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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Penny on December 8, 2003, at 12:57:09
Have any of you been to a career counselor, taken tests to see what kind of career would best fit your interests and skills? I'm interested in hearing about experiences...is this something you found helpful?
As I see it, I have two primary problems that leave me feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, frustrated and just plain unhappy, and that, in turn, weigh on the rest of my life and make it harder to deal with other issues (family, weight, etc.). Those problems are (1) finances and (2) a job I dislike. And, unfortunately, those two things go hand-in-hand.
I work in public relations, which is the area my degree is in, and I'm doing exactly what I was trained to do, but I don't like it. I don't like sitting behind a desk all day. I would like to change careers, am thinking about going back to school to get my MSW and become a psychotherapist (wouldn't that be a hoot?), but the reality is that it is going to be difficult (though I don't think impossible) to make it through two years of school. I have to have insurance, I'm not married, I have to keep a roof over my head, giving up therapy is not an option, I need to keep my car, etc.
If I were making enough money right now to pay for my expenses and have something to set aside in preparation for going back to school, that would at least give me something to strive for. But that's not the case. I naively thought when I took my job that it would pay the bills...but it doesn't. And so, in the last year (as I said in the thread above), I have ruined my credit, I'm debt way over my head, and I just see no way out. And it's when I see no way out that I start getting seriously depressed and then thinking about suicide. I know, or I guess I know, that suicide is, as they say, "a permanent solution to a temporary problem" but this problem doesn't feel temporary.
When I spent a week in the hospital this summer, my financial trouble was part of the reason I ended up there - it was part of the reason I was so low. I kept telling everyone that what I needed was for someone to help me out of my situation. I don't mean by giving me money (though that would be nice!) but by helping me to figure out my options and helping me to make some decisions that would get me out of the trouble I'm in. But I have yet to find anyone who can do that. I have spoken with a credit counselor (at a reputable place), and was told that I should seriously consider bankruptcy. I have spoken with a bankruptcy attorney, and she has been most helpful...but the reality of it is, I don't have the cash right now to even FILE for bankruptcy!!! How crazy is that???
So, I feel stuck. My T told me that she doesn't specialize in helping people make career decisions, but that there are people who could help me with such things, and I'm wondering if it would be worth my while.
I surely wish I could make a living taking care of other people's kids. But that's not realistic.
I'm afraid that I've really screwed up my life, and I don't know how, at this point, I will ever get it back on track (and my T would point out all of the extreme thinking I'm doing right now...). I need help. Not another therapist, not more medication, not another pdoc, but someone who can guide me in the right direction as far as my career and finances are concerned.
Any thoughts? Have any of you been at the bottom of the financial ladder and found a way up that didn't require selling your soul?
P
Posted by Susan J on December 8, 2003, at 13:26:42
In reply to Career counseling? (long), posted by Penny on December 8, 2003, at 12:57:09
Hi, Penny.
> Have any of you been to a career counselor, taken tests to see what kind of career would best fit your interests and skills? I'm interested in hearing about experiences...is this something you found helpful?
<<I haven't, but it sounds like a great idea!
Most colleges have a program. Maybe your alma mater?>but the reality is that it is going to be difficult (though I don't think impossible) to make it through two years of school. I have to have insurance, I'm not married, I have to keep a roof over my head, giving up therapy is not an option, I need to keep my car, etc.
<<I don't know where you live (U.S.?). I went to law school at night because I had to work, and I certainly couldn't afford to pay for school. I got loans (which is why I asked if you were in the U.S.). By keeping my job, I kept a decent income and health insurance, but also went to school.I think just *going* to school would do wonders for you, if you are anything like me. When I was in law school, I weighed too much and didn't have a boyfriend and all that sucked. But it was BY FAR the HAPPIEST period of my life! I was working toward something I enjoyed. I was being productive. I was doing something *good.* And that really made a difference in my attitude. Also, when there's something you are focusing on as much as school, work doesn't seem to matter so much because it's *not* your life.
I know you hate your job now. Is there a way to take another type of job that still provides insurance and allows you to go to school? Do you have access to loans?
>>But I have yet to find anyone who can do that. I have spoken with a credit counselor (at a reputable place), and was told that I should seriously consider bankruptcy. I have spoken with a bankruptcy attorney, and she has been most helpful...but the reality of it is, I don't have the cash right now to even FILE for bankruptcy!!! How crazy is that???
<<That *is* rough. I was going to recommend a credit counseling service, but since you've already gone....but perhaps you could talk to someone at another one?> Any thoughts? Have any of you been at the bottom of the financial ladder and found a way up that didn't require selling your soul?
<<I racked up $12,000 in credit card debt in one year alone while depressed -- med bills and shopping cuz shopping made me *happy,* or at least not suicidal. :-) I went to a credit counseling service and they worked out a plan for me. It hurts my credit but it was a huge mental relief that I was paying my bills again.If bankruptcy is your only option, then I think it might be worthwhile to do it. I know it sounds desperate, but it would get rid of the collections calls/mail, help you pay off debt and forgive other debts. Your peace of mind is worth it. And there *is* life after bankruptcy. My dad works for a mortgage processing company and they give mortgages to people who've filed for bankruptcy within the year and who've had their homes forclosed upon.....It *can* be done.
I don't know your living situation. Do you live with family? Alone? Roomates? If you live alone, could you get a roommate? Can you get a job at a school you want to attend (i.e. free tuition/probably health insurance?). May not be in your field, but it could be a good choice while in school.
Hang in there. You've got the strength to get through this, I know you do. :-)
Susan
Posted by Penny on December 8, 2003, at 13:50:51
In reply to Re: Career counseling? (long) » Penny, posted by Susan J on December 8, 2003, at 13:26:42
> Hi, Penny.
>
> > Have any of you been to a career counselor, taken tests to see what kind of career would best fit your interests and skills? I'm interested in hearing about experiences...is this something you found helpful?
> <<I haven't, but it sounds like a great idea!
> Most colleges have a program. Maybe your alma mater?I actually work at my alma mater, but I never found their career services folks to be very helpful, and I wasn't a student that long ago. I'll check, though, and see what services they offer alums.
> >but the reality is that it is going to be difficult (though I don't think impossible) to make it through two years of school. I have to have insurance, I'm not married, I have to keep a roof over my head, giving up therapy is not an option, I need to keep my car, etc.
> <<I don't know where you live (U.S.?). I went to law school at night because I had to work, and I certainly couldn't afford to pay for school. I got loans (which is why I asked if you were in the U.S.). By keeping my job, I kept a decent income and health insurance, but also went to school.Yeah - I'm in N.C. The problem with loans is that I am so maxed out credit-wise, I don't know that I would qualify for loans anymore. I was taking classes last semester and working full-time, but that, too, was too much for me. And the program I'm looking at is full-time.
> I think just *going* to school would do wonders for you, if you are anything like me. When I was in law school, I weighed too much and didn't have a boyfriend and all that sucked. But it was BY FAR the HAPPIEST period of my life! I was working toward something I enjoyed. I was being productive. I was doing something *good.* And that really made a difference in my attitude. Also, when there's something you are focusing on as much as school, work doesn't seem to matter so much because it's *not* your life.> I know you hate your job now. Is there a way to take another type of job that still provides insurance and allows you to go to school? Do you have access to loans?
I don't know...
> >>But I have yet to find anyone who can do that. I have spoken with a credit counselor (at a reputable place), and was told that I should seriously consider bankruptcy. I have spoken with a bankruptcy attorney, and she has been most helpful...but the reality of it is, I don't have the cash right now to even FILE for bankruptcy!!! How crazy is that???
> <<That *is* rough. I was going to recommend a credit counseling service, but since you've already gone....but perhaps you could talk to someone at another one?
>
> > Any thoughts? Have any of you been at the bottom of the financial ladder and found a way up that didn't require selling your soul?
> <<I racked up $12,000 in credit card debt in one year alone while depressed -- med bills and shopping cuz shopping made me *happy,* or at least not suicidal. :-) I went to a credit counseling service and they worked out a plan for me. It hurts my credit but it was a huge mental relief that I was paying my bills again.
>
> If bankruptcy is your only option, then I think it might be worthwhile to do it. I know it sounds desperate, but it would get rid of the collections calls/mail, help you pay off debt and forgive other debts. Your peace of mind is worth it. And there *is* life after bankruptcy. My dad works for a mortgage processing company and they give mortgages to people who've filed for bankruptcy within the year and who've had their homes forclosed upon.....It *can* be done.
>
> I don't know your living situation. Do you live with family? Alone? Roomates? If you live alone, could you get a roommate?I live alone, thank goodness. I was living with a roommate until October, when we moved into separate abodes. I've done the roommate thing, I've been a nanny in exchange for my rent, and I've lived alone (family is out of the question), and living alone is definitely the only choice for me. I have to have somewhere *safe* and *peaceful* to go home. Plus, living with someone really wasn't any less expensive than living alone, b/c then I had to have little extras I didn't want - cable, high-speed internet, call waiting, etc. I don't have those things now, so my living expenses really haven't increased at all since moving out on my own. But they haven't decreased either.
> Can you get a job at a school you want to attend (i.e. free tuition/probably health insurance?). May not be in your field, but it could be a good choice while in school.I'm already working where I want to attend. We get one free class a semester (for 2 semesters a year), but it only covers undergrad classes, not graduate classes. At my old job, there was an evening MBA program that I could have done for free, which is what my predecesor did, but I have no desire to have an MBA or to continue sitting behind a desk. Then I was looking at an accelerated BSN (2nd degree) program, but I don't really want to be a nurse either, and it would have been full-time anyway.
> Hang in there. You've got the strength to get through this, I know you do. :-)
>
> SusanI'm not so sure, but thanks...
P
Posted by Susan J on December 8, 2003, at 14:48:13
In reply to Re: Career counseling? (long) » Susan J, posted by Penny on December 8, 2003, at 13:50:51
Hi, Penny.
> Yeah - I'm in N.C. The problem with loans is that I am so maxed out credit-wise, I don't know that I would qualify for loans anymore. I was taking classes last semester and working full-time, but that, too, was too much for me. And the program I'm looking at is full-time.
<<I think, although not positive, that you'd definitely qualify for Stafford Loans since they are federally insured. I think you have to be current on any outstanding federal loans you have, but that they don't look at regular credit... And for grad school, when I was going, you could get up to $18,500 a year.I think it's definitely worth looking into. Borrow for school and your living expenses, and use what money you earn to pay down your debt.
> I live alone, thank goodness. I was living with a roommate until October, when we moved into separate abodes.
<<Oh, yes, I remember. She'd been a good friend and living together had caused tension.....I agree. Living alone is definitely preferable if you can swing it.
> I'm already working where I want to attend. We get one free class a semester (for 2 semesters a year), but it only covers undergrad classes, not graduate classes.
<<Wow, I'm surprised. Here, schools in the University of Maryland system pay for all classes for employees. Wanna move to Maryland? :-)Hmmmm, well, I'd look into career planning for alums that your school offers. But sit down and brainstorm, too. Honestly, if I could, I'd be a landscape artist type or work at a nursery because that's fun to me, outdoors, mindless, and happy. So different from being a lawyer. But I'd have to work for 1/4 my current salary, and even though I don't consider myself materialistic, I couldn't swing that.
But write down all the jobs you ever thought were interesting and see if something grabs you. :-)
Good luck, I'll be thinking about you (and routing for you).
Susan
Posted by Susan J on December 8, 2003, at 14:52:43
In reply to Re: Career counseling? (long) » Susan J, posted by Penny on December 8, 2003, at 13:50:51
Penny,
I don't know what types of jobs you might be interested in, but I have subscribed to a several job services that send me e-mails about new jobs that are being advertised. Like, I'm interested in CMS (federal Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services) and they send me jobs I'm qualified for.
I also have signed up for a job bank with a certain political branch -- they *all* have policy wonk positions.
I know you said you don't want a desk job. Are you interested in sports at all? Working in the athletic department of a college is a lot of fun and not really (at least not all day) a desk job. And there's travel involved. Stuff like that.
:-)
Susan
Posted by afatchic on December 8, 2003, at 18:52:13
In reply to Career counseling? (long), posted by Penny on December 8, 2003, at 12:57:09
Penny,
I think career counseling would be great for you. Maybe you could talk to a someone where you work. They usually have those types of tests available through student services.
Also, you should be able to get student loans even with terrible credit. I know because I'm going to school full time now and using student loans. My credit could not get any worse. At this point, bankruptcy would actually improve my rating, but like you I can't afford it now.
Going to school has been wonderful for me. No sadistic supervisors!
Good luck,
Alex
> Have any of you been to a career counselor, taken tests to see what kind of career would best fit your interests and skills? I'm interested in hearing about experiences...is this something you found helpful?
>
> As I see it, I have two primary problems that leave me feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, frustrated and just plain unhappy, and that, in turn, weigh on the rest of my life and make it harder to deal with other issues (family, weight, etc.). Those problems are (1) finances and (2) a job I dislike. And, unfortunately, those two things go hand-in-hand.
>
> I work in public relations, which is the area my degree is in, and I'm doing exactly what I was trained to do, but I don't like it. I don't like sitting behind a desk all day. I would like to change careers, am thinking about going back to school to get my MSW and become a psychotherapist (wouldn't that be a hoot?), but the reality is that it is going to be difficult (though I don't think impossible) to make it through two years of school. I have to have insurance, I'm not married, I have to keep a roof over my head, giving up therapy is not an option, I need to keep my car, etc.
>
> If I were making enough money right now to pay for my expenses and have something to set aside in preparation for going back to school, that would at least give me something to strive for. But that's not the case. I naively thought when I took my job that it would pay the bills...but it doesn't. And so, in the last year (as I said in the thread above), I have ruined my credit, I'm debt way over my head, and I just see no way out. And it's when I see no way out that I start getting seriously depressed and then thinking about suicide. I know, or I guess I know, that suicide is, as they say, "a permanent solution to a temporary problem" but this problem doesn't feel temporary.
>
> When I spent a week in the hospital this summer, my financial trouble was part of the reason I ended up there - it was part of the reason I was so low. I kept telling everyone that what I needed was for someone to help me out of my situation. I don't mean by giving me money (though that would be nice!) but by helping me to figure out my options and helping me to make some decisions that would get me out of the trouble I'm in. But I have yet to find anyone who can do that. I have spoken with a credit counselor (at a reputable place), and was told that I should seriously consider bankruptcy. I have spoken with a bankruptcy attorney, and she has been most helpful...but the reality of it is, I don't have the cash right now to even FILE for bankruptcy!!! How crazy is that???
>
> So, I feel stuck. My T told me that she doesn't specialize in helping people make career decisions, but that there are people who could help me with such things, and I'm wondering if it would be worth my while.
>
> I surely wish I could make a living taking care of other people's kids. But that's not realistic.
>
> I'm afraid that I've really screwed up my life, and I don't know how, at this point, I will ever get it back on track (and my T would point out all of the extreme thinking I'm doing right now...). I need help. Not another therapist, not more medication, not another pdoc, but someone who can guide me in the right direction as far as my career and finances are concerned.
>
> Any thoughts? Have any of you been at the bottom of the financial ladder and found a way up that didn't require selling your soul?
>
> P
Posted by Kalamatianos on December 9, 2003, at 0:11:34
In reply to Career counseling? (long), posted by Penny on December 8, 2003, at 12:57:09
I have a good buddy who has his master's in Rehab Counseling. Runs everyone through a gauntlet of tests and then he gets them a job. State pays for it if you apply at the state employment office.
I suggest you can find rehab counseling through the state, the county, or the local university. One guy I worked with seven years ago was paid a part time salary and had the school paid for, to change careers. Took him nine months, then they found him that job.
Just don't take no for an answer, I guess.
Posted by Penny on December 10, 2003, at 8:48:53
In reply to Career counseling? (long), posted by Penny on December 8, 2003, at 12:57:09
Thanks for the ideas and support. After a trying therapy session last night, I can't say I am any closer to knowing what I should be doing, but I do appreciate everyone trying to help.
P
Posted by Dinah on December 10, 2003, at 8:54:30
In reply to Re: Career counseling? all, posted by Penny on December 10, 2003, at 8:48:53
Penny, all I can say is that I stuck with a job I didn't like until I had significant family obligations that made it extremely difficult to change gears. Or as Dr. Laura would say and my husband would say... well, never mind. But once you have a kid and a mortgage and a husband, it's tough to tell them you're going back to school. You're young yet.
Posted by Ilene on December 10, 2003, at 21:49:23
In reply to Career counseling? (long), posted by Penny on December 8, 2003, at 12:57:09
> Have any of you been to a career counselor, taken tests to see what kind of career would best fit your interests and skills? I'm interested in hearing about experiences...is this something you found helpful?
>Yes! I went to a career counseling service, took a bunch of tests, tested high in areas I had never considered, went to graduate school, but by the time I got my degree I was too disabled from depression and other things to work.
I don't remember how much it cost, but it was serious money.
> I work in public relations, which is the area my degree is in, and I'm doing exactly what I was trained to do, but I don't like it. I don't like sitting behind a desk all day.
A good reason to find out if you have an aptitude for your "perfect job" before you get your degree. My husband's in PR, too, and I don't know how he can stand it.
Ilene
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