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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on November 11, 2008, at 23:11:40
truth about this....
this marijuana bingeing stuff
it's so ridiculous, but I am so avoiding reality right now, and so what right? but if he asks me I can't lie. I have a lot of trouble with lying.
Unfortunately, I have a lot of trouble with what I tell the truth about too!!
wouldn't it be easier to just not bring it up?
is heavy marijuana use something that should be discussed in therapy? I don't know...I mean does it matter?
I guess I'll probably find out.
Posted by obsidian on November 11, 2008, at 23:31:40
In reply to (sub abuse trigger) how am I supposed to tell the, posted by obsidian on November 11, 2008, at 23:11:40
"how's the smoking?"
"well, I am smoking a little more now... no big deal though, but when I get a chance...
(feels guilty, then says something else, a little closer to the truth, because she just can't freaking lie)eh whatever, it doesn't matter
Posted by DAisym on November 12, 2008, at 1:15:13
In reply to (sub abuse trigger) how am I supposed to tell the, posted by obsidian on November 11, 2008, at 23:11:40
If it was no big deal, you wouldn't be worried about it. the main question is, what is pain is being helped by this and is there another way to do this? If you feel you've started to abuse smoking, then there are lots of programs. If you are still functioning well, perhaps it isn't so much about how much you are smoking but rather what you aren't dealing with. It never all goes away, even when we medicate the sh*t out of ourselves.
hang in there and yes, - tell him about it.
Posted by muffled on November 12, 2008, at 9:41:57
In reply to and it feels like this is how it might go...., posted by obsidian on November 11, 2008, at 23:31:40
> "how's the smoking?"
>
> "well, I am smoking a little more now... no big deal though, but when I get a chance...
> (feels guilty, then says something else, a little closer to the truth, because she just can't freaking lie)
>
> eh whatever, it doesn't matter
>
*ummmm, ya, it DOES matter.
YOU matter.
The binging is bad.
I used to do that.
This modern day sh*t is strong.
Anyhow, my head got real messed, then I stopped, then try again and MAJOR paranoia.
Its is a DRUG.
Please tell T the truth.
Tell him how much, when, how often etc.
T can't help you if he don't know.
Daisy said good things.
Take care Sid.
Muffled
Posted by Wittgensteinz on November 12, 2008, at 10:50:09
In reply to Re: and it feels like this is how it might go...., posted by muffled on November 12, 2008, at 9:41:57
Sid,
I have to agree with Daisy and Muffled, this is important - that's why you are posting here about it, why it's on your mind. It's best to avoid lying about it - and if you avoid something that's on your mind, you might find it hard to concentrate on something else anyhow. If it's on your mind when you see your T, then try to speak it out. I hope he can help you with this - find a good way forward, one you're happy with. It sounds like you are in too much pain, and that's why you are self-medicating. Maybe there are prescribed alternatives. Too much long term marijuana use carries it's own mental health risks.
Take care,
Witti
Posted by Sigismund on November 12, 2008, at 13:43:59
In reply to Re: and it feels like this is how it might go...., posted by Wittgensteinz on November 12, 2008, at 10:50:09
And then there's the damage that has nothing to do with THC as such, to mouth, throat, lungs and the rest.
Posted by obsidian on November 12, 2008, at 21:54:28
In reply to Re: and it feels like this is how it might go...., posted by Wittgensteinz on November 12, 2008, at 10:50:09
I'm getting the feeling that there is no medication for this
this is just painful, incrediby painful
> Sid,
>
> I have to agree with Daisy and Muffled, this is important - that's why you are posting here about it, why it's on your mind. It's best to avoid lying about it - and if you avoid something that's on your mind, you might find it hard to concentrate on something else anyhow. If it's on your mind when you see your T, then try to speak it out. I hope he can help you with this - find a good way forward, one you're happy with. It sounds like you are in too much pain, and that's why you are self-medicating. Maybe there are prescribed alternatives. Too much long term marijuana use carries it's own mental health risks.
>
> Take care,
> Witti
Posted by DAisym on November 12, 2008, at 23:26:35
In reply to Re: and it feels like this is how it might go...., posted by obsidian on November 12, 2008, at 21:54:28
It is painful, there is no avoiding this truth. but I have to wonder, based on how you set up your original post - what else do you want to tell?
It seems like something is working hard to get out and you are working equally hard to keep it in. And that is super painful.
Posted by obsidian on November 13, 2008, at 21:20:06
In reply to Re: and it feels like this is how it might go.... » obsidian, posted by DAisym on November 12, 2008, at 23:26:35
you know I wish I could say I was suppressing a feeling...I don't know
mostly what I feel is empty
without the angst, that's what I amso here's how it went:
me, sitting, saying "hello"..."how are you?"
"what can I tell you...hmmm, I dunno...you pick a topic!"and I kept that up for a while, turned into some chit chat about I class I take. Then every now and then I'd take a deep sharp breath...and nothing (searching for topic), breathe in, search for topic, and then....I was like "blah, blah, blah..."I smoke a lot of pot...yeah"
T bows head and shakes it, says "how much?"
obsidian: "5 pounds a week!!!" - just kidding there, I didn't really say that, but I kind of wanted him to know that I was smoking a lot, like every chance I get..when I wasn't inconvenienced by things like work and friends I couldn't be high all the time withhe said I wasn't interested in changing my life
I said "I would've rather talked about anything rather than this." He said "your father smokes pot?" ...."yeah", says me, "he smokes it all the time."
he gave it to my sister when she was 15...didn't see any problem with thatand he's like "you're going to get depressed", and I'm like "yeah...I dunno about that", maybe not. ..and I said "I had to skip my medication because between that and the marijuana I wasn't going to get up in the morning" so naturally I chose the pot
and..."I don't know if I really need the medication anyway. You know I think I'd do OK without it."
and I'm thinking that 'we really don't know do we?...I might be just fine, nothing is really bothering me right now"and there was a whole lot about me just not being present...and that's the thing that bothers me maybe
Posted by muffled on November 13, 2008, at 21:37:41
In reply to Re: and it feels like this is how it might go.... » DAisym, posted by obsidian on November 13, 2008, at 21:20:06
((((Sid))))
Thats what I found when I was smoking alla the time.
Kinda just makes me lazy and not wanna do nothing.
Makes me kinda a zombie.
My short term memory was just shot too.
Maybe pot is ok in moderation, just for fun.
But I don't think its OK when you smoke to escape life.
When you feel compelled to smoke it.
Thats more addiction stuff.
You think its OK that you smoke as much as you do?
If you were standing back and looking at how you smoke as if it were a friend you cared about, what would you say to them?
Hope you OK.
M
Posted by obsidian on November 13, 2008, at 22:41:09
In reply to Re: and it feels like this is how it might go...., posted by muffled on November 13, 2008, at 21:37:41
no muffled I wouldn't think it would be ok for a friend to smoke as much as me
but I would understand itI asked him if he ever smoked pot...he was a little defensive, and said "why do you want to know?"
and I said because some people think it's "BAD"
and other people think that it's ok, but maybe that it's not good for everyone
I don't know what that means
and he said "I grew up in the sixties...I worked in a rehab in the 70's"" - as if he was saying "of course I've smoked pot! but there is a difference between someone saying it's not "bad", but it's not always a good idea"and today I told my pdoc that while I was walking toward the door that I have this tendency to think that people are hating me
and he said "what would you say if I said that I could never recall a time when I thought that I hated you"
and I said "oh, you probably did hate me at some point, you just don't remember" and I was so blase about the whole thing, he even laughed a little, maybe about me telling him what he thinks
...I dunno
Posted by obsidian on November 13, 2008, at 22:57:00
In reply to Re: and it feels like this is how it might go.... » muffled, posted by obsidian on November 13, 2008, at 22:41:09
Posted by muffled on November 14, 2008, at 17:52:10
In reply to Re: and it feels like this is how it might go.... » muffled, posted by obsidian on November 13, 2008, at 22:41:09
> no muffled I wouldn't think it would be ok for a friend to smoke as much as me
> but I would understand it*I think I proly understand to some extent.
But if its causing trouble, or you think it might be, well, then mebbe its time to cut back and/ot stop. BUT you need to replace the pot coping mechanism....find ways to cope w/o smoking...
> I asked him if he ever smoked pot...he was a little defensive, and said "why do you want to know?"
> and I said because some people think it's "BAD"
> and other people think that it's ok, but maybe that it's not good for everyone*LOL! He didn't want to say? LOL!!! I asked my T...I think she said she hadn't, and yet she was a child of the 60's.
LOL mebbe bring a joint in and ask him if he wants to toke up?! LOL!!!
I think pot is NOT really very good for people in ANY way really. Its hard on the body. But its also not the worst thing in the world in moderation I suppose.
That being said, I would REALLY NOT be happy if I found out my kids were smoking up.> I don't know what that means
> and he said "I grew up in the sixties...I worked in a rehab in the 70's"" - as if he was saying "of course I've smoked pot! but there is a difference between someone saying it's not "bad", but it's not always a good idea"
>
> and today I told my pdoc that while I was walking toward the door that I have this tendency to think that people are hating me*that'd be negative self talk. I was good at that. I used to foever twist stuff my oldT said. It kinda got to be a standing joke, that when she'd say stuff, she'df repeat it and check, and say DON'T you go twisting my words around!
I learned to check with her when her words seemed cruel, cuz that was a sure sign I was twisting, cuz she was never ever mean to me.> and he said "what would you say if I said that I could never recall a time when I thought that I hated you"
> and I said "oh, you probably did hate me at some point, you just don't remember" and I was so blase about the whole thing, he even laughed a little, maybe about me telling him what he thinks
> ...I dunno*he was laughing cuz you was seemingly sending him a joke bout not remembering.
But I bet he was telling the truth bout not ever hating you.
But of course, you sound like me with my twisting.
Its good to ask and check. Over and over if you have to.
Even if you don't beleive what they say.
Mebbe its sinks in some after a time.
Seems to have w/me.
Take care,
M
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