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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by automatedlady on July 2, 2002, at 11:16:39
Had depression in varying degrees for the past 6 years, in the last couple of months its reached a new low. Been put on TCA Lofepramine, so far with no change. To make matters even more amusing, I'm supposed to be starting a new job on Monday, one that (in theory) I've been working towards all mylife. I can't do it. I am thinking that i will have to kill myself or run away from this situation (to get away from my boyfriend and family, who keep telling me i CAN do this). I'm not going to go into details of my symptoms but basicaly I can't see much point carrying on. I don't know why I'm bothering to write this here, except that I have no one else to tell. I've moved towns (in order to start my new job) and don't have a doctor or any friends here. My boyfriend, basically, is just sick of me and I can't really blame him. My parents worry so much about me I can't make things worse for them (and my mother is depressed herself). Anyway, they get angry with me if I tell them how I really feel. out of time now (in internet cafe), but writing that down did give me some relief...
Thanks for reading - AL
Posted by fi on July 2, 2002, at 12:35:36
In reply to Worst Ever Depression - Help, posted by automatedlady on July 2, 2002, at 11:16:39
I'll keep this short to save your internet time.
Please, if possible, dont panic. How long have you been on the new meds? As you may know, they can take a few weeks to work properly.
You can talk to a 'suicide hotline'- find a local one via the Befrienders site at http://www.befrienders.org/bidir/centre.html.
Their are more resources at the 'coping with crisis' links (see top of page or go to url http://groups.yahoo.com/group/psycho-babble-tips/links/Coping_with_crisis_001012507973)
Finding yourself a doctor is another high priority.
Sympathies re family/friends- they are obviously trying to be supportive but arent getting it right (I'm sure a lot of us know all too much about that!)
I once had to take the first couple of weeks off sick from a new job. People get ill, including at the start of jobs. I felt embarrassed ringing up off sick and awkward starting 'late', but the boss was OK with it. So if you cant face work, that's an option. I'm not saying you *should* do it, just that you can if you need to.
Lots of luck.
Fi
Posted by shar on July 3, 2002, at 4:13:46
In reply to Re: Worst Ever Depression - Help » automatedlady, posted by fi on July 2, 2002, at 12:35:36
AL,
one of the constants around here seems to be an amazing ability to endure. Your situation reflects so many EXTERNAL stressors (moving, a new job, rough patch with beau)--those are all biggies. Then adding in the INTERNAL struggle of depression.....As I said, an amazing ability to endure. That may be why your parents and beau are so certain you will do well, because you always have before. My bet is they don't really understand how debilitating it is to FEEL the symptoms of depression, and live with the thoughts going on in our heads. It takes a *push* akin to the Phoenix rising to keep moving and striving in spite of it all.
If you want suggestions or help you've come to the right place.
I hope you'll keep in touch, and I'll send good thoughts in your direction. This is a great place to 'vent' and talk/write even if you're not asking for advice. If nothing else, you are among people who can understand and accept how bad all this crap can feel.
Shar
Posted by Automated Lady on July 4, 2002, at 10:36:00
In reply to Re: Worst Ever Depression - Help, posted by shar on July 3, 2002, at 4:13:46
Hi - thanks for the support. I already did postpone starting work by a week (although mainly due to physical illness) - if I'd had to start this Monday there's no way I could have done it. I have strongly considered putting off for longer or even not taking the job at all, but I kind of think that the longer I'm sitting around on my own the more unhappy I'm going to get. And turning the job down would make me feel like a failure. I think I'm just going to start on Monday and see what happens. If it all goes wrong then at least I can say I tried. A friend of mine has a "two week rule" about new situations so I'm going with that.
Trying to get a doctor as well (always REALLY difficult in the UK because everywhere's always full up). If I could get myself referred to a pdoc I think that would really help, but I think it's unlikely to happen unless I actually try and kill myself. So sick of antidepressants that don't work and give you loads of awful side effects. The lofepramine is currently making me feel dizzy and lightheaded whenever I move and last night I was so spaced out I was slurring my speech and forgetting people were there. That's gonna look great on my first day.. I'm even having serious doubts about whether I actually want to do this job at all. Although I've always thought it was what I wanted to do, in actual fact it's what my PARENTS told me I wanted to do when I was very young. It's amazing how stuff like that influences you and you don't remember till years later. What I really want to do is related, but more difficult to get into and produces less of a steady income. I was just saying to someone the other day that I wished I lived in the States because you can get further away from your parents there. ;-) Anyway. Not in as bad a state as the other day. Best wishes
AL
Posted by Fi on July 5, 2002, at 4:50:01
In reply to Re: Worst Ever Depression - Help, posted by Automated Lady on July 4, 2002, at 10:36:00
Lots of luck on Monday.
Just a few practical things:
Finding a GP- you could try asking a local pharmacist which GP practices are in your geographical area. I realise its a pain re them sometimes being full. Another option for details is the local Community Health Council (the NHS patients watchdog).If they arent in the phone book, their Association will have contact details for local CHC(email mailbox@achcew.org.uk or telephone 020 7609 8405). CHCs arent allowed to recommend GPs, but one once told me that there are 'ways of saying things!'
Psychiatrist: once you have a GP, they can get you to see one urgently if they think its necessary. So it depends on how the GP assesses your mental state, but that doesnt just depend on whether you have attempted suicide.
Meantime, there are more informal but expert sources of support. I'm sure you've heard of the Samaritans, for example (dial 08457 90 90 90).
Hang on in there.
Fi
Posted by LostBoyinNC1 on July 10, 2002, at 22:54:44
In reply to Worst Ever Depression - Help, posted by automatedlady on July 2, 2002, at 11:16:39
> Had depression in varying degrees for the past 6 years, in the last couple of months its reached a new low. Been put on TCA Lofepramine, so far with no change. To make matters even more amusing, I'm supposed to be starting a new job on Monday, one that (in theory) I've been working towards all mylife. I can't do it. I am thinking that i will have to kill myself or run away from this situation (to get away from my boyfriend and family, who keep telling me i CAN do this). I'm not going to go into details of my symptoms but basicaly I can't see much point carrying on. I don't know why I'm bothering to write this here, except that I have no one else to tell. I've moved towns (in order to start my new job) and don't have a doctor or any friends here. My boyfriend, basically, is just sick of me and I can't really blame him. My parents worry so much about me I can't make things worse for them (and my mother is depressed herself). Anyway, they get angry with me if I tell them how I really feel. out of time now (in internet cafe), but writing that down did give me some relief...
> Thanks for reading - AL
How can you work and have a boyfriend if you have "severe depression?" Normally people with untreated severe depression are disabled and have low sex drives and arent the most sociable people.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2002, at 10:14:23
In reply to Re: Worst Ever Depression - Help, posted by LostBoyinNC1 on July 10, 2002, at 22:54:44
> How can you work and have a boyfriend if you have "severe depression?"
I understand that others use "severe" differently, but the idea here is to be supportive, so I'm going to block you from posting again.
Bob
Posted by Bookgurl99 on July 11, 2002, at 16:09:47
In reply to Worst Ever Depression - Help, posted by automatedlady on July 2, 2002, at 11:16:39
This is the end of the thread.
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