Shown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on February 18, 2008, at 18:30:14
I deal with anxiety and worry everyday of my life. I am working on changing this and kudos to Kath, have decided to write about the progress I make here on PB. I hope you all enjoy reading it.
It has sort of turned into agoraphobia because I have a comfort zone as to where I feel safe going and where I do not. My house is the safest I feel. But by staying close to home all the time, I have given up having friends, a job, and even just volunteering at local organizations.
Here is a letter I wrote to the worry and anxiety I experience. It was very therapeutic for me to write:
Dear Anxiety, Avoidance, and Negative irrational thinking,I do not want to have a relationship with you anymore. I stop for you, I pay attention to you. But you dont pay attention to me and my needs. You keep me away from the people and things that I love. I dont want you to keep dragging me down. You promise me safety. But you dont bring me happiness. And the safety you promise me is just an illusion. So Good Bye.
It was the most honest I have ever been with myself about what I experience. And I feel good about that.
OK, so today I went to the craft store to buy yarn. I was nervous and catastrophizing that I might faint or something, which didn't help (note-catastrophizing doesn't help..) But I did it and I feel good about it.
Tomorrow I am going to go to 2 places, one close by, another a little farther.
Posted by Kath on February 18, 2008, at 19:11:40
In reply to My Log, posted by Angela2 on February 18, 2008, at 18:30:14
Hi Angela,
I'm so glad you posted & I am BLOWN AWAY by that letter you wrote!!! It is so insightful & amazing.
Congrats for the craft store expedition (or 'expotition' as Pooh Bear in Winnie the Pooh, calls it.....or is it Christopher Robin who calls it that?)
Have you seen the movie, What About Bob? It's a great movie. I love that movie. Bill Murray is in it.
take care Angela, hugs, Kath
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on February 18, 2008, at 21:11:32
In reply to Re: My Log » Angela2, posted by Kath on February 18, 2008, at 19:11:40
Hi angela,
I felt like that once, and I do slip back into that pattern on days when I have nothing scheduled. It's so hard to leave the house when the world seems a scary place.I hope that your therapy gets off the ground smoothly and that you make good progress.
Nobody should live with this kind of anxiety
(((((((angela)))))))
-Ll
ps. you knit or crochet?
Posted by Phillipa on February 18, 2008, at 23:49:40
In reply to Re: My Log, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on February 18, 2008, at 21:11:32
Angela I have it too sounds the same for me. Sometimes I can venture out but haven't left alone in months now. That movie Kath mentions Baby Steps is what I call the progression from one thing to two or so. Go slow and steady. But keep up the good work. I'd love to follow your log as I may follow it and do as you do. Thanks great progress. Love Phillipa
Posted by Angela2 on February 19, 2008, at 18:36:32
In reply to Re: My Log » Angela2, posted by Kath on February 18, 2008, at 19:11:40
> Hi Angela,
>
> I'm so glad you posted & I am BLOWN AWAY by that letter you wrote!!! It is so insightful & amazing.
>Wow thanks Kath. It's just how I feel. Since I've started seeing a new T I feel like I'm going more indepth into what my issues are.
> Congrats for the craft store expedition (or 'expotition' as Pooh Bear in Winnie the Pooh, calls it.....or is it Christopher Robin who calls it that?)
>Thanks. It's right aroound the corner of my house, pretty close. But sometimes I haven't felt comfortable even going that far.
> Have you seen the movie, What About Bob? It's a great movie. I love that movie. Bill Murray is in it.
>
yeah I've seen parts of it Kath. doesn't bill murray go to live with his therapist?> take care Angela, hugs, Kath
Kath, thank you for your support here and in chat. I like how you are so positive
Posted by Angela2 on February 19, 2008, at 18:40:31
In reply to Re: My Log, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on February 18, 2008, at 21:11:32
> Hi angela,
> I felt like that once, and I do slip back into that pattern on days when I have nothing scheduled. It's so hard to leave the house when the world seems a scary place.
>
> I hope that your therapy gets off the ground smoothly and that you make good progress.
>
> Nobody should live with this kind of anxiety
>
> (((((((angela)))))))
> -Ll
> ps. you knit or crochet?Thanks Llurpsie. I hope therapy goes well too. I know what you mean about slipping back. I yo-yo, sometimes I can do more, sometimes less. I think I just need to push myself more. My friend called me in distress once and asked me to come pick her up, and she lives 20 min away from me-and I drove all the way to her house to pick her up. this was a few weeks ago.
YES maam I do knit, I only know how to do scarves, but I love it.
Posted by Angela2 on February 19, 2008, at 19:00:00
In reply to Re: My Log, posted by Phillipa on February 18, 2008, at 23:49:40
> Angela I have it too sounds the same for me. Sometimes I can venture out but haven't left alone in months now. That movie Kath mentions Baby Steps is what I call the progression from one thing to two or so. Go slow and steady. But keep up the good work. I'd love to follow your log as I may follow it and do as you do. Thanks great progress. Love Phillipa
Phillipa, that is so awesome. I think It would be cool to help you and others who may read by going through this and learning how to get out of it, knock on wood.
baby steps are important I know. One thing my mom told me the other day -and it just STUCK in my head because it made so much sense- is "you have to challenge yourself and go out of your comfort zone." That doesn't mean get on a plane and go across the country obviously, but that is what I have been trying to do, driving (or walking) to places a little bit farther than the day before. And if I don't succeed, I know I can try it again later. I noticed that when I am out taking these risks, it helps to think positively and tell myself I can do it, or just think of something funny or calming. And going home after going to place such and such is such a good feeling.
ok now I know why this is called psycho babble. I hope I didn't babble on and on, just wanted to share some of what I learned and what is helping.
Posted by Phillipa on February 19, 2008, at 19:12:41
In reply to Re: My Log » Phillipa, posted by Angela2 on February 19, 2008, at 19:00:00
Angela no you didn't go on and on. Did you know that your words were what my therapists through the years and pdocs have said to me. Do something go somewhere everyday. But what stopped my progression many times was doing too much too fast . If I accomplished two things I'd say well then I will go onward and do three. But in a way it's called flooding. Too much too soon all at once. Works for some not me. So post progress daily and others like us maybe will join in and do the same and we will know we're not the only one who feels this way. Ever drive in a car and see all the other drivers going everywhere and it's a piece of cake to them. They have no idea how hard it is for many of us. Love Phillipa
Posted by Kath on February 19, 2008, at 19:54:26
In reply to Re: My Log » Kath, posted by Angela2 on February 19, 2008, at 18:36:32
> > Hi Angela,
> >
> > I'm so glad you posted & I am BLOWN AWAY by that letter you wrote!!! It is so insightful & amazing.
> >
>
> Wow thanks Kath. It's just how I feel. Since I've started seeing a new T I feel like I'm going more indepth into what my issues are.************I think that's great. was the letter your new T's idea? It's such a good idea******
>
> > Congrats for the craft store expedition (or 'expotition' as Pooh Bear in Winnie the Pooh, calls it.....or is it Christopher Robin who calls it that?)
> >
>
> Thanks. It's right aroound the corner of my house, pretty close. But sometimes I haven't felt comfortable even going that far.***********well then, for you it's like an expedition!! A major event.*****
> > Have you seen the movie, What About Bob? It's a great movie. I love that movie. Bill Murray is in it.
> >
> yeah I've seen parts of it Kath. doesn't bill murray go to live with his therapist?*******His T is going away on holiday & 'Bob' is SO upset not to have 'access' to his T that he finds out where the cottage is & lands there! It's worth seeing the whole thing from the beginning!! ********
> > take care Angela, hugs, Kath
>
> Kath, thank you for your support here and in chat. I like how you are so positive******you're welcome. I'm glad to be a support for you Angela. Thx for saying that about me. And I like about you - that you are direct in saying things!! Like the other night on Chat (was that yesterday?!) and even saying the above. I wish you the very best & see, you're already inspiring Phillipa.
hugs, Kath******
Posted by Kath on February 19, 2008, at 19:58:03
In reply to Re: My Log » Phillipa, posted by Angela2 on February 19, 2008, at 19:00:00
Heavens - you didn't babble too much. I'm so glad you're posting about this Angela. it's inspiring - not that I have the same problem, but that sort of idea can be applied to various situations.
I like what your Mom said & your interpretation - not meaning you're going to try going to Alaska to bungee jump, right? to stretch just outside of your comfort zone. yay for you!
xoxo Kath
Posted by Kath on February 19, 2008, at 19:59:42
In reply to Re: My Log » Angela2, posted by Phillipa on February 19, 2008, at 19:12:41
Phillipa, once you're recovered from your surgery, you & Angela can be buddies. And anyhow, just going for surgery is a huge leap!!!!
Yay for you!!!!
luv, Kath
Posted by Phillipa on February 19, 2008, at 20:10:14
In reply to Re: My Log » Phillipa, posted by Kath on February 19, 2008, at 19:59:42
Kath and if honest very scarey someone please come hold my hand. Love Phillipa
Posted by Angela2 on February 20, 2008, at 15:57:24
In reply to Re: My Log » Angela2, posted by Phillipa on February 19, 2008, at 19:12:41
Flooding is scary. Especially when you think you are not ready or are having any negative thoughts about going into the situation(s). The good thing to say about it is that anxiety or panic reaches a peak and then goes away and you arwe left with a feeling of relief. But I'm all for the baby steps. flooding is scary and sometimes can make you feel MORE afraid of doing things.
Posted by Phillipa on February 20, 2008, at 22:20:46
In reply to Re: My Log » Phillipa, posted by Angela2 on February 20, 2008, at 15:57:24
Angela it did for me. Phillipa
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