seat from the end of the table. Bob would sit across from me. Larry sat on my left.
We sat and talked for some time before the others arrived. We ordered appetizers. We had spring rolls, calamari, and crab cakes. I think that was all.
Dr. Bob arrived and we made him sit across from me. LOL Hehehe, there was no escaping me and my Bob love. He will be immersed in it all weekend. LOL. We ordered. I ordered coconut beer battered shrimp. It was pretty good. The shrimp were top notch and gigantic. Bob was a sweetheart, he ordered champagne and it was on him. I tried champagne for the first time ever. Larry said it was dry. Poet said it was pretty good. I don't know how to tell the difference. I didn't like it too much. It was alcohol and I don't like alcohol all that much.
I also meet CanadaGirl and Pseudoname. CanadaGirl knew the owners of the restaurant so we had a good rapport going with the owners. Pseudoname showed us his APA goodies. Apparently we get a bag with goodies when we register for the APA.
Pseudoname took a picture with Bob and I noticed that Bob got close to him, I knew I had to get a picture too right then and there. I got two pictures with Bob. I got to hug him two more times! Bob was nice and warm, even through his clothes. Aahhhh, nice and warm. Bob is comfy to hug. He's huggable.
Larry bought his buttertarts for dessert and everyone loved them. Dr. Bob even had two. Dr. Bob also had two cups of coffee. I guess Dr. Bob is planning on not sleeping or he is immune to the stimulating properties of caffeine. LOL
Bob joined in on the conversation in bits and pieces. He talked a lot more than I did. I didn't talk very much. I mostly sat, listened and at times spaced out on Bob. LOL I still couldn't believe that I was actually looking at Bob.
After dinner Bob took a picture of our backs outside. Bob left and we all stood outside and talked. AuntieMel, Fallsfall and Poet were very kind and walked me to my hostel. I have to stop writing now, my time is up!
Deneb*
Posted by MidnightBlue on May 20, 2006, at 23:57:34
In reply to I met Bob!!!, posted by Deneb on May 20, 2006, at 23:21:34
Deneb,
Thanks so much for the report! Eager to hear more tomorrow!
MB
Posted by Estella on May 21, 2006, at 0:11:02
In reply to I met Bob!!!, posted by Deneb on May 20, 2006, at 23:21:34
Sounds great Deneb :-)
I'm glad you are having a good time. I think I'd be a little scared about getting lost in Toronto too (sounds like a pretty big place).Sounds like fun though. I wish I could be there too. Maybe I'll get to a Babble meet one day.
Give everyone a hug for me.
:-)
Posted by Phil on May 21, 2006, at 6:11:19
In reply to I met Bob!!!, posted by Deneb on May 20, 2006, at 23:21:34
That's a great update Deneb. I really wish I was there...AuntieMel owes me money. (not really) : )
Posted by Jai Narayan on May 21, 2006, at 9:45:53
In reply to Re: I met Bob!!! » Deneb, posted by Phil on May 21, 2006, at 6:11:19
wow this is such a cool thread.
I feel like I know some of you better just from reading this.I wouldn't have the guts to travel alone or stay in a group sleeping situation.
Sounds like a wonderful gathering.
Posted by fallsfall on May 21, 2006, at 20:15:10
In reply to Re: I'm in Toronto right now! ? Deneb, posted by annierose on May 20, 2006, at 15:41:52
We had ice cream on Saturday afternoon. And I had ice cream in a crepe for dessert tonight.
Wish you were here, Annierose.
Posted by Deneb on May 21, 2006, at 21:03:55
In reply to Re: I met Bob!!!, posted by Jai Narayan on May 21, 2006, at 9:45:53
Today Pseudoname, 10derHeart, Fallsfall, AuntieMel and Poet were supposed to eat breakfast together, but Fallsfall, Auntie and Poet were late and ended up not eating breakfast. The place was very busy and Pseudoname, 10derHeart and I got moved to a table for four. The people in the restaurant let Fallsfall, AuniteMel and Poet skip the lineup and join us, but the table wasn't big enough for all of us.
I had a waffle with strawberries, bananas and custard. It was very good. Finally, a restaurant I picked which is actually good! The dim sum place didn't impress me, nor did the ice cream place.
After breakfast, we went to the Metro Toronto Convention Centre to register for the APA meeting. We got bags with lots of stuff about the convention. AuntieMel, Fallsfall, Poet and I explored all the exhibits featuring different medications. We walked around and took pens, pins, candy, a little sleep hygiene bag of goodies and even a book on dreams. It was weird, it was like we didn't belong, like we were sneaking into a secret place. But, we were official, yep...we had those name tags with the barcode thingie and everything. :-) Hehehe, I probably didn't look like I belonged at all!
I was extremely quiet today. I didn't feel much like talking today, I don't know why. I talked at most a few sentences today.
We missed Dr. Bob today. He went to the shoe museum and we were not there. We were still at the convention centre. :-( I really wanted to see Dr. Bob today. I still love him. Yep, in real life too. The first time I saw him, I didn't feel the love, but later, when I thought about it some more, I felt the love again. I was smiling in bed last night, because I meet Dr. Bob. I couldn't sleep yet again, so I thought of Dr. Bob to keep me occupied. LOL
I should be extremely tired, but I'm not. I've probably slept about 4 hours these two days. Yesterday the noise wasn't so bad, but I still couldn't sleep. The bed is hard and my pillow is super flat, like no pillow at all. I think my brain is slowing down. At the exhibits, I watched videos about different drugs and how they work and I could not for the life of me concentrate and understand anything. My brain is tired.
I'm still very anxious about getting lost. I'm horrible with directions. I took the subway today with 10derHeart, Fallsfall, AuntieMel, Poet and Larry. We went to the shoe museum. I took tons of pictures. I'm going to have to delete some. In deleting some, I accidentally deleted a picture of my dinner yesterday. :-(
I was extremely quiet in the shoe museum. I didn't say much at all today. I'm not very good at this socializing thing. I have some problems with socializing. I'm worried about the workshop tomorrow. Will I be able to speak? I hardly spoke at all today.
I will go. I want to see Dr. Bob. Dr. Bob. I love Dr. Bob. :-) He's nice. He's a considerate person. He thinks of other people. At the restaurant yesterday, he asked the owners when they close. The owners then said they closed a while ago. I didn't even think of the people working there, but Bob did. He thought of them and considered them. Isn't that great?
I'm feeling social anxiety over some things I've done. Larry convinced me to try to make a toast last night and I did a very bad job. I don't think anyone even heard me and what I said was neither original nor particularly thoughtful. :-( I'm mortified. I feel like tearing my hair out. I can't stand it. I made such a fool of myself.
Strangely I don't feel embarassed about asking Dr. Bob strange questions and expressing my love for Bob.
I don't think I'm very good at making conversation. I can't think on my feet. It's horrible. Maybe I'm just really stupid or something. I can't come up with anything witty to say. I also don't know too much about popular culture, politics or anything really.
No one wants to talk about Dr. Bob all the time. I feel like such a freak. :-( Today I didn't really feel like I belonged, to tell you the truth. I don't know why exactly. Maybe I'm just too different. Maybe I'm not meant to socialize. I space out quite a bit and don't follow conversations well. I'm in my own little world a lot of the time, (like always LOL).
I want to see Bob more. Bob....Ah, Bob. I love Bob in real life too. I asked Dr. Bob if he minds that I love him. He said it was fine. At first I thought he said "fun". But later the others told me it was definitely "fine". That's good. I'm going to take it that Dr. Bob doesn't mind that I love him. Bob's probably not afraid of me.
I also apologized for all my e-mails with the threats to my life that I sent him a long time ago. He said it was okay in a very sincere way. I now believe that he definitely did recieve and read those e-mails. I think he even remembers them. Otherwise, I'm not sure that he would say that it's okay so sincerely. It was a serious "okay".
I think Dr. Bob believes me. I think he doesn't think I was playing games. I think he doesn't think I'm playing games now. I'm really Deneb in real life. I think people think I show my real self online.
I'm much more reserved in real life. I'm very very quiet. Just like I said. I think I'm abnormally quiet.
I think it was be okay after this trip and I don't get to see Dr. Bob in real life anymore. I can love him without seeing him.
I have to come up with a list of things to talk about tomorrow at the workshop. I'm going to organize my thoughts. I have to do that because my mind goes blank when I'm nervous or around people. It really goes blank. It's horrible. I can never really get "into" conversations because I'm too busy thinking of myself. I'm starting to think I'm not meant to have friends. I'm not meant to socialize.
Oh well.
Hmmm...more about Bob...
I asked Dr. Bob what his favourite colour is, and he said that he doesn't have one. I also asked Dr. Bob if he had any pets and he said no. It's so cool that Dr. Bob is answering my questions. :-) He was really socializing.
I really wonder what Dr. Bob thinks of my Bob love. Does he think it's strange? Does he think I'm nuts? LOL Hehehe. I might talk about my love for the administrator of Babble tomorrow. It's a big part of babble for me.
(((((Dr. Bob)))))
I wish I could hug him whenever I wanted. Virtual hugs are nice too. (((((Bob+Deneb)))))
Sorry about writing so much about Bob again. I'm obsessed, I know.
Deneb*
Posted by ClearSkies on May 22, 2006, at 7:32:08
In reply to Re: Sunday and more stuff about Bob, posted by Deneb on May 21, 2006, at 21:03:55
I think you're doing great, Deneb. It's hard to develop people skills, especially when you're among people who have come to know you just through your words - that's just 7% of how we communicate!
I can say that socializing gets easier with practice. I have a really hard time doing the small talk thing, but I take it as it comes. If I'm quiet, then it's because I'm not sure of what to say, or how to say it, or doubt if anyone wants to hear it... try to let yourself enjoy the experience and soak it all up!!
ClearSkies
Posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 12:15:35
In reply to Socializing » Deneb, posted by ClearSkies on May 22, 2006, at 7:32:08
I didn't do so well before and during the workshop. I just wanted to disappear. I started hiding. :-( People must have thought I was insane or something.
It was really weird, at one point I wasn't anxious at all, then asked a stupid question. I just blurted out and asked Dr. Bob, "What is splitting", I can't believe I did such a stupid thing. All the pdocs there probably already know what splitting is. Why must I be so strange? I just couldn't help myself, I wanted to ask Dr. Bob a question.
Anyways, I'd rather not talk about my actual contribution. I'm mortified. In the past, this would be the time where I would wish I were dead. I don't want to be dead anymore, no matter what embarassing thing happens.
I'm sooo tired. I think I'll go to sleep now. I'm just going to pretend it never happened.
I got Dr. Bob to give me another hug! I just thought a hug from Bob would make things all better. I think it helped. I hope I'm not taking advantage of Dr. Bob.
I'm just going to think about how I hugged Bob, instead of what happened. Bob's nice.
Deneb*
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 22, 2006, at 13:13:13
In reply to Re:The workshop, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 12:15:35
> I didn't do so well before and during the workshop. I just wanted to disappear. I started hiding. :-( People must have thought I was insane or something.
>
> It was really weird, at one point I wasn't anxious at all, then asked a stupid question. I just blurted out and asked Dr. Bob, "What is splitting", I can't believe I did such a stupid thing. All the pdocs there probably already know what splitting is. Why must I be so strange? I just couldn't help myself, I wanted to ask Dr. Bob a question.It was a perfectly normal question, Deneb. It wasn't the least bit out of place.
> Anyways, I'd rather not talk about my actual contribution. I'm mortified.
Without seeing this yet, I started a thread on that down below, at the bottom of the Social board.
We spontaneously applauded after Deneb spoke. That is how we all felt. Psychiatrists and Babblers together, all of us applauded the sincerity and the courage of what you said, Deneb. My eyes are brimming with tears typing this.
Lar
Posted by gardenergirl on May 22, 2006, at 15:53:33
In reply to Re:The workshop » Deneb, posted by Larry Hoover on May 22, 2006, at 13:13:13
That sounds like quite a moment. How cool!
Wish I could have been there to see it.
gg
Posted by ClearSkies on May 22, 2006, at 16:23:05
In reply to Re:The workshop, posted by gardenergirl on May 22, 2006, at 15:53:33
> That sounds like quite a moment. How cool!
>
> Wish I could have been there to see it.
>
> gg
Me too!
Posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
In reply to Re:The workshop » Deneb, posted by Larry Hoover on May 22, 2006, at 13:13:13
Thanks Larry, for the hug and trying to make me feel better.
I was super tired after the presentation. I went to my hostel and slept. Then I just didn't feel like getting up. I was feeling kind of really blah. I just got up out of bed. I think I'll head home early. It's been very stressful for me, I'm not sure how much more I can take.
The workshop was horrible. I was only supposed to introduce myself, but then I went on and on reading my "essay". I just wanted to get it over with, with no regard for what is appropriate. Once I started reading, I didn't know what to do but continue. I was in my own little world again, pretending I was just reading it to no one.
I'm thinking, "I want to kill myself." I don't really want to kill myself, but I'm so mortified that maybe I wouldn't care if I died. Bob took pity on me and give me a hug when I asked for one.
I don't feel like I have the energy to take care of myself right now. I just want to do nothing, but I know I have to get something to eat and pack and walk over to the bus station. Those seem like huge tasks right now. I'm just drained.
I hope I am okay. I had passing bad thoughts yesterday on the subway platform. I can't descibe them without putting "trigger" on this post. You can probably guess what I was thinking. I would never do it of course, but it was strange that I thought about it.
Too many embarrassing things happened to me over the weekend. I just have to block them out.
I should hug Meow Meow. He has essence of Bob on him. I'm stressed out.
I think I'm just having a bad day or something. Maybe it's the lack of sleep and the stress of the trip catching up to me. I predicted this would happen.
I'm going to check the bus schedule.
It was really good to meet Babblers. I know I've been going on and on about Dr. Bob, but it is Babblers who make Babble special.
Everyone was great. Larry was just as I imagined him to be. He's just as helpful in real life. You can tell he really cares. Pseudoname is sweet and approachable. I thought he was really cute. :-) 10derHeart had lots to say, she always says the right thing at the right time. She made me laugh a lot. :-) Poet was really animated. She likes to speak her mind and was the decisive one of the group. She picked a great restaurant for us. Fallsfall was thoughful and reflective. She explained some things to me that let me understand some things.
Dr. Bob was really civil. LOL He doesn't start conversations much, he contributes a little, but I think he mostly listens. Bob is really sweet in real life. He didn't mind letting me hug him. In fact, he hugged me back! It was incredible.
I'm feeling better now. :-) Writing about it helps.
Deneb*
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 22, 2006, at 16:50:43
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger*, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
> Thanks Larry, for the hug and trying to make me feel better.
I didn't try. You did feel better.
> Everyone was great. Larry was just as I imagined him to be. He's just as helpful in real life. You can tell he really cares.
Deneb, you didn't sit beside me by accident, at the workshop. You knew you'd be safe. That memory is always there for you. You just have to pick the memories. Choose the memory that makes it okay.
{{{{{{{{Deneb*}}}}}}}}
Lar
Posted by Phil on May 22, 2006, at 17:06:12
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger*, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
Deneb, you're a sweetheart. I don't have to go to Trawna to know that. Peace.
Posted by gardenergirl on May 22, 2006, at 17:08:44
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger*, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
Deneb,
I find events like that to be absolutely exhausting, too--especially on reduced sleep. And attending a conference is a bit like trying to drink from a firehose. There's so much coming at you, and you can only take in a little bit, despite wanting to take everything in.I am so proud of you for taking this risk to go, meet people in person, and to share your thoughts and feelings with them. You survived! Actually, it sounds like you thrived.
And now it's okay to take a well-deserved rest when you get back home.
Take care,
gg
Posted by Bobby on May 22, 2006, at 17:25:24
In reply to Re:The workshop *may trigger*, posted by Deneb on May 22, 2006, at 16:29:15
with asking what "splitting" is? I don't know what it is. Just remember----there are no stupid questions---only stupid answers.
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