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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by JoniS on April 9, 2007, at 21:29:10
Anyone feel this way? My T has helped me tremendously over the last 3 and a half years, but I don't believe I'm gonna grow any more in this relationship. I love my T and so at times like today when I emailed him about my blues and fighting depression his only reply was "sorry about the depression. call me if you want to I'll be happy to talk" I was thoroughly let down. I'm always free to call him, but today I just asked for an encouraging word in a reply email and he didn't. He has emailed me in the past just to say hello, have a good week or something, so email is within his communication boundary.
I think I want to quit because I am tired of loving him. I'm ok with the fact it is a therapy love, but even still, sometimes I feel his care, but many times I feel he is distanced.He sees me as being "fused" to my husband (and therfore probably in all my relationships) as opposed to differentiated. I sometimes get tired of feeling like I'm chapter so and so in the journal of psycho-babble blah blah.
someone tell me how you went from loving your T to being ready to say good bye to your T.
sorry so long, thanks for your attention :)
Posted by Dinah on April 10, 2007, at 9:09:16
In reply to Want to Quit cause it seems 'as good as it gets', posted by JoniS on April 9, 2007, at 21:29:10
Last week I would have sort of been there myself. I think when you can have the therapy conversations in your head, and feel sort of bored in sessions, and can think of better ways to spend your time and money, it might be time to assess where you are and if you're staying just because you care about your therapist.
Or that's what I tell myself anyway.
Then I got all panicked at the thought of losing him so I figure I'm not quite there yet.
I think in some ways there does come a time when it's as good as it's going to get. At least at any given moment. Added stressors might mean a tune up is in order. But I doubt anyone ever becomes *all* better.
But...
I also think that for some people (not necessarily you), it helps with daily functioning to have the place to go and release energy before it builds up and explodes and therapy can be maintenance oriented to that goal.
On the other hand, you sound sort of angry with him for his response. Did you start feeling like it was time to leave after he didn't respond well to your email?
Posted by JoniS on April 10, 2007, at 9:45:34
In reply to Re: Want to Quit cause it seems 'as good as it get » JoniS, posted by Dinah on April 10, 2007, at 9:09:16
Thanks so much for your response Dinah. It helps to know what others in similar situations are/heve been going through, and your insights on my situation.
I was irritated with him about the email.I think that's because to me he seems like one day he wants to be totally supportive and encouraging when I need it, and other times he seems like he wants me to do it on my own. Just 2 weeks ago he surprised me with an email (he never does that) to ask how I was doing. But yet with my email this week to say I'm not so good, fighting depression, he doesn't want to respond.
I have been thinking about quitting for a while. I really question whether I will get beyond where I am with my extremely low self esteem and fears when I interact with people I believe are better than I am.
My counseling is at no cost to me at all, it's a service of the church my husband used to pastor.
I am very attached to my therapist and sometimes I think that is the only reason I continue. I don't know.
Posted by antigua on April 10, 2007, at 10:30:00
In reply to Re: Want to Quit cause it seems 'as good as it get, posted by JoniS on April 10, 2007, at 9:45:34
Just wanted to say that I've been there, time and time again. (16 years of it almost!) What I've discovered is that when I feel like this, it often means that I'm holding back on something or we are venturing into territory that I am in denial about or afraid to confront.
Actually, I'm going through it right now, although I know I'm on the way to termination. Even though I know this, there is at least one unresolved issue that we've been skirting: my relationship with my mother and how it reflects my relationship with my T. I've been the most stubborn about confronting this with her, and she knows and respects that, but she has a good way of reeling me back in.I've cut back to once every two weeks, and tomorrow I'm determined to go in and confront the hard stuff instead of focusing on my day to day life. She has taught me so well to deal with my regular life, and that's what is leading me toward termination, but I know I'm fighting it.
Just my opinion and wanted to let you know that I constantly ask myself if this is the best it's going to get, and if it is, I'm o.k. with it. I just know that each time these feelings surface, I'm stronger, and I trust my T and I to reach the decision together on when I'm fully ready to quit.
best to you,
antigua
Posted by JoniS on April 10, 2007, at 15:19:44
In reply to Re: Want to Quit cause it seems 'as good as it get » JoniS, posted by antigua on April 10, 2007, at 10:30:00
Antigua,
Thanks so much for your post. I am doing some thinking about whether that could be going on with me, am I denying something... Dont know but I'll continue to ponder that. I really appreciate you sharing your experience with me.
Joni
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