![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 3, 2014, at 1:43:44
Hi, everyone,
I'm hearing a few common themes:
* Not feeling validated or wanted. Feeling like a pariah, or like dog poop. Feeling judged and rejected. Feeling alone.
* Preferring self-censorship to conflict.
On the one hand, everyone doesn't have to eat at the same table. I'd just like no one to have to eat alone. OTOH, everyone seems to qualify for the doesn't-feel-validated table.
Bob
--
> I don't feel validated or wanted on this board.
>
> I really feel I don't fit in with the culture of this board. I would rather censor myself than insult anyone else or cause a misunderstanding.> See ya elsewhere.
> I became the pariah of my peers. When I would ask to join a table to eat with them, they'd agree. Then one by one, they'd leave, until I was alone. Every meal. ... I felt like Typhoid Mary
>
> I feel like dog poop that I have put both shoes into. And I wear them every day.
>
> PC> church voted me out of membership with my name up on a big screen,, followed by the words, "Conduct Unbecoming a Child of God."
>
> sassyfrancesca> I read this post as saying I was responding in a way that was not respectful to my therapist, which seemed to be a negative judgement on me.
> I am clearly a horrible, selfish, self centered person.
> Clearly I was uncivil to Lou
>
> However, I have explained my intent and my regret before, and it is clearly not sufficient to atone for my poor behavior.
>
> Therefore, I am blocking myself from Babble for one year.
>
> Dinah
Posted by Partlycloudy on July 3, 2014, at 7:29:47
In reply to hearing a few common themes, posted by Dr. Bob on July 3, 2014, at 1:43:44
At this point, I'm considering eating at my desk. I didn't post here to foment conflict. I don't post to initiate opposing views. What many see as a lively discussion, I might see as taking an adversarial position. I like to think I am writing from my own point of view and experiences. They aren't often taken this way.
So, I think paper bagging might be best for me.As far as common themes go, I would suggest that is part of the culture of this board. I think I REALLY don't belong here. I don't need, as someone put it, Attention. Deep listening? That is something else entirely. And if someone has an agenda to take an opposing position just for the sake of argument, well, that isn't and never has been my style. It feels less like discussion and more like attack.
This isn't how my world works, Dr. Bob. It's not swathed in fluffy cotton or bubble wrap. Neither does it have jaggedy edges. I try to, in the words of my San Culpa, "flow through life with ease and peace." This is the world I strive for.
Posted by alexandra_k on July 4, 2014, at 18:49:44
In reply to Re: hearing a few common themes » Dr. Bob, posted by Partlycloudy on July 3, 2014, at 7:29:47
hang in there pc...
i know you are going through a hard time of things...
i... had a pretty traumatic experience at rehab, too, honestly. people trying to get reduced jail sentences, as you say... in my situation... people found a way to get stuff in and things ended up with a bunch of people (including myself) leaving to escape urine testing and holding up in a motel for a week or so...
so... not the most... uh... uplifting of experiences, for sure.
sorry i'm... not exactly combative. contrary. sorry i'm contrary sometimes. mosttimes. all the time. i... can't much help it.
but it is important to me that you know i respect you a great deal. you are like... family. no... better than family. take care.
Posted by Partlycloudy on July 4, 2014, at 21:48:58
In reply to Re: hearing a few common themes » Partlycloudy, posted by alexandra_k on July 4, 2014, at 18:49:44
> hang in there pc...
>
> i know you are going through a hard time of things...
>
> i... had a pretty traumatic experience at rehab, too, honestly. people trying to get reduced jail sentences, as you say... in my situation... people found a way to get stuff in and things ended up with a bunch of people (including myself) leaving to escape urine testing and holding up in a motel for a week or so...
>
> so... not the most... uh... uplifting of experiences, for sure.
>
> sorry i'm... not exactly combative. contrary. sorry i'm contrary sometimes. mosttimes. all the time. i... can't much help it.
>
> but it is important to me that you know i respect you a great deal. you are like... family. no... better than family. take care.Thanks, Alex. Our experiences in rehab sound very similar, aside from the extraordinary cost.
I think I DO have to be more careful with what I share. That is it not the best outlet for me, ultimately. Especially when I am vulnerable. That's when I am likely to overlook the care in someone's reply, and only be able to see the contrariness. Dr. Bob may think this is something that can be accommodated or fixed somehow, but not necessarily. And Dinah is busy with other, frankly more mind boggling goings on here.Being as touchy as I am is my fault, and no one else's. When I am as raw as I am feeling, having to put on that pretend normal face IRL is struggle enough. That's why the support groups help so much. No masks. Leave them at the door.
I have to choose my words cautiously. This place is not what it used to be. I am learning.
I am happy to be in your family. I always wanted a cousin in NZ.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 5, 2014, at 22:09:40
In reply to Alexandra, posted by Partlycloudy on July 4, 2014, at 21:48:58
> I think I DO have to be more careful with what I share. That is it not the best outlet for me, ultimately. Especially when I am vulnerable. That's when I am likely to overlook the care in someone's reply, and only be able to see the contrariness. Dr. Bob may think this is something that can be accommodated or fixed somehow, but not necessarily.
What I wish is that those who saw contrariness in a post by you would sit at another table, and those who saw care would sit with you, and you would feel validated, and not alone, and they wouldn't feel alone, either.
Bob
Posted by Partlycloudy on July 6, 2014, at 7:08:52
In reply to Re: not feeling alone, posted by Dr. Bob on July 5, 2014, at 22:09:40
> > I think I DO have to be more careful with what I share. That is it not the best outlet for me, ultimately. Especially when I am vulnerable. That's when I am likely to overlook the care in someone's reply, and only be able to see the contrariness. Dr. Bob may think this is something that can be accommodated or fixed somehow, but not necessarily.
>
> What I wish is that those who saw contrariness in a post by you would sit at another table, and those who saw care would sit with you, and you would feel validated, and not alone, and they wouldn't feel alone, either.
>
> BobWouldn't that be nice?
Yeah, I will try to keep posting. Otherwise this is a lonely place.
PC
Posted by Angela2 on July 6, 2014, at 10:58:17
In reply to Re: not feeling alone » Dr. Bob, posted by Partlycloudy on July 6, 2014, at 7:08:52
Posted by Partlycloudy on July 6, 2014, at 11:25:58
In reply to I love this thread :-) (nm), posted by Angela2 on July 6, 2014, at 10:58:17
:-)
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.