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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 26 to 50 of 59. Go back in thread:
Posted by TofuEmmy on April 14, 2005, at 10:08:06
In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives » TofuEmmy, posted by henrietta on April 13, 2005, at 20:06:06
Hen - I think we are in complete agreement. It's not the civility rules themselves, it's how they are used sometimes.
I actually find myself missing the rule against making people feel hurt when I'm on other websites. I LIKE that one a lot - it's just a really difficult one to enforce. And it's a hard one to follow, especially within a population of people who have been hurt so often themselves.
emmy
Posted by henrietta on April 14, 2005, at 10:41:23
In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives » henrietta, posted by TofuEmmy on April 14, 2005, at 10:08:06
I was just thinking the same thing. I like some sort of rules about civility; I've seen places where there are none and it's awful! And just now I was thinking that I can't see any realistic way to prevent the rules from being circumvented. I think I'm coming to the conclusion that I, at least, must accept that even civility rules can't make a place truly safe.
Once I accept that, I may be less apt to become upset when I see people being hurt within the guidelines, and the less upset I get the less likely I am to write hurtful things, myself.
(Can you tell I'm a slow learner?)
hen
Posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 14:58:04
In reply to Re: Zenhussy from the archives, posted by TofuEmmy on April 13, 2005, at 16:08:08
To not say anything on this board about anyone posting over there.
AND to not say anything on the other board about people posting over here.
I've wandered over there on occasion to see what people are up to and I *have* seen negative things there about posters here.
Including some that wouldn't pass the civility guidelines over here.
Not throwing any stones from my glass house - just musing that if the topics never came up we'd all be happier.
peace?
Posted by All Done on April 15, 2005, at 15:26:10
In reply to Re: How about if we all agree » TofuEmmy, posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 14:58:04
> To not say anything on this board about anyone posting over there.
>
> AND to not say anything on the other board about people posting over here.
>
> I've wandered over there on occasion to see what people are up to and I *have* seen negative things there about posters here.
>
> Including some that wouldn't pass the civility guidelines over here.
>
> Not throwing any stones from my glass house - just musing that if the topics never came up we'd all be happier.
>
> peace?
AuntieMel,I wouldn't have posted any differently if you replaced zen's name with Dinah's, who isn't blocked from this site and, and far as I can see, doesn't post over there. I didn't really feel that it was initially an issue about the two sites. Rather, I saw it as an issue between two people.
That said, I do understand about wanting to minimize conflict between the two sites.
Take care,
Laurie
Posted by Jai Narayan on April 15, 2005, at 15:56:19
In reply to Re: How about if we all agree » TofuEmmy, posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 14:58:04
I can't help it I wanna know.
curiosity you how that story goes...
so someone on Babble was talked about on PC?
is that the gist?I know you are above this gossip but I'm not.
so lowly am I that I gotta know...email me if you must
actually love to hear from you in any case.
Ja*
Posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 18:08:36
In reply to okay you've got my interest who, what was said?, posted by Jai Narayan on April 15, 2005, at 15:56:19
Posted by TofuEmmy on April 15, 2005, at 18:11:27
In reply to Re: How about if we all agree » TofuEmmy, posted by AuntieMel on April 15, 2005, at 14:58:04
"How about if we all agree » TofuEmmy" ??
TofuEmmy was the 4th person to enter this revived thread. Why this is addressed to me, I dunno. It makes me feel accused of starting a raucous.
Peace sounds great. I was already there.
Although I'll leave it up to you to notify the 7000 posters at PsychCentral. Good luck with that.
Em, ever the wisea$$
Posted by Jai Narayan on April 16, 2005, at 5:59:27
In reply to okay you've got my interest who, what was said?, posted by Jai Narayan on April 15, 2005, at 15:56:19
I've got a novel idea.
we continue with "freedom of speech" but only say
nice things about each other?
I know I'd like to see something nice written about me on PC.
Heck I'd like to see something nice about me here on babble..okay I did digress
Personally I like and admire many people on both sites.
My comment does not address the problem of getting hurt by a poster from one board or another.
how can we say that without offending someone?
Ja*
when I get hurt I just stand there stunned...
in life and on these boards.
I just can't believe it.
Posted by All Done on April 16, 2005, at 8:52:29
In reply to Re: How about if we all agree » AuntieMel, posted by All Done on April 15, 2005, at 15:26:10
I'm still confused. When did this become about Babble vs. PsychCentral? Or maybe why is a better question.
Posted by TofuEmmy on April 16, 2005, at 10:08:23
In reply to Re: How about if we all agree, posted by All Done on April 16, 2005, at 8:52:29
Because TofuEmmy is involved?
It has nothing to do with websites. It had to do with Toph saying something nice about his friend. I thought it would have turned into a thread of people waving "hi" to her. That would have made lots of people to smile.
I'm as confoooosed as you are Lala.
Worn out em
Posted by Jai Narayan on April 16, 2005, at 10:47:35
In reply to Re: How about if we all agree » All Done, posted by TofuEmmy on April 16, 2005, at 10:08:23
Posted by Toph on April 16, 2005, at 17:13:37
In reply to Re: How about if we all agree » All Done, posted by TofuEmmy on April 16, 2005, at 10:08:23
That's right em. I actually prefer the format here. The participants on both boards are mostly kind and supportive. Competition between the two boards seems silly to me. We're two ships on the same ocean. It's regrettable that my post led to such rancor.
Posted by AuntieMel on April 16, 2005, at 17:20:18
In reply to Re: How about if we all agree, posted by TofuEmmy on April 15, 2005, at 18:11:27
I thought you would be least likely to get mad at me?
Or maybe I just clicked the wrong button.
Posted by Dinah on April 16, 2005, at 18:28:14
In reply to Re: I sent it to you 'cause » TofuEmmy, posted by AuntieMel on April 16, 2005, at 17:20:18
Chuckle.
That strategy has led me to more than a little distress, Mel. Addressing a post in the middle of a storm to the person who I knew and liked a lot and assumed would take it in the spirit it was intended. (In that they would realize that I *only* addressed it to them because I knew and liked them dearly and thought it would be safe to address them.)
I do not recommend that. Strangely the unwritten subtext is almost never ever understood in my experience and it led to one acrimonious friendship breakup and a few tense moments in other relationships before I realized that I'd better not use that technique any longer.
I still make a mistake now and then and use it, and still get the same results.
No one *ever* thanks me for liking and trusting them enough to address my comments to them. :)
Go figure.
(So, Mel, if I ever address a comment to you in the middle of a storm, realize I've just forgotten that that technique has never worked well for me.)
Forgive the aside. Your post jut brought up sad, yet self deprecating, memories for me.
Posted by gardenergirl on April 17, 2005, at 0:32:20
In reply to Re: I sent it to you 'cause » AuntieMel, posted by Dinah on April 16, 2005, at 18:28:14
If I wanted to "wave" over to PC, would I be waving at myself? And golly, if I had both windows open at the same time, could I wave back at myself?
Ouch, I think I hurt my brain. Oh well, through the looking glass I go.
gg
Posted by Toph on April 17, 2005, at 7:36:10
In reply to Re: I sent it to you 'cause » TofuEmmy, posted by AuntieMel on April 16, 2005, at 17:20:18
> I thought you would be least likely to get mad at me?
>
> Or maybe I just clicked the wrong button.
>
>
I wasn't addressing my post to anyone in particular and I am definitely not mad at anyone. I'm sorry if you got that impression Mel.
Posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 13:20:17
In reply to Re: I sent it to you 'cause, posted by Toph on April 17, 2005, at 7:36:10
It was nice to see you here though, Toph.
Posted by AuntieMel on April 17, 2005, at 14:03:43
In reply to Re: I sent it to you 'cause, posted by Toph on April 17, 2005, at 7:36:10
I know you meant no harm, Toph.
It's just that some things are best left unsaid.
And that's about all I feel free to post. Anything more may make this continue longer than it should.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 17, 2005, at 14:38:32
In reply to Re: up way too late, drunk, and digging through old..., posted by Toph on April 12, 2005, at 15:52:31
> You meet the nicest people when you go on . Well, PB's loss is PC's gain. She has been so nice to me there that I had to see what she was like here years ago. Seems that she was nice here, too.
The way Zen was treated here was absolutely appalling. As much as I want too I can't see any other reason for what was done to her than that she was a personal target. I'm glad she's a moderator at another site, poetic justice.
Posted by Toph on April 17, 2005, at 15:54:36
In reply to Re: I sent it to you 'cause, posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 13:20:17
Posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 16:11:17
In reply to Mostly just an occasional voyeur, love (nm) » Susan47, posted by Toph on April 17, 2005, at 15:54:36
Mmmm, see now, this is bad, 'cause you just bring out the naughty in me. You do, I just want to flirt my socks off, or maybe yours, or maybe both. It's harmless, right?
Posted by Toph on April 17, 2005, at 16:56:10
In reply to Re: Mostly just an occasional voyeur, love » Toph, posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 16:11:17
> Mmmm, see now, this is bad, 'cause you just bring out the naughty in me. You do, I just want to flirt my socks off, or maybe yours, or maybe both. It's harmless, right?
Yeah, but I have difficulty with those damn pantyhose.
Posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 17:28:23
In reply to Re: Mostly just love » Susan47, posted by Toph on April 17, 2005, at 16:56:10
Ah, whose, yours or mine?
I try not to wear panthose.
Too constricting, you know, and too unsexy. So you know what I like, right? I like, I LOVE garters, but unfortunately opportunities to wear them don't happen everyday, I mean, how many women nowadays wear good, sexy dresses? You know? People see you wearing them and immediately become suspect, like, hmhm, what's She After ... you know? And maybe I am, and maybe I'm not, it all depends now, doesn't it? Does it automatically make me a slut because I like to dress my own way?
Sorry, I went off on a tangent.
Posted by Dinah on April 17, 2005, at 17:30:01
In reply to Re: up way too late, drunk, and digging through old... » Toph, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 17, 2005, at 14:38:32
Zenhussy helped ease a transition back to Babble for me after I had made a complete *ss of myself. She reached a hand of kindness to me when most people were afraid to do so for fear of having me explode before their very eyes.
She's always been there when there was a major upset in my life.
I will always remember her many kindnesses to me with gratitude.
Posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 19:48:45
In reply to Re: up way too late, drunk, and digging through old... » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Dinah on April 17, 2005, at 17:30:01
It sounds like Zenhussy is a woman of many superlative qualities, not the least of which was the ability to pee people off ... but that's not always a bad thing, IMO. What sucks is the hurt when you do pee them off. For me, anyway.
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