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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on October 9, 2008, at 13:00:54
My husband threw up last night. The first time since we were married, I think. I tanked up on Risperdal (and feel really thick and groggy and out of it today), stuck my earphones in my ears, turned the TV way up, and still... He throws up really loud.
Still, I offered him help afterwards, and checked on him several times in the night, and reassured him that he didn't need to worry about me, to think of himself. (He's seen me at my worst with the phobia.)
He's got some anti-nausea medication now and seems to be feeling a bit better. I called my therapist and left a message but apparently "I called because I need some reassurance" doesn't count as "Please call me", although I don't know how else he'd reassure me. Still the risperdal is keeping the panic at bay, and I did do what was needed I guess. Maybe I'm not the perfect wife in these instances, but I did check on him and didn't leave the house or anything. It really makes me unhappy with myself and worried about the future. If my husband ever gets sick for a long period of time, I don't know how I'll cope. Best not to think of it right now.
I hope my son and I don't come down with it. I don't know if I can stand having vomit coming from every direction.
I wonder how long vomit contamination takes to wear off? There are some places in parking lots that never become uncontaminated. Even some spots in my parents' house that I have to walk around. I'd hate to feel like my husband is contaminated.
Posted by TherapyGirl on October 9, 2008, at 21:20:18
In reply to My vomit phobia, posted by Dinah on October 9, 2008, at 13:00:54
I understand this completely, Dinah. I was looking at new furniture tonight (which I can't really afford on top of the whole renovation thing) just because of the mice. So I'm right there with you.
I don't have any answers for you. I hope your T will call you tomorrow. I think it was clear you wanted him to call. Maybe he just had a really busy day.
((((((((Dinah)))))))
Posted by Dinah on October 9, 2008, at 21:48:11
In reply to Re: My vomit phobia » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on October 9, 2008, at 21:20:18
I finally did call him back and got him. I can't say he was a lot of help. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm terrible, and he feels sorry for my husband, although he did say that I had done what I needed to do, and that he knew I could get through it. He's never taken it all that seriously, despite the fact that it's led to a few minor breakdown and my one largest breakdown over the years. I started to refuse to leave the house during my teen years because of it. My life was pretty much centered around it. I've gotten better over the years, I guess, or maybe better at hiding it. When I'm really stressed, though, it takes over again.
It's really beyond phobia into obsession and he does agree with that. I guess he just puts himself in my husband's place rather than mine. Which is fair enough I guess.
I'm really sorry about the mice. Is there any sign that they got into the furniture? Although I understand that contamination fears can't be so easily calmed with logic. Because, for me at least, it isn't so much the physical residue that matters, it's the awareness that can't be cleaned away.
Posted by TherapyGirl on October 9, 2008, at 22:20:16
In reply to Re: My vomit phobia » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on October 9, 2008, at 21:48:11
Exactly. It's the awareness. There was some stuff under some of the furniture. I can't tell how extensive it is because I can't get to the furniture and tackle it with everything I have. So today it seemed like a better idea to replace the furniture.
Sorry your T wasn't more help (or at least more sympathetic). My T does completely get the mouse thing -- we've been dealing with it on and off for over 23 years now. Of course, she thinks this is some kind of abuse trigger for me. Maybe it is. I have had recurring nightmares about them all my life. Always when I'm stressed. They are like the repository for all of the anxiety I feel. So how fabulous that they show up in my house during weeks 7 and 8 of my T being away from me. Just perfect.
I do think you handled the vomit really well. I hope your husband is better by now. Maybe we can both breathe deeply and try to move on. I'll let you know if it works for me and hope that it works for you.
Posted by Dinah on October 9, 2008, at 22:50:17
In reply to Re: My vomit phobia » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on October 9, 2008, at 22:20:16
> They are like the repository for all of the anxiety I feel.
Exactly! I've come to understand that too.
I too have had recurring dreams about it. Always the same dream, and my mother says it's entirely possible it actually happened, though I was far too young for it to have been a memory.
Your therapist sounds wonderful. I'm glad she'll be back soon.
Posted by FindingMyDesire on October 9, 2008, at 23:41:39
In reply to My vomit phobia, posted by Dinah on October 9, 2008, at 13:00:54
Hi Dinah,
I guess I haven't been on Babble long enough to know about your phobia. When I read the topic I thought, "Oh yeah, I'm TOTALLY afraid I'll throw up in therapy some day!"But phobias are so hard and it sounds like this is so tough. I'm surprised you were able to stay in the house and it sounds like you did what you needed to do. I hope you are able to focus on the fact that your T said, "that I had done what I needed to do, and that he knew I could get through it" and not the part where you think he thinks are you "terrible"...
Hang in there and I sure hope you and your son steer clear of it!
FMD
Posted by seldomseen on October 10, 2008, at 6:51:23
In reply to My vomit phobia, posted by Dinah on October 9, 2008, at 13:00:54
Yeah, vomit isn't way up there on my list of favorite things either.
Phenergan, lysol and bleach got me through many "gall bladder attacks" with my mom. They are powerful stuff though and I would save them only for vomit emergencies.
Then I went to college where people would drink until they puked (and yes, I did that a couple of times myself) and I got over it pretty quickly. Talk about immersion therapy.
In my experience vomit contamination where you live has a short half-life. Less than a week. It's even shorter if treated with bleach.
But as you noted, some places can never be fully decontaminated and just have to be avoided.
Seldom
Posted by Phillipa on October 10, 2008, at 10:54:47
In reply to Re: My vomit phobia » Dinah, posted by seldomseen on October 10, 2008, at 6:51:23
I don't like vomit either my third child for 18 mths projectile vomited every feeding. I'd then refeed her. And working in the hospital I'd jump out of the way when patients vomited. Not high on my list of things I like. I thought once it was cleaned up that was it? Love Phillipa
Posted by muffled on October 10, 2008, at 15:06:28
In reply to Re: My vomit phobia » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on October 9, 2008, at 21:48:11
Dinah, you ever think of trying EFT or something like that for your phobia?
The EFT website is a bit over the top, but I mentioned it to my T who does EMDR(not on me), and she has heard of EFT and has done it(I dunno what she DON'T know bout...).
She offered to try it on me, but I CHICKEN!!! And I don't really have a specific thing anyhow.
So its proly safe enuf.
But you can do EFT yourself as well.
I haven't heard anything too horrible about it, other than it doesn't always work.
I trust my T's knowledge. She is very educated and knows alot about how the brain works etc. She does teaching and training and has written books.
Maybe this could help you step down the intensity of this phobia for you?
Might be worth a try....
Take care,
M
Posted by Dinah on October 10, 2008, at 16:57:41
In reply to EFT, posted by muffled on October 10, 2008, at 15:06:28
The therapist I tried EMDR with gave up on the EMDR and tried EFT with me the last session. Neither did a thing for me. My therapist suggested EMDR or EFT today too, when I expressed a reluctance to engage in desensitization. Not that he pushed it or anything. Just said he'd heard of it being used instead of exposure and desensitization.
But apparently I'm one of those people it just doesn't work for. It might possibly work if my own therapist did it, but he doesn't show any desire at this point to learn those skills.
Posted by Dinah on October 10, 2008, at 16:59:11
In reply to Re: My vomit phobia, posted by Phillipa on October 10, 2008, at 10:54:47
Jumping out of the way wouldn't work for me. I'd still be in cardiac arrest.
It's not that sort of contamination. Perhaps I could come up with some ritual purification rite that might work. :(
Posted by Dinah on October 10, 2008, at 17:04:47
In reply to Re: My vomit phobia » Dinah, posted by seldomseen on October 10, 2008, at 6:51:23
There's one of the main reasons I didn't go to college and rarely go to the quarter in the evenings. Blech.
I've decided to try to concentrate on the fact that people shed their skin cells every day. Surely it won't be long until my husband's contamination is shed. Or I could really try to come up with a purification rite. He's a good sport.
We talked about it a lot today in therapy. I guess the topic hadn't come up recently. No pun intended. That and the fates. I asked if my therapist was going to write this up as delusional thinking, and he said no, he didn't plan to. Did I think he should?
And no. I don't really think he should. I know none of it is real. But I also know that it's entirely real.
Posted by Dinah on October 10, 2008, at 17:11:57
In reply to Re: My vomit phobia, posted by FindingMyDesire on October 9, 2008, at 23:41:39
You know what's great? I found out today that he really doesn't think I'm terrible. He says it's no different from someone who faints at the sight of blood. You can't just expect them to behave better because it's the right thing to do, because it isn't really under their control.
He said it isn't necessary that I find a way to be useful in vomit situations. I just need to try to make sure whoever needs help gets it. It doesn't have to be from me directly. And if I metaphorically pass out (in the form of becoming nonfunctional) instead, it didn't mean I was a terrible selfish person.
So maybe I've been projecting my own feelings onto him all these years. He doesn't really *understand* and he admits that. But he doesn't think badly of me or feel sorry for my husband.
Posted by muffled on October 10, 2008, at 23:58:54
In reply to Re: EFT » muffled, posted by Dinah on October 10, 2008, at 16:57:41
EFT isn't hard to learn, and can be self applied.
Did you ask your t if he would be willing to look into it?
Also there's body work and stuff, I dunno how that stuff works.
Take care,
M
Posted by Kath on October 14, 2008, at 20:50:45
In reply to Re: EFT, posted by muffled on October 10, 2008, at 23:58:54
www.tatlife.com
has a video of Dick Morill (sp?) - a Vietnam veteran who had been trapped in a helicopter crash & severely traumatized. TAT helped him overcome it. It's a fairly short video of him.
I use either EFT or TAT pretty-well every day as some of my tools to help me try to get from day to day, or more often recently, from minute to minute.
If you have ANY questions about TAT, please feel free to ask me.
Sometimes even holding my hands in the TAT position helps fears, etc sort of melt a bit.
luv, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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