![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by seldomseen on October 22, 2008, at 18:59:14
My T and I were reminiscing about his old office today. He moved about 2 years ago.
The old place had this very long staircase leading up to his office. I told my T that I remember the first time I walked up those stairs thinking "What have I gotten myself into".
He asked me if it has been worth it.
I hesitated before I said yes and he got this stricken look on his face. He said, "I though you would've responded quicker".
I was really surprised he thought I would immediately and without reserve say "yes". I told him that therapy has been the hardest thing I have ever done. Both in developing and maintaining a relationship with him in addition to dealing with my own crap.
I gotta say, therapy, if you really invest and really work, is not a cakewalk. It's as demanding as a full time job - at least it has been for me.
I'm better now than I ever have been, I still have ups and downs of course. But I know myself a lot better and I'm aware of my issues. Not that I am always perfect in managing them, but I know they are there and can bypass some of the hurt.
I'm also braver and more willing to go through the hurt if I have to.
Am I wiser? No probably not, if anything, I'm more naive in a way. Much more trusting and much more accepting of my world and the things in it. Maybe that is wisdom, I don't know.
I've found things in my life that have made me very very happy.
I'm not sure any of this would have been possible without therapy and a very skilled therapist.
So yeah it's been worth it.
Seldom.
Posted by seldomseen on October 22, 2008, at 19:07:28
In reply to Has it been worth it?, posted by seldomseen on October 22, 2008, at 18:59:14
I can honestly say that therapy has given me the ability to chose things for myself.
Now while that may not seem like a big deal, to me it is. Looking back I can see clearly that some of the decisions I have made have been in response to or as a result of the abuse/rejection/neglect/violence of my past.
One thing that years of therapy has done is bring that past under my control and make my life the life I want to live, not as a response or slave to my past.
Yeah, that's a big check in "worth it" column.
S
Posted by Dinah on October 22, 2008, at 19:41:34
In reply to Has it been worth it?, posted by seldomseen on October 22, 2008, at 18:59:14
Absolutely.
I think it was survival for me, pure and simple. I don't think I could have made it with the added demands on me as a mother and wife. I think I would have broken down completely.
I know I'm messing my son up less than I would have without therapy. I know my marriage is on firmer ground. And I'm at least somewhat productive.
Beyond that, I have become wiser I think. More accepting and tolerant of myself and others. More aware of my issues, yes, absolutely. And more able to work with them.
I don't think of myself as grounded, yet I do sometimes see in myself the groundedness that I associate with the thoroughly therapized. Sometimes. I guess I have a ways to go. :)
Posted by stellabystarlight on October 22, 2008, at 20:59:45
In reply to Has it been worth it?, posted by seldomseen on October 22, 2008, at 18:59:14
My T asked me a similar question while we were reminiscing about my first visit with him, and I was also surprised by the look on his face when I hesitated before saying yes. This only confirmed that this emotionally and monitarily expensive therapy process is way harder on me then it is on him. The irrational side of me has a very hard time accepting this. Simply not fair!
It's great that therapy has helped you so much, Seldom. I can't wait for the day when I can say "I'm better now than I ever have been...I want to live, not as a response or slave to my past." It's so nice to hear about successful therapy stories where the client/patient has found a good fit with a skilled therapist. You seem to have realistic expectations from therapy, understanding the ups and downs, and understanding that it is definitely no cakewalk! I'm glad you're reminding me of this as I'm feeling a bit discouraged, and not feeling very brave about the "downs" of the therapeutic process that I'm experiencing.
Somedays I feel very lucky to have found him, especially when I notice my relationships with friends and family have improved in someways. But...other days, I simply get sick of the obsessive ruminating, and wonder if I might not have been better off without him, who triggers so much for me to work through. Therapy is very hard...I had no idea what I was signing up for a year ago! I hope my journey will work out as well as your journey has.
Stellabystarlight
Posted by rskontos on October 22, 2008, at 21:10:19
In reply to Re: Has it been worth it? » seldomseen, posted by stellabystarlight on October 22, 2008, at 20:59:45
I am truly glad you shared this. It gives me hope that I can make some progress no matter how stuck i seem to be to me.
I am heartened by you, Dinah and Stella.
Thanks guys.
It is a tough time for me and this is helpful insight.
rsk
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.