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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by alexandra_k on December 12, 2004, at 3:46:05
In reply to smoke.., posted by justyourlaugh on December 12, 2004, at 0:58:44
Yeah, we don't do the health insurance thing here. There is just the public system unless you can afford to pay for private care. If you have been sexually abused you can get a subsidised number of sessions through ACC (who pays out for all that kind of stuff, and work related accidents to stop people sueing each other all the time).
But yeah, it is hard to get care once you have the BPD diagnosis. Nobody wants to touch you with a four foot pole.
Posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 7:44:08
In reply to How many Borderlines in the house???, posted by alexandra_k on December 11, 2004, at 20:17:51
i used to have histrionic personality disorder, if that counts. it can be pretty similar to borderline..i did the self-mutilation thing (can't believe i just said that). i basically acted really seductive with everybody, needed a lot of attention, and spent a lot of time on superficial things like my appearance and trying to seduce people. i found it very enjoyable. that was pretty much all i cared about. sad.
now it's totally gone. i just worked through all my issues myself. (it probably stems from my abusive childhood.)
amy :)
Posted by GeishaGirl on December 12, 2004, at 12:19:23
In reply to Re: How many Borderlines in the house??? » alexandra_k, posted by alesta on December 12, 2004, at 7:44:08
I once got the labeled by a psychiatrist with "Personality Disorder, NOS" (NOS means "not otherwise specified"). I guess that I was so special at the time that he couldn't pick one type of personality disorder that completely described me...I like being special...humm...I can't remember right now how many different diagnoses I've had...I may count them all, and see if there's a catagory for this in the Guiness Book of World Records :)
Geisha Girl
> i used to have histrionic personality disorder, if that counts. it can be pretty similar to borderline..i did the self-mutilation thing (can't believe i just said that). i basically acted really seductive with everybody, needed a lot of attention, and spent a lot of time on superficial things like my appearance and trying to seduce people. i found it very enjoyable. that was pretty much all i cared about. sad.
>
> now it's totally gone. i just worked through all my issues myself. (it probably stems from my abusive childhood.)
>
> amy :)
Posted by smokeymadison on December 12, 2004, at 17:36:24
In reply to Re: How many Borderlines in the house???, posted by GeishaGirl on December 12, 2004, at 12:19:23
for all borderlines out there, how were your childhoods? i mean, i have been putting all my pictures in photo albums lately and in just about every one, i look pretty happy. there are only a few where i look sad or ready to cry. i looked like a pretty happy kid (who had terrible parents nevertheless) so what the hell happened?
Posted by alexandra_k on December 12, 2004, at 17:45:45
In reply to a question: childhoods?, posted by smokeymadison on December 12, 2004, at 17:36:24
> for all borderlines out there, how were your childhoods? i mean, i have been putting all my pictures in photo albums lately and in just about every one, i look pretty happy. there are only a few where i look sad or ready to cry. i looked like a pretty happy kid (who had terrible parents nevertheless) so what the hell happened?
Maybe you were good at putting on the happy face and ignoring your 'bad' emotions. My childhood was crap. Got put in a home eventually...
Posted by ghost on December 12, 2004, at 18:09:31
In reply to a question: childhoods?, posted by smokeymadison on December 12, 2004, at 17:36:24
my childhood wasn't horrible. i mean, it wasn't perfect, but i was never abused or called names or anything like that. things were great until i was 10 and my younger sister was born. then i was forced to grow up very fast (when i became introduced as the "built-in babysitter to the world rather than "our oldest" or something like that). i became more of a commodity rather than a member of the family. (sometimes i overexagerrate, I'm sure, but i've always felt this way.) so maybe my perception of things makes me borderline?
it's all complicated.
in short, i know i could've had it a lot worse. and i'm thankful i didn't. for that reason, i wouldn't say i had a "bad" childhood.
ghost
Posted by smokeymadison on December 12, 2004, at 19:12:45
In reply to Re: a question: childhoods?, posted by ghost on December 12, 2004, at 18:09:31
yeah, i had to grow up very fast too. my dad wlked out when i was 10 and my mom considered me an equal from then on. not even an equal, really, but someone to take care of her and all my siblings.
but i did so well up until my senior year in high school and then everything just fell apart. maybe i was holding everything in and then just broke down. but it has been almost 5 years now and i am still "broke". all i can think is that it is going to take some major personality reconstruction to "fix" me. and i am not sure how to go about doing that. i suppose i just need to get into therapy 2x a week. meds don't really seem to be something that is going to be a long term fix.
Posted by sdjeff on December 12, 2004, at 21:40:26
In reply to Re: a question: childhoods? » ghost, posted by smokeymadison on December 12, 2004, at 19:12:45
Hi,
I have BPD traits (SI, emotional lability, etc.) but my doc hasn't actually diagnosed me with BPD. For a while I thought he did, but apparantly my perception was off. I'm being treated for Major Depressive Disorder w/ psychotic features and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Anyway, I digress.
My childhood was good at home. I have good parents and a stable family. Outside of home, especially at school, my life was a living hell from Kindergarten until High School. Even after that it was and continues to be a challenge.
Posted by justyourlaugh on December 12, 2004, at 21:42:23
In reply to Re: a question: childhoods? » ghost, posted by smokeymadison on December 12, 2004, at 19:12:45
i do not concider my childhood was bad...
i remember crying alot..
didnt speak much..
destroyed when i got negative response from mom...
j
Posted by alesta on December 13, 2004, at 5:19:26
In reply to How many Borderlines in the house???, posted by alexandra_k on December 11, 2004, at 20:17:51
now i'm starting to wonder if i was histrionic AND borderline. i had some borderline symptoms, but it could've been symptoms of the histrionic disorder. i do know that i used to be SO confused about who i was and didn't trust my perceptions about ANYTHING (my mother always told me i was wrong, my thoughts and my feelings). isn't that how borderline develops? your parent/s denies you the right to your sense of self, so you lose it? that's what happened to me anyway..caused tons of problems for me.)but i basically worked through my issues (and went in the military) and i was cured at 21. (military was a very bad idea for me, as i had OCD and BDD at the time. i think the sheer trauma of it cured me. going in the military was a very impulsive, nonsensical choice on my part. impulsive, bad choices are typical of borderlines, too, i think.)
sorry this was so long!
amy
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 13, 2004, at 23:56:27
In reply to Re: How many Borderlines in the house??? » alexandra_k, posted by alesta on December 13, 2004, at 5:19:26
I'm really unsure too, I was diagnosed with BPD traits about 10 years ago, upon my 2nd visit with my Pdoc, but by the fourth visit, he had taken it off my chart. (I have my records)
I do think I have some of the symptoms though, I've been diagnosed with P.T.S.D though and some newer schools of thought consider that BPD is a form of P.T.S.D. So, I guess I really don't know is what I'm saying. Why am I saying it? I don't really know that either.
Posted by alesta on December 14, 2004, at 4:52:02
In reply to Re: How many Borderlines in the house???, posted by Gabbix2 on December 13, 2004, at 23:56:27
<Why am I saying it? I don't really know that either.
lol, glad you did, gabbi girl! :-)
there do seem to be an awful lot of borderlines here. i didn't know it was that common.
it's also funny because you can't really see the symptoms of borderlines on babble, know what i mean?..i would've never guessed these ppl were borderline! wonder what kind of 'filter' this place provides. i guess the minimal exposure.
amy
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 14, 2004, at 7:30:08
In reply to Re: How many Borderlines in the house??? » Gabbix2, posted by alesta on December 14, 2004, at 4:52:02
what kind of traits would you be looking for?
I am sure my family has a few borderlines.
I had P.T.S.D. but a few years of EMDR wiped it out.
PTSD was a rock in the river of my personality.
I formed around the traumas.
The incidents became intertwined within my sense of self.
Now that most of the trauma gone I am left with a different pulse and chi vibration.
It's remarkable.
Ja*
Posted by TofuEmmy on December 14, 2004, at 12:24:53
In reply to Re: How many Borderlines in the house???, posted by Gabbix2 on December 13, 2004, at 23:56:27
I've heard the same thing about BPD being considered more a form of PTSD. It's just that the T lasted longer...over years, for instance and during childhood specifically. Because of this, some folks in the APA have been talking about moving it from an Axis II dx to an Axis I dx. I'm not sure where this actitivy stands, but it sure would be a big deal for lots of reasons.
emmy
Posted by vwoolf on December 14, 2004, at 13:20:35
In reply to Re: How many Borderlines in the house??? » Gabbix2, posted by TofuEmmy on December 14, 2004, at 12:24:53
I've never had a diagnosis apart from Depression and Anxiety, but I suspect that BPD is close to where I am - except that I usually manage to control my impulses, rather than act on them. I have been wanting to ask my Pdoc about this for some time, but have never had the courage. How difficult is it to cope with this dx? Would you prefer to know and accept the label, or stay ignorant and just continue in therapy for as long as it takes. I can't quite decide.
Posted by littleone on December 14, 2004, at 15:09:35
In reply to Re: How many Borderlines in the house???, posted by Gabbix2 on December 13, 2004, at 23:56:27
> I do think I have some of the symptoms though, I've been diagnosed with P.T.S.D though and some newer schools of thought consider that BPD is a form of P.T.S.D.
My T was telling me just the other day that he believes BPD, PTSD and DID are all very closely interrelated and revolve around one's identity. He said there is a lot of overlap surrounding them and he wouldn't be surprised if DSM was modified in some future edition.
Posted by corafree on December 14, 2004, at 20:50:26
In reply to Re: How many Borderlines in the house???, posted by Jai Narayan on December 14, 2004, at 7:30:08
I am borderline. PT stress experiences were after leaving the 'nest', and don't know why, but I am only person in fam or origin to have any probs'. corafree
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 14, 2004, at 21:59:32
In reply to BPD and PTSD » Gabbix2, posted by littleone on December 14, 2004, at 15:09:35
> > I do think I have some of the symptoms though, I've been diagnosed with P.T.S.D though and some newer schools of thought consider that BPD is a form of P.T.S.D.
>
> My T was telling me just the other day that he believes BPD, PTSD and DID are all very closely interrelated and revolve around one's identity. He said there is a lot of overlap surrounding them and he wouldn't be surprised if DSM was modified in some future edition.
>
Well I hope it's modified, because the actual definition is fairly nebulous, when I read that I had been diagnosed with "traits" I had no idea what it was, and didn't really concern myself to much. I looked it up in the DSM and thought well, I get anxious pathologically for sure, I've overdosed, I have a problem with S.I and I feel empty a lot.. Okay.When I looked it up on the net and saw how it was portrayed I was devastated! There were things I would just never do labelled as typical borderline symptoms. I think it's terrible that any diagnosis has a stigma, but what if you do have a few of the symptoms but they aren't the kind you take out on other people? Or they aren't to the same degree another Dr considers to be borderline? To have been through trauma, and to suffer another abuse by being slapped with such a loaded label would be soul-killing.
I'm fortunate that my psychiatrist got to know me better and took it off my chart. We all know it's the luck of the draw with psychiatrists though/ What about those who haven't had that good fortune? It's so sad, that following a possible lifetime of abuse, that every professional who sees a copy of their chart sees "BORDERLINE" and their every action will be seen through that filter. As if it's not difficult enough to have yourself recognized as a thinking human being when you have a mental illness no matter what your diagnosis.
Just letting off some steam..
Posted by corafree on December 14, 2004, at 22:19:30
In reply to BPD and PTSD Tofu Emmy, Alesta-long dull » littleone, posted by Gabbix2 on December 14, 2004, at 21:59:32
Yep, I've seen some things that really angered me also, about my so-called borderline disorder and PTSD. I don't know what DID is??? I won't repeat the things I've heard because it would be suggestive to others. Applaud your post cf
> > > I do think I have some of the symptoms though, I've been diagnosed with P.T.S.D though and some newer schools of thought consider that BPD is a form of P.T.S.D.
> >
> > My T was telling me just the other day that he believes BPD, PTSD and DID are all very closely interrelated and revolve around one's identity. He said there is a lot of overlap surrounding them and he wouldn't be surprised if DSM was modified in some future edition.
> >
> Well I hope it's modified, because the actual definition is fairly nebulous, when I read that I had been diagnosed with "traits" I had no idea what it was, and didn't really concern myself to much. I looked it up in the DSM and thought well, I get anxious pathologically for sure, I've overdosed, I have a problem with S.I and I feel empty a lot.. Okay.
>
> When I looked it up on the net and saw how it was portrayed I was devastated! There were things I would just never do labelled as typical borderline symptoms. I think it's terrible that any diagnosis has a stigma, but what if you do have a few of the symptoms but they aren't the kind you take out on other people? Or they aren't to the same degree another Dr considers to be borderline? To have been through trauma, and to suffer another abuse by being slapped with such a loaded label would be soul-killing.
>
> I'm fortunate that my psychiatrist got to know me better and took it off my chart. We all know it's the luck of the draw with psychiatrists though/ What about those who haven't had that good fortune? It's so sad, that following a possible lifetime of abuse, that every professional who sees a copy of their chart sees "BORDERLINE" and their every action will be seen through that filter. As if it's not difficult enough to have yourself recognized as a thinking human being when you have a mental illness no matter what your diagnosis.
>
> Just letting off some steam..
>
>
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 14, 2004, at 23:24:34
In reply to Re: BPD and PTSD Tofu Emmy, Alesta-long dull » Gabbix2, posted by corafree on December 14, 2004, at 22:19:30
Thanks Corafree, sorry you've had to go through it too. My experience was short, prejudice when I was hospitalized, when it was still on my chart, I was honestly baffled, by the treatment I was recieving. I'd never been treated that way before, I won't get into the play by play, but
in the end the on call Doc congratulated me on not becoming violent. I thought "Whuuuh??"
I'm the most non-violent person, I didn't even like to cry too loudly in the hospital because I was afraid it would disturb my roomate.. VIOLENT?I now know (definitively) again w/o getting into details, that they were "braced" for my admittance which was because of a depressive episode) because of the traits diagnosis. I think now if someone had to live through that again and again.. it just well-- I'm preaching to the choir. I'll be quiet now.
Yes something has to be done
Posted by corafree on December 15, 2004, at 1:23:47
In reply to Re: a question: childhoods?, posted by justyourlaugh on December 12, 2004, at 21:42:23
There is something strange about my childhood. Twelve mos. before I was born, my mother's most idolized and loved brother, was killed in a plane crash with his best friend. My first name is my mother's brother and my middle name is my mother's brother's best friend. Well, I was named after both of them.
I have always wondered how my mother felt when I cried in the middle of the night and she came to comfort me ... was it I she comforted, or did she tear up over her lost kindred-spirit brother and his best friend, saying my name, as she was comforted me, walked w/ me, fed me? I know an infant is very in touch with senses. Always wondered - she won't talk about it, and all I've ever learned is that she kept her emotions inside, at their funerals, etc. cf
Posted by justyourlaugh on December 15, 2004, at 10:58:07
In reply to Re: a question: childhoods? » justyourlaugh, posted by corafree on December 15, 2004, at 1:23:47
as far back as i can remember..
i sat back and watched my sister get all the physical love from my mother..
i got the sloppy leftover when she was drunk..
j
Posted by corafree on December 15, 2004, at 13:43:43
In reply to okay okay..a confession., posted by justyourlaugh on December 15, 2004, at 10:58:07
I just called my case manager. He had referred me to Fast Track, for peeps to get back in the work force. Something I have read re: borderlines put a 'bad expectation' in doing that. It was actually in my state's mental health newsletter! It was suggestive to the point of making me fear going back to work. Lord, oh how I would love to. I have a good work history (well, a bit sporadic w/ sick days), but was very good at what I did, and always tried to do my best, and my employers liked my work. I stopped in 2000 when applied for SSD. Anyway, I hope the DSM code makes a division here somewhere, because I've never had any intention of bothering/hurting others in any way. Isn't that the problem w/ the diagnosis; they paint a portrait of some danger to others? cf
Posted by alesta on December 15, 2004, at 14:58:43
In reply to BPD and PTSD Tofu Emmy, Alesta-long dull » littleone, posted by Gabbix2 on December 14, 2004, at 21:59:32
<chuckle> it is not dull, g! i found it interesting.> I'm fortunate that my psychiatrist got to know me better and took it off my chart.
i'm glad he did. btw, you come across as very stable, nonmanipulative, etc.
side comment: also, i think there's a term used to describe students of psychology who think they have all the disorders they read about.
probably because they have a few of the symptoms.many disorders could cause your symptoms of emptiness, anxiety, and overdose. eg depression, anxiety disorder, or both (as you probably know).
keep lettin off that steam, G! good for ya! :_)
aimi :)
Posted by Gabbix2 on December 16, 2004, at 0:24:07
In reply to Re: BPD and PTSD Tofu Emmy, Alesta-long dull » Gabbix2, posted by alesta on December 15, 2004, at 14:58:43
>
> <chuckle> it is not dull, g! i found it interesting.
>
> > I'm fortunate that my psychiatrist got to know me better and took it off my chart.
>
> i'm glad he did. btw, you come across as very stable, nonmanipulative, etc.Thanks Alesta, you're very kind.
Well I'm not manipulative, or angry, but not emotionally healthy, or at least not recently. I don't take it out on anyone else though, unless you count bursting into tears in front of them.
> side comment: also, i think there's a term used to describe students of psychology who think they have all the disorders they read about.
> probably because they have a few of the symptoms.
>
> many disorders could cause your symptoms of emptiness, anxiety, and overdose. eg depression, anxiety disorder, or both (as you probably know).
>
Yeah, I have those too, I'm a multi-faceted woman.
> keep lettin off that steam, G! good for ya! :_)
>
Thanks Amy
This is the end of the thread.
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