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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ELA on April 5, 2002, at 3:39:04
All I can think about right now is drinking again. Don't know where it's come from or why but it's grabbing hold of my mind more and more at the moment.
Tonight I am going to a meeting where I will get my 90 days clean time key ring. Good achievement huh? I am very proud of myself because of this but drink is all that I can see in my head, especially the demon VODKA.
If someone knows how to make non-alcoholic vodka please let me know cos I love the stuff!
I keep dreaming about going out and getting pissed and just walking around by myself and getting pissed. It's all a bit odd as I'm feeling pretty happy and ok generally, the alcohol is just in the back of my mind, though.
I will share this at the meeting tonight but it doesn't always work for me to do that. I can't think of any reason why I would relapse just now but it's a bit of a worry all the same. Relapse to me would be a disaster as the last time I was there I hit rock bottom and the suicide thing happened, as did my cutting again. Don't want to go there again.
Emma.
Posted by Zo on April 5, 2002, at 3:52:44
In reply to dark pit that is relapse, posted by ELA on April 5, 2002, at 3:39:04
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 5, 2002, at 6:18:42
In reply to dark pit that is relapse, posted by ELA on April 5, 2002, at 3:39:04
Hi Emma,
Yeh I dream of the demon also but only during bad times - I'm perusing the wine shelves in indecisive panic and the store is about to close then I wake up and the dream lingers.
Relapses do happen ..that doesn't mean it's ok : )
Think I've been sober for over 3 years now and had just one relapse (here's where I give myself a pat on the back)
Recently had some jamaican chocolate with 5% real jamaican rum and I'm sure I got bit pissed -ate the damn lot!...the taste for drink returned .
So easy to get and escape into instant bliss (which is short-lived) but living with myself afterwards..
It ain't easy but worth the struggle.take care..
dreamer x
Posted by ELA on April 5, 2002, at 9:35:32
In reply to Congrats 4 90! (nm) » ELA, posted by Zo on April 5, 2002, at 3:52:44
Posted by Shar on April 6, 2002, at 0:28:48
In reply to dark pit that is relapse, posted by ELA on April 5, 2002, at 3:39:04
Hearty congratulations on your 90 days. I've heard it called '90 days and a thousand nights.' It can be a tough period. Actually, being sober can be a tough period.
I'm coming up on 14 years in June. One thing I know is that my urges to drink never have to be related to something in particular. Who knows, it could be something someone said a week ago and wormed its way into my subconscious, and ta-daaaa!
Or, it could just be genetics or the influence of the moon and pluto. (The dog, not the planet.)I like those sayings the old-timers say at meetings sometimes, like, I'm one drink away from a drunk. It never hurts to be aware that thru life, for whatever reasons, those cravings can hit, and be so strong! Best of luck to you, and congrats again--the first year will put ya through some changes, you have a lot of courage.
Shar
> All I can think about right now is drinking again. Don't know where it's come from or why but it's grabbing hold of my mind more and more at the moment.
>
> Tonight I am going to a meeting where I will get my 90 days clean time key ring. Good achievement huh? I am very proud of myself because of this but drink is all that I can see in my head, especially the demon VODKA.
>
> If someone knows how to make non-alcoholic vodka please let me know cos I love the stuff!
>
> I keep dreaming about going out and getting pissed and just walking around by myself and getting pissed. It's all a bit odd as I'm feeling pretty happy and ok generally, the alcohol is just in the back of my mind, though.
>
> I will share this at the meeting tonight but it doesn't always work for me to do that. I can't think of any reason why I would relapse just now but it's a bit of a worry all the same. Relapse to me would be a disaster as the last time I was there I hit rock bottom and the suicide thing happened, as did my cutting again. Don't want to go there again.
>
> Emma.
This is the end of the thread.
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