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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cass on January 17, 2005, at 1:56:37
Back when I was on ADs, my sex drive went away, and it took awhile to come back even after I stopped. In the past year it came back with a vengeance. WOW. I'm horny all the time (Can you get a PBC for saying horny? Hmmm, I can't find that list of unacceptable words.)
It's nice to be horny all the time, but it does make me more aware of aging. Being horny makes me feel young and nubile. Then I see some wrinkles in the mirror, and it doesn't match the way I feel. I'm sad about looking older.
Having a strong sex drive also makes me feel more vulnerable. When my sex drive was gone I felt very mature and in control. I didn't feel like jelly around men. It was sort of empowering. Now, I don't feel so in control. Realistically, I'm not out of control except in my thoughts, fantasies and desires.
I'm married. My husband is sexy, but right now he has some extra weight on his belly. I'm much more turned on by him when it's gone, and that's frustrating.I imagine some of you have lost your sex drives due to ADs. How do you feel about having it or not having it? How does it affect your self-image?
Posted by just plain jane on January 17, 2005, at 10:38:29
In reply to What does your sex drive do for you?, posted by Cass on January 17, 2005, at 1:56:37
nothing.
It used to get me into stupid situations. It was burning the wrong kind of fuel for twenty three years.
I put it in park a year ago and the rest of the nasty fuel having been burned up idling, it has now ceased to function.
Don't know if i'll ever want it to run again.
It's not the drugs.
If you are referring to physical appearance as self image, having my sex drive idling was about the best time. I am still content with my appearance, even with drive shut down.
I wear no makeup, my long hair down or in braids, jeans, loose flannel shirts with the sleeves rolled above my elbows, hikers, old ratty basketball shoes I painted silver, lace up steel toed sawyer's boots or my knee high orange rubber & kevlar steel toed Husqvarna winter sawyer's boots, with the cozy felt packs in them.
My self image is, and has always been, functional. I look functional.
Boy, do i have the observers fooled!
But, danmit, I still get more "seductive" (lmao) looks from men than I care too.
Sex is reallllly icky to me right now. Seems like it is the only thing people are really thinking about... sex. The ulterior motive for adulthood.
still braying jane
Posted by cubic_me on January 17, 2005, at 12:46:31
In reply to What does your sex drive do for you?, posted by Cass on January 17, 2005, at 1:56:37
It's not doing anything for me at the moment, except making things difficult with my boyfriend. I like sex, when I can be bothered, but I'd rather go to sleep early. I sound like an old fogey and I'm only in my early 20s.
When my boyfriend or other guys give me 'one of those looks' or chat me up, I feel flattered and it boosts my self confidence, but I don't actually want sex.
I'd like it this way if I wasn't with a man I love. If I was single it would be great to not want sex all the time (like I used to).
Posted by alexandra_k on January 17, 2005, at 15:15:54
In reply to What does your sex drive do for you?, posted by Cass on January 17, 2005, at 1:56:37
Hmm. Mine has been down for a bit after getting a contraceptive injection. Might be just starting to come back :-) Makes my life easier without it because I am single really.
But when it is there... I kind of have an 'arrangement' with someone. Not sure whether it is good for me emotionally or not. Probably is when I am in the mood :-)
But I guess I would prefer not to do that. If I didn't have a drive I guess I wouldn't even want to.
I don't think it really changes my image of me.
I am fairly 'functional' too. No makeup, jeans and t-shirts. Not a flirt. Even when I have a drive it doesn't change any of that for me. Well, ok so maybe I flirt a little more. But I could happily leave that.Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sex when I am in the mood. But I wouldn't mind if I wasn't in the mood. I imagine the situation would be different if I wasn't 'single'.
Posted by smokeymadison on January 17, 2005, at 16:20:47
In reply to What does your sex drive do for you?, posted by Cass on January 17, 2005, at 1:56:37
i had no sex drive while on paxil. but wellbutrin seems to increase it, or perhaps just make it normal. i find sex an anxiety-reducer, usually. i am in a relationship and we both could stand to lose some weight. we both joke about how hornier (is that a word?) we would be if we lost weight. but, seriously, we don't need to be any more horny.
self-image? when my sex drive is high i have mixed emotions. sometimes i feel like a slut (less since i am in a relationship) and sometimes i feel very happy and just fulfilled. life is good.
SM
Posted by Angela2 on January 17, 2005, at 17:27:56
In reply to What does your sex drive do for you?, posted by Cass on January 17, 2005, at 1:56:37
Cass,
right now I am not easily aroused sexually because of the medication I am on. I feel like it is a double edged sword for some of the reasons you mentioned. I feel more in control this way. I think it has to do with the intensity of my emotions. Because off my meds my emotions are very strong, and so when I am horny, I am very horny. I have always associated horniness with being taken advantage of by guys probably because of my past relationships, and so that is probably why I don't like the overwhelming feeling of it now. Or maybe it's because when I'm horny I feel other intense emotions too like Love. And so it's easier to get your feelings hurt or to feel rejected after sex. I also feel more depressed and anxious too off my meds and I don't like that feeling. This is a good thread. I'm glad you started it!-Angela2
Posted by just plain jane on January 17, 2005, at 23:28:55
In reply to Re: What does your sex drive do for you?, posted by Angela2 on January 17, 2005, at 17:27:56
Wow!! That is also true for me, all of it, to certain degrees.
Before mine completely stopped.
Posted by crushedout on January 18, 2005, at 22:49:14
In reply to What does your sex drive do for you?, posted by Cass on January 17, 2005, at 1:56:37
Posted by TofuEmmy on January 19, 2005, at 7:40:08
In reply to What does your sex drive do for you?, posted by Cass on January 17, 2005, at 1:56:37
It gets me in trouble.
Posted by Susan47 on January 19, 2005, at 10:55:20
In reply to What does your sex drive do for you?, posted by Cass on January 17, 2005, at 1:56:37
Oh Cass, I've been in that state for over a year and it's HELL for me, I self-gratify and I've got to tell you four times before I go to sleep is what I have to do now. I think I'm using it for releasing tension.. so embarrassing 'cause I'm having trouble conjuring up what I need to get started... 'cause there's no one in my life that makes it really hard... might have to get a peek at my ex-T to get fodder for the imagination again ... then I was going out really sexy and the guys that came onto me, well let's just say that unless there's some kind of relationship in it there's no point in having sex so it's Frustrating to the max ... I feel wasted, I was at my sexiest and there was no one there and I was wasted, I get a feeling you know how Sad that is.
Posted by Susan47 on January 19, 2005, at 11:01:06
In reply to Re: What does your sex drive do for you? » Cass, posted by just plain jane on January 17, 2005, at 10:38:29
I'll bet you have breasts. Because if a woman has breasts, it doesn't matter what the rest of her looks like, a man will look. You said men still look at you.
I've got breasts for the first time in my life, it just kind of happened recently. And they're actually quite nice, I'm surprised. But what I've noticed is, that's the first place they look, now.
Posted by Cass on January 19, 2005, at 12:45:26
In reply to What does your sex drive do for you?, posted by Cass on January 17, 2005, at 1:56:37
Thanks for responding everyone. I guess I'm not alone in my mixed feelings about being horny.
Right now it's just exacerbating my discomfort with aging. I just don't feel like I should have sagging and wrinkles, who does?
I'm getting that turkey skin problem on my neck, and my eyelids are sagging a little. Yuck!! That's not me!!
Posted by just plain jane on January 19, 2005, at 19:05:28
In reply to Do you Have Breasts? » just plain jane, posted by Susan47 on January 19, 2005, at 11:01:06
Yeah, I've got breasts.
I got tired of men talking to them by the time I was sixteen, about six months after they boobed up. Since then, it's one of the bitter pills in life.
But even at my cruddiest, huge shirt, tight sport bra which also smooshes and flattens, instead of that separate and lift bullsyt, even then I get those "hello baby?" looks. Maybe they think my looking them in the eye when I talk to them is a come on.
Lord only knows; they're men.
Can't live with 'em, can't stuff 'em in a sack.
just plain jane
Posted by Susan47 on January 19, 2005, at 20:02:36
In reply to Re: Do you Have Breasts? » Susan47, posted by just plain jane on January 19, 2005, at 19:05:28
Well, actually, I find that men seem to appreciate being looked in the eye when you talk to them. Don't know why, but I guess we're saying, "You're important, the mirror's not as important to me as you are."or something like that, but looking guys in the eye seems to be a real turn-on for them.. not sexually necessarily, I just mean intellectually or something.. like that.
Posted by Susan47 on January 19, 2005, at 20:04:43
In reply to Re: What does your sex drive do for you?, posted by Cass on January 19, 2005, at 12:45:26
Have you tried Clarins extra firming creams? It's fabulous stuff. Whenever I feel wrinkled and saggy I have two solutions and I try to remember them: lots of body creams, and EAT MORE .. you know, to plump out those wrinkles. I think it was Ava Gabor who said that a woman should add ten pounds for every ten years after thirty (or was it forty?)
Posted by Cass on January 19, 2005, at 21:53:59
In reply to Re: What does your sex drive do for you? » Cass, posted by Susan47 on January 19, 2005, at 20:04:43
Thanks for the tip about the Clarins, Susan. I'll give it a try.
I gained 10 pounds over the holidays, and I did notice that the lines under my eyes are less pronounced, but I've worked hard to keep weight off. I like fitting into smaller clothing too.
Posted by Susan47 on January 21, 2005, at 0:01:44
In reply to Re: What does your sex drive do for you? » Susan47, posted by Cass on January 19, 2005, at 21:53:59
I like looking smaller too, well, I used to think I did, when I did, but I was always cold and now I've gained about ten fat pounds since I quit my Prozac... and I quite like having breasts and a bum for the first time in ages.
Posted by PhoenixGirl on January 21, 2005, at 0:14:29
In reply to What does your sex drive do for you?, posted by Cass on January 17, 2005, at 1:56:37
It hurts me incredibly to have so much of it gone.
This is the end of the thread.
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