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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 61. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 20:55:10
A dozen roses---$19.99 (I know because I bought them).
A bottle of wine from the fridge---$11.99
Frozen pizza------$4.99 (I know because I bought it and heated it.)
Knowing where your husband is at 9:30 p.m. on your birthday?
I have no clue.
Anyone know where the hell my husband is?
Anyone?
Bueller?
Somebody get the kleenex, because this week has gone from bad to baddest.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 21:10:19
In reply to Birthday blues, posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 20:55:10
Without apology or explanation other than he had a bad day. He doesn't know why he didn't call.
And oh yes, he's hungry. Poor baby boy.
Well, at least I know he's fine.
Now...anyone know about someone else who's MIA?
Nah, forget it. I should keep that private. At least as much as it can be considering...
Dang it all. I'm off to have a bath in a bit and head to bed. If this is what the next year is like, I might not crawl out of bed until 2006.
Thanks for letting me have a birthday pity party.
gg
Posted by Damos on June 9, 2005, at 21:32:33
In reply to 10:00 pm the boy returns, posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 21:10:19
Don't you just love it when sayings like "ignorance is bliss" come to life. I'm really sorry your birthday turned out that way gg. Here's hoping it was a carry-over activity from the prior year and that the universe is actively conspiring to bring you lots of good things in the coming one. Big birthday hug to you
((((((((((gg))))))))))
Posted by alexandra_k on June 9, 2005, at 21:57:50
In reply to No, no, no, surely not..... » gardenergirl, posted by Damos on June 9, 2005, at 21:32:33
Aw gg, I hate birthday blues :-(
But then I hate birthdays because IMO they are fairly inevitable.
I'm sorry you had a lousy day.
We love you and appreciate you
Posted by fallsfall on June 9, 2005, at 22:00:33
In reply to 10:00 pm the boy returns, posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 21:10:19
Well, we would have had a party for you. We still could if you are still up. Or we could do it tomorrow. Some of us haven't a clue what the date is, so we could easily think it was your birthday.
I'm bringing the ice cream!!!!!!!!!!!!!1. Chocolate Lover's Passion
2. Mint Chocolate Chip
3. Moose Tracks
4. Raspberry Chocolate Chip
5. Butter Crunch
6. Sticky Fingers
7. Peanut Butter Swirl
8. Orange Sherbet
9. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
10. VanillaIs that enough ice cream???? Did I miss your favorite flavor?
Posted by annierose on June 9, 2005, at 22:01:42
In reply to 10:00 pm the boy returns, posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 21:10:19
Boy GG - I wish we were still in the Windy City and we could toast to your birthday. Did he at least remember it was your birthday?
On my last birthday, my 6 year old was so upset because my husband wasn't giving me a party (not that I wanted one). "Dad, can't we do something special for mommy?" So a little guilt, and my husband promised my son that we would go out for dinner to celebrate. If it wasn't for him ... who knows.
Hey - you can't go to bed. The NBA finals are on and we need some cheering from the entire Midwest!!
If I lived 4 hours closer, I'd bring over a bottle of $20 wine and your favorite flavor of ice cream.
Tell your husband some groveling is in order. My husband is still apologizing over Chicago, or at least, I keep the conversation going on how rude he was to me on the phone. Just as a reminder, of course.
This year will be great. You're going to graduate, get a bunch of wonderful clients with interesting life problems, see your sister get married, and some surprises (good ones).
Annierose
Posted by annierose on June 9, 2005, at 22:05:38
In reply to THE party of the year. » gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on June 9, 2005, at 22:00:33
Does my vote count?
Bring them all and I'll bring some toppings ... heckers, you only live once!!
Whipped cream (the real kind)
Chopped nuts
Hot fudge, of courseMarshmellow fluff, because you only get that when you're a kid
Carmel sauce (might as well warm that up too)
Broken oreo cookies, m & m's and butterfingers
Bananas ... need to get a fruit in
Cherries on top
Posted by All Done on June 9, 2005, at 22:22:26
In reply to 10:00 pm the boy returns, posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 21:10:19
I'm sorry life is treating you so poorly right now. I wish I could help and make it all better for you.
Darn it, your birthday was supposed to be as special as you are.
((((((((((gg))))))))))
Hugs,
Laurie
Posted by All Done on June 9, 2005, at 22:24:11
In reply to 10:00 pm the boy returns, posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 21:10:19
You want me to kick his butt for you? Cuz I will ya know. I'm in a mood tonight.
;)
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 9, 2005, at 22:26:39
In reply to 10:00 pm the boy returns, posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 21:10:19
Men! They're all the same.
Sorry sweetie, it's not supposed to happen that way. Give him a good hint upside the head, and tell him it was from Lar, 'kay?
Lar
Posted by All Done on June 9, 2005, at 22:26:48
In reply to THE party of the year. » gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on June 9, 2005, at 22:00:33
> Some of us haven't a clue what the date is, so we could easily think it was your birthday.
LOL, falls!
Posted by All Done on June 9, 2005, at 22:32:24
In reply to Re: 10:00 pm the boy returns » gardenergirl, posted by Larry Hoover on June 9, 2005, at 22:26:39
> Give him a good hint upside the head, and tell him it was from Lar, 'kay?
>
> LarWant to tag team him, Lar? I don't exactly know what that means, but it seems like it might be appropriate in this situation.
Posted by Deneb on June 9, 2005, at 22:33:23
In reply to Birthday blues, posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 20:55:10
I hate birthdays too some years. The pressure to "enjoy" oneself can be enormous at times. I'd say, forget about birthdays...you can always figure out how old you are by subtraction. :-)
I'd say, make all your happy days your "birthday" and celebrate!
Deneb (used to be shy_girl)
Posted by Jazzed on June 9, 2005, at 22:35:27
In reply to Birthday blues, posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 20:55:10
I hope he got you something nice. Make him take you out tomorrow.
If I were invited to your b'day I'd get you a winning lottery ticket, because you're always so helpful and giving.
Jazzy
Posted by Poet on June 9, 2005, at 22:38:39
In reply to Birthday blues, posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 20:55:10
Safe Cyber Hugs ((((((GG))))),
We'll celebrate your unbirthday like in Alice in Wonderland. I get to be the red queen in the croquet game. Falls has the ice cream list ready. I'll have lots of red wine. Good stuff, not the cheap kind I buy at the drug store the wino that I am.
Sorry your birthday birthday wasn't so good. Your unbirthday will be much, much better.
Poet
Posted by gardenergirl on June 10, 2005, at 0:14:05
In reply to Re: Birthday blues » gardenergirl, posted by Poet on June 9, 2005, at 22:38:39
Hi everyone.
I've got a weak smile going here. I appreciate everyone's support. Wish I could answer each individual, but I've got the crying headache going.
So, here's the thing. He did it on purpose.
Let me say that again. He did it ON PURPOSE!
Holy crap. I still don't quite believe it. He admitted it. Poor dear. Seems payback is a bitch, it seems. On his birthday, I was in a deep depression. I got him a lovely gift, but I just couldn't handle the dinner, so we did it another night.
Seems he's lonely and I am shutting him out. UM, this is NOT the way to go about correcting that! And um, see me curl up like a grub protecting that soft underbelly? And you wonder why I'm shutting you out? (sorry for shift in person...). Anyone remember the "I'm thinking of buying a gun, but I won't tell you about it" "joke" that he pulled before? And he wonders why I shut him out? I can't take too many body blows, especially when I'm getting them from all directions.
Laurie and Lar, thanks for the offer to knock him upside the head. I already blasted him. Seems that incident with the dude parked in the middle of the road has sparked a new me. Express that anger! Go ahead and say the f-word! You are PO'd! Go off. (Please note, I do not give this advice to my clients.) :-)
Anyway, it certainly felt authentic, and I'm sure it expressed that I was more than "a bit peeved."
I think we have a long and hard row to hoe here. I've been struggling with why I can't let myself let him in, in a number of ways. I know it's not realistic to believe that someone will never hurt you. But intentional hurt? I've just got to protect myself from that. I think he needs to earn my trust again, and that will not be easy or quick.
Sigh
I hate these damned crying headaches. And I feel like I'm going to hurl.
Off to bed to try to get some sleep.
Thanks again, folks. I'm so glad y'all are here.
gg
Posted by Sonya on June 10, 2005, at 8:01:05
In reply to Thanks for support--update--it's even worse, posted by gardenergirl on June 10, 2005, at 0:14:05
gg - hard to believe the people we're closest too and we love the most could inflict so much pain. When I was in a horrible funk last year my husband often made matters worse even though I know he loves me. I feel for you. I hope the two of you can discuss this, forgive each other and put it behind you.
Birthday hugs to you! Feel better!
Posted by partlycloudy on June 10, 2005, at 8:08:23
In reply to Thanks for support--update--it's even worse, posted by gardenergirl on June 10, 2005, at 0:14:05
GG, I'm so sorry you had a "pay back" birthday present from your spouse. It's not at all what you deserve, my fine friend.
It sounds like he *really* doesn't understand depression. Have you had any counselling together?
I also am happy to volunteer to whack the guy upside the head, but in my experience (sorry to say) it doesn't do much good.Here's to hoping that today is a much better day for you.
((((gg))))
pc
Posted by Dinah on June 10, 2005, at 8:25:50
In reply to Thanks for support--update--it's even worse, posted by gardenergirl on June 10, 2005, at 0:14:05
Oh, gg. I'm so sorry. That was utterly rotten of him. :(
Do you think he might have been upset about last weekend as well?
My husband is currently punishing me for what seems like being happy, but I'm sure has something to do with my going off and leaving him as well. He's pulling out his "I'm afraid I'll lose my job." that he's trotted out for years whenever I'm feeling good.
Sometimes I ask myself that classic Ann Landers question, and sometimes I'm not sure of the answer. Is my husband subtly trying to keep me depressed? Is yours?
Posted by gardenergirl on June 10, 2005, at 8:33:10
In reply to Re: Thanks for support--update--it's even worse » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on June 10, 2005, at 8:25:50
Hi Dinah,
Your reply has me thinking. He did bring up last weekend in the context of me trying to decide if I feel up to going away with him this weekend. He applied pressure by saying that he would be hurt that I did the Babble thing and then wouldn't go with him. And he whined that he probably can't get a flight at this point and doesn't want to drive alone. I know I shouldn't let that affect my decision, but it is a factor.And I've got so much backlog of work because the last few days have not been productive at all. Sigh. Another reason I don't feel up to going.
I think we reached a good compromise, though about this weekend. But I'm still curled up like a grub. My client has not shown at the moment, so I may give my T a call.
And about him subtly keeping me depressed...well, you could be right. I need to think about that. I did holler at him that I was depressed before he met me, and I never hid it from him, so if he has a problem with it, why did he marry me? And he needs order in his life so much, I'm afraid my scatteriness and depression really really conflict with that need. Because trust me, I can't be ordered like a rack of spices.
Thanks for your ongoing support.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on June 10, 2005, at 8:35:40
In reply to Re: Thanks for support--update--it's even worse » gardenergirl, posted by partlycloudy on June 10, 2005, at 8:08:23
Hi PC,
Thanks for being here. I know whacking him won't help, but what a stupid, stupid thing to do. Sheesh.We haven't done counseling together, but it's in our future. I'd really prefer, though, that he go to individual first. He's got issues, as you can clearly see. He's moving towards going, but I know it scares the pants off of him. I'm trying to be patient, but I drew the line last night and told him that this behavior was unacceptable and "never again." (as if I have control of that...)
Thanks again. I'm remembering real hugs, and that makes your support so much sweeter.
gg
> GG, I'm so sorry you had a "pay back" birthday present from your spouse. It's not at all what you deserve, my fine friend.
> It sounds like he *really* doesn't understand depression. Have you had any counselling together?
> I also am happy to volunteer to whack the guy upside the head, but in my experience (sorry to say) it doesn't do much good.
>
> Here's to hoping that today is a much better day for you.
> ((((gg))))
> pc
Posted by gardenergirl on June 10, 2005, at 8:36:40
In reply to Re: Thanks for support--update--it's even worse, posted by Sonya on June 10, 2005, at 8:01:05
Sonya,
Thanks for your understanding. I'm sorry it comes from experience, though. :(Today seems a little better, and I've got some chammomile tea here to soothe. Now if only I had some cucumber for these eyes...
gg
Posted by AdaGrace on June 10, 2005, at 10:03:28
In reply to Birthday blues, posted by gardenergirl on June 9, 2005, at 20:55:10
Everyone has a story don't they. I think you will find that there are more of us out there who have experienced some of the same or similar things you have. Doesn't make it better, or diminish your own pain, but it does seem to help when someone else understands and has been there.
I am sorry your birthday was so crappy. Mr Man should have been more caring and sensitive instead of selfish. Good grief, he was holding that grudge against you for his birthday for a year? Boy, you said it when you told PC that he "had issues". But don't we all.
I find that my Mr. Man also tends to have problems with me being happy. Happy that is with other people. Can't laugh too loud on the phone, he might be feeling left out. I liked what Dinah suggested about yours trying to keep you down. It could be, you know. I've often wondered that about my own situation.
Anyway, paybacks sure are hell. Lording guilt over you is just as bad. I think I would probably get back in the marital swing of things with my own little personal revenge tour.
Suggestions for GG to gain her status back on the Birthday Queen pedestal:
(Note: These should probably be done in private and not told to the recipient)1. Drop his steak on the floor and put it back on his plate. (Now if this were at my house, that would have to be a chicken leg. Poor people have poor ways.)
2. Use his toothbrush to clean the gunk out of your jewelry. (Or the toilet if you dare!)
3. Hide the remote and say the kids/pet (insert appropriate scapegoat) must have lost it.
4. Add rubbing alcohol to his after shave lotion. Don't be shy, that old addage that a "little dab'll do ya" just doesn't apply here.
5. As a matter of fact, use his razor to clean the fuzz balls off your sweater. Be sure to get all that fuzz out from between the blades, you don't want any tell tale signs of anything being amiss. By the way, this one should probably be done before #4 for the most effective results.
6. Wait until he is taking a shower, and decide that the whites need to be laundered......in VERY hot water. "Oops, your didn't realize he was in there"
7. Sprinkle lots of talcom powder on fresh new sheets, don't rub it in. Men hate pungent smells, he might have to go to the couch for the night.
8. Decide that everyone in the house must go on a diet, remove all sweets and fattening things from the house...or better yet, just hide that stuff in your closet so you know where it is when you need it......replace with not fat cheese, milk, you name it....."make it so".
9. Start a new tradition of "YOUR" house being the place for your friends to gather and have a weekly facial/nail/hair "Girl's Night In" party that lasts for several hours. This should probably be done on an occassion when you know he will be home, and preferrably in his way. Like say, the living room. You should probably let the air out of his tires so he can't escape. (Babblemail me for foolproof and non tracing instructions)
And last but certainly not least,
10. Have a perpetual headache. Now do I need to eeesplain dat to ju Lucy? Lets face it honey, sometimes the only way to get back at a man is to do it without them knowing it, but having the satifation that it was done. I find witholding sex tends to work more often than not.
Now, GG, go out, get a pedicure, buy a new summer purse &/or shoes and a bottle if wine. Go home and prop your feet up, admire your new toe do, and plot your next move......."Zippity do da, zippity ay, my oh my what a wonderful day........"
Signed Me,
The Deviant One.....(used to be full of Grace)
Posted by JenStar on June 10, 2005, at 10:03:55
In reply to Thanks for support--update--it's even worse, posted by gardenergirl on June 10, 2005, at 0:14:05
oh GG,
I'm so sorry about all this! (((((gg)))))
I hope he comes to his senses soon and realizes that this is not the right way to handle it.You poor thing! I'm sending lots of virtual hugs and chocolate your way.
JenStar
Posted by sunny10 on June 10, 2005, at 10:18:33
In reply to Re: Birthday blues » gardenergirl, posted by AdaGrace on June 10, 2005, at 10:03:28
yeah, my story like that had a man I was "engaged to" having me clean up his boat for the month before my birthday (he worked weekends and I didn't, so I was helping out).
And on my birthday weekend, he took it out of the driveway for a "weekend with the boys"- left me home alone. And THEN I found out he was actually with a girl that worked for him on the boat all weekend, alone ON MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND!!!
I think there was something wrong with my server yesterday, 'cause I didn't get all of these posts until today...Sorry I wasn't helpful at the time- and I'm probably not much help now, but maybe at least you know you're definitely not alone in tihs whole B-Day blues thing!
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