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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on September 22, 2011, at 15:49:17
i have so very often thought that it is me...it is me that made everyone around me sick.
it was my fault for the abuse
it was me that MADE my mother hate me, angry with me, sad to me
it was me that made my x-boyfriend obsessive and controlling over me
i made him talk to me the way he did
i made him hit me
i got myself in the situation for the sexual assault(s)
and now...i've turned my husband into my mother...
*************************
i know...logically only that most of the above is not true.However the last one...
well,i still believe that part of me somehow released something that my x-bf could tell and he became obssessive/controlling and abusive because of that.and i still to this very day believe that somehow i turned my husband into my mother.
the EXACT person i never wanted to be around again.
i made it a point! to pick someone very like my father,NOT 'mother'. and when we were dating he was.
Ever since we've been married. He's become more and more like my mother, i guess more symptomatic of borderline features.
after my breakdown a few years ago and after all my medical/psychological issues he is more so than ever...emotionally abusive.i feel like its me.
do i really do this to people. and PLEASE dont say 'oh no chica of course you cant turn people into something, they are or they aren't'
because i dont think that's true.
he's changed. he NEVER used to be like this.all i know is (like the eminem song) when its good its Great... when it's bad its awful"..
:(
Posted by sigismund on September 22, 2011, at 22:20:53
In reply to in a relationship can one person make the other..., posted by B2chica on September 22, 2011, at 15:49:17
You can do this, as you know.
Life is like theatre where scenes are replayed and battles refought, propelled by some basic human energy. Are we trying to find a different resolution this time?
And of course you were not responsible for the original abuse, as again you know.
This is a very interesting subject. I am sure someone has expressed it well.
It brings to mind (in a quite different way) Frances Tustin's therapeutic formulation (psychodynamc, autism) 'The heartbreak which is at the centre of human existence must be experienced over and over in circles of ever widening maturity'.
Posted by ron1953 on September 23, 2011, at 12:51:49
In reply to Re: in a relationship can one person make the other... » B2chica, posted by sigismund on September 22, 2011, at 22:20:53
Interesting question. This may be of interest to you: http://www.therapy4couples.com/imago-theory.html
This is the end of the thread.
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