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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 246 to 270 of 299. Go back in thread:
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 13:07:26
In reply to Re: Sounds like.... » coral, posted by shar on November 10, 2000, at 9:39:50
My dearest Rosebud,
Fully respecting your decision to decline, and with your petly support, too,.... ::::imagining Rosebud declining on decouch::::: I do miss your incredible ability for accuracy in detail.
Concerning the questions of activities on the couch for which I CLEARLY take responsibility for STATING, was interactivity . . . especially as the days grow shorter, and my WH, who craves sunlight, and lacking such, lumps along with me on the couch. HOWEVER, he never uses my sacred pillow (one of the felines does, though), and finds my banky to be too hot. Now, how that got misinterpreted to mean that I f***ed on my couch . . . well, my WH did say that he was hot, and I assumed he meant the banky, and I must confess that I do find my WH to be hot . . . and he does have this touch that is ... shall I say comforting? . . . I can see where this would arouse suspicions but . . . well, we all know the value of chocolate and respect the sticky brown lips . . . sweet-tasting, sticky . . .:::shivers deliciously ::::: I think taking a nap, surely for just sleeping, is in order NOW......
CPE
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 13:11:40
In reply to Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic..., posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 12:34:30
Dear Rosebud,
Thank you for clarifying "anent". I thoroughly enjoy the Ren Faire, even though I have to rest up for weeks before attending! Have you pagan interests as well, which are surely Lumptonian, undoubtedly?
Namaste'
Posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 13:27:18
In reply to Czar Noa....Ambassador needs slap on wrist, posted by shar on November 10, 2000, at 9:32:28
Dear Noble Lumptonian People,
Sssssssssiiiiiiigggghhhhhhhhh! ...
ONCE AGAIN, ...well you know the rest. No one was more shocked than the Ambassador to see what his fingers had done again. Ashamed and embarrassed that he may have offended our nation's little lumplings and modest souls, the Ambassador retreated to the farthest reaches of the Ambassadorial Dog House.
The Ambassador owes a special apology to our Couch Person Extradinaire, Sterling. Considering that the reckless actions of my fingers may have harmed you, hurts the Ambassador most of all.
As you so deftly pointed out the Ambassador is obviously not fully recovered from his malady yet. It would seem that there is still some illness remaining in the Ambassador's fingers. This would also explain their preoccupation with the blue discoloration in the Ambassador's private area.
On a positive note though, having protruded from their sockets so many times seems to have permanently reshaped the Ambassador's eyeballs resulting in surprisingly improved vision. Perhaps, ever vigilant and protruding as they now are they will be more able to catch the Ambassador's fingers "in the act".
Your repentant Ambassador,
Puppy Paws
---------------------------------------
> I enjoyed reading our dear Labassador's post, and found his analysis and description quite true and even poignant. However, in direct violation of the g-rating given to Lumptonian proclamations, he did use the f-word in his post. This must call for some sort of chastisement or punishment, perhaps we will have to dig a cellar to the dog house so he can be sent to the cellar when he is already in the dog house.
>
> If Lumptonia is G-Rated as the Czar has stated, something must be done!!
>
> Citizen Shar
>
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 13:27:55
In reply to Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic..., posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 12:34:30
Dear Mr. Ambassador, Mr. Lambrassador, Bob, Puppy Paws, or whatever name you choose, kind Sir . . .
It's been suggested that a cellar in the dog house is appropriate. I shall fight to keep you above ground, Snoopy-style on your back if you like, --- you've made admirable strides.... the admission of your profound desire to remain in Lumptonia will go far with our citizenry .. . . but I may not be successful in averting Obedience School for you, my dear . . . . especially if the Czarina Noa is intent . . . .
CPE (sterling)
Posted by noa on November 10, 2000, at 13:55:45
In reply to Re: Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic..., posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 13:27:55
I believe that spot over there in the corner of the doghouse is suitable, and yes, you do have to wear the dunce cap!
Mr. Ambassador must have all shovels removed from the premises of his abode because he persists in digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole.
From now on, the Czarina decrees, by fiat even, and if that doesn't work, we'll add an some lanzia beta to the mix, she (that's me) decrees that herftofore and forthwith and hence to boot, the Ambassador shall be forever prohibited from apologizing for anything.
Yes, that's right, you read correctly. Justification for this decree: every time the bombassador attempts to apologize for the errors of his ways, that proverbial shovel reappears and he digs his hole deeper, by reviolating the standards, violation of which was the reason for his apology in the first place.
So, from now on, if and when the ambassador is chastised for violating the innuendo laws of our nation, he must respond with a simple "correction noted, Madame Czarina", and must cease and desist immediately upon such notification.
Such is the Czarina's decree.
BTW, I am also doubling as the entertainment committee couchperson (we have no need of chairs in this realm), so have this announcement to offer my fair fellow citizens:
Entertainment activity of the week: WARNING--the following entertainment activity is raited PG-13 and is unsuitable for children:
Join us for a rollicking good time as we share light drinks and food, and pass around the Ambassador's responses to the Rorshach ink blot test! You are sure to guffaw and chuckle amply as you read these innuendo-laden interpretations. A good time will be had by all (except for, of course, Mr. Ambassador, shadow of his former self, who will be languishing in the corner of the doghouse trying to remember where he hid that last contraband shovel).
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 14:05:15
In reply to Re: Czar Noa....Ambassador needs slap on wrist, posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 13:27:18
Dear Puppy Paws,
JUST so the record's straight, your fingers never ONCE hurt me!!!!!!!
CPE
Posted by Greg on November 10, 2000, at 17:12:16
In reply to Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic..., posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 12:34:30
Boy, do I have experience here.....
HI BOB!
> (in chorus) ..."Hi, Bob!"
Posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 17:13:27
In reply to Re: Czar Noa....Ambassador needs slap on wrist, posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 14:05:15
> Dear Puppy Paws,
>
> JUST so the record's straight, your fingers never ONCE hurt me!!!!!!!
>
> CPEThank you Sterling, the Ambassador was very much relieved to know that he had not hurt you with his fingers, but he still intends to use them more thoughtfully and tenderly with you in the future.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Even when the Ambassador tries to avoid it, innuendo can be read in his words. It seems the Ambassador CANNOT HELP HIMSELF! The List Of Words To Be Avoided for him will surely come to include better than 90% of the Lumptonian Dictionary!
A Note To The Czarina:
I, the Ambassador, accept full responsibility for my actions so please don't think for a moment that CPE set me up for that one.
Sulking from the Dog House,
Lambrassador B
Posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 17:36:39
In reply to Re: Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic... » B Day, posted by Greg on November 10, 2000, at 17:12:16
> Boy, do I have experience here.....
>
> HI BOB!
>
> > (in chorus) ..."Hi, Bob!"Dear Havenmaster,
The Ambassador was so excited to get your correspondence he actually stepped out of the Ambassadorial Dog House, rose upon his hind legs and danced the Officially Choreographed Lumptonian Shuffle.
The Ambassador has been concerned with the well-being of the Havenmaster the last couple of days, particularly since it was on his "puppy doo" that the poor Havenmaster slipped and hurt himself on.
The Ambassador has been composing an email to the Havenmaster filled with warm words (probably full of innuendo though), but was hesitant in that it would of course be unsolicited.
Once again, it is good to hear from you. The Ambassador hopes you continue to visit Lumptonia and its adjacent realms for a long time to come. You have been most excellent citizen and blessing for all of these diverse peoples.
Wagging his tale from the Dog House,
Ambassador B
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 18:35:03
In reply to Re: Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic... » B Day, posted by Greg on November 10, 2000, at 17:12:16
::::embraces the HavenMaster:::::: Ooops.... far too much activity for a Lumptonian..... aw, hell with it..... and hugs the HavenMaster anyway!
CPE Sterling
Posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 19:22:43
In reply to Re: Hello, my name is Bob and I'm a Lumptoniaholic..., posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 18:35:03
To all,
This evening, my WH was attempting to string a cord from the telephone jack to his laptop computer while I passively watched from the couch. As part of this manuveur, a very LARGE bookcase he was attempting to move began rocking dangerously, threatening to spill all of its contents, television, a thousand books, cd player, etc., on the pristine (:::LOL:::) floor..... I suggested that he (we) might consider stringing the cord behind the bookcase in a way that wouldn't require moving the bookcase at all. Realizing the blazing wisdom of my suggestion, he said, "Do you always have to find the simplest and easiest way to do something?" I smiled sweetly. Then, he slapped his forehead and said, "Sure you do that... after all, you ARE a Lumptonian!"
CPE Sterling (and a mite smug)
Posted by B Day on November 10, 2000, at 19:33:13
In reply to Re: Lumptonian Victory!!!!!!!, posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 19:22:43
> To all,
>
> This evening, my WH was attempting to string a cord from the telephone jack to his laptop computer while I passively watched from the couch. As part of this manuveur, a very LARGE bookcase he was attempting to move began rocking dangerously, threatening to spill all of its contents, television, a thousand books, cd player, etc., on the pristine (:::LOL:::) floor..... I suggested that he (we) might consider stringing the cord behind the bookcase in a way that wouldn't require moving the bookcase at all. Realizing the blazing wisdom of my suggestion, he said, "Do you always have to find the simplest and easiest way to do something?" I smiled sweetly. Then, he slapped his forehead and said, "Sure you do that... after all, you ARE a Lumptonian!"
>
> CPE Sterling (and a mite smug)
Posted by Greg on November 10, 2000, at 19:50:38
In reply to Re: Lumptonian Victory!!!!!!!, posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 19:22:43
Coral,
You are an inspiration to every person who ever scratched their head and mumbled "There's GOT be be an easier way!"
I salute you, half-heartedly while lying on the couch with my head on my pillow wrapped tightly in my blanket of course....
> To all,
>
> This evening, my WH was attempting to string a cord from the telephone jack to his laptop computer while I passively watched from the couch. As part of this manuveur, a very LARGE bookcase he was attempting to move began rocking dangerously, threatening to spill all of its contents, television, a thousand books, cd player, etc., on the pristine (:::LOL:::) floor..... I suggested that he (we) might consider stringing the cord behind the bookcase in a way that wouldn't require moving the bookcase at all. Realizing the blazing wisdom of my suggestion, he said, "Do you always have to find the simplest and easiest way to do something?" I smiled sweetly. Then, he slapped his forehead and said, "Sure you do that... after all, you ARE a Lumptonian!"
>
> CPE Sterling (and a mite smug)
Posted by B Day on November 11, 2000, at 9:59:50
In reply to Re: Lumptonian Victory!!!!!!!, posted by Greg on November 10, 2000, at 19:50:38
TGIS!
After five whole days dodging close calls of nearly having to do stuff, the Ambassador is looking forward to two full days of exquisite uninterupted lumping. Praise be to Her!
From his blanky in the Dog House,
Am B
Posted by noa on November 11, 2000, at 10:39:16
In reply to Re: Lumptonian Victory!!!!!!!, posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 19:22:43
> To all,
>
> This evening, my WH was attempting to string a cord from the telephone jack to his laptop computer while I passively watched from the couch. As part of this manuveur, a very LARGE bookcase he was attempting to move began rocking dangerously, threatening to spill all of its contents, television, a thousand books, cd player, etc., on the pristine (:::LOL:::) floor..... I suggested that he (we) might consider stringing the cord behind the bookcase in a way that wouldn't require moving the bookcase at all. Realizing the blazing wisdom of my suggestion, he said, "Do you always have to find the simplest and easiest way to do something?" I smiled sweetly. Then, he slapped his forehead and said, "Sure you do that... after all, you ARE a Lumptonian!"
>
> CPE Sterling (and a mite smug)
Posted by B Day on November 11, 2000, at 19:05:44
In reply to Re: Lumptonian Victory!!!!!!!GOL (np) » coral, posted by noa on November 11, 2000, at 10:39:16
...zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzsssnortzzzzzsnortzzzzz
zzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZzzzzzsmacksmacksmacksmackzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
Posted by shar on November 11, 2000, at 19:09:47
In reply to Re: anent, posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 13:11:40
CPE--
Of course I have pagan interests! That's why the G rating worries me. So often I don't fit in. Because we know pagans have fun...Baaadddd fun!HC Epidural (aka Rosebud)
> Dear Rosebud,
>
> Thank you for clarifying "anent". I thoroughly enjoy the Ren Faire, even though I have to rest up for weeks before attending! Have you pagan interests as well, which are surely Lumptonian, undoubtedly?
>
> Namaste'
Posted by B Day on November 11, 2000, at 19:51:18
In reply to All quiet in Lumptonia, I think I'll take a nap., posted by B Day on November 11, 2000, at 19:05:44
...zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZzzzz--------poot!----------zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz
zzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-------poot!-------ZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
Posted by coral on November 11, 2000, at 21:05:19
In reply to Re: anent » coral, posted by shar on November 11, 2000, at 19:09:47
Dear HC Epidural,
Hey, Texas, I KNEW there was a connection.....as one who has been known to dance under the full moon.
Maybe we can discuss our mutual interests at the Haven...
CPE
>
>
>
>
>
> > Dear Rosebud,
> >
> > Thank you for clarifying "anent". I thoroughly enjoy the Ren Faire, even though I have to rest up for weeks before attending! Have you pagan interests as well, which are surely Lumptonian, undoubtedly?
> >
> > Namaste'
Posted by B Day on November 11, 2000, at 21:31:25
In reply to z-z-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..., posted by B Day on November 11, 2000, at 19:51:18
...zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZ-----ummmmmmmmmMMM
MMMMMMMmmmmmmm------------zzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzz-sniff-zzzzzzzzzzz----smack-smack----zzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz
zzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz-------poot!-------zzzzZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
Posted by B Day on November 12, 2000, at 10:09:20
In reply to Re: z-z-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..., posted by B Day on November 11, 2000, at 21:31:25
Dear Lumptonians,
Refreshed from a fine day of napping and a delicious breakfast of coffee and chocolate cup cakes, the Ambassador, once again found himself contentedly decomposing. He would like to offer the following anthem for consideration by the people. It is for our armed forces, which we still don't have. Since it is obvious though that we do have a militia, I offer at this time.
From the wails of Hypomania,
To the scares of Schizophrene
We will write our country's babble,
On the couch before TV.
First to fight for Lumping freedom
And to keep our SOs trained
We are proud to wear the blanky
Of the Borderline Insane.The Ambassador would like to say there is not one scrap of inspired creation in the whole of the public domain that he is too proud to pilfer for the Lumptonian people.
It has also just occurred to the Ambassador that when Mozart was his age, he had been dead for thirteen years.
>:-(
Am B
Posted by shar on November 12, 2000, at 10:33:28
In reply to Re: anent, posted by coral on November 11, 2000, at 21:05:19
Works for me! I say give me that REAL old-time religion!!
HC Ectoplasm
> Dear HC Epidural,
>
> Hey, Texas, I KNEW there was a connection.....as one who has been known to dance under the full moon.
>
> Maybe we can discuss our mutual interests at the Haven...
>
> CPE
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > Dear Rosebud,
> > >
> > > Thank you for clarifying "anent". I thoroughly enjoy the Ren Faire, even though I have to rest up for weeks before attending! Have you pagan interests as well, which are surely Lumptonian, undoubtedly?
> > >
> > > Namaste'
Posted by shar on November 12, 2000, at 11:14:20
In reply to Re: z-z-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..., posted by B Day on November 11, 2000, at 21:31:25
Were I still Historical Curator, it would be written that the Ambassador shall always have his own separate room when he retires to sleep for the night. Given his graphic description of sleeping (which affects all of the senses) no good Lumptonian citizen should be subjected to the Horror...er, I mean Honor of sharing a room with him.
HC Ellipsis and Citizen Shar (but you can call me Rosebud)
> ...zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZ-----ummmmmmmmmMMM
> MMMMMMMmmmmmmm------------zzzzzzzzzzzz
> zzzz-sniff-zzzzzzzzzzz----smack-smack----zzzzzz
> zzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz
> zzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz-------poot!-------zzzzZZ
> ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
Posted by coral on November 12, 2000, at 12:10:32
In reply to Re: z-z-zzz--Traveling with the Ambassador, posted by shar on November 12, 2000, at 11:14:20
Now, everyone knows what a mild-mannered, gentle soul that I am. HOWEVER, it is in violation of my Lumptonian Constitutional Rights if I have to be subjected to the Ambassador's "musical" accompaniment to his marvelous battle song. I'm just concerned that the wonderful, magnificent lyrics would be . . . there is JUST no way I can phrase it delicately . . . and we all know that people do not sing particularly well while holding their noses.
While I personally have no plans of traveling with the Ambassador, except in spirit (VEG), I concur with Rosebud's suggestion.
CPE
Posted by B Day on November 12, 2000, at 12:56:36
In reply to Re: z-z-zzz--Traveling with the Ambassador, posted by coral on November 12, 2000, at 12:10:32
To the People Of Lumptonia,
The Ambassador would now like to apologize for his unfortunate choice of NOISES. The Ambassador would like to remind everyone that he was napping at the time, but nevertheless he is sorry for unwittingly tainting the otherwise pleasant atmosphere of Lumptonia.
The Ambassador attributes this temporary phenomena to the infernal health food he ate. He would like to expel any remaining cause of concern for the people. Surely it will soon pass. The wind of change is already blowing.
I hope this will help the nation breathe more easily.
Airing out the Dog House,
Your Lambrassador
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