Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dubya on March 20, 2001, at 21:28:57
Am I the problem or do I have the problem? That's why I ask how do I know if my AD is working or not.
Last night, I had a weird thought which I'd never really carry out but, visualized being hung. Oh yeah and the ongoing thoughts of jumping off an office tower. Hmm, the weird part is, I have no intentions of hurting myself. On my wrists, I have a few surface cuts from an exacto knife blade. Weirdly(thankgoodness), I didn't dare dig deep enough into the vein. Even more weird is, I don't want scaring but yet look what I am doing.
I am hoping my anti-dep (AD) Clomipramine being an anti-Bulimic, Anti-OCD, Anti-dep., anti-Anxiety will stop me from doing this. Oh last point, the Clomipramine has made me experience vivid dreams at night. I'd rather have these dreams than suffer from my "problems" so I will stick to my AD. On a better note, I am getting a dog on Thurs afternoon, my 1st.
Posted by Ugenia Kay on March 21, 2001, at 0:10:52
In reply to Please help 1/2, posted by Dubya on March 20, 2001, at 21:28:57
Why are you tripling the med? Is it not working goodenough? You said that the dreams are better than the symptoms before the med. Are the dreams worse? I really think that you should talk to your doctor, or Dr. Bob on this site about this. Think about these questions too. I really think a dog will be a good thing; aninals are better companions and more supportive than the human kind. Ugenia Kay
> Am I the problem or do I have the problem? That's why I ask how do I know if my AD is working or not.
>
> Last night, I had a weird thought which I'd never really carry out but, visualized being hung. Oh yeah and the ongoing thoughts of jumping off an office tower. Hmm, the weird part is, I have no intentions of hurting myself. On my wrists, I have a few surface cuts from an exacto knife blade. Weirdly(thankgoodness), I didn't dare dig deep enough into the vein. Even more weird is, I don't want scaring but yet look what I am doing.
>
> I am hoping my anti-dep (AD) Clomipramine being an anti-Bulimic, Anti-OCD, Anti-dep., anti-Anxiety will stop me from doing this. Oh last point, the Clomipramine has made me experience vivid dreams at night. I'd rather have these dreams than suffer from my "problems" so I will stick to my AD. On a better note, I am getting a dog on Thurs afternoon, my 1st.
Posted by Dubya on March 21, 2001, at 23:30:18
In reply to Re: Please help 1/2, posted by Ugenia Kay on March 21, 2001, at 0:10:52
oops... I meant the thought at night before going to sleep... The dreams during my sleep are basically positive i.e. being the CEO of Intel but actually feel like I am there yet, when something goes right or wrong in the dream, I "feel" as if I am consciously there. Or perhaps even as a taxi driver or a homeless person or as "me", I can "feel" the dreams as if they are almost real, when I wake up though, I am fine.
Thanks for your Advice though... I was doubling the dose for the sake of doing it, not for the reason that the meds aren't working. Today, I took the proper dose again, 2 pills. Basically, when I am "MAD" at myself or blame myself, I will take down either 1 or 2 pills more than prescribed. I would take down either 3 pills or 4 pills instead of the prescribed 2 pills. Of course, I have done this about 4x out of the 100 days I've been on the meds.
Posted by Dubya on March 21, 2001, at 23:35:04
In reply to Re: Please help 1/2, posted by Ugenia Kay on March 21, 2001, at 0:10:52
If I can say this, it may help the GREAT people in this message board help me out: one day I think that I'd be a homeless (I mean having no house or skills to maintain any job) person, then a few days later, I don't feel preoccupied about this.
Also, if this is of any help to you guys: out intimidation of an assignment (in college) I do not do it because I know (FEAR) that I WILL fail thus proving to myself that I am stupid so I might as well not TRY and just give up yet those around me know that I am extremely capable of doing really well?
Posted by pat123 on March 22, 2001, at 0:17:22
In reply to Re: Please help 1/2, posted by Dubya on March 21, 2001, at 23:30:18
>
> Thanks for your Advice though... I was doubling the dose for the sake of doing it, not for the reason that the meds aren't working. Today, I took the proper dose again, 2 pills. Basically, when I am "MAD" at myself or blame myself, I will take down either 1 or 2 pills more than prescribed. I would take down either 3 pills or 4 pills instead of the prescribed 2 pills. Of course, I have done this about 4x out of the 100 days I've been on the meds.Do you hurt yourself in other ways ? I think you are playing with fire, assuming this careless change of dose will have little or no effect. You may have a shock, some day. Please discuss this behavior with your doc. It is not healthy.
pat
Posted by Dubya on March 22, 2001, at 0:36:41
In reply to Re: Please help 1/2, posted by pat123 on March 22, 2001, at 0:17:22
> > I think I should discuss this w/doc. After all, I was assuming that nothing would happen even though I know that AD's especially, can be harmful. Please suggest what you meant by "SHOCK".
> > Thanks for your Advice though... I was doubling the dose for the sake of doing it, not for the reason that the meds aren't working. Today, I took the proper dose again, 2 pills. Basically, when I am "MAD" at myself or blame myself, I will take down either 1 or 2 pills more than prescribed. I would take down either 3 pills or 4 pills instead of the prescribed 2 pills. Of course, I have done this about 4x out of the 100 days I've been on the meds.
>
> Do you hurt yourself in other ways ? I think you are playing with fire, assuming this careless change of dose will have little or no effect. You may have a shock, some day. Please discuss this behavior with your doc. It is not healthy.
>
> pat
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