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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by adams on March 1, 2001, at 12:30:26
I am lost in my depression and I have no hope. I lost my job a few months ago and ever since I have just been staying at home all the time. I am starting to think that maybe I am just a total loser and I always will be, I am thinking I might just give up on life and go on welfare or disability benefits or something, or I was thinking about buying a shotgun and blowing my head off. What should I do, can I just live on welfare or disability benefits my whole life and just stay at home all the time, because I really dont think my mental condition is going to get any better, I have been like this forever and I dont see how I could change, and yes I have tried antidepressants and they dont work for me. I feel like a failure because I just stay at home all day now, and my money that I have saved is being used up and soon I will run out of money, and I just cant face the world. Is there anybody else out there in my situation?
Posted by pat123 on March 1, 2001, at 12:40:57
In reply to I feel like my life is over, posted by adams on March 1, 2001, at 12:30:26
What should I do, can I just live on welfare or disability benefits my whole life and just stay at home all the time, because I really dont think my mental condition is going to get any better, I have been like this forever and I dont see how I could change, and yes I have tried antidepressants and they dont work for me.
How many antidepressants ? Many have to try more than 10 before they find the right one. I did, but when I found Effexor it was like night and day. Have you done any thearpy ?
It really is your choice; you can take action or suffer. Things did not work in the past but all this means is they were not right for you, so keep trying till you find meds/thearpy that does.
You really have nothing to lose, other than an awful existance, and everything to gain, like a normal life.Pat
Posted by Noa on March 1, 2001, at 16:20:46
In reply to Re: I feel like my life is over, posted by pat123 on March 1, 2001, at 12:40:57
Adam, lots of us have been in that dark, awful, hopeless place and thought nothing could ever change that, but despite a lot of discouraging trials of med combos that didn't do the trick, I am here to say that persisting until finding the right one is well worth it.
But if you are so depressed that you don't even have the wherewithall to deal with anything, perhaps you could benefit from being in the hospital until you feel safer--especially because of the suicidal ideas.
Posted by ksvt on March 1, 2001, at 17:27:39
In reply to I feel like my life is over, posted by adams on March 1, 2001, at 12:30:26
>Adams - it's very tough to be mired in a depression and NOT feel like a total loser. Try to remember that these feelings, no matter how permanent they seem, are a symptom of depression, and not representative of the real you. K
Posted by adams on March 2, 2001, at 14:08:58
In reply to Re: I feel like my life is over » adams, posted by ksvt on March 1, 2001, at 17:27:39
I dont want to feel like the only person who doesnt work because of their depression, I was hopeing somebody would tell me that they were in a similar situation, it makes me feel bad that I cant handle working or even finding a job, and I wanted someone to tell me that its alright to just stay at home. Also I dont know if depression is considered a disability or not, but I feel like I am disabled. The impression that I am getting from you guys is that I shouldnt just stay at home but rather I should be in the hospital, or I should be trying different medications, but it seems that you dont consider staying at home and living on social security benefits a good solution to the problem, but for me it seems like a great solution, although I dont really know anything about social security disability benefits or if I will even be accepted.
Posted by sar on March 2, 2001, at 14:25:57
In reply to Re: I feel like my life is over » adams, posted by ksvt on March 1, 2001, at 17:27:39
Adams,
I'm unemployed, hanging around home, and blowing my savings just like you...though mine will have to be a temporary situation as I don't have much money and my parents won't tolerate this for long...but most importantly I've watched my dad live off military pension since he was 45 (17 years) and his depression has worsened considerably because he has no pursuits. He seems so resigned and it pisses me off, hurts me! I reckon it's the law of opposites--to enjoy your free time you must work. To know happiness you gotta know sadness. How old are you? Can you find a job?BTW, I was feeling very morbid last night and looked at botched gunshot-to-the-head attempted suicides on the internet...scary f*cking stuff. Stick with us.
peace, sar
Posted by adams on March 2, 2001, at 19:56:03
In reply to Re: I feel like my life is over, posted by adams on March 2, 2001, at 14:08:58
I bought a 12 gauge shotgun today, I am not going to do it right now, I will wait and see how things go, and I have some things to do and some things to get before I go, but maybe in another month.
Posted by ksvt on March 2, 2001, at 22:23:01
In reply to Re: I feel like my life is over, posted by adams on March 2, 2001, at 19:56:03
> Adams - how old are you? How long had you been in the same job? (the one you lost) What sort of support system do you have in terms of family and friends? Have you felt like this a long time? How long? Please answer. K
I bought a 12 gauge shotgun today, I am not going to do it right now, I will wait and see how things go, and I have some things to do and some things to get before I go, but maybe in another month.
Posted by ShelliR on March 2, 2001, at 23:33:01
In reply to Re: I feel like my life is over » adams, posted by ksvt on March 2, 2001, at 22:23:01
>
> Adams, it is possible to get on disability for severe depression, if the depression not only affects your ability to work, but also your ability to fully take care of yourself. You need to go to a social security office and apply. Sometimes they turn you down on the first try, but then you can appeal. You should have a psychiatrist to evaluate you and write to support your condition.I think the reason that everyone thinks you should get out of the house, is that you are alone and suicidal. If you don't go in the hospital, you could look into a day hospital program, where you go for the day, and sleep at home.
Lots of us have gone through periods when we cannot work, because the depression is so bad. But it is important to be around other people now, so you are not totally focused on what you feel as a failure. If you go into the hospital or a day program, you will find many people like you. And lots of them, with therapy and medication eventually get better and return to work.
Also, usually at both partial hospitalization programs and in the hospital, there is a social worker who will help you with the paperwork for disability. And if you get disability benefits, often your state will offer you a program that will teach you new job skills when you are ready.
So hang in there, and try to hook up with people who can understand how you feel now. Shelli
Posted by adams on March 3, 2001, at 13:23:25
In reply to Re: I feel like my life is over » adams, posted by ksvt on March 2, 2001, at 22:23:01
I will be alright, I guess. Its always good to have a gun for home protection, so its no big deal that I bought it, I dont think I could go through with it, so dont worry because the gun is just for home protection now and I am not going to shot myself. So thats the end of this story, thanks you for your responses. Everything will be alright, somehow everything will get worked out I guess. But I appreciate you guys posting, regards.
Posted by ksvt on March 3, 2001, at 13:48:45
In reply to Re: I feel like my life is over, posted by adams on March 3, 2001, at 13:23:25
> Adams - you shouldn't try to get rid of us quite that easily. If owning a gun is so important for home security, why haven't you bought one before? Would you really feel safe using it for any purpose? When I first got depressed 5 or 6 years ago and was really in pretty bad shape, I refused to stop working even though that meant that some days I went into my office, closed the door, and spent most of the day staring out the window or moving the same few pieces of paper from one side of my desk to the other. I'm not at all sure that this was the right decision, and I've thought often if I might not have been better off claiming disability so I could stop working for awhile. Trying to continue to work brought with it so much anxiety and fear. But I was very conscious that I kept doing this, no matter how worthless, because I was afraid of staying home by myself all day. I was so lethargic that I thought I'd just sit around and ruminate and make myself more depressed. I think this is what Shelli's talking about. It's not a great time for you to be off by yourself. If working is just too hard, and you don't think partial or full hospitalization is an alternative, than I think you need to find some other activity that has you somewhat engaged and around other people. I know this it tough - when I'm more acutely depressed, my preference is to isolate myself as much as possible - but I think it's important to the recovery process. Please keep posting to let us know how you're doing. K
Posted by Noa on March 5, 2001, at 8:38:13
In reply to Re: I feel like my life is over » adams, posted by ksvt on March 3, 2001, at 13:48:45
Adams,
The question of disability and getting benefits is one to consider, but RIGHT NOW, we are responding to your suicidality. From what I read, you need to go to the hospital right away. You need to call your pdoc. You should not be alone.
At some point, your depression will get better, and any self-destructive decision you make in your current state of mind would look different then, only if you kill yourself, or harm yourself, you cannot undo that later. You are at high risk, having just bought that gun. I am worried about you. I want you to trust me that suicide is not the way.
I was suicidal last year, and I am so glad I did not act on it, because now I do feel better, something I couldn't believe then would ever happen. But it did, I do feel better and am glad to be here.
Please trust us--you shouldn't be alone, you need to be somewhere where you will be safe.
As for the long term issue, yes, you can possibly get disability status and get some benefits. And, believe it or not, that is something the hospital social workers might be able to help you with once you are ready to be discharged from the hospital.
Please, Adam. Please do the right thing and separate yourself from that gun. Please call your pdoc. Please go to the hospital.
Posted by adams on March 6, 2001, at 17:00:48
In reply to Re: I feel like my life is over, posted by Noa on March 5, 2001, at 8:38:13
I have already been in the hospital twice. That is why I am not going again, the hospital is stupid. I have already began to apply for disability now but I worry that I will not be accepted or that it will take a very long time to get on disability, does anybody know how long it will take or if they usually turn people down for depression?
Posted by RG on March 14, 2001, at 2:04:34
In reply to Re: I feel like my life is over, posted by adams on March 2, 2001, at 14:08:58
adams,
All that matters here is your amount of happiness. If staying at home is what you need right now, emotionally, maybe you should. Do you think you could handle any part time positions? My job for the past month or so has been part time and the wages are crappy, but it's allowed me some time to figure some things out for myself. I'm sure you can find some sort of assistance. The important thing, in my opinion, is just getting to the point where you feel motivated enough to find full time work again. For me, it's taken some time to realize just how limited my options are on such small earnings. Seeking a full-time job has become a goal for me only after some time of struggling. Everyone comes to goals in different ways and there is no 'right' way for you. So do whatever you think will get you by; just get rid of the damn gun.
-R
Posted by Mair on March 20, 2001, at 18:16:30
In reply to Re: I feel like my life is over, posted by RG on March 14, 2001, at 2:04:34
>Adams - You mentioned in a previous post that you had purchased a gun. While I would join the chorus of those who say you need to get rid of it, I am pretty curious about the process. Did you buy it from a gun store? Was there a waiting period? Did you have to undergo a background check? It's pretty important that I understand this so if you're still lurking, please respond if you don't mind. Mair
Posted by aDaMs on March 21, 2001, at 20:59:18
In reply to Question for Adams only, posted by Mair on March 20, 2001, at 18:16:30
One night I just went to gun store and said I wanted to buy a 12 gauge, I asked which was the cheapest, they show me a gun for $78 so I said I will take it, I had to fill out some papers and they did a instant backround check and about 40 minutes later I was walking out with the manager and the gun, the manager then put the gun in the trunk of the car and I went home.
Posted by mair on March 21, 2001, at 21:08:24
In reply to Re: Question for Adams only, posted by aDaMs on March 21, 2001, at 20:59:18
>
> Thanks for the info - I didn't realize it was as easy as all that. Mair
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 22, 2001, at 0:46:46
In reply to Question for Adams only, posted by Mair on March 20, 2001, at 18:16:30
> It's pretty important that I understand this
Why so, may I ask?
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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