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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on October 5, 2007, at 18:03:47
Thinking of you. ((((B2)))))))))))
Posted by rskontos on October 7, 2007, at 20:16:21
In reply to How's it going B2?, posted by happyflower on October 5, 2007, at 18:03:47
Yeah, B2c are you ok.
Posted by B2chica on October 8, 2007, at 8:36:57
In reply to Re: How's it going B2?, posted by rskontos on October 7, 2007, at 20:16:21
thanks for thinking of me you two.
i REALLY appreciate it. i kinda need it too.i've been a little 'off' these last few days. it's like i'm not feelin 'real'.
i'm not sure if i'm dissociated or not.
i feel a bit like teen, but not the anger/rage stuff. just immature (heck maybe that's just really me?haha) but saturday i dyed my hair...it's almost black now. and painted my nails (toes and hands) dark blue. im not entirely sure i completely remember doing it. (the nails). just feeling kinda 'out of it'. and i'm feeling the need to wear all rings and bracelets and stuff...i normally don't wear them to work. but i am....i kinda feel like i'm going in and out. so i don't know how attentive i'll be on the boards this week.
i want to read much more but cant keep focus either.i see T tomorrow.
i;m glad. i had a suicide dream this weekend. kinda scared me. but it was actually teen doing it right after i see T. so i getting kinda worried to go see T tomorrow...right after the dream i wanted to call up and cancel appt. but i know that not going to help me any. and i'm so fuzzy and laidback today that i'm not at all worried about S. risk.Thank you both.
b2c.
Posted by muffled on October 8, 2007, at 10:21:44
In reply to Re: How's it going B2?, posted by B2chica on October 8, 2007, at 8:36:57
S'OK if you don't post B2, but it sure is nice if you can pop in like this and say Hi!
Stay in touch with T while you having this rocky time.
When in doubt seek out and hang out with trusted others.
I hope teen/you whoever can talk bout safety at T.
I tend to be constantly on edge, so when i get real calm, it makes me nervous! TOLD ya I nuts! LOL!
So keep in mind that we thinking of you B2 OK? That you guys are NOT alone. Thats there's others with others and we understand and its OK.
Take good care,
M
Posted by rskontos on October 8, 2007, at 10:43:15
In reply to Re: How's it going B2? » B2chica, posted by muffled on October 8, 2007, at 10:21:44
BSc, I am glad though you let us know how you are. I was a little worried but is it ok you post when you need too. I might just nudge you from time to time to see how you are if that is ok. rk
Good luck in T.
Posted by rskontos on October 8, 2007, at 10:44:32
In reply to Re: How's it going B2?, posted by rskontos on October 8, 2007, at 10:43:15
typo I meant B2c. sorry. new meds on board.....
Posted by B2chica on October 8, 2007, at 11:30:50
In reply to Re: How's it going B2? » B2chica, posted by muffled on October 8, 2007, at 10:21:44
thanks for making me feel ok muffy.
it seems like this is the only place in the whole world that i dont feel like an utterly damaged freak.
sometimes i just HATE MYSELF i want TO GET OUT!!!!!!!!
GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!
I LIKE F_ING MESGE BRDS!!!!
TRIGGER TRIGGER F_ING TRIGGER!!!!!!!!
GOTTA GO FAKWE WORK NOW!!!!!!!
F_ING F_ING
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!
Posted by rskontos on October 8, 2007, at 12:53:04
In reply to Re: How's it going B2?, posted by B2chica on October 8, 2007, at 11:30:50
B2c which one is talking now. YOu are not a freak because if you are so am I. I think this is angry one talking now. That is ok we can talk to angry one too. Yes we are damaged but we are trying to heal ourselves and live in some kind of harmony. That is my new way to look at it--harmony.
Sorry I went away for a minute, I made lunch for my kids. They are old enough to make their own but sometimes even at 19 and 14 they want mommy.
Seems like in my absence something has gone awry. Are you ok B2c. Let me know.........Don't hate yourself just shut it down. Be ok .....hang in there.
Posted by sunnydays on October 8, 2007, at 13:39:48
In reply to Re: How's it going B2?, posted by B2chica on October 8, 2007, at 11:30:50
Hi there, teen B2. Can you say more about why you are angry? I don't want you to hurt yourself, so try to find safe ways to let all that anger out as best you can.
sunnydays
Posted by B2chica on October 8, 2007, at 14:21:19
In reply to Re: How's it going B2?, posted by rskontos on October 8, 2007, at 12:53:04
im not even sure how to respond.
i'm embarrassed. i'm sorry to muffled and RK.
i wish i could delete posts.i'm suprised it's coming out so much in my writing these days.
i felt things building as i wrote and then it's like i see someone else typing but i feel these emotions and then its posted. i can't take it back.so i did what i do best....left...
this is very unsettling for me as i am usually able to maintain my writing. written has always been easier to control.
i'm worried that T thinking it's ok for this emotion/part/teen to come out is not such a good idea. does she even know what she's doing?
since i posted i've had to keep my headphones on and music blaring so that i can calm down. i'll probably have to take another xanax today if i don't chill.i'm really not that...stable...myself...whatever, well since last week.
it seems that im easily triggered lately. so im thinking i need to not read posts until after i see T tomorrow.
-though knowing me i'll probably lurk, i just can't stay away. dang it all.
but i'm just not sure i should read too much or post.thnx for the support. i wish i could be more supportive these days.
Posted by B2chica on October 8, 2007, at 14:21:59
In reply to Re: How's it going B2? » B2chica, posted by sunnydays on October 8, 2007, at 13:39:48
Posted by happyflower on October 8, 2007, at 15:03:44
In reply to U R very kind SD...thnk you (nm) » sunnydays, posted by B2chica on October 8, 2007, at 14:21:59
It must feel very frusterating for this to be happening to you, I have no idea what this feels like, but I imagine it would feel very scary. I wish there was something I could do to help, it is hard to see someone I care about in so much pain and not be able to do anything. And yes I do care about you. I have known you for a long time on these boards and you have always been very helpful to me. I hope your T knows what to do, I am sure they do. Keep in touch, and don't worry about what you post, I think babble understands, so you are okay. (((((B2))))
Posted by muffled on October 8, 2007, at 22:13:40
In reply to Re: sorry response, posted by B2chica on October 8, 2007, at 14:21:19
Maybe my response is all wrong.....
But DAMN all I could do was smile to see teen! I am SO happy she can talk too!
I used to do that lots, flip out on babble and run, but i don't do it so much now.
I think its fine for her to express her anger in writing, as long as she is also able to calm herself down.
Damn, I keep smiling. I LOVE to meet her!
Sorry she hurting, but happy she can find her 'voice'.
If she can learn to manage her anger, then she can proly come out more and it'd be OK!
Manoman, I understand rage....
So maybe I am saying wrong things, but this is my honest response. Right or wrong.You need to remember, teen is not stupid, she is angry, but OK. I think she did good in that post with editing swears and stuff. Good for her!
B2, I know its all freaky and scarey, but it'll be OK. Your people are just regular people, not crazy nutheads. They got strong emotions, and thats scarey, but you gotta remember they been carrying this anger etc for a long time, so of course their emots are strong. I have a feeling that teen will be a GREAT ally for you in the times ahead. She is smart, and she is strong.
I think possibly a good idea would be working on 'the basics' of coping, self soothing, managing strong emotions etc. You may have done this before, but its ENTIRELY possible that teen DID NOT HEAR that stuff, and therefore DOESN'T know what to do with her strong emotions. See thats a prob I had. I THOT I knew and had learned so much coping stuff, but others within hadn't heard or mebbe understood it, so we had to go thru it again.
Also, when dealing with teen, she IS a teen, and you need to keep that in mind when dealing with her. Teens tend to have difficult emotions at the best of times....
I have a strong and good feeling bout that teen of yours....
So, parts comming rounf IMHO is OK, but they need to learn coping skills too.
In my experience, it was a little chaotic at times, but once there was more understanding and acceptance and TRUST in my people, things got ALOT better.
When I am stressed, its much worse. If I am calmer, its better.
So try not to worry too much bout alla this if you can.
Try and trust and accept alla you as best you can.
Tell teen, if she not into hugs, then I'll just give her a friendly F/U croney shove. LOL, mebbe my toughie and your teen, we can have a smoke together one time.
Not gonna fool ya B2, mebbe it gonna be hard :-(, but it does get easier eventually, and its worth it.
M
Posted by rskontos on October 8, 2007, at 22:23:28
In reply to (((((B2))))))))))))), posted by happyflower on October 8, 2007, at 15:03:44
B2c, I figured it was someone else, it is teen as muffled said. It is ok, I just didn't want you to get hurt. But muffled is probably right she is just angry and trying to protect you. Probably my angry one would sound the same way. The one that came out at the game sat. The one that was going to confront the annoying fan I couldn't handle anymore. I kept telling my H I couldn't handle this anymore. He didn't take the hint but she sure did and took over. So I am sure she sounded just like your teen posted. So dont worry and don't be upset for anything and you don't owe me any apology. I am just glad you are ok. I can handle talking to her anytime. rk
Who knows when you will be talking to mine online!!!
Posted by B2chica on October 9, 2007, at 8:03:09
In reply to Re: sorry response, posted by muffled on October 8, 2007, at 22:13:40
awww. thank you muffled.
see, i knew i couldn't stay away. but i had to post. i'm feeling pretty good this morning. and you wanting to see teen, makes me feel good. it makes me feel less scared and less unsettled.
to know what i say and you not even blink about it, makes me feel...like maybe a little part of me belongs someplace.and wow, i never thought of that. i know that T has said stuff like that before, about how she told little one to only come during session and how maybe she needed to say that to teen too...i just kept thinking, well 'I' heard it so i'm sure she did too. but it's weird cuz i think it REALLY does make a difference.
and i think that's a good idea to work on management.>>Tell teen, if she not into hugs, then I'll just give her a friendly F/U croney shove. LOL, mebbe my toughie and your teen, we can have a smoke together one time.
you have no idea how much she's smiling inside...YOU GET IT MUFFLED GIRL!
Posted by B2chica on October 9, 2007, at 8:03:24
In reply to Re: (((((B2))))))))))))), posted by rskontos on October 8, 2007, at 22:23:28
RK....thank you for the hugs. and as i read about your 'game' incident...i was almost jealous that you could let out some of your rage. but im also sorry.
i'm sorry you understand all this...but i'm so very happy inside that there are people that i can actually talk to about all this.
thank you for understanding.
hugs back ((((RK)))))
Posted by muffled on October 9, 2007, at 15:33:07
In reply to Re: sorry response » muffled, posted by B2chica on October 9, 2007, at 8:03:09
> but it's weird cuz i think it REALLY does make a difference.
*Thanks B2 for your nice reply, you a sweetie!
I just cut out that one bit from your post, cuz i am in scientist mode. If you have a way of being that is impartial and very into being scientific, the USE IT! Its very useful.
The thing that was SO hard for me to 'get' bout my people, was that they people. They INDIVIDUALS.Everybodys experience is their own of course, but this was just SUCH a big part of my being able to understand whats going on inside.
Its SO WEIRD, and SO HARD to grasp this concept. I still struggle with it. But when I am understanding it better, then I understand what the other guys might be doing/feeling etc. Therefore I better understand why *I* 'feel' the way I do. All those strange feelings become MUCH less strange, and then I can start to actually DEAL with the feelings. Before I could NOT deal with feelings cuz they had NO frikkin rhyme or reason. How can you deal with something that makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER????
So for me to be able to be in am mode where I can impartially observe what might be happening internally, then its useful for me.
I dunno if this makes ANY sense, but I just trying to help you understand what was most useful for me, so mebbe you can progress and get thru this a little easier.
Funny thing what got me thinking of all this was that now my people seem to know bout each other, I think the beggars are doing stuff I don't know bout! Not IRL, but inside. LOL! Like I am starting to think THEY are BONDING w/each other some?!?! Is that COOL or WHAT?????
I think mebbe Toughie is backing up That kid that noone likes...
She was always pretty much rejected completely by ALL. But kids....they fickle...LOL. So now they ganging together against T at the moment!!!
And this is where the impartial me gets so amused/fascinated, cuz how can this all be???? And the kids ACT LIKE KIDS, it just never ceases to astonish me, no matter how many times it happens.
Ya, an impartial back seat to all this is pretty damn useful.
I hope you can find a part like that...
Yup, damn useful.
Reckon being a MOm is useful too. Being around kids, know how they behave...
But scientist is good, not emotions.
UGH GOTO keep emots at bay
Arrgggh see B2, somebodyy wants to do stuff but I say NO.
I wiggle my head, I kinda shake it, make 'em go back.
Sigh.
Hope this is OK.
Take care,
M
Posted by B2chica on October 10, 2007, at 8:39:15
In reply to Re: sorry response » B2chica, posted by muffled on October 9, 2007, at 15:33:07
mffled, just to let you knw i read response above...thank you. i do have a 'scientific part but part of that problem is i analylze things to death! and still don't believe things cuz its (as spock would say) it's not logical. so sometimes it works, not others....go figure.
That is Great if they're bonding.and i admire how you can say NO and they listen. sometimes it works other times no. maybe soon i can figure this out.
Maybe once i stop denying this dx i can work harder.
thnx M'
b2
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