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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on April 27, 2005, at 8:21:15
It felt like I wandered through a netherworld of loneliness all night. I was searching for a home. I was with two men. one of them was carrying me on his back. At one point he was on his knees with me, I said, "Don't your knees hurt?". I wanted to walk myself but I couldn't, for some reason, it was dangerous for me to walk.
We wandered through forests, on back roads, looking for my home. We didn't find it. We ended up in a threatening place, it was a holiday type resort, but we were trying to avoid someone, woke up feeling very very hopeless and alone. Phoned the ex-T's machine three times just to hear his voice. I thought I was getting over him, maybe I am, I thought I was getting strong, maybe I am. But these dreams, they suck life away, out of me, when you're alone and there's nothing in your head but your dream, it's terrible.
Posted by sunny10 on April 27, 2005, at 9:09:35
In reply to Nightmare, posted by Susan47 on April 27, 2005, at 8:21:15
Posted by Susan47 on April 27, 2005, at 12:59:58
In reply to Re: relating it, or asking for interpretations? (nm) » Susan47, posted by sunny10 on April 27, 2005, at 9:09:35
Posted by alesta on April 28, 2005, at 12:08:58
In reply to Nightmare, posted by Susan47 on April 27, 2005, at 8:21:15
> It felt like I wandered through a netherworld of loneliness all night. I was searching for a home.
well, that part's obvious. you're lonely.
<I was with two men. one of them was carrying me on his back. At one point he was on his knees with me, I said, "Don't your knees hurt?".
<I wanted to walk myself but I couldn't,maybe you need some help in getting through things right now..or need companionship..maybe you should reach out to someone, susan.
<for some reason, it was dangerous for me to walk.
what is threatening to you in your life right now?
> We wandered through forests, on back roads, looking for my home. We didn't find it.
maybe you want to find a place where you belong? it sounds like you're not sure where that is..(maybe..i'm guessing on all this)
<We ended up in a threatening place, it was a holiday type resort,
the holiday type resort may represent a need for a mental vacation.
<but we were trying to avoid someone,
if the 'someone' was a stranger, it probably represents you..you're trying to avoid a part of yourself.
<woke up feeling very very hopeless and alone.
you feel hopeless and alone
<Phoned the ex-T's machine three times just to hear his voice. I thought I was getting over him, maybe I am, I thought I was getting strong, maybe I am. But these dreams, they suck life away, out of me, when you're alone and there's nothing in your head but your dream, it's terrible.
perhaps you should listen to what your dream is telling you..
amy:)
Posted by alesta on April 28, 2005, at 12:11:55
In reply to Nightmare, posted by Susan47 on April 27, 2005, at 8:21:15
i had a *horrible* nightmare last night myself. the worst..
someone was at the door looking in somehow, kept scanning the room to find me, hovering really menacingly. i was hiding on the floor behind a couch..i had my face pressed hard on the floor..i was trying to get down as low as i possibly could so they couldn't see me..i knew if they saw me something horrible would happen..it may not sound like that bad of a nightmare but it was really unbelievably terrifying.
amy
Posted by sunny10 on April 28, 2005, at 12:20:13
In reply to Re: Nightmare, posted by alesta on April 28, 2005, at 12:11:55
are you afraid to "let yourself be you, horns and all"??? Are you afraid of what might happen if you let people really KNOW you???
Posted by sunny10 on April 28, 2005, at 12:29:00
In reply to Nightmare, posted by Susan47 on April 27, 2005, at 8:21:15
one of two "men" was carrying you. What role was the other "man" playing?
You obviously feel lonely and afraid of where your own choices might lead you, thus you are content to let someone carry you for a time, even though letting go of the control of your decisions is scary. As usual, you are concerned that you are "too much of a burden" to the one you are allowing to take care of you.
You need a break and are afraid to take one- because you are avoiding what insights may come if you give yourself an emotional break and use only your logic. I could see you viewing an emotional ease as a type of holiday resort theme....
Beginning to realize that you don't "need" someone anymore, that you can take care of yourself, is a pretty scary feeling at first. Like walking the tightrope without a safety net even though you know your balance is perfect...
That's my interpretation anyway...
Posted by alesta on April 28, 2005, at 12:39:00
In reply to Re: Nightmare » alesta, posted by sunny10 on April 28, 2005, at 12:20:13
> are you afraid to "let yourself be you, horns and all"??? Are you afraid of what might happen if you let people really KNOW you???
OH MY! LOL that's quite an interpretation, sunny!!:) i didn't see that coming! hehe. well, that may be true. i think it might mean that i trying to hide from something unpleasant/scary in my life or something..i can't remember what my interpretation was now after hearing yours!
but what you said is true of me. i can't stand the dark side in myself. try so, so hard to be good all the time. it's always in the back of my mind..amy..must..be..good. thanks for that laugh! i'm really not evil, sunny, i promise!!!! i really am sweet..that's how i come across in person..this is me, man! <nervous laughter> i think any of us can be jerks if we don't have our eye on being a good person continually..
up! this is another ramble..guess that's my new modus operandi (sp).
amy, aka mother theresa (a nickname a friend gave me, no kidding)..
amy;)
Posted by alesta on April 28, 2005, at 12:56:54
In reply to Re: Nightmare » sunny10, posted by alesta on April 28, 2005, at 12:39:00
just in case anyone was interested, i gave my dream some more thought to see what resounded with what's going on in my life right now..i think i'm afraid of/trying to hide from men/relationships..deep down i am scared.
amy
Posted by sunny10 on April 28, 2005, at 14:20:25
In reply to Re: Nightmare, posted by alesta on April 28, 2005, at 12:56:54
Posted by Susan47 on April 28, 2005, at 14:57:36
In reply to Re: Nightmare » Susan47, posted by alesta on April 28, 2005, at 12:08:58
You two gave me a lot to think about. Really, it was a wonderful dream and thinking about it now makes me grateful I have Babble to come to, somewhere I can post a dream. It's there now, I can look at it but I'm not alone with it. Now I can finally think about it, because putting it here and having you guys help me analyze it has given me the opportunity to hold the dream in my hand and observe it.
I'm not done observing but I have a strong feeling about the man on his knees. He's my ex-T, my feeling is that I brought him to his knees therapy-wise, and the reason I asked him "Don't your knees hurt?" is because I knew he couldn't bear carrying me, it's not that he's weak because if he were he wouldn't have had me on his back in the first place, but somehow it's my way of saying it's okay, you don't have to carry me but you need to tell me you're not going to carry me anymore. Because if you do, I'll take the ride.My boundaries really suck, is what I learned this morning. With my ex-, at the doctor's office. :]
But I'm going to examine this dream a bit more, I'm wanting to do that at some point, thanks girls, you were unselfish and really wonderful to help me. :-)
Posted by alesta on April 28, 2005, at 16:01:26
In reply to Alesta and Sunny, posted by Susan47 on April 28, 2005, at 14:57:36
aww, glad to help susan. that's what we here for, girl! :-)
you don't need to make note of this, sue, but i'd like to make one correction in my dream symbol analysis.
a stranger in a dream can be either
1. an aspect of yourself
2. represent someone you actually know
3. symbolize a concept e.g. relationshipsamy
Posted by Susan47 on April 29, 2005, at 11:31:19
In reply to Alesta and Sunny, posted by Susan47 on April 28, 2005, at 14:57:36
You know, this is terrible about my boundaries. Because he did tell me he couldn't help me, and he shut me out lots of ways. But I kept coming back for more of that loving feeling he'd been able to bestow. Having never had it before I needed it. And my depression now is because I can't seem to keep the feeling of loving for myself, the feeling I'm worth loving. You know, loving actions don't do everything, me being a good person and feeling love and caring for others isn't enough, I need to feel love for me too. I don't know how to do that without getting it from someplace. It's why parents get the empty-nest syndrome, I think. You spend all these years loving your children and putting them first, then suddenly they don't need you anymore, and you realize you never worked on love for yourself, a lifetime love.
Anyway, I had an absolutely horrible nightmare dream last night. It was so bad and it said so much and I was tempted to turn on the light and write it all out but I honestly was afraid because I knew it wouldn't do any good unless I posted it and got help with it, but I also knew it was so gruesome that it'd be a terrible trigger for lots of people so I promptly went and forgot it.
It's too bad, I should've gone ahead and posted it with a trigger warning, right away, I can't do the dream diary thing, it's too much like being alone. I have terrible issues with being alone.
Posted by sunny10 on April 29, 2005, at 12:04:50
In reply to Re: Alesta and Sunny » Susan47, posted by Susan47 on April 29, 2005, at 11:31:19
I know that I've been guilty of "not letting in the knowledge" sometimes... Like the other day, I was talking to my SO about how he is not drinking the hard alcohol anymore because he becomes aggressive. He was saying that he doesn't even miss it, and that he's not going to the liquor store to buy it, 'cause if it sits in his house, he'll drink it. I thought that was pretty great, but then I let the comment, "but I'll still go out once in a blue moon with Mike, or somebody, and kick it up, maybe" slide by without commenting on it.
And I should have commented on it right then and there. But I kinda disassociated it out of fear of confrontation (sigh, the usual cause) and now that is has been remembered (two days later), it will be harder to GO BACK to that comment in order to talk it out.
But I have to. Because I really think that the reason it was easier for him to quit the rum and tequila is because he was so shocked at his own behavior. If he starts it up again, what's it going to take to shock him NEXT time??? Will it finally take killing or being killed in a barfight??? It just sounds stupid to me to go out with the intent of getting drunk when you know it controls YOU more than you control IT, and I want him to think about that, so I've got to talk to him about it.
I think sometimes that it is hard to ignore the body language we read from them ("I think you're attractive and really great") while they are using the words we don't want to hear. "I can't help you", "I'm planning on getting drunk again sometime in the future", whatever it is we don't want to hear...Our brains are so busy assimilating the visual clues, that we neglect the audio, I think...
Well, I just learned that I better GET BETTER at giving the audio/verbal conversation A LOT more attention...
Your last post, Suze, brought this to mind for me... maybe it's true for you also??
Posted by Susan47 on April 29, 2005, at 22:40:46
In reply to Re: Alesta and Suze, posted by sunny10 on April 29, 2005, at 12:04:50
No, that's not true for me with my ex anyway. Well that's because I was never physically attracted to him in the first place, god that sounds awful, doesn't it? Yuch, I had to be pretty screwed up to do that. Man I wasn't really physically attracted to the first ex- either, nor most of my boyfriends. Oh jesus I'm not going here. Bye.
This is the end of the thread.
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