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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by slugdoo on August 10, 2007, at 19:17:47
Okay, I feel hurt, okay, I feel angry, but what I can't understand how ANYONE could tell ANYONE to their face that if you died, they would not come to your funeral. Well maybe if you hated them or something, but why talk to them anyways if you did?
But for a T to say that is just plain sh*tty and uncalled for. NO EXCUSE for that insensitive comment. What the heck is wrong with him? Okay, he can't go to every clients funeral or would want to, but to tell their client that? What a total *ss!I have tried to rationalize this, and all I come up with is my T was being a cold hearted robot and I am better off without him!
Posted by Tamar on August 10, 2007, at 20:32:20
In reply to I think my T was a total *ss that last day, posted by slugdoo on August 10, 2007, at 19:17:47
> Okay, I feel hurt, okay, I feel angry, but what I can't understand how ANYONE could tell ANYONE to their face that if you died, they would not come to your funeral. Well maybe if you hated them or something, but why talk to them anyways if you did?
> But for a T to say that is just plain sh*tty and uncalled for. NO EXCUSE for that insensitive comment. What the heck is wrong with him? Okay, he can't go to every clients funeral or would want to, but to tell their client that? What a total *ss!
>
> I have tried to rationalize this, and all I come up with is my T was being a cold hearted robot and I am better off without him!I agree. His statement was extremely insensitive. In fact, it was so insensitive that I think it needs interpreting.
What's going on in your work together that he needs to build up his boundaries like this? What's he protecting himself from? Did he feel you were getting too close to him emotionally because of your EMDR?
Why can't he deal with your feelings? Doesn't he understand how important he is to you? Have you told him how much you care about him?
I wish I had answers for you, but my therapist is all Dr Boundaries whenever I want to feel close to him. I don't get it. I feel like I'm in a very similar place to you.
Sorry I can't be more help...
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 10, 2007, at 21:09:36
In reply to I think my T was a total *ss that last day, posted by slugdoo on August 10, 2007, at 19:17:47
Sorry you're hurting 'Doo. Has he tried to call you? Because that's what he should do even if you won't be back. He's a jerk for letting this go like this.
Posted by slugdoo on August 11, 2007, at 4:45:57
In reply to Re: I think my T was a total *ss that last day » slugdoo, posted by Tamar on August 10, 2007, at 20:32:20
> I agree. His statement was extremely insensitive. In fact, it was so insensitive that I think it needs interpreting.Thanks for the validation. ;-)
> What's going on in your work together that he needs to build up his boundaries like this?Could be many things, maybe it was because I told him he is more to me than just my therpist. Could be I told him I worry about telling him my "sh*t" inside because I don't want to put all that on him. Could be because of my reaction during EMDR, where he could see for himself that I wasn't okay, like he believed so much. He said it was an oversight. Why? Because I believe he lost his objectivity when it came to me. So I am guessing the last one mostly with the other stuff contributing.
What's he protecting himself from?
Maybe caring about and liking me more than he feels is appropropiate in the theraputic relationship.Did he feel you were getting too close to him emotionally because of your EMDR?
We didn't didn't actually get to the emdr since my reaction when we used it for my stage fright. We were going to on that dreadful day. I was really nervous about that.
>
> Why can't he deal with your feelings? Doesn't he understand how important he is to you? Have you told him how much you care about him?Yes, he knows I care about him, I have told him and showed him many times. I believe he knew how important he was, and he knew I was becoming too important to him, and it freaked him out because he couldn't control his feelings. He said once, every time I see or hear a trumpet, I think of you, and I don't know why. (what? if it a shock to him that he might actually think about me out of sessions?)
>
> I wish I had answers for you, but my therapist is all Dr Boundaries whenever I want to feel close to him. I don't get it. I feel like I'm in a very similar place to you.
>
> Sorry I can't be more help...
>
You helped me especially with the first question. Why did he have to put those big boundries in place? Well because he messed up, thats why. But that didn't work well considering how loose those boundries were, it actually backfired.
>
Posted by slugdoo on August 11, 2007, at 4:49:45
In reply to Re: I think my T was a total *ss that last day » slugdoo, posted by TherapyGirl on August 10, 2007, at 21:09:36
> Sorry you're hurting 'Doo. Has he tried to call you? Because that's what he should do even if you won't be back. He's a jerk for letting this go like this.
Thanks for your support TG, it is so hard.
He hasn't called, I wish he would have just so we could clear the air before we run into each other again at the gym.
I think he is still angry, and why? because he eally did screw up and he really did care and it got to him, and he doesn't want to admit it to himself. Do you think he can tell me he didn't think about me out of session when I fired him? He doesn't fool me.
Posted by Dinah on August 11, 2007, at 9:23:50
In reply to I think my T was a total *ss that last day, posted by slugdoo on August 10, 2007, at 19:17:47
He was.
I'm glad you are able to keep in mind all the times he wasn't, though. Not for his sake, certainly, but so that you don't lose all of what he did give you because of what he said.
I think you're doing well with that.
Posted by slugdoo on August 11, 2007, at 13:25:02
In reply to Re: I think my T was a total *ss that last day » slugdoo, posted by Dinah on August 11, 2007, at 9:23:50
Thanks Dinah,
I needed to hear that. It is so hard to be upset and hurt by somebody you care about.
This is the end of the thread.
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