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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on October 6, 2002, at 16:17:40
It's such an odd condition. Thursday I was feeling awful, having problems with self injury, anxious and agitated.
Friday was better and Saturday better yet, and today I actually felt the music playing on my car radio. That's a fairly good indicator that I'm feeling pretty good, not at all manic, but just plain feeling good. I enjoyed my son and husband today, and smiled at things I'm supposed to smile at.
It's so strange that things can change so quickly. I'm not complaining, mind you (at least not when the change is up), but I feel almost like a different person. This is the person I want to be. Thursday seems so long ago, like a different lifetime.
Well, I'm going to go put on all my favorite CD's and records and enjoy being able to feel the music. And I'm going to go out with my son while he rides his bike and enjoy watching him enjoy himself. I love the good days.
Posted by Ginjoint on October 6, 2002, at 18:25:25
In reply to Cyclothymia, posted by Dinah on October 6, 2002, at 16:17:40
> I love the good days.
Dontcha just? Everything seems calm and RIGHT. I am curious, though...do you have any inkling what might have lifted your mood, or was it just because?
Ginjoint
Posted by Ted on October 6, 2002, at 19:24:51
In reply to Cyclothymia, posted by Dinah on October 6, 2002, at 16:17:40
> I love the good days.
What are they? Oh yeah! I had two of them about six weeks ago. Hmmmm ... what a fleeting memory.
Ted
Posted by madison88 on October 7, 2002, at 3:08:47
In reply to Re: Cyclothymia » Dinah, posted by Ted on October 6, 2002, at 19:24:51
i have moments of pure bliss that last usually an hour or two maybe once a week. While i am in them, i just can't understand why i would hurt myself, why i have scabs on my arms and how i ever could have done it. It is usually b/c of an unexpected good moment, like getting a high grade on a paper and having the prof say he loved it, or finally getting my money from the school that should have been sent two months ago. i get so excited i have to talk to someone and talk and talk and talk. leave messages on answering machines just saying high and isn't it great to be alive!? i get this warm feeling spreading out from my chest and i feel like i am in total control of all my shit. it is nice to think so those couple hours. Then, back to reality. back to my dysthymic self.
Posted by Dinah on October 7, 2002, at 7:51:17
In reply to Re: Cyclothymia, posted by Ginjoint on October 6, 2002, at 18:25:25
I don't know of any external cause, so I'd just have to say "just because".
Of course, I get back to work today, and if I can hold on to it through a week of work, I'll be positive it's "just because".
I've always enjoyed that about mood instability. You just can't anticipate when the good days will come, so they seem more precious.
Posted by Dinah on October 7, 2002, at 7:51:58
In reply to Re: Cyclothymia » Dinah, posted by Ted on October 6, 2002, at 19:24:51
I'm going to enjoy them for however long they last.
Posted by Ted on October 7, 2002, at 12:09:10
In reply to Re: Well....., posted by Dinah on October 7, 2002, at 7:51:58
> I'm going to enjoy them for however long they last.
And please make them last as long as possible!
ted
Posted by shar on October 9, 2002, at 11:58:47
In reply to Re: Well..... » Dinah, posted by Ted on October 7, 2002, at 12:09:10
My dx is dysthymia, and I have bouts of severe depression also (some people call that double depression, I think), however.....
If I find myself in a situation (let's say my therapy group, one of the few places I go), where people are funny I thoroughly enjoy a good laugh even tho an hour ago I might have been at home and suicidal. That can happen on the phone with friends, too, and then when it's all over, and I'm back at home, the depression etc. creeps back.
This rarely happens at my parttime job, I tend to do more crying than laughing there (but never in front of customers! I hold it til my 15 minute break). But, even there, if someone makes a good joke I laugh and enjoy it.
So, it seems my mood can be affected short-term by external stuff, but I never had days (or even one day) of feeling good like that.
Anybody know what that is? Is that cyclothymia?
Thanks,
Shar
Posted by Dinah on October 9, 2002, at 15:51:10
In reply to Wondering about Ups and Downs, posted by shar on October 9, 2002, at 11:58:47
I've been diagnosed with cyclothymia, and I can only describe what mine feels like. It's mostly feeling not great but not horrible with a fair amount of anxiety, a week or two or three at a time of feeling way too good (accompanied by decreased need for sleep, increased spending, and feeling very quick witted), a week or two at a time of feeling groggy and unable to wake up at all, and about every eight weeks or so a nasty meltdown that is full of anxiety, agitation, and suicidal or self injury urges.
I have had long periods of feeling depressed in my life, the sort of depression that you think of as being depresssed. The longest was postpartum. But normally I'm not what I would consider depressed, although personality testing and depression tests show depression.
There is also a fair amount of interpersonal sensitivity that also seems to have a cyclical component.
That's just my experience, and I don't know how typical it is. But I hope that helps. What you describe doesn't "sound" like cyclothymia to me, but I'm no expert.
Dinah
Posted by Ritch on October 10, 2002, at 0:08:23
In reply to Wondering about Ups and Downs, posted by shar on October 9, 2002, at 11:58:47
> My dx is dysthymia, and I have bouts of severe depression also (some people call that double depression, I think), however.....
>
> If I find myself in a situation (let's say my therapy group, one of the few places I go), where people are funny I thoroughly enjoy a good laugh even tho an hour ago I might have been at home and suicidal. That can happen on the phone with friends, too, and then when it's all over, and I'm back at home, the depression etc. creeps back.
>
> This rarely happens at my parttime job, I tend to do more crying than laughing there (but never in front of customers! I hold it til my 15 minute break). But, even there, if someone makes a good joke I laugh and enjoy it.
>
> So, it seems my mood can be affected short-term by external stuff, but I never had days (or even one day) of feeling good like that.
>
> Anybody know what that is? Is that cyclothymia?
>
> Thanks,
> Shar
Shar,That sounds like me in my late teens/early twenties. It could be a rapid-cycling variant of bipolar of some kind. I also used to be hyper-reactive to my environment. Until I tried anticonvulsant antimanic agents, that problem hung around. There were times when I was working when I felt like I would have to leave because I couldn't control my impulse to cry about something. I would just feel this sudden DOWN, DOWN, DOWN pull which I couldn't control. I just WANTED TO DIE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AT THAT MOMENT. Of course, that feeling did change given a little time (a couple of hours, i.e.). But, that feeling of being drawn into a Black Hole didn't go away without the right meds. Also, during seasonal bipolar depressions, I noticed that people or events could make me temporarily "snap-out" of the depression and feel better, but there was this elasticity of sorts that snapped me right back into it.
Mitch
Posted by Jaye on October 10, 2002, at 15:57:30
In reply to Re: Wondering about Ups and Downs » shar, posted by Ritch on October 10, 2002, at 0:08:23
What a mystery these moods are...or else I just haven't read the post yet that has the answer : ) !
I started with an interesting therapist several weeks ago. {{I'm 54 and have been doing the up and down routine my whole life, but have been having more episodes as I get older. Either menopause or going through my daughter's teen years with with her--she has the same affliction-- has perhaps made things worse (((stress)))----Anyway, I'm starting to wonder if this can be managed without Rx. I can get about 3 or 4 "good" days from a session with a this therapist. He helps me remember who I am and has suggested daily meditation to keep in touch with the deeper self which can support and keep things in the healing mode. This has help immensely, and when I complained about bouts of emptiness or crying during the day he said it is just the way I am and gave me visualizations to help get through the mental pain which hits several times a day. No meds and watch the diet (sugars). He said it hurts because I'm "awake" and I have a choice to go through life awake , which can be painful,or use meds to shut down. Sounds like the old "no pain, no gain" routine. Anyway, that's my two cents for today.
Thoughts on this, anyone?
Posted by Gracie2 on October 10, 2002, at 22:23:08
In reply to Wondering about Ups and Downs, posted by shar on October 9, 2002, at 11:58:47
Hi Shar-
Sounds to me like your basic makeup includes a good sense of humor, which is surely an anchor even in a stormy sea.
I am much the same way - don't get out to enjoy myself much, although I'm not house-bound. I shop,
I do family stuff, I do medical work PRN and make extra money by selling used books on amazon. This is good for me because I have to get dressed and leave the house to go to the post office and to thrift shops, to buy more books. I guess that selling books on the internet is getting more popular, because I often have to share my "personal space" with other people who sometimes grab books from the shelf right in front of me.Anyway, this afternoon I was stacking books in front of the cashier at the thrift shop, and she picked up a book called "Tommy's Tale", which showed a pair of men's legs, wearing socks and shoes but no pants, hanging over the side of a bathtub. The cashier turned the book around to show me the cover and deadpanned, "Been there, done that."
She caught me unawares and I burst out with a great horse-laugh. She started laughing too and said, "I guess it's a terrible thing to admit...".
I said, "I would admit it too if I could remember it," and we both ended up cackling like hyenas. I guess it's a clue that the last time I laughed like that, it was the week before at another thrift store with another cashier. She picked up a book called something like "How To Make A Man Fall In Love With You," and she said, "Hmmm, how to make a man love you," then she gave me a wicked smile and said, "Treat him like shit!"
I said, "Is that the answer!" and we laughed like hell.The only thing I can think of is that as long as I'm with honest, unpretensious people, I can let my guard down and my sense of humor comes through
the swamp of paranoia and rickety self-esteem.
-Gracie
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