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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 28. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by saw on February 26, 2005, at 0:53:07
Hi everyone
I simply do not have words to describe how I have missed you all.
I am still in hospital but got a day's reprieve for "good behaviour". I will share all the details when I am back at work which should be in about 2 weeks.
I think about everyone so often and wish I could have shared my darkest times with you.
I will catch up soon enough.
Lots of love to all my friends. Lots and lots and lots of love and missing you all, so very much.
Sabrina
Posted by alexandra_k on February 26, 2005, at 0:55:20
In reply to A brief hello to all, posted by saw on February 26, 2005, at 0:53:07
Aw hon, I didn't know you were in hospital...
Glad to hear you are doing okay.
Missed you too.> I think about everyone so often and wish I could have shared my darkest times with you.
There is plenty of time for that ;-)
Hope you feel better soon.
Posted by partlycloudy on February 26, 2005, at 6:06:33
In reply to A brief hello to all, posted by saw on February 26, 2005, at 0:53:07
Sabrina, I hope you're back soon and feeling better. We've all missed you.
take good care,
pc
Posted by TamaraJ on February 26, 2005, at 8:21:24
In reply to A brief hello to all, posted by saw on February 26, 2005, at 0:53:07
We are missing you very much. Be well, and take good, good care of yourself. The sun will shine again please believe that. My thoughts are with you Sabrina.
Tamara
Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2005, at 8:35:59
In reply to A brief hello to all, posted by saw on February 26, 2005, at 0:53:07
Hi Sabrina.
(((Sabrina)))
Take care of yourself, we'll be here when you're ready. I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by Jai Narayan on February 26, 2005, at 10:32:30
In reply to A brief hello to all, posted by saw on February 26, 2005, at 0:53:07
I look forward to your return to PB.
you have been missed.
my best to you
Ja*
Posted by AuntieMel on February 26, 2005, at 10:53:18
In reply to A brief hello to all, posted by saw on February 26, 2005, at 0:53:07
Take good care of yourself. We miss you. And please, please if at all possible don't go back to work too early. I knew I wasn't ready but I didn't have the strength to resist. I wish I had.
Only you can tell when you are ready. Trust your instincts.
hugs and kisses.
Posted by ed_uk on February 26, 2005, at 13:25:06
In reply to Re: A brief hello to all » saw, posted by AuntieMel on February 26, 2005, at 10:53:18
Hi Sabrina!
I hope you're getting good treatment in hospital :-) I hope you saw how many posts there have been on 'parents' today!
Ed x
Posted by Broken on February 26, 2005, at 23:23:37
In reply to A brief hello to all, posted by saw on February 26, 2005, at 0:53:07
So Glad to hear from you. Please take care of yourself.
Chris
Posted by anastasia56 on February 27, 2005, at 0:18:38
In reply to A brief hello to all, posted by saw on February 26, 2005, at 0:53:07
thank you for stepping online to let us know you are doing ok. had been awhile since your last post. sending mega positive vibes mixed with some healing thoughts. come back when you are ready but we miss you big time. you are one of the big boulder rocks that hold this place together.
(((((saw)))))
Posted by jay on February 27, 2005, at 7:24:54
In reply to A brief hello to all, posted by saw on February 26, 2005, at 0:53:07
Hope you are doing well Sabrina...stay in there and fight this dang thing..you will win. It is afraid of people who stand up to it.
Jay
Posted by AdaGrace on February 27, 2005, at 8:04:24
In reply to A brief hello to all, posted by saw on February 26, 2005, at 0:53:07
I have been thinking of you a lot lately. Wishing you well.
Wishing you peace.
Wishing you kindness, love, and tenderness.I look forward to your return.
AdaGrace
Posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 6:05:03
In reply to A brief hello to all, posted by saw on February 26, 2005, at 0:53:07
Hi all - I am posting from hospital. I am doing ok. This morning was my third ECT. It leaves me very bewildered and crying bitterly but I am sure that when I have completed all 6 treatments that the good benefits will show.
At the moment I have just had physiotherapy and my back and shoulders feel deliciously relaxed.
My wrist is healing and the stitches will come out by the end of the week. I am very lucky that I made it though this one and I will be left with a nasty scar.
I have decided to receive therapy while i am in hospital. I really don't want to go through this again.
I am lonely though, and I miss you all and I wish I could have kept up with everything. It's going to take me forever to catch up.
I love you all
Thanks for remembering me.Sabrina
Posted by partlycloudy on February 28, 2005, at 6:48:12
In reply to It's me!, posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 6:05:03
You're safe, you're getting therapy and treatment, and you're able to keep in touch with us. That is fantastic news, Sabrina. I want to apologize if my stubborn awkwardness contributed in any way to your unhappiness. I don't think I was able see past the end of my nose to realize anything was amiss with you. Can you forgive me?
pc
Posted by Broken on February 28, 2005, at 7:18:21
In reply to Re: It's me! » saw, posted by partlycloudy on February 28, 2005, at 6:48:12
Again, it's just really really good to hear from you. Take care of yourself, and I look forward to your return
Chris
Posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 7:27:52
In reply to Re: It's me! » saw, posted by partlycloudy on February 28, 2005, at 6:48:12
You know, before I read you reply I was bristling already because I was thinking to myself "how can you carry on as if nothing has happened" and I was so incredibly hurt. I wrote you a long letter at the time which I did not send and don't know if I ever will.
So, since I am always so scrupolously (sp?) honest, yes I was very hurt. You were my first closest on line friend and you will always have a very special, unique place in my heart. I am finally able to lay my hurt to rest now with your apology.
Thank you for that, it means a lot. Of course I forgive you. I would not want it any other way. I also hope that you will understand and realise that no matter where I post, you are my friend and you will always be very very special to me. I do not play favorites, pretenses or have preferences.
I am missing you pc. Really I am. Thanks again for not forever hating me.
I will have a long, long update when I am back at work.
Sabrina
PS. My memory has become, uh .... somewhat delicate, since ECT and for the life of me I cannot remember my user name and password at psychcentral.
May I ask you to pop a line there that I am ok and missing everyone and will be back on line in about 2 to 3 weeks.
Thanks my friend.
I am at this pc for a little longer if you want to reply.
Lots of love again - and thanks again for forgiving me, and for apologising.
Love ya!!
Posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 7:30:53
In reply to Re: A brief hello to all » saw, posted by AdaGrace on February 27, 2005, at 8:04:24
Ada - I am missing you heaps. I think about you so much and worry about you just as much. Look after yourself my special friend. OK?
Love me
Posted by AdaGrace on February 28, 2005, at 8:06:11
In reply to Re: A brief hello to all » AdaGrace, posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 7:30:53
For the first time in my life, I feel unconditional caring towards another human being that I have no biological bond with. You. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to hear from you. It's incredibly soothing.
I have to admit. I had no idea what was going on with you, because I was terribly wrapped up in my own turmoil. I know I was distant towards you, as well you know from my e-mails. I was affraid of getting too close, and losing again. However, someone told me recently that this saying is so very true. "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." And that friend said to me, "If we never speak or see each other again, you and I both will have cherished memories of our time together and that cannot be taken away. We are better people for having met each other." And no, Sabrina, this was not the man I was deeply involved with that has caused my heart wrenching pain.
I feel this way towards you. Of course, I would be deeply saddened to have never heard from you again, and am so wonderfully glad that I have now. But I know inside that I am a better person for knowing you, and look forward to the time when we can talk more often again.
Things are so foggy for my sometimes, and I know I have cause you pain by not being there and being supportive enough. My own selfish ways have caused others to shy away.
I am sorry for being scared. I am sorry for being distant. And most of all, I am sorry for not hearing what you were saying. I am utterly embarassed and overwhelmingly regretful that I was so wrapped up inside myself that I didn't even know something happened to you after the incident over the holidays. How could I have not know? How could I be so selfish? Others pain is no less important than my own!!! My own self destructive ways are not just hurting myself, they are hurting others. I WILL try harder. I will try to be there for you when you need me. I promise you I will try the best I can to help when you need it. You are a beautiful soul and one that I cherish and hope to never be without.
(((((((Sabrina)))))))
I hope I wasn't too sappy. I hope I wasn't too revealing, and most of all, I hope WE are still okay.
Thinking of you so very much,
AdaGrace
Posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 8:20:18
In reply to Re: Very Personal note for you SAW » saw, posted by AdaGrace on February 28, 2005, at 8:06:11
Listen, I am the queen of sap.
Your words mean more than I can possible express. OF COURSE WE ARE OKAY!! (I had to shout that.) There was never anything wrong with us to begin with. You needed some space and I was happy to (try) and give that to you. You were not selfish, you were just dealing with things in your life at the time, in the best way you knew how.
I guess the same goes for me.
Once I am back at work and I have more freedom on the internet, bearing in mind your limited internet usage (if it is still that way), I will catch up with you. IN the mean time, I am thrilled that we are able to pick up where we left off. You cannot imagine how often I think of you and Mercedes.
It really is ok to be wrapped in your own turmoil from time to time. Heavens, that is what got me into hospital in the first place.I did not shy away and you have not caused me pain. I missed you - that is without a doubt, but you did not hurt me. I knew that you would be here for me when the time is right and when you are ready. You have always been supportive. Oh and never, ever ever apologise for being scared. I do understand because I have felt the same and have often squashed my own apology.
WE are very much okay and NO you weren't too sappy. Your post touched me deeply and I appreciate it very much.
Love you stacks my friend.
Me
Posted by partlycloudy on February 28, 2005, at 8:23:23
In reply to Re: It's me! » partlycloudy, posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 7:27:52
And my eyes are stinging with welcome tears of gratitude at your forgiveness. What can I say - a silly email written in the heat of the moment, powered by a large martini. Those days are behind me as I can't continue to jeopardize my life and my fragile friendships with such a destructive force active in my life. See the substance board for more on THAT. Crushedout and I are going to try tag-team sobriety, and I've been practicing to get in shape :)
Of course I will put a note on the other site to keep everyone up to date.
love and extra loving hugs,
pc
Posted by ed_uk on February 28, 2005, at 8:39:44
In reply to Re: It's me! » partlycloudy, posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 7:27:52
Hi Sabrina!
It's great to hear from you :-) I have been asking vwoolf about you in every mail. I really hope the ECT helps. What treatment will you start after finishing ECT? I wondered whether you'd ever tried lofepramine (Emdalen). I take lofepramine and find it good for depression.
>PS. My memory has become, uh .... somewhat delicate, since ECT and for the life of me I cannot remember my user name and password at psychcentral.
I think it could be sabrina_saw?
ED xxxxxxxxxxx
Posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 8:44:53
In reply to I'm no good at this » saw, posted by partlycloudy on February 28, 2005, at 8:23:23
I am am smiling that the original email was written under the influence of a martini. Smiling because I had been wondering at that time how that was going. It certainly explains behaviour of yours which just did not resonate with me. NOW - FORGOTTEN - GONE - DONE WITH. It never happened.
(I have had almost 2 weeks of sobriety. The most in 2 years. Feels a bit strange.)
PC, I am immensely relieved that you are ok with it. I had begun to enjoy the other site and didn't want to stop posting there. I have different friends at each site and different needs are met by each site.
Thanks for letting them know for me.
I can't wait until I can communicate privately with you again.
Lots of love and hugs.
S
Posted by TofuEmmy on February 28, 2005, at 8:47:09
In reply to Re: It's me! » partlycloudy, posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 7:27:52
SWEEETIE PIE!!!! I MISS YOU!!! :-) Hey, that face looks funny. It's sooooo texty. ;-)
Your id over there is Sabrina_saw. You'll have to remember your password on your own!
I'm glad you are safe now, and getting the care you need. Wish I could give you hugs and share my chocolate.
Email me sometime pooky!
Auntie Em
emilysimon2005 at yahoo
Posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 9:11:05
In reply to Re: It's me! » saw, posted by TofuEmmy on February 28, 2005, at 8:47:09
Not winning on my user name. I have tried a couple with no luck. I will reset when I am back at work.
Thanks PC for popping a line there for me.
Tofu - you are a darling sweetie for writing what you did. I LIKE the nick name pooky!!
To EVERYONE who has popped me a line - thank you all so much. I feel missed, loved and needed. And wow knows, I have not felt that for an eon.
vwoolf - I am thinking of here you too my friend!!
Oh, and no thanks on the chocolate TofuEmmy, I'll have some mineral water instead.
Love me
PS If I have forgotten to point out anyone individually, please forgive me. I love you all, miss you all, think of you all and continue to need you all.
Always
S
Posted by gardenergirl on February 28, 2005, at 9:34:41
In reply to Re: It's me! » TofuEmmy, posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 9:11:05
Well shoot. When I tried to reply to your first post on this thread, posting was turned off temporarily. I'm so glad to hear more from you and that you are getting therapy and treatment. You sound like you are doing okay, all things considered, and that's good.
Thanks for updating us.
((((sabrina))))
gg
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