Posted by ayuda on May 11, 2003, at 10:50:10
In reply to Re: tx for the kindness but we need to end this thread » ayuda, posted by Greg on May 11, 2003, at 2:11:53
Greg - I hope you are doing well, also, haven't chatted in a while.
I understand all of what you are saying, however the issue is one of personal agency. If Beardy says, I want no one to talk about me behind my back, and PB is "behind my back" because I refuse to go there anymore, and she has asked her friends who do "go there" to post that, then thost are her wishes, to be questioned by no one.
At Beardy's request, you all will have to withhold your curiosity. This isn't my decision, and I don't know how to control others, but I was asked as a friend to post it, and then Beardy expects that her will be done. If that is what she wants, then why question it? I kind of think it's rude to question someone's decision when it is such a touchy topic with them. In her estimation, your curiosity, even if it is well-intentioned, is not as important as her peace of mind.
I understand you all care and are curious about her -- but to her, that isn't the point. I equate how she feels about this with the idea of some strange psycho-guy fantasizing about being with me. Can I stop him from thinking about me? No. Does it make my skin crawl to think what he's thinking about me? Yes. The only thing I can do is ask him to stop it, but I have no control over it. So it is with Beardy. She just wants it all to stop.
I'm not trying to be insensitive -- all I am saying is that is her request, and if people really like her and care about her, then please honor her request. Maybe someday she'll get over the problems she has with this board and come back, but she needs to feel cleansed right now. Please don't question that, she (not me, I am just doing this -- and taking the heat for it -- for her at her request) is begging that of all you. I just really hope you all understand, this is really bothering her.
poster:ayuda
thread:224581
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030506/msgs/225804.html