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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by smokeymadison on December 8, 2004, at 0:25:52
i just got an invitation to a bridal luncheon with one of my best friends from high school. i am the only one of our close group of friends not asked to be a bridesmaid. ouch! OUCH!!!
i am the "crazy" one in our circle of friends, the one with all the emotional and mental problems. the friend who is the bride has kept her distance ever since my first suicide attempt four years ago.
this just hurts so bad. we were best friends in middle school and most of high school until i went "crazy" i am still realy good friends with a couple of the bridesmaids and it hurts that they sort of kept this fact from me for months. (that they were all asked to be bridesmaids.)
i realize that my borderline stuff is really coming out here--rejection is something i don't handle very well at all. i don't know how i am going to make it through the luncheon without bawling (it is a month away.) i just took 2 mg of Klonopin to calm down and am hoping i will just go to sleep and wake up feeling better, but i seriously doubt it...
SM
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 8, 2004, at 0:48:57
In reply to OUCH!!! rejection sucks, posted by smokeymadison on December 8, 2004, at 0:25:52
Maybe I am wrong OK but she doesnt sounds like much of a friend to me and frankly I wouldn't go to her lunch. If your issues put her off why well...?(*&# her. Thats just my 2 cents. I am so sorry youre hurting over this.
Posted by Shortelise on December 8, 2004, at 21:18:12
In reply to OUCH!!! rejection sucks, posted by smokeymadison on December 8, 2004, at 0:25:52
When I was in high school I lost it too. I was hospitalized for 365 days, that's one year - this was in the days when 100% hospitalisation insurance put me in one of the best psych. hospital in the US. Indoor pool, tennis courts, lots of activities - and a private school on the grounds. Deluxe!
Most of my "friends" from the outside deserted me.
How I came to see it is that they just didn't know how to be with me. They were afraid. I cut myself and they knew it. I smoked dope, and did other drugs, and it freaked them out. They were afraid.
And they didn't understand. They still don't.
One or two stuck by me, one or two came back later. And 30 + years later, I'm still good friends with those.
It wasn't about me, it was about them. They didn't have the knowlegde, understanding or courage to try to remain friends with me. It still hurts a little, but I can't blame them too much. I was very very needy, and being my friend meant a lot of giving to me. There have been times since that I have chosen not to be friends with others whose needs were more than I could bear, when I just didn't have the energy.
I am sorry you are feeling hurt and upset by this. It's not "fair". You may be a lot better now, much more stable. But she may not know that, and maybe, just maybe your friend didn't ask you because she's worried about the stress it might put on you? Or maybe it's such an important day for her and because she isn't sure you'd really be up to it, she didn't feel she could take a chance of you letting her down? I think it could be about her and her perceptions, not about who you are. She obviously doesn't know who you are.
As for your friends not telling you - could it have been because they knew it would upset you that they didn't tell you? I would have felt very badly if I were one of them, and would have struggled as to whether or not to tell you, and I consider myself a good and kind friend.
Hugs, Smokey. Again, I am really sorry this is happening.
ShortE
Posted by Susan47 on December 8, 2004, at 21:19:33
In reply to OUCH!!! rejection sucks, posted by smokeymadison on December 8, 2004, at 0:25:52
It might be an idea to feel your grief. Grieving is good, you need to feel this so you can overcome it. Don't squash everything, it won't work you'll just have to deal with it all another time. Do your grieving safely, not at the luncheon or the wedding ... do it safely. But do it. Don't be afraid of your feelings, you've earned them, they're yours you have a right to them.
Posted by Shortelise on December 9, 2004, at 0:56:58
In reply to Re: OUCH!!! rejection sucks » smokeymadison, posted by Susan47 on December 8, 2004, at 21:19:33
You're right, Susan.
Shorte
This is the end of the thread.
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