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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kellyr. on June 20, 2004, at 15:46:39
it's been 23yrs today on fathers day since my dads suicide by cop,he was only 39yrs old. I was only 12yrs old when it happen, & i was the last one to talk to him. I miss him alote, I can remember him but if i didn't have a picture of him i probly wouldn't remember his face, his long black hair & beard,& his deep voice. He drove a truck & took us places like the ocean or the boardwalk & go on all the rides or going over to his parents house where he lived, hanging out in his room playing w/ his accordian or going to the park down the street from his parents house.
He never got to give me away on my wedding day or see any of my kids grow,or take my kids crabing like we did.
poam for him
Do not stand by my grave an weep
I am not there I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awake in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft starshine at night
Do not stand by my grave and cry
I am not there--I did not die.
Posted by Jai Narayan on June 20, 2004, at 19:57:30
In reply to My fathers suicide, posted by kellyr. on June 20, 2004, at 15:46:39
> it's been 23yrs today on fathers day since my dads suicide by cop,he was only 39yrs old. I was only 12yrs old when it happen, & i was the last one to talk to him. I miss him alote, I can remember him but if i didn't have a picture of him i probly wouldn't remember his face, his long black hair & beard,& his deep voice. He drove a truck & took us places like the ocean or the boardwalk & go on all the rides or going over to his parents house where he lived, hanging out in his room playing w/ his accordian or going to the park down the street from his parents house.
> He never got to give me away on my wedding day or see any of my kids grow,or take my kids crabing like we did.
> poam for him
> Do not stand by my grave an weep
> I am not there I do not sleep
> I am a thousand winds that blow
> I am the sunlight on ripened grain
> I am the gentle autumn rain
> When you awake in the morning hush
> I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight
> I am the soft starshine at night
> Do not stand by my grave and cry
> I am not there--I did not die.***Beautiful Poem....
Oh Kelly, I am so sorry you lost your father in such a way. Today must remind you of all the wonderful memories. But I know the loss is too much.
Please, I think EMDR would help you with this kind of trauma.
Oh Kelly I wish from the bottom of my heart that your life turns around and gets better....much better. Please consider the EMDR.
Mucho love and energy coming your way.
Posted by TofuEmmy on June 20, 2004, at 21:34:10
In reply to My fathers suicide, posted by kellyr. on June 20, 2004, at 15:46:39
Kelly - I don't have it in me tonight to write much, just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and all the children of suicide today. It's a sad day for so many. My big sad day is Mothers Day.
Do you know about the scolos email group? If not, email me at emilysimon2003 at yahoo dot com.
Emmy
Posted by gardenergirl on June 21, 2004, at 0:34:03
In reply to Re: My fathers suicide, posted by TofuEmmy on June 20, 2004, at 21:34:10
kelly,
I'm so sorry for your loss. What a terrible and painful thing to have to experience. I wish I could make the hurt go away.I also hope you are doing a bit better. I'm glad you posted, because I was worried about you.
(((((kellyr)))))
I'm sending as much comfort and healing as I can.
gg
Posted by daisym on June 21, 2004, at 0:37:47
In reply to Re: My fathers suicide, posted by TofuEmmy on June 20, 2004, at 21:34:10
Kelly,
some wounds never totally heal. This is a hard day for lots of people. I hope you found a way to honor your father and find some peace for yourself.
He would want that for you.
Posted by cubic_me on June 21, 2004, at 8:39:41
In reply to Re: My fathers suicide, posted by daisym on June 21, 2004, at 0:37:47
I'm so sorry yesterday was such a difficult day for you. How are you doing now?
Someone mentioned an email group before. FFOS has helped me so much as a survivor of suicide, and it's ofshoot, Shade, has many people who have problems like depression and have also lost a loved one to suicide. If you would like any more info, let me know.
(((hugs))) cubic
Posted by shadows721 on June 21, 2004, at 13:25:48
In reply to My fathers suicide, posted by kellyr. on June 20, 2004, at 15:46:39
Kellyr
I can't imagine the pain of losing a parent this way. I do wonder if this anniversary was the reason for your own attempt last week. I do hope that you are in therapy to process this pain with someone and not alone.
Thanks for sharing.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 25, 2004, at 5:20:30
In reply to Re: My fathers suicide, posted by cubic_me on June 21, 2004, at 8:39:41
> Someone mentioned an email group before. FFOS has helped me so much as a survivor of suicide, and it's ofshoot, Shade, has many people who have problems like depression and have also lost a loved one to suicide. If you would like any more info, let me know.
There's also Psycho-Babble Grief... Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20040220/msgs/360103.html
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by sexylexy on June 25, 2004, at 19:19:11
In reply to Re: My fathers suicide, posted by Jai Narayan on June 20, 2004, at 19:57:30
Jai...
Hi I'm Lexy. I am a 24 year old who just finished up my masters degree in social work with an emphasis on Cognitive Behavioral therapy (I also suffer from depression and anxiety) I am not familiar with EMDR, can you tell me about it? I would love to be able to refer if they did not respond well to CBT. Thanks so much!
Lexy
Posted by Jai Narayan on June 27, 2004, at 19:30:51
In reply to Re: My fathers suicide » Jai Narayan, posted by sexylexy on June 25, 2004, at 19:19:11
** Hi Lexy, I am 56 years old and have survived a traumatic childhood. I have done traditional and radical therapy since I was in my 20's.
>I am not familiar with EMDR, can you tell me about it?
**I started doing EMDR in the year 2000.
My partner went to a few sessions for flash backs about the death of his son that would not leave him alone. This 4th of July it will have been 23 years ago Jesaja (an alternate spelling for Isaiah) died in a fire.
My partner found his son on fire and tried to put the flames out with his hands.
The child of 2 1/2 died 10 days later.
But his dad never got over the fire and had flash backs everyday and sometimes all night. He was at the fire and his hands were going down to save his son.
So he did EMDR and the flashbacks have stopped and he can still think about the incident but it doesn't have the death grip it did.So all the technical processes are simple: some stimulation (light going from one eye to the other, or ear phones have a tone that goes from one ear to the other intermittently, or a vibrating unit stimulates one side of the body and then the other) activates both right and left hemisphere of the brain alternately and then the trauma you are thinking about gets processed with the entire brain.
It gets the full power of the brain and the situation changes because you get to really look at the trauma.
I am a different person now....down to my vibrations, really it's so cool. I used to be afraid of everything.
Now I am free to really see what may be going on and then I can feel so many feelings....not just fear.
Gosh I did go on.
I hope this helps. I love this topic.
take care Lexy.
Posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 19:52:46
In reply to EMDR, posted by Jai Narayan on June 27, 2004, at 19:30:51
great post, Jai. I'm getting very good results so far with the treatment.
This is the end of the thread.
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