Psycho-Babble Social Thread 247662

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re: The above past life wasn't for me

Posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 1:39:04

In reply to re: The above past life wasn't for me » kara lynne, posted by lil' jimi on August 12, 2003, at 23:13:43

Please don't be ashamed of your success, even if I tease you. I think it's well deserved, and somewhere it gives me hope. I'm even trying Lexapro again!

As for the list...you got an extra lifetime?

Yes, the stressors are many, and enhanced by this evening's full moon. The move (2nd in six weeks) I hope to God is for the better, but I'm still too traumatized to know it. Hopefully within a few weeks I'll be able to see a little bit of the forest for the trees...

How long ago did that happen to you? How would you consider it reciprocity, or reason to feel paranoid if it were karma in action? I don't think it means you have to give up anything dear to your heart...

 

re: Yesac?

Posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 8:50:19

In reply to re: The above past life wasn't for me, posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 1:39:04

good morning!

i hope it is a good morning for everyone
and i thought i'd start my morning off by checking in with our sweet ms yesac ...
... Hi, Yesac!
... how you doing?
... hoping you're doing okay there!

TAKE CARE !!
~ jim

 

Oh, I've missed Everything ;( (nm)

Posted by yesac on August 13, 2003, at 9:00:07

In reply to lil Jimi Lexapro, posted by kara lynne on August 12, 2003, at 22:39:33

 

KL and LJ

Posted by yesac on August 13, 2003, at 9:21:30

In reply to re: Yesac?, posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 8:50:19

> i hope it is a good morning for everyone
> and i thought i'd start my morning off by checking in with our sweet ms yesac ...
> ... Hi, Yesac!
> ... how you doing?
> ... hoping you're doing okay there!

Oh, gee, thanks. I feel special that you guys missed me last night! I left work at the usual 6:30 EST last night... don't have internet access at home so I'm usually online if I can be at work. Sometimes I go to the library or other places to get online too.

I'm feeling kind of okay. I ended up talking to one of my new roomates for several hours last night. That was good. Hopefully things will begin to feel more comfortable gradually. I'm not trying to rush it or push myself too much because I don't want to let myself get all stressed out about it. Hoping that in time, we'll just all feel comfortable living together.

But I wish I hadn't missed the whole conversation here last night!

I know I'm jumping in kind of late here, but here are my thoughts:

kL - Yeah, I don't know about that therapist. I mean, I'm not saying ditch him, because it's your decision, and it's all about how you feel... but I do think that if your initial reaction was so strong that you didn't really like or get much from him, well... sometimes with these things I just think you need to go with your gut. On the other hand, one more session probably couldn't hurt just to see if he's still the same or what he says if you tell him how you felt about his approach.

LJ - I'm really sorry about your parents too. I had no idea (how would I, I guess?)

Now you guys have got me wondering about Lexapro. I've been on Celexa and Paxil, which both did nothing for me, so I've pretty much given up on SSRIs... but I don't know. I'm just so desperate now to find something that works.

 

Re: Back from therapy! Kara

Posted by fallsfall on August 13, 2003, at 9:41:42

In reply to Re: Back from therapy! Dinah, posted by kara lynne on August 12, 2003, at 22:30:58

Hi Kara,

I'm a little sleepy today (had to get up for my daughter), so I may not make any sense.

I'm confused about this therapist. Is he new for you (how many sessions)?. But you say something about a "last appointment", so are you terminating?

I guess that I think it is almost always instructive to go back and talk about what didn't work. It gives them a chance to explain what they were trying to do, and may give you insight into how you see things. Lets you clean the air.

The time you don't go back (and this is the case with my last therapist) is when going back would be so traumatic that any gains wouldn't offset the trauma.

If this is a new guy and he is still trying to figure out how you work, then a discussion might be really helpful. (Because starting all over is Always a drag!)

Don't call your ex!! You are doing great! It will get easier each day.

 

re: another past life for us

Posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 10:21:06

In reply to re: The above past life wasn't for me, posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 1:39:04

hi Kara Lynne!

and, now, i recall your biggest latest stressor: your licensing exam and trying to get qualified to re-take it after having your mental health history mis-documented as a form of aggression instead of depression and being rejected for your dx being inadequate ... ... or at least something horrible like that .. ... .. on Top of the list i was making for you yesterday ... ... ... whenever they itemize our stressors, yours are the ones they always rate as the top aggravations ... ... ...

> Please don't be ashamed of your success, even if I tease you.
>

well, "ashamed" may have been an overstatement ... ... but i do feel that my worst complaints are small potatoes comparatively speaking .. ... .. and i like you teasing me ... ... it's good for me.

> I think it's well deserved, and somewhere it gives me hope. I'm even trying Lexapro again!
>

it may well be deserved, although i can't be too confident how well deserved it may be, but thanks!

of course, i am the big fan of lexapro, so that's close to my heart ... ... and you already know how it can be a big challenge ... .. ... it's like you can never know who it will work for and who it won't .. ... .. especially now that it seems to be being prescribed for everything ... ..
... depression
... atypical depression
... every anxiety/panic disorder
... bp, bp2, every mood diorder
... ocd, eating disorders

as setonin stablity becomes the more likely suspect for these disorders ... and as other ADs inflict worse or too many SEs and /or poop out ... then the refugees are being sent to lexapro or effexor ...

and of course lex can offer up every kind of initial SE, which can last ... oh, who knows how long ?
... .. ... the pBab lex tread is an awesome resource that documents all of these things so well ... ...

("bring us your poor, your tired, huddled masses ..." she said.)

but it is most gratifying to me, if i am able to give you hope.
There IS Hope! for all of us .... hang in there!

> As for the list...you got an extra lifetime?
>
> Yes, the stressors are many, and enhanced by this evening's full moon. The move (2nd in six weeks) I hope to God is for the better, but I'm still too traumatized to know it. Hopefully within a few weeks I'll be able to see a little bit of the forest for the trees...
>

poor baby ... we are a-pulling for you!

> How long ago did that happen to you? How would you consider it reciprocity, or reason to feel paranoid if it were karma in action? I don't think it means you have to give up anything dear to your heart...
>

the auto accident happened in st. pete, fl on june 3rd, 2002 and lama pema norbu was to arrive (did arrive) in austin on june 5th 2002 ... ... it was a little over a year ago .. ... .. funny thing to me is that when i told my gp about my parents in march, she said (i'm way paraphrasing here) that they give us 6 months to recover from grief and i had had nine months, therefore i needed lex ... ... and although i argue with that, a lot, i still feel like lex was/is a good thing for me.

i suffer some powerfully ambivalent feelings about those events ... .... ... the sense that they are connected haunts me ... ... ... yet it seems unavoidable ... .. ... 'seems' may be the operative word there ... i don't know
... .. ... but IF they were/are connected, well, now i think things may be able to be too connected
... ... although, in my madhyamaka mahayana buddhism there is great emphasis placed on the mutually interdependent reciprocal origination of all things
... ... ever feel like you are supposed to be learning a lesson about something and the universe is screaming it at you but you don't get it?

i'd just like to believe that such karmic forces weren't going to .... what?

... use loved ones deaths to ... what?
... guide my spirtual ... choices?

i mean if i am not Supposed to join up with my beloved Nyingmapa ... .. ... can we just have the powers-that-be like send me a telegram or something instead of like having people die?

so, you can see now how these things seem to me too connected, for this buddhist, who believes everything is connected ... ...

what might be the consequences if i were to try to join the Kargyutpas? ... (kargyutpa is another tibetan buddhist tradition ... there are like 4 or 5 main flavors)

even i think this is silly ... ... and my parents really are in a better place now .

still it spooks me ... ... some.

and how is kara lynne today, please?

~ jim

 

re: another past life for us

Posted by yesac on August 13, 2003, at 11:48:21

In reply to re: another past life for us, posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 10:21:06

>the auto accident happened in st. pete, fl on june 3rd, 2002 and lama pema norbu was to arrive (did arrive) in austin on june 5th 2002 ... ... it was a little over a year ago .. ... .. funny thing to me
> is that when i told my gp about my parents in march, she said (i'm way paraphrasing here) that they give us 6 months to recover from grief and i had had nine months, therefore i needed lex ...
> ... and although i argue with that, a lot, i still feel like lex was/is a good thing for me.

Who's "they"? I mean, what is 6 months like the official grieving period, and after that you are just supposed to get over it? That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard! Not to put down Dr. ?????-???... I'm sure it's what they teach them in medical school or residency or journals or whatever. I can just see it.... A Brief Guide to Grief as It Applies to Medicine: "Patients should be given exactly 6 months to recover from the death of people who have been there for their entire lives. If, after a MAXIMUM of 6 months, the patient is still showing symptoms of grief, then the patient must be depressed and therefore whip out a prescription so that you as the MD don't have to deal with it anymore."

Oh well, maybe I'm overreacting a bit here. It just seems a little silly to put a time frame on it like that. As far as I know, grieving is a "process" that goes on for years and years, if not forever in some kind of way.

 

Re: Back from therapy! fallsfalll

Posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 11:51:33

In reply to Re: Back from therapy! Kara, posted by fallsfall on August 13, 2003, at 9:41:42

Hi fallsfall,
Yes, that was the second session I've had with this therapist and I was thinking seriously about it being the last. But I think I will keep my appt. next week and try and to talk about what happened. I want to be able to be a bit clearer about it though, because I realized I left feeling so muddled yesterday. I'm still not quite sure what happened.

And thank you for saying 'Don't call your ex'!! My friends (friend?) tries to qualify everything and say she shouldn't tell me what to do, but I really *want* people to say DON'T CALL YOUR EX!!! I was going to put reminders up in my room this morning like, "Even when it was good it was bad", and "You will feel worse if you call", and "He called you an unloveable %$%" and "The guy's impotent anyway".....but I thought it would make me feel more psycho. But I liked reading your post and seeing the directive.

How are things going with you??

 

re: another past life for us/ lil jimi

Posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 12:22:56

In reply to re: another past life for us, posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 10:21:06

Ah! Thank you for making clear the obvious. Of course that's what you might infer from the events--talk about top stressors. And it is still so fresh, really.

I don't quite understand the 6/9 months thing--does that mean grieving past 6 months makes you a candidate for meds? ( I can never get behind these time slots we're supposed to have for our emotions...) Well whatever the rationale it led you to something that works for you, and that's all that matters.

I don't think your fears are the slightest bit silly; I don't see how someone wouldn't have been impacted dramatically by the timing of those two things. I do think it's unfortunate though, that you have to be left with so much unresolved fear. Is there someone--a mentor, friend, fellow Buddhist that you could talk about this with?

"ever feel like you are supposed to be learning a lesson about something and the universe is screaming it at you but you don't get it?" May I say... everyday??

But I get this sense lil Jimi, and I wish I could articulate it better, that the meaning for you ultimately is a very positive one. That on the other side of this fear lies a joy in what the actual connection might mean. I hope I'm not overstepping-- please slap me if I am. I just think there is something very beautiful waiting for you, in another reflection of the mirror.

Thank you for indulging me my stress factors-- my misdocumented drama, my inadequate dx (that sounds so funny--even my diagnosis is inadequate!). I am off to...ta da...the ear doctor, so he can look at my lanced eustachian tube.

Thank you for writing.

 

Re: Oh, I've missed Everything ;(

Posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 12:29:14

In reply to Oh, I've missed Everything ;( (nm), posted by yesac on August 13, 2003, at 9:00:07

Hi yesac,
Nice to see you. What are your roommates like? When did you move in with them?

Roommates can be so difficult, but on the other hand you have built in company when you're getting along. I was feeling so isolated when I got up this morning, wishing I had a nice neighbor or something. At my last apt. I had friends in the building which worked out ideally; we all had our own space but we were near each other if we needed anything.

Well, off for the day---I'll check back after the ear doctor.

K.L.

 

re: KL and LJ » yesac

Posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 13:05:33

In reply to KL and LJ, posted by yesac on August 13, 2003, at 9:21:30

hi yesac!

> ... I feel special that you guys missed me last night! I left work at the usual 6:30 EST last night... don't have internet access at home so I'm usually online if I can be at work. Sometimes I go to the library or other places to get online too.
>

i miss you!
no internet at home ... ... hmmmm .... .... now that could be a good thing ... ... i used to do that ... ... i had internet access at home, but i wouldn't even turn the computer on there for a while ... ... ah, yes, it was that 1st year or so after robert santiago was born ... ... internet at work; parenting at home ...

> I'm feeling kind of okay. I ended up talking to one of my new roomates for several hours last night. That was good. Hopefully things will begin to feel more comfortable gradually. I'm not trying to rush it or push myself too much because I don't want to let myself get all stressed out about it. Hoping that in time, we'll just all feel comfortable living together.
>

glad to hear you're feeling okay-ish there.
now you've made me happy!
great to hear that you've got to settling in the roomies .... ... and good to hear that you're taking it easy there too ... ... easy does it, is my policy!

> But I wish I hadn't missed the whole conversation here last night!
>

oh, but dear heart, you haven't missed anything ... ... it's all right there in all it's glory to be read by one and all from now on to .... forever? .... .... <yikes!?>

> I know I'm jumping in kind of late here, but here are my thoughts:
>
> kL - Yeah, I don't know about that therapist. I mean, I'm not saying ditch him, because it's your decision, and it's all about how you feel... but I do think that if your initial reaction was so strong that you didn't really like or get much from him, well... sometimes with these things I just think you need to go with your gut. On the other hand, one more session probably couldn't hurt just to see if he's still the same or what he says if you tell him how you felt about his approach.
>

i agree!
if it were me, i'd go back and give him another shot ... ... but, being me, i'd just work him over about what approach would be acceptable and tell him that i'd be building a concensus with him about what would be and what wouldn't be effective .... .... if, as i strongly expect, he would be having a hard time with this, like he's not really up for it (he can dish it out, but he doesn't want to take it, like), then i'd say 'sayonara, baby!' ... Heh!

> LJ - I'm really sorry about your parents too. I had no idea (how would I, I guess?)
>

well, thank you ... of course you wouldn't know, sweet one ... ... ... your kind thoughts are appreciated ... ... losing my folks is the most apparent instigator for my depression.

> Now you guys have got me wondering about Lexapro. I've been on Celexa and Paxil, which both did nothing for me, so I've pretty much given up on SSRIs... but I don't know. I'm just so desperate now to find something that works.
>

and desperation can lead us to disaster or liberation ... ... or, in my case, even buddhism.
... ... but as i have proven, buddhism, by itself anyway, does not cure depression ....

so then there's those dang SSRIs and SNRI such as effexor ... ... so ... what to do?

i am SOOOOOO Grateful i haven't had to take prozac, paxil, effexor, zoloft ... ... et cetera ... or even celexa, related as it is to lexapro ...

sylvia was on paxil 10 or more years ago for anxiety ... ... bad, bad, bad ... ... she never got relief from her anxiety AND no one ever told her about side-effects ... ... so we suffered a long time because of her loss of libido ... .. ... she is still trying to recover ... .. ... so even if you put a gun to my head i wasn't going take no paxil, thank ye!

but that ol' lexapro i do believe can tone up and stabilize them serotonin levels .... .... if you can get through 3, 4 maybe 8 or 9 (!) weeks of whatever SEs the gods of torture may inflict on you ... then at maybe 3 or 4 or maybe 8 (!) weeks there can be the useful beneficial therapeutic effects ... ... it is enough to try the patience of a saint!

that ol' lex thread really does tell the tale of the folks who have struggled (and not-so-struggled, like me) with my favorite ssri ... ... i would only pray with all my buddhist might that lexapro could help you ... ... as long as i'm praying, i'd pray that lex would work for you as well as it has for me, PLEASE ... ...

got posts to read now and this to post to send ... so
Later,
~ jim

 

re: another life passed for us » yesac

Posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 15:55:05

In reply to re: another past life for us, posted by yesac on August 13, 2003, at 11:48:21

hi yesac,

> >the auto accident happened in st. pete, fl on june 3rd, 2002 and lama pema norbu was to arrive (did arrive) in austin on june 5th 2002 ... ... it was a little over a year ago .. ... .. funny thing to me
> > is that when i told my gp about my parents in march, she said (i'm way paraphrasing here) that they give us 6 months to recover from grief and i had had nine months, therefore i needed lex ...
> > ... and although i argue with that, a lot, i still feel like lex was/is a good thing for me.
>
> Who's "they"? I mean, what is 6 months like the official grieving period, and after that you are just supposed to get over it? That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard! Not to put down Dr. ?????-???... I'm sure it's what they teach them in medical school or residency or journals or whatever. I can just see it.... A Brief Guide to Grief as It Applies to Medicine: "Patients should be given exactly 6 months to recover from the death of people who have been there for their entire lives. If, after a MAXIMUM of 6 months, the patient is still showing symptoms of grief, then the patient must be depressed and therefore whip out a prescription so that you as the MD don't have to deal with it anymore."
>
> Oh well, maybe I'm overreacting a bit here. It just seems a little silly to put a time frame on it like that. As far as I know, grieving is a "process" that goes on for years and years, if not forever in some kind of way.
>

those are my sentiments exactly ... ... i related this to another poster who was dealing with grief and she was telling that in her jewish tradition, the Required grieving period was (at least?) a year ... .. ... there a jewish word for this grieving ... "Sitting _____" ... ... although i share your ire at such foolishly simplistic, absurdly formulaistic approach to grief, it has managed to work out for me ... ... but i do hear what you're saying .

thanks,
~ jim

 

re: another life passed for us

Posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 16:26:22

In reply to re: another life passed for us » yesac, posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 15:55:05

sitting shiva.

 

re: As These Lives Past » kara lynne

Posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 17:03:43

In reply to re: another past life for us/ lil jimi, posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 12:22:56

hi kara Lynne,

> Ah! Thank you for making clear the obvious. Of course that's what you might infer from the events--talk about top stressors. And it is still so fresh, really.
>

Hey, You're Welcome!
i try to offer the comfrimation that others can see and recognize your plight there ... and, babe, you got a doozy! ..... .... hang in there!

... xxx .... .... (yes, those are kisses) ...

> I don't quite understand the 6/9 months thing--does that mean grieving past 6 months makes you a candidate for meds? ( I can never get behind these time slots we're supposed to have for our emotions...) Well whatever the rationale it led you to something that works for you, and that's all that matters.
>

thanks ... that's how i see it too ... ... i have never heard anybody specify grieving times like that ... ... very irritating, yet now very minor, really ... ... just one more weird thing.

> I don't think your fears are the slightest bit silly; I don't see how someone wouldn't have been impacted dramatically by the timing of those two things. I do think it's unfortunate though, that you have to be left with so much unresolved fear. Is there someone--a mentor, friend, fellow Buddhist that you could talk about this with?
>

actually that remains an option for me ... ... i have friends at the buddhist temple where pema norbu visited ... ... i have intentionally put that off for the time being ... ... i suppose that my misgivings do amount to fear, but i hadn't thought of it that way .... yet.

and i have a friend over on the Faith board who has offered to do a channeling about this for me ...

> "ever feel like you are supposed to be learning a lesson about something and the universe is screaming it at you but you don't get it?"

May I say... everyday??
>

okay. ... it is a kind of weird feeling, you know?

> But I get this sense lil Jimi, and I wish I could articulate it better, that the meaning for you ultimately is a very positive one. That on the other side of this fear lies a joy in what the actual connection might mean. I hope I'm not overstepping-- please slap me if I am. I just think there is something very beautiful waiting for you, in another reflection of the mirror.
>

you, dear friend, could not overstep with me.
wonderful of you to offer such insightful, heartfelt, empathetic, beautiful sympathies ... .. ... thank you so much ...
... ... those are my feelings too, that there's a secret silver lining to my depression's dark cloud ... ... and i must learn from it ... ... .. ... it's just that it seems like it is so ... ... obvious and staring me in the face ... ... yet totally elusive ... ... for now

> Thank you for indulging me my stress factors-- my misdocumented drama, my inadequate dx (that sounds so funny--even my diagnosis is inadequate!). I am off to...ta da...the ear doctor, so he can look at my lanced eustachian tube.
>

Oh! ... Do take care of those ears! ... ... indulging you is easy ... .... you read me great!

> Thank you for writing.

hey, i thank you for reading ... me ... so well.
~ jim

 

ah, yes, of course ... thank you much, Kind Heart! (nm) » kara lynne

Posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 17:07:48

In reply to re: another life passed for us, posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 16:26:22

 

I got it! lil jimi...

Posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 17:51:46

In reply to ah, yes, of course ... thank you much, Kind Heart! (nm) » kara lynne, posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 17:07:48

We could start a Buddhist soap opera: Days of Our Past Lives...

Whaddya think?

 

re: I got it! lil jimi... » kara lynne

Posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 18:03:11

In reply to I got it! lil jimi..., posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 17:51:46

> We could start a Buddhist soap opera: Days of Our Past Lives...
>
> Whaddya think?
>
>

Excellent .... great potential ... ... writers could magnify and amplify the dramas between/among the characters with their recurrent issues through the ages ... ... great opportunity for flash backs ... dream sequences ... ... deja vu(s)
... ... i'm imagining multiple-time frame villians !
... terrific!

... ... and of course, the spin off:

... ... "Nights of Our Past Lives"
... .... for the adults

 

re: Karmatic Television...meditate on it...:) (nm)

Posted by lostsailor on August 13, 2003, at 19:46:13

In reply to re: I got it! lil jimi... » kara lynne, posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 18:03:11

 

re: I got it! lil jimi...

Posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 19:54:32

In reply to re: I got it! lil jimi... » kara lynne, posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 18:03:11

"Nights of Our Past Lives"

Ooooh, I love it!

 

.....Did you hear..about The Buddhist

Posted by gabbix2 on August 13, 2003, at 20:04:00

In reply to re: I got it! lil jimi..., posted by kara lynne on August 13, 2003, at 19:54:32

who went to a hot dog stand and asked the Vendor to make him one with everything?

Boooo!!

smack me.

 

re: .....Did you hear..about The Buddhist » gabbix2

Posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 22:54:17

In reply to .....Did you hear..about The Buddhist, posted by gabbix2 on August 13, 2003, at 20:04:00

> who went to a hot dog stand and asked the Vendor to make him one with everything?
>
> Boooo!!
>
> smack me.
>
>

Awwww.... ... ... Thank you!
... ... why don't we get more jokes around here?


 

Anyone here today?

Posted by yesac on August 14, 2003, at 11:52:09

In reply to re: another life passed for us » yesac, posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 15:55:05

Hi everybody!

I must say this thread's getting very long!! It makes me feel special - kind of ridiculous, but I like it when a thread I start or am integrally involved with gets to be so long!

I feel pretty good today, actually. Yesterday I felt pretty terrible. I saw my therapist and that was fine, but I just felt terrible. Went to Walmart and felt tremendously annoyed with the large crowds and the lack of chick peas and low fat sliced cheese and egg whites (it's not a super walmart so they only have a few aisles of food). I was gonna be so pissed off if they didn't have Equate brand Cetaphil - luckily, I got the last one. They didn't have my yarn again, and neither did Michael's. I don't know if I'll ever be able to finish my blanket. I might end up having to special order the yarn for heaven's sake!

Anyways, I was going to call my psychiatrist this morning to see if I can see him sooner than next Tuesday, but then I didn't have time before I left for work and I don't really want to do it from work. I still would like to see him sooner, because I am just so tired of waiting, thinking that if I give a drug another few days maybe it will do something. I mean, it's been 9 weeks and it hasn't done sh*t, so why should a few more days matter? I might as well just get off it right now. I hope I can see him tomorrow or at least Monday. I really want to discuss what to do next, because something needs to change.

How are you guys doing today?

It's really hot and humid here.

 

Re: Anyone here today?

Posted by kara lynne on August 14, 2003, at 13:15:10

In reply to Anyone here today?, posted by yesac on August 14, 2003, at 11:52:09

Hi yesac,
Glad you're feeling better today. Large crowds and lack of chick peas would annnoy anyone.

What med are you on now? Nine weeks seems like a pretty good trial--although some might argue. But even a dosage adjustment might help. Maybe you can sneak in a call to the doc from work--otherwise Tuesday isn't too far off.

I feel worse as the weekend nears. For some reason it makes me think of my ex more, what he's doing, who he's with. I'm trying to bring the focus back to myself, but I don't like it there. I wish I had more weekend options, or friends to hang out with. Real friends.

It's suffocating hot here. I still haven't unpacked, and I realized one of the reasons is because I don't completely want to be here. I think subconsciously I still have my bags packed (although you couldn't pay me to move again right now). The people next to me are a bunch of cigarette smoking 80's relics--- the 18 year old sounds like he's talking through a megaphone.

I feel like I'm living in a trailor park.

Aaahh.

 

Jimi, I know you're around!! come talk to me! (nm) » lil' jimi

Posted by yesac on August 14, 2003, at 13:15:13

In reply to re: .....Did you hear..about The Buddhist » gabbix2, posted by lil' jimi on August 13, 2003, at 22:54:17

 

re: Anyone here today?

Posted by lil' jimi on August 14, 2003, at 14:01:56

In reply to Anyone here today?, posted by yesac on August 14, 2003, at 11:52:09

hi yesac!

i'm here! ... ... good to read you!

> Hi everybody!
>
> I must say this thread's getting very long!! It makes me feel special - kind of ridiculous, but I like it when a thread I start or am integrally involved with gets to be so long!
>
> I feel pretty good today, actually. Yesterday I felt pretty terrible. I saw my therapist and that was fine, but I just felt terrible. Went to Walmart and felt tremendously annoyed with the large crowds and the lack of chick peas and low fat sliced cheese and egg whites (it's not a super walmart so they only have a few aisles of food). I was gonna be so pissed off if they didn't have Equate brand Cetaphil - luckily, I got the last one. They didn't have my yarn again, and neither did Michael's. I don't know if I'll ever be able to finish my blanket. I might end up having to special order the yarn for heaven's sake!
>
> Anyways, I was going to call my psychiatrist this morning to see if I can see him sooner than next Tuesday, but then I didn't have time before I left for work and I don't really want to do it from work. I still would like to see him sooner, because I am just so tired of waiting, thinking that if I give a drug another few days maybe it will do something. I mean, it's been 9 weeks and it hasn't done sh*t, so why should a few more days matter? I might as well just get off it right now. I hope I can see him tomorrow or at least Monday. I really want to discuss what to do next, because something needs to change.
>
> How are you guys doing today?
>
> It's really hot and humid here.

... ... and really glad you're feeling better there ... ...
... ... sorry your med hasn't been helpful ... ... parnate, right?
... ... good luck with your doc there ....

we went from surface of the sun HOT late last week TO tropical monsoon jungle rain forest this week and for the next week ... ... have had the blessing of an inch of rain yesterday with 70% chance today and more to come ....
... thunderstorms and rainy here in austin ...

love,
~ jim


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