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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 33 to 57 of 59. Go back in thread:
Posted by ayuda on May 11, 2003, at 10:50:10
In reply to Re: tx for the kindness but we need to end this thread » ayuda, posted by Greg on May 11, 2003, at 2:11:53
Greg - I hope you are doing well, also, haven't chatted in a while.
I understand all of what you are saying, however the issue is one of personal agency. If Beardy says, I want no one to talk about me behind my back, and PB is "behind my back" because I refuse to go there anymore, and she has asked her friends who do "go there" to post that, then thost are her wishes, to be questioned by no one.
At Beardy's request, you all will have to withhold your curiosity. This isn't my decision, and I don't know how to control others, but I was asked as a friend to post it, and then Beardy expects that her will be done. If that is what she wants, then why question it? I kind of think it's rude to question someone's decision when it is such a touchy topic with them. In her estimation, your curiosity, even if it is well-intentioned, is not as important as her peace of mind.
I understand you all care and are curious about her -- but to her, that isn't the point. I equate how she feels about this with the idea of some strange psycho-guy fantasizing about being with me. Can I stop him from thinking about me? No. Does it make my skin crawl to think what he's thinking about me? Yes. The only thing I can do is ask him to stop it, but I have no control over it. So it is with Beardy. She just wants it all to stop.
I'm not trying to be insensitive -- all I am saying is that is her request, and if people really like her and care about her, then please honor her request. Maybe someday she'll get over the problems she has with this board and come back, but she needs to feel cleansed right now. Please don't question that, she (not me, I am just doing this -- and taking the heat for it -- for her at her request) is begging that of all you. I just really hope you all understand, this is really bothering her.
Posted by ayuda on May 11, 2003, at 10:55:15
In reply to Re: Oh, Tony, I hope you're not insulted---ayuda, posted by lostsailor on May 11, 2003, at 7:16:53
Thank you! I hope you have a special day, too.
This year, I was able to get my mom something special she's never had (I like bragging about this, it's rare that I get to do these kinds of things for my family, I'm usually so strapped for cash). She loves jewelry, so I had custom made a mother's ring, with the birthstones of her three children and three grandchildren. It is set in yellow gold with diamond accents, and didn't break the bank! I ordered it and had it sent directly to her a couple of weeks ago, so I've never seen it.
I will pass along your Mother's Day wishes to Beardy.
Posted by fayeroe on May 11, 2003, at 12:34:56
In reply to Re: tx for the kindness but we need to end this thread » Greg, posted by ayuda on May 11, 2003, at 10:50:10
I've been asked, as I've told you, to ask people to quit posting about Beardy and just let her be. Whatever her reasons are, it's her choice. It's for her well-being and that is what is paramount. So, with this posting, could this thread stop? I feel as though Ayuda and I have explained it in depth and surely everyone can respect her wishes and drop it. I will pass your well-wishes along to Beardy. Just please quit posting and stop the thread. Thanks a lot, Fayeroe
Posted by Dinah on May 11, 2003, at 12:39:18
In reply to Re: tx for the kindness but we need to end this thread » Greg, posted by ayuda on May 11, 2003, at 10:50:10
To process our reactions to be compared to an icky, skin crawling causing, cyber stalker?
Posted by gabbix2 on May 11, 2003, at 14:11:57
In reply to Re; Ok, but can we start a new thread?, posted by Dinah on May 11, 2003, at 12:39:18
Geez
Posted by Dinah on May 11, 2003, at 14:28:30
In reply to I'll think twice before I askwhere Ted is again !, posted by gabbix2 on May 11, 2003, at 14:11:57
Posted by gabbix2 on May 11, 2003, at 14:32:55
In reply to Re: Was that this thread? Ah, the twists and turns (nm) » gabbix2, posted by Dinah on May 11, 2003, at 14:28:30
Its just that this all started with someone asking where Beardy was, boy you just never know do you?
Posted by shar on May 11, 2003, at 14:51:15
In reply to tx for the kindness but we need to end this thread, posted by ayuda on May 10, 2003, at 20:00:28
>people like shar and
> linguine are the problem.> ...and then there
> are posters like shar and linguine and
> others (we know who the usual suspects are)
> who insist on making others feel put-down.Wow, I find this so offensive; primarily because I'm being accused via hearsay that I ran somebody off (somebody I'm fond of), and being included in "the usual suspects" who everyone knows (except me, I guess, because I didn't realize I was so obnoxious).
[If I could have made this another thread I would have, so as to honor the wishes of the kind people looking out for the person who is the subject of this thread; however, I don't know how to make a response within a thread into a new thread.]
I am truly surprised, and honestly don't know what I did to the person who evidently I ran off.
However, since this is an international board, and the justice system rules of the U.S. don't apply (being able to confront one's accuser), plus it is a private board so the only rules that apply are Dr. Bob's...I will assume it is just some sort of horrible misunderstanding.
Still, this all makes me wistful for directness and honesty from others (well, let me qualify that...directly from the others involved, if accusations are involved).
Shar
Posted by shar on May 11, 2003, at 14:53:00
In reply to shar, please don't ever post to me or about me (nm) » fayeroe, posted by ayuda on May 10, 2003, at 20:01:14
Posted by ayuda on May 11, 2003, at 15:50:31
In reply to Re; Ok, but can we start a new thread?, posted by Dinah on May 11, 2003, at 12:39:18
> To process our reactions to be compared to an icky, skin crawling causing, cyber stalker?
That is not what I meant, and that was taken out of context. I am talking about someone's feelings here!!!!!!!!!!
And I wasn't talking about cyber-stalking -- how do people just make up things out of nowhere?My god, now I understand why she has zoned off this board, you people take the cake.
I am going to where in the heck she is.
Posted by justyourlaugh on May 11, 2003, at 15:52:23
In reply to Re: tx for the kindness....Kindness? Where?, posted by shar on May 11, 2003, at 14:51:15
my heavens,,,
ive read all the posts.
i dont get it???
only good things were said about beardy...
if she (sorry hun)does not want people to remember her....then mabe she should not look...
beardy you are great...people see that and are concerned...thats all it is...
you have touched us...and will not be forgotton
j
Posted by gabbix2 on May 11, 2003, at 15:53:24
In reply to Re: tx for the kindness....Kindness? Where?, posted by shar on May 11, 2003, at 14:51:15
How can you stay so rational when you are in the twilight zone?...
I wanted to say, well, you know. I think you are very supportive, and kind, and thoughtful and funny and intelligent, and where the hell that crack about you thriving on putting people down came from is beyond me. Really. And I refuse to think about it any longer, because it would be lending credibility to it.
Posted by fayeroe on May 11, 2003, at 15:59:12
In reply to Oh No it wasn't Dinah, posted by gabbix2 on May 11, 2003, at 14:32:55
> Its just that this all started with someone asking where Beardy was, boy you just never know do you?
no, you don't.......because i posted a subject heading right after that question that said she was fine..........but it couldn't stop there. so, boy, you NEVER know when people just can't leave well enough alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
Posted by fayeroe on May 11, 2003, at 16:07:38
In reply to Re: Oh No it wasn't Dinah » gabbix2, posted by fayeroe on May 11, 2003, at 15:59:12
I have one more thing to add.......why is it ANY of OUR business why someone left and wants to be left alone? WHY? Isn't there something else you could be doing today? I personally don't care how you feel about anyone trying to protect Beardy...she wants no messages from here, no input, no links, nothing. What part of that is so hard to understand? Get each other's e.mail addresses and beat the horse to death!!! Enough!
Posted by gabbix2 on May 11, 2003, at 16:16:13
In reply to Re: Oh No it wasn't Dinah, posted by fayeroe on May 11, 2003, at 16:07:38
You got ALL that out of my post to Dinah
and you wonder if I don't have anything better to do?
Posted by fayeroe on May 11, 2003, at 16:28:18
In reply to Re: Oh No it wasn't Dinah » fayeroe, posted by gabbix2 on May 11, 2003, at 16:16:13
> You got ALL that out of my post to Dinah
> and you wonder if I don't have anything better to do? WHY could this not be enough??URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030506/msgs/224895.html
Posted by Dinah on May 11, 2003, at 18:38:24
In reply to Re: Re; Ok, but can we start a new thread? » Dinah, posted by ayuda on May 11, 2003, at 15:50:31
"I equate how she feels about this with the idea of some strange psycho-guy fantasizing about being with me. Can I stop him from thinking about me? No. Does it make my skin crawl to think what he's thinking about me? Yes."
You're right. I'm sorry. Cyber stalker was never mentioned. It was strange psycho-guy. I'm sorry for the error. I was a bit upset that anyone would think of my kind regards in that manner. Or anyone else's. But I am sorry for extrapolating.
This actually came up for me once. I had to leave the board for a while once, and came back to find a fair amount of speculation. And yes, it was unsettling. But I did understand the kindness and concern that was behind many of the posts, and I certainly wasn't angry with those who posted with those intentions.
I'm not sure how to say this without mentioning anyone, but really this level of protectiveness is not necessary with the vast majority of posters here who feel nothing but fondness and respect. And speaking for myself only, I am a bit hurt at having that fondness depicted as something ugly. Unless I am misunderstanding. And I certainly am open to the possibility that I am indeed misunderstanding the simile.
Posted by Dinah on May 11, 2003, at 18:49:40
In reply to Re: Re; I'm sorry, I mispoke. » ayuda, posted by Dinah on May 11, 2003, at 18:38:24
It's awfully hard to work out misunderstandings otherwise. Because there simply *has* to be misunderstandings on this thread.
Posted by gabbix2 on May 11, 2003, at 18:51:12
In reply to Re: Oh No it wasn't Dinah » gabbix2, posted by fayeroe on May 11, 2003, at 16:28:18
the subject had it referring to my post to Dinah, which is where I got confused.
Posted by Dinah on May 11, 2003, at 19:05:39
In reply to Re: Re; Ok, but can we start a new thread? » Dinah, posted by ayuda on May 11, 2003, at 15:50:31
I'm willing to understand that I misunderstood that simile. And I'll apologize for my post in its entirety. It really did hurt my feelings, you know. And my post was an extension of that.
But I think there's the potential for my feelings to be hurt a whole lot more if this discussion continues. :(
Again, I appreciate your loyalty and protectiveness.
Posted by shar on May 11, 2003, at 20:42:11
In reply to Shar.., posted by gabbix2 on May 11, 2003, at 15:53:24
Posted by gabbix2 on May 11, 2003, at 22:30:47
In reply to Thank you, Gabbix and Greg (nm), posted by shar on May 11, 2003, at 20:42:11
Posted by WorryGirl on May 12, 2003, at 12:38:49
In reply to Where's Beardy?, posted by BekkaH on May 5, 2003, at 20:01:06
> I wonder where Bearded Lady is. I haven't seen her in a while.
I just read most of the follow up posts to this. She seemed like a really sweet, caring, and funny person to me. She also responded to a few of my posts with answers that I appreciated.
I'm sorry to hear that she won't be posting again.
Posted by Pfinstegg on May 12, 2003, at 16:24:08
In reply to Re: Where's Beardy?, posted by WorryGirl on May 12, 2003, at 12:38:49
This is the saddest thread I have ever read here. It started with someone inquiring about a poster many of us love to hear from- a positive, well-meant question. The friendly tone of it apparently wasn't recognized, as it was received as a somehow hostile, excessive show of interest. Then, the people who originally had inquired with friendly interest were naturally hurt, and one or two responded in a slightly hostile manner. Then everyone was cautioned to be civil, leaving several, at least, to feel misunderstood- and silenced. As the thread goes on, everyone is sounding miserable, hurt, and angry- the natural reaction to having your friendly caring intentions thrown back at you as hostile and unwelcome- and to becoming angry and disappointed oneself.
We all need one another. Is there a way to pull this thread out, and get it honest and caring, the way it started?
Pfinstegg
.
Posted by fayeroe on May 12, 2003, at 20:50:43
In reply to Re: Where's Beardy?, posted by WorryGirl on May 12, 2003, at 12:38:49
I'll pass your message on to her. Thanks, Fayeroe
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