Shown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lemonaide on October 15, 2008, at 18:21:24
Today should have been Baby Lia's birthday, I am lighting a candle on her birthday tonight and also today is the Nat'l remembrance for infant and miscarriages day. Gosh it hurts so bad to see and thing about this.
I said goodbye to my old guy T today, it was tearful for both, meaningful, and I will never forget him or what he said to me. And the hug. I am glad I went and did it in person.
Thursday is my 1st anniv. of my brother's death. I am still angry at my mom for killing him. The only way I will ever feel safe, will be when she is dead.
This week is more emotional than I thought it would be, but tears are appropriate for grief, so I am okay.
This will be my last post.
I could mention so many of you that have been a lifesaver for me, who gave me of themselves, you all know who you are. I appreciate knowing all of you and have learned so much.
Right now I am feeling really fragile, I have lost so much, and am feeling so sad today.
But I will be okay, and maybe some day I will come back, but right now I am too scared to read things that hurt me. I am not a bad person.
Posted by Dinah on October 15, 2008, at 18:37:44
In reply to This week is so emotional for me, posted by lemonaide on October 15, 2008, at 18:21:24
(((Lemonaide)))
Posted by DAisym on October 15, 2008, at 19:19:14
In reply to This week is so emotional for me, posted by lemonaide on October 15, 2008, at 18:21:24
"People were bringing these little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them."
I'm sure that Lia and your brother are in good hands and you will see them again some day.
Blessings and peace to you,
Daisy
Posted by LadyBug on October 15, 2008, at 19:29:36
In reply to This week is so emotional for me, posted by lemonaide on October 15, 2008, at 18:21:24
(((((((lemonaide)))))))
To take grieving out of death is like taking love out of life.
It's ok to grieve. We have to. My thoughts are with you always my friend. Do what you need to do to get through this time in your life. Nothing lasts forever, not even pain. You will have better days ahead. Life is a roller coaster. We have our highs and lows and we do the best we can with what we are given.
I love Dinah's post! There is much wisdom in it. Me, on the other hand, don't have much wisdom, but I do have understanding of loss, pain and suffering. May we endure it well.........may we both find peace and happiness. We deserve it.
My Best To You!!!
LadyBug
Posted by Phillipa on October 15, 2008, at 23:25:45
In reply to Re: This week is so emotional for me » lemonaide, posted by LadyBug on October 15, 2008, at 19:29:36
Lemonaide a year already time moves too quickly. My feeling is that posting will help you through this trying time. Love Phillipa
Posted by seldomseen on October 16, 2008, at 6:13:35
In reply to This week is so emotional for me, posted by lemonaide on October 15, 2008, at 18:21:24
I wish our minds and hearts could put a time table on grief. Like they say "We are only going to grieve our losses for 6 months and then it's over".
But they don't. Grief lasts as long as it lasts. But it will lessen. I'm not convinced that it ever fully goes way, but it does lessen. I think somehow we just incorporate it into who we are and carry it with us.
While I can never fully feel what you are going through right now, I can grieve with you and the compounded losses that you are feeling. I can also honor your grief.
I'm really glad you posted. Take care.
Seldom.
Posted by TherapyGirl on October 16, 2008, at 7:01:32
In reply to This week is so emotional for me, posted by lemonaide on October 15, 2008, at 18:21:24
((((((((Lemonaide))))))))
I know you will get through this week, but I'm sorry it's so hard for you right now. I do hope you'll come back sooner rather than later. There is a lot of support here in Babbleland and I'd hate for you to miss out on that.
Posted by FindingMyDesire on October 16, 2008, at 9:37:53
In reply to Re: This week is so emotional for me, posted by TherapyGirl on October 16, 2008, at 7:01:32
Dear Lemonaide,
I did light a candle last night. Because of your earlier post I learned about how October 15th was a day for remembering loss. As you know, I just suffered a miscarriage. So I thought of us both.And I'm thinking of you this morning. Take good care. I'm sorry things are so tough!
((((((((Lemon))))))))
Posted by lemonaide on October 16, 2008, at 14:16:28
In reply to Re: This week is so emotional for me » lemonaide, posted by Dinah on October 15, 2008, at 18:37:44
Thanks DInah, You are a good friend. I forgot when I turn my babblemail off, I can't contact those either.
Posted by lemonaide on October 16, 2008, at 14:23:28
In reply to Re: This week is so emotional for me » lemonaide, posted by LadyBug on October 15, 2008, at 19:29:36
Hi Ladybug,
I am trying to take it day by day, I talked a lot about my feelings today in therapy.
"To take grieving out of death is like taking love out of life."
This is a good saying! I feel you have more wisdom than you know right now.
Posted by lemonaide on October 16, 2008, at 14:25:33
In reply to Re: This week is so emotional for me » lemonaide, posted by DAisym on October 15, 2008, at 19:19:14
Thanks Daisy for the supportive post, I hope someday I will see them and others.
Posted by lemonaide on October 16, 2008, at 14:26:59
In reply to Re: This week is so emotional for me, posted by Phillipa on October 15, 2008, at 23:25:45
Hi PHillipa,
Ya, it is hard to believe it has been a year, I was thinking that too..
Posted by lemonaide on October 16, 2008, at 14:29:31
In reply to Re: This week is so emotional for me » lemonaide, posted by seldomseen on October 16, 2008, at 6:13:35
Thanks Seldom,
I wish I could say in such and such time it will hurt less. But these anniversaries have a way of bringing out the feelings that I felt when it happened. I am not used to sad anniversaries.
Posted by lemonaide on October 16, 2008, at 14:33:36
In reply to Re: This week is so emotional for me, posted by TherapyGirl on October 16, 2008, at 7:01:32
Thankyou Therapy Girl, your support means so much. I know babbleland can be helpful, but sometimes it can hurt too, and I am super fragile right now, I probably shouldn't be viewing.
Posted by lemonaide on October 16, 2008, at 14:37:50
In reply to Re: This week is so emotional for me, posted by FindingMyDesire on October 16, 2008, at 9:37:53
Hi FMD ((((FMD)))
I actually thought about you too, I mentioned the rememberence day but I didn't know how you are feeling about your miscarriage, so I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable with it.
I had a good session today and feel good about my new T again.
Posted by llurpsienoodle on October 16, 2008, at 17:32:17
In reply to Re: This week is so emotional for me » FindingMyDesire, posted by lemonaide on October 16, 2008, at 14:37:50
Hey lemonaide,
I know you're feeling fragile, so I'll give you extra gentle little hugs. You can save them in a paper bag for later if you need them. So much in your life has changed in this year. I hope you can get a moment to sit with yourself and just... be you. It's nice to see you allowing yourself to remember these anniversaries, without pushing them aside, or repressing them. It takes a lot of heart to acknowledge feeling hurt and sensitive.Take good care of you, you're very important (around here! and also with those many people who love you IRL)
-Ll
Posted by lemonaide on October 17, 2008, at 22:27:04
In reply to Re: This week is so emotional for me » lemonaide, posted by llurpsienoodle on October 16, 2008, at 17:32:17
Thanks Li,
That was so sweet of you to say.
I think I may be repression my brother's death because I actually forgot about it mostly yesterday, and I felt nothing. Probably me protecting myself from opening that pandora's box.
This is the end of the thread.
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