Posted by obsidian on November 13, 2008, at 21:20:06
In reply to Re: and it feels like this is how it might go.... » obsidian, posted by DAisym on November 12, 2008, at 23:26:35
you know I wish I could say I was suppressing a feeling...I don't know
mostly what I feel is empty
without the angst, that's what I amso here's how it went:
me, sitting, saying "hello"..."how are you?"
"what can I tell you...hmmm, I dunno...you pick a topic!"and I kept that up for a while, turned into some chit chat about I class I take. Then every now and then I'd take a deep sharp breath...and nothing (searching for topic), breathe in, search for topic, and then....I was like "blah, blah, blah..."I smoke a lot of pot...yeah"
T bows head and shakes it, says "how much?"
obsidian: "5 pounds a week!!!" - just kidding there, I didn't really say that, but I kind of wanted him to know that I was smoking a lot, like every chance I get..when I wasn't inconvenienced by things like work and friends I couldn't be high all the time withhe said I wasn't interested in changing my life
I said "I would've rather talked about anything rather than this." He said "your father smokes pot?" ...."yeah", says me, "he smokes it all the time."
he gave it to my sister when she was 15...didn't see any problem with thatand he's like "you're going to get depressed", and I'm like "yeah...I dunno about that", maybe not. ..and I said "I had to skip my medication because between that and the marijuana I wasn't going to get up in the morning" so naturally I chose the pot
and..."I don't know if I really need the medication anyway. You know I think I'd do OK without it."
and I'm thinking that 'we really don't know do we?...I might be just fine, nothing is really bothering me right now"and there was a whole lot about me just not being present...and that's the thing that bothers me maybe
poster:obsidian
thread:862445
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/862949.html