![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by nightlight on December 30, 2001, at 14:16:08
Hi all
Sorry to yell, but I really need help. I am 45, have al;ways known s/t was 'wrong', but was not properly dx'd til this year. I have ADD, depression, anxiety disorder, a tad of OCD and some chronic pain problems (which are finally under control). The dep, etc is not under control, as yet, but improving.
Five yrs. ago I had my 1st child (surprise) at 40. Diagnosed w/3 hern'd discs & fibro. Mother got cancer, nursed her. She recuped partially, but dev'd Alzheimer's. Dad died last year . Hubby, daughter & I moved in w/Mom. I nursed her until her death late last April. I then, spiralled into a terrible depression. Worse than ever. Couldn't leave the sofa for hours on end, didn't bathe reg'ly, lost 25 lbs. No A-d's had ever worked for me. I was practically comatose w/grief & dep., plus a bad pain flare.
Finally got pain under control, found yet another therapist, who referred me to a p-doc who dx'd ADD & and rx'd Adderall and an A-D. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I have hope. I am working part-time (!) and can get out of bed every morning. But, I am FAR from recovered.Yesterday, hub tells me, he does not believe I am that ill, that this (+ grief) cd,. not make me so non-functional. And, after listening to 'excuses' for 5 yrs., he thinks my time is up. I have not progressed enough, I am not so sick, not really trying.
I want a book, or a website that explains what depression REALLY
does to someone, how incapacitating TRD really is.CAN ANYBODY HELP ME???
Thanks ever so much. He is not even speaking to me at the moment, since Xmas, 'cause I was very late to a get-together at his dad's. Said no explanation cd. be good enuf, not any more and that I had just married the wrong guy...
He may be right on target there.
TIA
nightlight
Posted by Katey on December 30, 2001, at 22:38:00
In reply to NEED DESCRIPTIVE BK/W.SITE TO EXPL. me TO HUB, posted by nightlight on December 30, 2001, at 14:16:08
have him read some of the more desperate posts.
>
> Hi all
> Sorry to yell, but I really need help. I am 45, have al;ways known s/t was 'wrong', but was not properly dx'd til this year. I have ADD, depression, anxiety disorder, a tad of OCD and some chronic pain problems (which are finally under control). The dep, etc is not under control, as yet, but improving.
> Five yrs. ago I had my 1st child (surprise) at 40. Diagnosed w/3 hern'd discs & fibro. Mother got cancer, nursed her. She recuped partially, but dev'd Alzheimer's. Dad died last year . Hubby, daughter & I moved in w/Mom. I nursed her until her death late last April. I then, spiralled into a terrible depression. Worse than ever. Couldn't leave the sofa for hours on end, didn't bathe reg'ly, lost 25 lbs. No A-d's had ever worked for me. I was practically comatose w/grief & dep., plus a bad pain flare.
> Finally got pain under control, found yet another therapist, who referred me to a p-doc who dx'd ADD & and rx'd Adderall and an A-D. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I have hope. I am working part-time (!) and can get out of bed every morning. But, I am FAR from recovered.
>
> Yesterday, hub tells me, he does not believe I am that ill, that this (+ grief) cd,. not make me so non-functional. And, after listening to 'excuses' for 5 yrs., he thinks my time is up. I have not progressed enough, I am not so sick, not really trying.
>
> I want a book, or a website that explains what depression REALLY
> does to someone, how incapacitating TRD really is.
>
> CAN ANYBODY HELP ME???
>
> Thanks ever so much. He is not even speaking to me at the moment, since Xmas, 'cause I was very late to a get-together at his dad's. Said no explanation cd. be good enuf, not any more and that I had just married the wrong guy...
>
> He may be right on target there.
>
> TIA
> nightlight
Posted by nightlight on December 31, 2001, at 9:51:44
In reply to SEND HIM HERE, posted by Katey on December 30, 2001, at 22:38:00
Hi Katey,
That's a thought, but then, this wd. no longer be my 'safe haven'. He has seen me reading here lots of times, but we respect each othet's privacy, & he's never really read over my shoulder. And, I don't really want him to. But, I have mentioned the site to him and a couple of friends before, praising it for its' wealth of info.Funny thing, last nite, he began to soften up, kissed me on the cheek before taking our daughter out for a while. I didn't like it. I feel like he may be 'acting nicer' for her sake only, which is not totally uncommendable, but...it felt unnatural, and I have already distanced myself from him, emotionally.
Thanks for the advice~nightlight
> have him read some of the more desperate posts.
>
> >
> > Hi all
> > Sorry to yell, but I really need help. I am 45, have al;ways known s/t was 'wrong', but was not properly dx'd til this year. I have ADD, depression, anxiety disorder, a tad of OCD and some chronic pain problems (which are finally under control). The dep, etc is not under control, as yet, but improving.
> > Five yrs. ago I had my 1st child (surprise) at 40. Diagnosed w/3 hern'd discs & fibro. Mother got cancer, nursed her. She recuped partially, but dev'd Alzheimer's. Dad died last year . Hubby, daughter & I moved in w/Mom. I nursed her until her death late last April. I then, spiralled into a terrible depression. Worse than ever. Couldn't leave the sofa for hours on end, didn't bathe reg'ly, lost 25 lbs. No A-d's had ever worked for me. I was practically comatose w/grief & dep., plus a bad pain flare.
> > Finally got pain under control, found yet another therapist, who referred me to a p-doc who dx'd ADD & and rx'd Adderall and an A-D. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I have hope. I am working part-time (!) and can get out of bed every morning. But, I am FAR from recovered.
> >
> > Yesterday, hub tells me, he does not believe I am that ill, that this (+ grief) cd,. not make me so non-functional. And, after listening to 'excuses' for 5 yrs., he thinks my time is up. I have not progressed enough, I am not so sick, not really trying.
> >
> > I want a book, or a website that explains what depression REALLY
> > does to someone, how incapacitating TRD really is.
> >
> > CAN ANYBODY HELP ME???
> >
Posted by robinibor on December 31, 2001, at 9:59:45
In reply to NEED DESCRIPTIVE BK/W.SITE TO EXPL. me TO HUB, posted by nightlight on December 30, 2001, at 14:16:08
else he holds in high regard. Darkness Visible by Styron is a vivid description of how depression can incapacitate a person. Some people might think me sexist here, but I find that when men "discover" that depression is not "just a woman thing," they begin to take it more seriously.
I would like to think our website and my husband's book would help also. You can read several chapters on the website at http://www.undoingdepression.com
I also send the book free to people who cannot afford it...if they think it might help them.
Good luck to you.
Robin
Posted by nightlight on December 31, 2001, at 11:06:51
In reply to Give info on Wm Styron, Mike Wallace, someone..., posted by robinibor on December 31, 2001, at 9:59:45
Thanks Robin,
I'd love to have the book. Our finances are quite strained.He read parts of thr Mike Wallace book, and said, 'If Mike Wallace can have depression and keep working and making money and '60 Minutes' the whole time, then you (me) must be doing something wrong, or just not trying hard enuf.'
And, maybe he's right.(And, he's really not an ogre, just frank, and somewhat inexperienced in male-female relationships). But, the stresses of the past 5 years (birth, deaths, caregiving, plus, no response to A-D's) has colored 'my experience' and certainly individualized it.I have been meaning to read those books, and more, however, just have had so little energy to do the 'basics'. We are in the process of settling my parents' estate, trying to prep their house for sale and finding a place to move. I do have new therapists and I like them. I am also working part-time and I do get out bed every day!
*I* know I'm making progress, bit by bit, and I am trying to cling to that.
But, my husband of 5 yrs. has surely felt the strain of not being able to fathom a depression that can make one so distant and immobilized. I want to help him understand. He deserves that, and, he needs to know that I am likely to have bouts of this for the rest of my life-tho-I hope not as severe. And decide if he can face 'the challenge'.Thanks so much for your response~nightlight
else he holds in high regard. Darkness Visible by Styron is a vivid description of how depression can incapacitate a person. Some people might think me sexist here, but I find that when men "discover" that depression is not "just a woman thing," they begin to take it more seriously.
> I would like to think our website and my husband's book would help also. You can read several chapters on the website at http://www.undoingdepression.com
> I also send the book free to people who cannot afford it...if they think it might help them.
> Good luck to you.
> Robin
Posted by IsoM on December 31, 2001, at 14:20:47
In reply to Give info on Wm Styron, Mike Wallace, someone..., posted by robinibor on December 31, 2001, at 9:59:45
Thank you so much for posting this site, Robin! There's many good sites out there about depression but I've never seen this one. I looked it over a bunch & find it great. I'm going back there now to read more. Thanks again!
> I would like to think our website and my husband's book would help also. You can read several chapters on the website at http://www.undoingdepression.com
> I also send the book free to people who cannot afford it...if they think it might help them.
> Good luck to you.
> Robin
Posted by robinibor on January 1, 2002, at 21:52:54
In reply to Re: Give info on Wm Styron, Mike Wallace, someone... » robinibor, posted by nightlight on December 31, 2001, at 11:06:51
You can send your address through the website or to my email at roconn@li.com
And your husband should know that Mike Wallace was not able to work all the time. He had to be hospitalized and got very intensive treatment. Some of that info is on our site in a section called "Lower than a snake's belly."
>
> Thanks Robin,
> I'd love to have the book. Our finances are quite strained.
>
Posted by robinibor on January 1, 2002, at 21:55:07
In reply to Re: Web-site You Gave » robinibor, posted by IsoM on December 31, 2001, at 14:20:47
> Thank you so much for posting this site, Robin! There's many good sites out there about depression but I've never seen this one. I looked it over a bunch & find it great. I'm going back there now to read more. Thanks again!
>
>
> > I would like to think our website and my husband's book would help also. You can read several chapters on the website at http://www.undoingdepression.com
> > I also send the book free to people who cannot afford it...if they think it might help them.
> > Good luck to you.
> > Robin
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.