![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 29. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rskontos on October 2, 2014, at 12:04:13
Hi guys just thought I would see what's happening here on Babble. Things are rough right now...seeing a new therapist which is great she is good but things at home seem dismal...
Nice to see people are still here. I have missed this interaction since I have no IRL friends i can confide in.
Posted by Twinleaf on October 2, 2014, at 17:07:55
In reply to MIA but back now..., posted by rskontos on October 2, 2014, at 12:04:13
Hello! It's so nice to see your name again. I remember you as a very active contributor from several years ago, but (my memory is really letting me down here), I don't recall too much more than that. Can you give a brief update?
Posted by rskontos on October 2, 2014, at 17:20:06
In reply to Re: MIA but back now... » rskontos, posted by Twinleaf on October 2, 2014, at 17:07:55
> Hello! It's so nice to see your name again. I remember you as a very active contributor from several years ago, but (my memory is really letting me down here), I don't recall too much more than that. Can you give a brief update?
Yes I was quite active.....i had an abusive childhood and dissociated most of it and continued to do so because my husband and his parents have re-traumatized me. I went back to Graduate School to pursue another career and that is why I wasn't so active. Graduated with honors but right now I am at home not working because I have been very sick physically. Additionally my longtime pdoc who was also my t because he practiced true psychotherapy died suddenly. That of course threw me waaaaay off course...this happened right after I took a really difficult job that he encouraged me to take...between his death and the job it about did me in mentally and physically. The job was very triggering working with young children that had been quite abused and their families. So without his help in working through it all, he knew the job and its parameters. I guess maybe he thought I was stronger than I was. In any case, the panic attacks got worse and the worse I started dissociating at work ALL the time. I have a new therapist who is amazing. She has helped me in so many ways. I finally found a doctor, functional medicine, that was able to help me recover physically while the new T helps me with the dissociation. I tried several other docs but when they dx'd me DID I ran. Maybe I am maybe I am not, i would just rather work from where I am not the label of what I am. Does that make sense. Twinleaf I was thrilled to see you, and 10derheart, Dinah, Phillipa, and so many others I remembered from before....I am in a hard place with my marriage and my dissociation...but I am making progress. I entered therapy to recover my memories and begin to integrate myself. My T has expertise in dream therapy too and she is so different from Dr S who died but she did know him. My people in my city knew him because he was prominent although I did not know that.
Posted by Twinleaf on October 2, 2014, at 18:40:01
In reply to Re: MIA but back now..., posted by rskontos on October 2, 2014, at 17:20:06
It's so great to get such an informative follow-up. I do remember more about you now. It sounds as though there have been some pretty had things, but you also showed great strength and health, getting a graduate degree, finding a good therapist, dealing with everything in as positive a way as you can. I do agree with you about labels! I think everyone dissociates , or really just denies, when things are very stressful, and it's not very helpful to just get a label like that.
It does sound as thogh you started off with one of the most stressful jobs you could have gotten! Maybe a bit easier, more supportive situation would be best for now. Still, I do givecyou a lot of credit - overall, you sound really strong and together!
As you can see, these types of communications have almost ceased here, sadly. Maybe we can be a nucleus for starting them again. I do wish all those great people who used to post would do so again, at least occasionally.i think the communication had a very positive effect, don't you?
Posted by rskontos on October 2, 2014, at 19:21:30
In reply to Re: MIA but back now... » rskontos, posted by Twinleaf on October 2, 2014, at 18:40:01
> It's so great to get such an informative follow-up. I do remember more about you now. It sounds as though there have been some pretty had things, but you also showed great strength and health, getting a graduate degree, finding a good therapist, dealing with everything in as positive a way as you can. I do agree with you about labels! I think everyone dissociates , or really just denies, when things are very stressful, and it's not very helpful to just get a label like that.
>
> It does sound as thogh you started off with one of the most stressful jobs you could have gotten! Maybe a bit easier, more supportive situation would be best for now. Still, I do givecyou a lot of credit - overall, you sound really strong and together!
>
> As you can see, these types of communications have almost ceased here, sadly. Maybe we can be a nucleus for starting them again. I do wish all those great people who used to post would do so again, at least occasionally.i think the communication had a very positive effect, don't you?Twinleaf, I do believe the communication was important. For me, it gave me a connection to people not IRL who understood what I was going through. I believe for all the negative energy here sometimes I was able to pick some positives from it hence my return. I am thrilled to hear from you. We can be a positive change here. I believe in putting out there what you want. Don't get me wrong I have very bad dark days (think today) but as my therapist reminded me today she said you are strong you have great abilities to cope with situations such as those I am continuing to work on. But she said don't be too hard on yourself for the decisions you have made because all any of us can do is work with the information we have from the position we stand in...i realized today that i have parented, loved, taught right and wrong, encouraged, myself to the point I am now. It has been tough but ALL of us on this site have resilience. We have gotten through tough times however pretty or ugly our emergence has been been and we are still here fighting the fight for some measure of ourselves to be better than we were or our situations were. That is something we ALL should examine and celebrate more. So I will unite with your to be the change we want to see and spread more communication so others can take from it whatever they are meant too!
Posted by rskontos on October 2, 2014, at 19:29:19
In reply to Re: MIA but back now... » Twinleaf, posted by rskontos on October 2, 2014, at 19:21:30
The other thing is right now I am going through a crisis in my marriage that I feel I cannot tell anyone, none of my friends or sisters or family. My children know because they are involved in the crisis but outside of them and my therapist I have discussed it with no one. I have one close friend that tries to be there for me but her father just died and I don't feel like intruding on her grief and her grieving process.
So for now even though I haven't yet spilled the details of my crisis, I feel better knowing you guys are here and will listen to me nonjudgmental. That is all I want. to vent and to rant....but that is for another discussion.
Posted by 10derheart on October 2, 2014, at 19:54:12
In reply to MIA but back now..., posted by rskontos on October 2, 2014, at 12:04:13
Hey....welcome. I remember you :-))
Posted by rskontos on October 2, 2014, at 21:20:31
In reply to Re: MIA but back now... » rskontos, posted by 10derheart on October 2, 2014, at 19:54:12
> Hey....welcome. I remember you :-))
Thanks for the welcome.......I remember you very well!
Posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2014, at 1:49:08
In reply to Re: MIA but back now... » 10derheart, posted by rskontos on October 2, 2014, at 21:20:31
welcome back. thanks for posting your update, it helps to have a bit of an idea about people. I'm not sure that i remember... but i have spent a great deal of time with my head mostly up my *ss over the past few years. I am glad you are here now. I know what you mean about not being able to talk to people IRL sometimes. about here being a good place to vent. and about finding understanding here, sometimes, too. i look forward to getting to know you.
Posted by Poet on October 3, 2014, at 13:36:53
In reply to MIA but back now..., posted by rskontos on October 2, 2014, at 12:04:13
Hi,
I remember you. The boards aren't like they used to be, hopefully if more people come back (I left for about five years)we can get it going again.
Poet
Posted by rskontos on October 3, 2014, at 14:11:32
In reply to Re: MIA but back now... » rskontos, posted by Poet on October 3, 2014, at 13:36:53
> Hi,
>
> I remember you. The boards aren't like they used to be, hopefully if more people come back (I left for about five years)we can get it going again.
>
> PoetPoet I remember you too! Nice to "see" you again. We will try to revive the boards. I am game. I have missed everyone here.
Posted by rskontos on October 3, 2014, at 14:14:16
In reply to Re: MIA but back now... » rskontos, posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2014, at 1:49:08
> welcome back. thanks for posting your update, it helps to have a bit of an idea about people. I'm not sure that i remember... but i have spent a great deal of time with my head mostly up my *ss over the past few years. I am glad you are here now. I know what you mean about not being able to talk to people IRL sometimes. about here being a good place to vent. and about finding understanding here, sometimes, too. i look forward to getting to know you.
Same here...I am not sure if I remember you either and I get the head up @ss thing. I have for the last few years tried to isolate myself again. not a good thing even if for the most part people aren't my thing. I am trying to be better. I look forward to getting to know you too.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2014, at 15:46:47
In reply to Re: MIA but back now... » alexandra_k, posted by rskontos on October 3, 2014, at 14:14:16
I certainly remember your posting name, but I have a bit of an ambivalent relationship to the psychology board. Mostly because I mostly couldn't access the therapeutic treatment that I thought would be good for me. I found it hard to read about peoples relationships with their therapists when I often didn't have a therapist or had a therapist who was a poor fit but didn't have alternative options. But then for a while... I did have a therapist who was fairly much what I thought I needed. And then I suppose it was I who let the relationship slide. And now... I meet with someone for coffee around every two weeks. And surprisingly... That is actually going really well for me. I think it is about what I need right now. So it will be easier for me to be here, I think. I have a history of dissociation... But late near the end of last year was diagnosed with Aspergers. A lot of the dissociation stuff has been re-cast as problems with sensory integration. Less focus on trauma and more on sensory overwhelm in the present. It has been... Liberating for me, actually. I suspect... Because I'm at the right point on my journey for it, if that makes sense. Having processed other aspects... Anyway... Relationships are the hardest thing in the world. I think. But I guess that is where I'm at :-D
Posted by rskontos on October 3, 2014, at 16:08:08
In reply to Re: MIA but back now... » rskontos, posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2014, at 15:46:47
> I certainly remember your posting name, but I have a bit of an ambivalent relationship to the psychology board. Mostly because I mostly couldn't access the therapeutic treatment that I thought would be good for me. I found it hard to read about peoples relationships with their therapists when I often didn't have a therapist or had a therapist who was a poor fit but didn't have alternative options. But then for a while... I did have a therapist who was fairly much what I thought I needed. And then I suppose it was I who let the relationship slide. And now... I meet with someone for coffee around every two weeks. And surprisingly... That is actually going really well for me. I think it is about what I need right now. So it will be easier for me to be here, I think. I have a history of dissociation... But late near the end of last year was diagnosed with Aspergers. A lot of the dissociation stuff has been re-cast as problems with sensory integration. Less focus on trauma and more on sensory overwhelm in the present. It has been... Liberating for me, actually. I suspect... Because I'm at the right point on my journey for it, if that makes sense. Having processed other aspects... Anyway... Relationships are the hardest thing in the world. I think. But I guess that is where I'm at :-D
>
>
>
Like TwinLeaf says many of us have dissociation which ranges across a continuum. I on the other hand am highly dissociative even to present day. I understand recently why. My marriage has been abusive but i dissociated and did not actually remember. My son had a huge blowup with his father and he told the whole sordid story and his sister confirmed it. It really pisses me off because once i got out of my parents home (mother crazy and allowed men to abuse me, wow that is hard to type still) father was aloof, disconnected, disinterested because he did not believe I was his, yep he told me this several years back, i wasn't ever going to be hurt again. Well unfortunately I was not always in the driver's seat of my life so I married someone that is damaged but in denial.Like you I have not been consistent in therapy because of school my pdoc/therapist and i went to an as needed basis. Then when I graduated he and I reconnected and 2 months later he died of a heart attack. And no one informed me. That basically knocked me off my axis, what little I felt I had at that time. The job was too much alone and my functional medicine doctor urged and urged me to quit because i was getting physically sick due to all the triggering this job caused. I have had to fight to get back to some assemblance of normal. Not quite there but doing better. Because it was taking me so long to recover the physical issues I knew I had to confront my past and begin recovery work on my memories. And to finally integrate my selves. it is hard hard work. I finally found another therapist after I went through so many that I connected with. I feel safe with her now.
I am glad you found a solution to therapy that works for you. It is important to connect and it seems you are doing pretty good. I am glad you recognized my posting name. i always went by rsk...when i signed things that is...
it is interesting that you received the Aspergers dx and the focus changed. like you said sometimes it is more a matter of how much we can handle at a given time. It seems that somehow the new dx freed your mind up to handle the healing process. It is great when we feel we are moving forward. toward healing and potential...good luck with the new situation for coffee/therapy.
If I overshare please accept my apologies...it has been too long of keeping things within my head...
Posted by baseball55 on October 3, 2014, at 19:36:58
In reply to Re: MIA but back now...Triggers!Possible, posted by rskontos on October 3, 2014, at 16:08:08
it's nice to see activity on this board. it has been dormant for a while. It's good to see people come back. Unfortunately, rskontos, I don't remember you, but I'm bad with names. Welcome back.
I used this board a lot when I was going through crazy heartache about my therapist. But I seem finally to be getting over it. My mental health has been pretty good for a while now. I continue to check babble every now and again because I am interested in many of the people here and because it was such a great help to me when I was in need.
Posted by Twinleaf on October 3, 2014, at 20:45:56
In reply to Re: MIA but back now...Triggers!Possible, posted by rskontos on October 3, 2014, at 16:08:08
I think dissociation can be a lifesaver - we do it when we would be just overwhelmed by trying to remember and deal with every trauma all at once. If we are in truly helpful therapy, we gradually feel stronger and the dissociation just naturally lessens without any special effort on our parts -it seems like it's one of the more healthy mental defenses, unlike, say, paranoia.
I have an ongoing strong interest in how to optimize our chances of getting a good fit n therapy. I have had so many so-so or bad fits - and one wonderful one. How does everyone negotiate this - do you interview many, many therapists, stay once or several times? What helps you to stay or leave? Frankly, my own one really excellent fit just happened - no careful choosing, advanced knowledge or anything.
Posted by rskontos on October 3, 2014, at 21:17:12
In reply to Re: MIA but back now...Triggers!Possible, posted by baseball55 on October 3, 2014, at 19:36:58
> it's nice to see activity on this board. it has been dormant for a while. It's good to see people come back. Unfortunately, rskontos, I don't remember you, but I'm bad with names. Welcome back.
>
> I used this board a lot when I was going through crazy heartache about my therapist. But I seem finally to be getting over it. My mental health has been pretty good for a while now. I continue to check babble every now and again because I am interested in many of the people here and because it was such a great help to me when I was in need.Thanks Baseball for the welcome! Sorry your therapist caused such heartache but glad you have moved past that experience and are in a better place. It is hard when therapy goes wrong. Great when it goes well but hard when it tanks.
I hope the increased activity will continue. I too gain much from my participation on these boards. I came here when I was in bad shape. Different from todays issues because I am in a better place now to deal with my what I hope is my final frontier to who I am with an actual identity. thanks again for the welcome.
Posted by rskontos on October 3, 2014, at 21:30:46
In reply to Re: MIA but back now...Triggers!Possible » rskontos, posted by Twinleaf on October 3, 2014, at 20:45:56
> I think dissociation can be a lifesaver - we do it when we would be just overwhelmed by trying to remember and deal with every trauma all at once. If we are in truly helpful therapy, we gradually feel stronger and the dissociation just naturally lessens without any special effort on our parts -it seems like it's one of the more healthy mental defenses, unlike, say, paranoia.
>
> I have an ongoing strong interest in how to optimize our chances of getting a good fit n therapy. I have had so many so-so or bad fits - and one wonderful one. How does everyone negotiate this - do you interview many, many therapists, stay once or several times? What helps you to stay or leave? Frankly, my own one really excellent fit just happened - no careful choosing, advanced knowledge or anything.
Twinleaf, I know dissociation for me saved me. Without it I would probably be dead. However with every good defense mechanism there comes a time when it is counterproductive. I have tried to rush the process abeit before I was actually ready. My brain is definitely smarter than my heart. I was doing well with my memory recovery when these issues with my family arose. then all the memories halted as I dealt with the family stuff. I still think I have to deal with my past before my present.As far as the therapist search, I struggled to find my p-doc (Dr S who died). I had a therapist that actually traumatized me worse and that is when I was lead to my long term p-doc. He was great. after his death I looked for another therapist through several sources. What I did was go a few times and then let the sessions sit with me. If I found I was drawn back I went if I did not I let it go and kept on searching. For me, I used instinct which has never steered me wrong. I tried all types: The one I have now I ran down by contacting another p-doc that a previous p-doc told me about being the leading authority on dissociation disorders. When I contacted her after several other therapist did not work, she was helpful, gracious , and knew my p-doc that passed very well. She would have taken me on but since I had gotten the DID dx she said she would not do that to me again as she was retiring in the next year or two. I appreciated that. She gave me two names and my current T was one of them. She also gave me her honest opinion on which one she thought would be the best fit. She said that if neither worked to call her back and she would help me. Thankfully I clicked with D. K. she fits me and gets me sometimes better than I do. and the first therapist that knows very I dissociate in the room and helps me figure out why. Priceless....her insights are amazing.
So for me as you see it took time, many false starts, and being diligent in looking for the right one not settling.. I hope this helps your ongoing research/interest. I personally know many therapists from my own training and I will say there are many types and you have to find the one that works for you and only you will know.
Posted by Twinleaf on October 4, 2014, at 9:23:00
In reply to Re: MIA but back now...Triggers!Possible » Twinleaf, posted by rskontos on October 3, 2014, at 21:30:46
Your recounting of your childhood makes it so clear how very traumatizing it was. And then there were retraumatizing factors in your adult life when love, support and understanding would have been crucial. But there are so many strong points all the way through - as you say, the loving parenting, constructive problem-solving, education and your successful quest to get therapy which would truly help. If I were a therapist, I would definitely want a client with the strengths you have! I do hope the future goes well, and that you have increasing times of joy and self-confidence. But, there's no question - it's a long , hard road.
It has seemed to me that the people who truly do better long- term are the ones who find helpful therapists. Something wonderful happens in our brains - perhaps only a small change - which no medication can ever replicate. It's not that all problems are solved, or that life becomes easy but it seems as if we become more like children who have been understood and loved, and so can find our way more successfully through whatever life brings. I guess that is why I would love to see this part of Babble regain a bit of life!
Posted by baseball55 on October 4, 2014, at 19:34:04
In reply to Re: MIA but back now...Triggers!Possible » baseball55, posted by rskontos on October 3, 2014, at 21:17:12
Actually, my heartache with my therapist was not because he was a problem, but because I had terrible issues with transference. I wanted to be his daughter, to be his friend. He handled it all very compassionately and professionally, but it was very painful for me.
I still see him every month or so, though I'm doing well. I love to see him. He is kind and validating and knows me better than anyone. It makes me very happy to see him.
As for "fit" - we have been a good fit. I had met with him and two other p-docs and just knew, after I saw him, that I wanted to do therapy with him. I'm not sure why. I just had this intuition and we have worked very well together. It is true though that all 3 docs I saw were male and significantly older than me. I guess, on some barely conscious level, I wanted a father figure. The way I thought about it at the time was that I was more comfortable with men, but I wanted a man too old to be sexually attractive. I understood, on some vaguely conscious level, that I would become obsessed and crazily attached to any man I did therapy with. I had never done therapy before, but I just kind of knew this. I didn't want that attachment to include sexual fantasies and longings. It would just be too much.
So I found him and we fit well. I had an intuition we would. I left his office after the first time feeling that I really wanted to talk to him again.
OTOH, I also started seeing a DBT therapist at his urging and have found her to be a good fit as well. Or at least I find her very helpful and trust her and feel I can lean on her when I need to. So that was pure luck. I wasn't nuts about her when I started, but DBT therapists are hard to find. It's just worked out. I don't adore her the way I do my p-doc, but I respect her and always find her helpful.
So how do you find someone who's a good fit? I don't know the magic formula. I was lucky and just did. Twice.
Posted by rskontos on October 8, 2014, at 22:39:54
In reply to Re: MIA but back now...Triggers!Possible » rskontos, posted by Twinleaf on October 4, 2014, at 9:23:00
> Your recounting of your childhood makes it so clear how very traumatizing it was. And then there were retraumatizing factors in your adult life when love, support and understanding would have been crucial. But there are so many strong points all the way through - as you say, the loving parenting, constructive problem-solving, education and your successful quest to get therapy which would truly help. If I were a therapist, I would definitely want a client with the strengths you have! I do hope the future goes well, and that you have increasing times of joy and self-confidence. But, there's no question - it's a long , hard road.
*******It is definitely a hard road. The hard thing is the retraumatizing by husband and in-laws I dissociated and only remembered when my son and daughter confronted their father about it. He of course remembers but tried to denial its harshness. And the effects on all of us. We are trying to work through it but I am not sure what will happen. He is trying....but
>
> It has seemed to me that the people who truly do better long- term are the ones who find helpful therapists. Something wonderful happens in our brains - perhaps only a small change - which no medication can ever replicate. It's not that all problems are solved, or that life becomes easy but it seems as if we become more like children who have been understood and loved, and so can find our way more successfully through whatever life brings. I guess that is why I would love to see this part of Babble regain a bit of life!I have been fortunate in two of my therapists. One therapist the first one actually traumatized me by saying if I gave it all up to God I would get well. The god card because I dissociated so badly on her I think she was overwhelmed. Despite her saying she had experience with this. I came back in a corner sobbing uncontrollably talking like a little girl. After that it was downhill, I would switch the minute I walked into that church were her office was. Bad bad time. I was so switchy that I rarely remembered driving to and from her office. I spoke in different voices I never heard it was awful. That is why Dr S my psychotherapist took me on, it upset him how badly she treated me. Luckily he helped me wit that and so much more. And my current T is so good. I stopped dissociate for the most part prior to my appt. Sometimes I dissociate with her but she knows and we work through it. Figuring out why and usually it is connected to the topic under discussion.
I hope we can revive Babble too. Of course me taking so long to respond doesn't help but we had major discussions going on here at home. With husband and son.
thank so much already being here has helped.
Posted by rskontos on October 8, 2014, at 22:44:38
In reply to Re: MIA but back now...Triggers!Possible » rskontos, posted by baseball55 on October 4, 2014, at 19:34:04
> Actually, my heartache with my therapist was not because he was a problem, but because I had terrible issues with transference. I wanted to be his daughter, to be his friend. He handled it all very compassionately and professionally, but it was very painful for me.
>
> I still see him every month or so, though I'm doing well. I love to see him. He is kind and validating and knows me better than anyone. It makes me very happy to see him.
>
> As for "fit" - we have been a good fit. I had met with him and two other p-docs and just knew, after I saw him, that I wanted to do therapy with him. I'm not sure why. I just had this intuition and we have worked very well together. It is true though that all 3 docs I saw were male and significantly older than me. I guess, on some barely conscious level, I wanted a father figure. The way I thought about it at the time was that I was more comfortable with men, but I wanted a man too old to be sexually attractive. I understood, on some vaguely conscious level, that I would become obsessed and crazily attached to any man I did therapy with. I had never done therapy before, but I just kind of knew this. I didn't want that attachment to include sexual fantasies and longings. It would just be too much.
>
> So I found him and we fit well. I had an intuition we would. I left his office after the first time feeling that I really wanted to talk to him again.
>
> OTOH, I also started seeing a DBT therapist at his urging and have found her to be a good fit as well. Or at least I find her very helpful and trust her and feel I can lean on her when I need to. So that was pure luck. I wasn't nuts about her when I started, but DBT therapists are hard to find. It's just worked out. I don't adore her the way I do my p-doc, but I respect her and always find her helpful.
>
> So how do you find someone who's a good fit? I don't know the magic formula. I was lucky and just did. Twice.
>
I am glad you found a good fit with this one and transference is part of it. sounds like he handled it well. That is always a great thing when they know. My p-doc/t told me up front transference would happen and that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing but as the professional it was up to him to handle. I am not sure how much it happened. I fought him for years....I did not want to care about him. He got that too. and never took anything I said to him personal. I still hold back so much of myself that i am not sure I have much transference. I understand how you would want a father figure....my pdoc/T took on that role on his own and he said I am not going to stop because you deserve a father figure in your life. I still think he was a better father than my own. When he died I was crushed. It is still hard to think of him as dead.I am not sure how to go about the fit. I think it is trial and error really and following your gut/intuition. that gut/intuition I think helped us survive to this point. IDK really...
Posted by Twinleaf on October 9, 2014, at 9:58:27
In reply to Re: MIA but back now...Triggers!Possible » Twinleaf, posted by rskontos on October 8, 2014, at 22:39:54
It sounds like your husband is acting out problems from abuse in his own childhood - I have read that that kind of projection is responsible for about 95% of marital breakdowns. Hopefully, he is motivated to make some real changes in his feelings and behavior. I think it's wonderful - and a tribute to you - that your children were insightful and resilient enough to identify the problem and help get it out in the open.
Your first therapist sounds about as bad as mine! Mine wanted me to meet him in the evenings for concerts and lectures, and when I wouldn't, began telling me I was the sickest, worst patient he had ever had. Unbelievably, I had such a need for an emotional connection at that point that I actually put up with it for several years - so hard to believe now.
Your next two therapists sound wonderful. They "got" you, and seemed to know just how to help you grow. What a gift these therapists have! Mine was the same - not excessively warm, but he, too, seemed to understand just what I needed. I feel that I have him inside me now, helping me make healthy decisions and responses; I don't feel that I actually need his presence.
Posted by baseball55 on October 9, 2014, at 19:08:34
In reply to Re: MIA but back now...Triggers!Possible » rskontos, posted by Twinleaf on October 9, 2014, at 9:58:27
> I feel that I have him inside me now, helping me make healthy decisions and responses; I don't feel that I actually need his presence.
I am trying to feel that way about my psychiatrist. He is 75 and partly retired and I see him only once ever 6 weeks. I keep feeling that I should grow up and move on at this point. I said this to a friend recently and she said - well, he's your dad. And he's not going to be around much longer, so you may as well see him for as long as you can. So that's where I'm at.
Posted by Twinleaf on October 10, 2014, at 8:43:39
In reply to Re: MIA but back now...Triggers!Possible » Twinleaf, posted by baseball55 on October 9, 2014, at 19:08:34
That actually sounds very reasonable. You have accomplished so much, and do have another therapist who has also been very helpful, even though the emotional connection is not the same, quite. We are probably lucky if we can experience this intense connection with a therapist once in a lifetime, and it is to be treasured and valued forever.
I might be in the same situation as you - occasional visits- except that mine retired fully and moved cross country. Because of that, we spent a year and a half grieving and saying goodbye. I am glad it worked out that way, as I now feel more complete in myself, and do not have a need to call or fly out to see him ( which he said I could do). But these things are so complex and multi-facetted; there's certainly no one right way to do it.
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