Posted by seldomseen on October 22, 2008, at 18:59:14
My T and I were reminiscing about his old office today. He moved about 2 years ago.
The old place had this very long staircase leading up to his office. I told my T that I remember the first time I walked up those stairs thinking "What have I gotten myself into".
He asked me if it has been worth it.
I hesitated before I said yes and he got this stricken look on his face. He said, "I though you would've responded quicker".
I was really surprised he thought I would immediately and without reserve say "yes". I told him that therapy has been the hardest thing I have ever done. Both in developing and maintaining a relationship with him in addition to dealing with my own crap.
I gotta say, therapy, if you really invest and really work, is not a cakewalk. It's as demanding as a full time job - at least it has been for me.
I'm better now than I ever have been, I still have ups and downs of course. But I know myself a lot better and I'm aware of my issues. Not that I am always perfect in managing them, but I know they are there and can bypass some of the hurt.
I'm also braver and more willing to go through the hurt if I have to.
Am I wiser? No probably not, if anything, I'm more naive in a way. Much more trusting and much more accepting of my world and the things in it. Maybe that is wisdom, I don't know.
I've found things in my life that have made me very very happy.
I'm not sure any of this would have been possible without therapy and a very skilled therapist.
So yeah it's been worth it.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:858802
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858802.html