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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by shar on November 6, 2000, at 21:34:12
In reply to Re: Chocolate Survival Strategy--PS » noa, posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 12:26:59
As Chocolate appears to be the national food of Lumptonia, it is only proper to acknowledge the citizenry who wear the badge of honor thereof, including the Ambassador himself: Sticky Brown Lips.
This can be accomplished by usual methods of chocolate eating (the kind that melts on your mouth), by eating but not inhaling Nestle Quik out of the can, or, as our Ambassador has indicated, by swigging directly from a container of chocolate syrup.
The Right Honorable Historical Curator
Shar (LOL at your post, B)> > > >If there's no other chocolate in the house, you can eat Nestle's Quik out of the can, but don't breathe in when you do.
> >
> >
> > I also meant to say that this one made me really laugh out loud!
>
> Noa,
>
> The ambassador has often found it handy to keep a small bottle of Hersey's Syrup in his back pocket for "swigging".
>
> However, this practive has been widely disdained by those from THAT state. What do they call themselves? Normals? How bizarre.
>
> Smiling with you with sticky brown lips,
>
> Ambassador B
Posted by shar on November 6, 2000, at 22:09:32
In reply to Re: Let us Celebrate, posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 20:58:58
Because Lumptonia will never have an offical dance, except for dancing around issues having to do with getting away from the couch, the discovery of a description of the official walking posture replaces all other forms of ambulation.
As curator, I found this extremely important to include for those few brave Lumptonians who venture (gasp) out of doors. Some may not know the posture and want to practice. For others, who live with Normals, they should know they are not alone in suffering at the hands of their loving and well-intentioned others. This description is from one who suffered greatly one morning:
"So I went for my walk, and managed, during sobbing aloud, my body slightly bent over, to have my arms hanging down in front of me, (the official walking Lumptonian position)..."
The sobbing is officially optional, but suggested.
The Right Honorable Hysterical Curator,
Shar
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 23:17:31
In reply to The Official Lumptonian Walk, posted by shar on November 6, 2000, at 22:09:32
Permanently re-formed by his couch, the Ambassador has pretty much returned to knuckle-walking.
However, he has found the new shape to be excellent for perusing the refrigerator.
Ambassador B
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 23:27:44
In reply to The Custom of the Sticky Brown Lips, posted by shar on November 6, 2000, at 21:34:12
> As Chocolate appears to be the national food of Lumptonia, it is only proper to acknowledge the citizenry who wear the badge of honor thereof, including the Ambassador himself: Sticky Brown Lips.
>Thank you Shar,
You are absolutely right. Sticky Brown Lips are the lips of Lumptonia!
I would like to remind our people how vastly superior that is to the Sticky Brown Noses so commonly found among the Normals.
Ambassador B
Posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 23:44:42
In reply to Let us Celebrate, posted by S. Howard on November 6, 2000, at 19:51:41
> Fellow Lumps:
> FINALLY< Lumptonian weather is here! This means less shaving, big sweats, bulky sweaters, flannel robes, comforters, and more excuses not to go outside...all that stuff so precious to us.
>Indeed the Lumping season is upon us. SGH, You read the skies as though you are reading the mind of our nation.
> Another tip:
> Coffee-hounds like me (not to worry-I'm immune to caffeine)should find great pleasure in chocolate-covered coffeebeans - you get your chocolate, your caffeine and your sugar all in one little box, no fuss. The problem is getting them from Starbucks or B&N to your couch. I'm still working on that one. SGHCOFFEE PILLS!!! Out-fucking-standing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oooops!!! It appears the Ambassador took too much citalopram this morning. He hopes the people can forgive him for his fowl-mouthed outburst.
Hunkering down in embarrassment,
Ambassador B
Posted by S. Howard on November 6, 2000, at 23:48:52
In reply to Re: Let us Celebrate, posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 20:58:58
> Dear SGH,
>
> YES!!!!!!!!!! ::::thinks about dancing wildly about the room -- thinks again:::::
>
> For me, the only problem is that my WH thrives on sunlight so as the season darkens, he and I both think hibernating thoughts, which leads to interactivity on the couch which I think might be in violation of Lumptonian conduct!
>
> In fact, his need for sunlight drives me out-of-doors so he can get his batteries recharged. Now if that's not a conflict of Lumptonian thoughts, I just don't know what is!!!!!!
>
> Sterling CPE**************************************************
What a dilemma! All I can suggest is a flannel-lined barn coat and big sunglasses.
Whew, I'm tired from holding the key down long enough to make all those little stars. S
Posted by S. Howard on November 6, 2000, at 23:56:10
In reply to Re: Let us Celebrate » S. Howard, posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 23:44:42
No offense taken! I am pleased you are pleased.-S
Posted by Angela5 on November 7, 2000, at 0:04:38
In reply to Let us Celebrate, posted by S. Howard on November 6, 2000, at 19:51:41
> chocolate-covered coffeebeans ...The problem is getting them from Starbucks or B&N to your couch. I'm still working on that one. SGH
No problem, I'm the master at never-go-out-if-they'll-deliver. :)
(make sure you get the whole URL, including the period at the end. :)
Posted by Emmanuela on November 7, 2000, at 0:19:04
In reply to Re: Let us Celebrate » S. Howard, posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 23:44:42
As a consequence of the Ambassador's Outburst, as new Prime Ministerette, or Prime Ministress, I am entitled to wreak the following punishment: he must tell us what citalopram is, and where we all can get it, and by rights, he should send the first one for free.
And while we're on the subject, not only was I asked by my WH what I'd like for dinner, but he cooked it all and served it to me, though he forced me (yes, again) to come to the kitchen table to eat it. When will the rings and marrows of mouth-ages portune something sweet?
As befits true Lumtonian, when it became dark, I wanted it to stay light, and now that it's dark, I don't want the light to come again and make me have to (shudder) function.
Posted by Emmanuela on November 7, 2000, at 0:35:49
In reply to Re: Let us Celebrate, posted by Emmanuela on November 7, 2000, at 0:19:04
Lumpacious Curator: I am humbled and honored and, yes, even slightly hobbled, at having the Walking Position put into the Archives. May I suggest to those who may choose sometime to actually assume that position that it is imperative that a loose upper garment is worn -otherwise, while the arms hang down in front, dangling, a tight garment could make unsightly wrinkles and stretches that anyone walking behind would be able to witness. Do I overstep my position of Choreographer? And at this time, I'd like to submit a request to our esteemed Ambassador: that I be allowed to hold a dual office, or in a feistier moment, a duel office: that of Prime Ministrette/Ministress AND Official Choreographer. Is it greed that drives me to this? And as an aside, the Ambassador has special dispensation to be able to walk on his knuckles any time he wants.
Posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 1:44:14
In reply to Curator, posted by Emmanuela on November 7, 2000, at 0:35:49
> And as an aside, the Ambassador has special dispensation to be able to walk on his knuckles any time he wants.
>Thank you dearest Prime Ministress Emmanuela for this special grace.
Actually the Ambassador never knew they were knuckles until recently. He had always just thought he had short fingers until someone pointed out to him the two digits on the other side.
Boy, I don't have to tell you what pure hell it has been for the him tryin' to get inside his Nestle's Quick cans.
> And at this time, I'd like to submit a request to our esteemed Ambassador: that I be allowed to hold a dual office, or in a feistier moment, a duel office: that of Prime Ministrette/Ministress AND Official Choreographer.
>I suspect the Lumptonian people would be willing to cheerfully give you as many responsibilities as you would like.
> Is it greed that drives me to this?
I think not. I believe it is your powerful sense of duty and citizenship, your love for your country and possibly a substantial amount of over-medication.
Ambassador B
Posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 2:00:17
In reply to Re: Let us Celebrate, posted by coral on November 6, 2000, at 20:58:58
> Dear SGH,
>
> YES!!!!!!!!!! ::::thinks about dancing wildly about the room -- thinks again:::::
>Dancing wildly? It seems like I've heard of that. Was it in the Ancient writings?
> For me, the only problem is that my WH thrives on sunlight so as the season darkens, he and I both think hibernating thoughts, which leads to interactivity on the couch which I think might be in violation of Lumptonian conduct!
>Couchly interactivity?????? Hmmmmmmm? That stirs a vague memory as well. What could these things be?
> In fact, his need for sunlight drives me out-of-doors so he can get his batteries recharged.
>Recharging his batteries????? Oh! Yesss, I recall...a long time ago. Ooooohhhh!!!
> Now if that's not a conflict of Lumptonian thoughts, I just don't know what is!!!!!!
>
> Sterling CPEPerhaps it is in conflict with Lumptonian thoughts, but the Ambassador remembers it now as being MOST agreeable with his other parts.
Ambassador B
Posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 2:26:21
In reply to Re: Let us Celebrate, posted by Emmanuela on November 7, 2000, at 0:19:04
To the Lumptonian People,
It should be noted that I asked Emmanuela to consider the position of Prime Minister Of Lumptonia which of course has needed to be filled.
How did I come to consider her for the job? Well, in conversations with her I came to feel she was a person of a both erudite and political nature.
How did I come to that opinion? Well, she told me she was that way in those very words.
She also reminds me of Winston Churchill.
> As a consequence of the Ambassador's Outburst, as new Prime Ministerette, or Prime Ministress, I am entitled to wreak the following punishment: he must tell us what citalopram is, and where we all can get it, and by rights, he should send the first one for free.
>Citalopram is Celexa, an antidepressant of the SSRI persuasion and the Ambassador has tons of it. It seems that the people in the Ambassador life are elated that he's taking medication to the point where he's not only getting stuff from his three doctors, but from his friends, his family and people around the country he hasn't even seen in years.
The Ambassador does not understand this bizarre behavior and is rather dreading Christmas because of it.
> And while we're on the subject, not only was I asked by my WH what I'd like for dinner, but he cooked it all and served it to me, though he forced me (yes, again) to come to the kitchen table to eat it. When will the rings and marrows of mouth-ages portune something sweet?
> As befits true Lumtonian, when it became dark, I wanted it to stay light, and now that it's dark, I don't want the light to come again and make me have to (shudder) function.
>Did the Ambassador mention that Emmanuela also reminds him of Winston Churchill's little black dog?
Ambassador B
Posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 6:46:47
In reply to Re: Let us Celebrate: A note for the people., posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 2:26:21
Dear Mr. Ambassador,
I am loathe to bring a problem to your attention when you're talking turkey (surely that's what you meant by fowl speaking?), but apparently, the Messiah has run off again.
Of course, it could be a Messianic test to see if we could find her, or she could be out missionarying with other potential Lumptonians, or maybe she's gone on retreat (but what's the couch for then????). But, she did post a crucial list of Messianianical missives under a separate heading. Our Esteemed Historical Curator had to track her down to capture her words of wisdom and decrees from her own sticky brown lips, and had it not been for that exhaustive search by our EHC, we might never have known that nubile young slaves made of ginger snaps can be formatted.
Would a word from you help bring her back into the fold?
Sterling CPE
Posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 7:12:59
In reply to Re: Mr. Ambassador . . . the Messiah is ....., posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 6:46:47
Dear Esteemed Historical Curator,
As you know, Lumptonians prefer a low profile, as so eloquently expressed by our Prime Ministeress, but there are claims being made by others that are rightfully Lumptonian.
Of course, I refer to Fuzzy Logic, the Theory of Chaos and Black Holes. There are mathematicians and physicists who are laying claim to these theoroies. We Lumptonians know that they are not theories, but realities. In fact, it is only a true Lumptonian who can master fuzzy logic while practicing the theory of chaos in a black hole.
Undoubtedly, you're exhausted from having to track down the Messiah, Messianiac Personage, or whatever it is we are to call her, but I'd hate to see Lumptonia be denied its rightful praise for developing, proving and practicing the above-mentioned "theories."
For your consideration, sincerely and humbly submitted by Sterling CPE
.
Posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 8:35:07
In reply to Re: Historical corrections, posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 7:12:59
As I have had training in these areas, I will incorporate them into my curatorial responsibilities, and include them in a special section of The History (or should that be Herstory?) but only if I get another title (as noted in the subject line).
Are we agreed, m'lady CPE?
Shar
> Dear Esteemed Historical Curator,
>
> As you know, Lumptonians prefer a low profile, as so eloquently expressed by our Prime Ministeress, but there are claims being made by others that are rightfully Lumptonian.
>
> Of course, I refer to Fuzzy Logic, the Theory of Chaos and Black Holes. There are mathematicians and physicists who are laying claim to these theoroies. We Lumptonians know that they are not theories, but realities. In fact, it is only a true Lumptonian who can master fuzzy logic while practicing the theory of chaos in a black hole.
>
> Undoubtedly, you're exhausted from having to track down the Messiah, Messianiac Personage, or whatever it is we are to call her, but I'd hate to see Lumptonia be denied its rightful praise for developing, proving and practicing the above-mentioned "theories."
>
> For your consideration, sincerely and humbly submitted by Sterling CPE
> .
Posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 8:37:02
In reply to High Priestess of Theoretical Realities, posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 8:35:07
But of course, High Priestess of Theoretical Realities!
Sterling CPE
Posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 8:41:04
In reply to High Priestess of Theoretical Realities, posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 8:35:07
But of course, High Priestess of Theoretical Realities!
Sterling CPE
I may have inadvertently posted this twice. As previously mentioned, I am a computer idjit, and have difficulty following the simplest instructions. Is that Lumptonian? Not the computer idjit part --- the difficulty following instructions but, then again, I did follow instructions because I'm now calling you the High Priestess of Theoretical Realities, but I'm still a computer idjit.
Posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 8:53:41
In reply to Re: Request of Messiah Racer » coral, posted by B Day on November 4, 2000, at 21:12:19
"So many are coming together from far and wide to jointly embrace their lumpistic heritage. As near as I can tell so far, aside from myself, they are all females. The ambassador finds this MOST agreeable!"
> >
> > Do I sense an impending trip to Hypomania? This supposition is based solely on your earlier stated plans for when you do visit Hypomania. > >
>
> Ahh-h! I see my excellent assistant is as perceptive as ever (which sounds better than I'm as transparent to women as usual). Coincidentally, I did think of suggesting we all fly there together sometime but decided the notion a bit bold and premature (which sounds better than I didn't figure I'd get away with it). Nevertheless, I'm sure each of you could make significant contributions to my to endeavors in Hypomania and they would be MUCH appreciated by the Ambassador.
>
The Historical Curator and High Priestess of Theoretical Realities has decided that, as the Ambassador has "appreciated" women in the usual male style (leer, drool), this event shall not be recorded as the facade that our hilariously funny and "esteemed" (steamed?) leader is a wise and sensitive one should be preserved for the good of the people.On the other hand, not writing about it doesn't mean that all of us women have to forgo certain interactions that sometimes take place when CPE and her WH hibernate on the same couch. It's just a matter of discovering a reasonable explanation for why the citizenry should so engage the ambassador and Greg (the only two males of which I am aware).
Reasons will be accepted beginning immediately.
HC, HPTE
Posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 9:00:33
In reply to Re: Let us Celebrate » S. Howard, posted by B Day on November 6, 2000, at 23:44:42
As the Ambassador points out, SGH appears to have a special talent for reading signs of nature and perhaps even hitherto unknown phenomena. I nominate her (?) as official Seer of Lumptonia.
HC, HPTR
> > Fellow Lumps:
> > FINALLY< Lumptonian weather is here! This means less shaving, big sweats, bulky sweaters, flannel robes, comforters, and more excuses not to go outside...all that stuff so precious to us.
> >
>
> Indeed the Lumping season is upon us. SGH, You read the skies as though you are reading the mind of our nation.
>
> > Another tip:
> > Coffee-hounds like me (not to worry-I'm immune to caffeine)should find great pleasure in chocolate-covered coffeebeans - you get your chocolate, your caffeine and your sugar all in one little box, no fuss. The problem is getting them from Starbucks or B&N to your couch. I'm still working on that one. SGH
>
> COFFEE PILLS!!! Out-fucking-standing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> Oooops!!! It appears the Ambassador took too much citalopram this morning. He hopes the people can forgive him for his fowl-mouthed outburst.
>
> Hunkering down in embarrassment,
>
> Ambassador B
Posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 10:18:58
In reply to Historical Cover-up to Occur, posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 8:53:41
Dear CHEPTH,
Curator of Historical Esteem and Priestess of Theorethical Highness????
Now, you have confused me. As a true Lumptonian, I am often confused, dazed, generally befuddled as well as mistress of computer idjitry, but I am clueless as to what reasons you're seeking.
I wholeheartedly support the Ambassador cover-up, especially if it's a warm banky.
CPE (STERLING!!!)
Posted by Christina on November 7, 2000, at 11:36:40
In reply to Re: Historical Cover-up!!!, posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 10:18:58
I go to work every day, but I'm barely there.
I eat a lot of chocolate, but I also bake brownies, and not merely eat Nestle Quik from the can.
My house is a wreck, but I do have clean undergarments.
My car is a filthy disgrace, but it does have more than a quarter tank of gas.
My desk is piled with crap and out of control, but I did mangage to file one piece of paper today.
I did not bathe or brush my hair today, but I did brush my teeth.
I have managed to avert calls from my boss regarding a project that's due and I have not put forth one iota of effort to complete it, but I have thought about it a lot.So what am I... lump or blob?
Posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 12:34:42
In reply to Re: Historical Cover-up!!!, posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 10:18:58
The Ambassador (and Havenmaster, I bet) MUCH appreciate the female citizenry, and the appreciation might be mutual to some of the single female citizens. There should be a custom that the Ambassador and the Havenmaster are on-call to the single females, since females are the vast majority here. (get the drift?) But, I can't print in the Archives the real reason the two (ecstatic) males are on-call (that would be scandalous!). So I need an innocent-sounding reason why the very happy males can be called upon day or night by the single female citizens.
Is that more clear?
HPR CH
> Dear CHEPTH,
>
> Curator of Historical Esteem and Priestess of Theorethical Highness????
>
> Now, you have confused me. As a true Lumptonian, I am often confused, dazed, generally befuddled as well as mistress of computer idjitry, but I am clueless as to what reasons you're seeking.
>
> I wholeheartedly support the Ambassador cover-up, especially if it's a warm banky.
>
> CPE (STERLING!!!)
Posted by Emmanuela on November 7, 2000, at 13:15:46
In reply to Hmmmm. Maybe I will drop this train of thought., posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 12:34:42
As your Prime Ministress and Instep Choreographer, we've been pondering the Cover Up of the Ambassador's True Nature. Politically, in the recent past, as contrasted with the Ancient Writings (lest we step on the toes of the Curator[which would NOT reflect well on the Choreographer]),there have been some instances of cover-up, and not just with a banky. There are some well-hidden articles in which a quilt is named and, and we know this is hard to believe, once an umbrella was mentioned. We (the Royal) think we (the populous) need to keep a careful half-open and heavy lidded eye on the direction our Ambassador is leading us. Inspired by coral's couchcarrot activities, the Ambassador may, and we only say MAY, be leading us toward a direction in which incipient hypomania holds reign (or in the past, rain, hence the umbrella, probably). We esteem him beyond all measure, and need to help him stay on the politically correct path, lest corruption begin to raise its exhausted head.
PM & IC
Posted by Emmanuela on November 7, 2000, at 13:23:52
In reply to Re: Curator » Emmanuela, posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 1:44:14
This brought an actual Loud Laugh Aloud to the PM & IC. "Actually the Ambassador never knew they were knuckles until recently. He had always just thought he had short
fingers until someone pointed out to him the two digits on the other side."
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