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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by scentedgarden on February 22, 2007, at 12:49:54
Anyone who knows my posts over the last year knows my story... anyway things have gotten worse..! She (my t) has slammed all doors shut in my face... I have discussed it with one of my lawyers, and I may be about to raise a huge civil court action against her for professional mis management of my termination... gross mis conduct...resulting in hurt and damaging me emotionally...I was so vulnerable with her, and she has cut me off abruptly...and dropped me like a hot potatoe.. its a long boring story...and not one that im pleased to tell!!!
i wasnt sexually abused or anything like that..but boundaries may well ahve been crossed on her part... then when she decided to suddenly reinstate those boundaries , i was left high and dry... now things have gotten out of hand..!((Im so sad , AS IM HURT SO BADLY BY THE PERSON WHO HELPED ME SO MUCH... I dont want to raise a court action against her, but it feels as though she is leaving me no choice! As i will not roll over and let her hurt me this much and let her away with it..! )))She has made her choice to blank me now, and turn her back on me...so in some ways she has chosen my next move, as i'M NOT THE TYPE TO LET HER DO IT AND NOT STAND UP TO HER... If forces into a corner i will not lay down..i will come out fighting... and she will get a lot of hurt in return...as nobody gets to become closer to me than anyone in my entire life ..and then drop me suddenly and get a way with it... I hate myself for thinking anf feeling this way..but her actions against me have left me little choice..
I spoke to my lawyer today, and he said i should have a case...we will discuss it further on Monday...I cnt eat, and im extremely distraught... She was so good to me, and then expected to drop me and I'd say nothing..! How could she think that is okay? How could she hurt me so much AND not seem to care..! refuses to call...when she always used to call..!! telling her secretary im not allowed to call ..yet the letters i get fro her say if there's any problem, call me at this number...then i call the number and im told im not allowed to call there anymore...
I'm sorry this has happened and i honestly cant believe it... that i have actually discussed taking this psychologist to civil court for hurt and damages emotionally to my mental and emotional well being.. i dont care about money..i just dont want her to get away with this --- if she wasnt prepared to call me now, she should never have started calling in the first place..!***I'm mixed up, as i love her on one hand...and hate ghe hurt inside me she is producing on the other hand..i cry and cry... with nothing else but this mainly on my mind..i know thats bad, but thats just whats happened, and i cannot believe it has almost come to this..all because she stopped all contact with me directly between sessions... and expected me to agree..! ****i dont care even if i win the case i just want to cause her some hurt as she has dished out to me...i have told her over and over that she is hurting me since last appt , and ive been ignored..i feel like the woman in the movie 'fatal attraction' who says to michael douglas.,." I won't be ignored Dan" !!!!!!! thats scary to me as im a reasonable person...so my advice to anyone in love with their therapist...stop it now...drop the fantasy, and dont get yourself too involved...i dont mean sexually or physically , but in your mind...!! and in your emotions..remember they are just at their work...doing a job, you are not their world, you dont even come close!!...**i've fecked up ...plz save yourself lots of heartache and keep it strctly professional, if you possibly can...as fantasy can become a nightmare...as you can see it has become for me..***I love this woman, but its all fecked up now...!(((anyone got any similar experiences???
anyone got anything to say??))))Hope to hear from you soon....*sg*
Posted by one woman cine on February 22, 2007, at 14:20:41
In reply to Anyone here made Legal Complaint Re T. I'm bout to, posted by scentedgarden on February 22, 2007, at 12:49:54
I thought you two were planning termination? Did she terminate you suddenly? I'm sorry of she did -
I wouldn't rush into a civil suit until I consulted the ethics board of wherever she practices. They would have a better idea of proper therapeutic practice than a lawyer.
Otherwise, you could just end up paying a whole lot of money for a lawyer and nothing will come of it.
Sorry you're so distressed.
Posted by mair on February 22, 2007, at 16:10:29
In reply to Anyone here made Legal Complaint Re T. I'm bout to, posted by scentedgarden on February 22, 2007, at 12:49:54
Your situation sounds awful and I understand the impulse to seek legal recourse but I agree with owc. Go first to whatever state board handles professional licensing. Even if you find an attorney who will take the case on some sort of contingent fee, lawsuits can be horribly draining and they have a way of dragging on interminably. And there would be an expense involved because you'd probably have to hire an expert witness (another T) who could testify that she breached the standard of care and that those breaches caused you harm. Both elements are important. I don't know where you live, but in lots of places it's difficult to find Ts willing to testify against other Ts. It's not just a matter of Ts wanting to take care of their own, it can just be an aversion to being involved with the legal system.
If you go to her licensing board, it doesn't foreclose you from bringing a lawsuit later on. And your case will be looked at by people who have some real background in this area and who are there, as arbiters, as a matter of choice. I hate to say this, but I think the reality is that once she's placed in a defensive posture, your ex-T is going to care much more about how other professionals view her actions than she is going to care about how her actions may have affected you. In an investigation by a state licensing board, the focus is far more intently on her actions, rather than your response. I think that will actually make things tougher for her and I think you'll get some resolution far more quickly.
mair
Posted by wishingstar on February 22, 2007, at 17:28:09
In reply to Anyone here made Legal Complaint Re T. I'm bout to, posted by scentedgarden on February 22, 2007, at 12:49:54
Hi scentedgarden,
I agree completely with what the other two posters said so far. I was in a situation about six months ago where my ex-T terminated me unexpectadly and refused to even speak to me herself to give me the news... rather, she sent the message through another therapist who was leading group therapy in the day program I was in at the time and had him tell me. There was no final session, no closure.. she didnt respond to phone calls or letters, etc. I do know how you feel to some extent. It was very, very painful for me at the time. I was devestated. And to be honest, it still does hurt sometimes, but NOTHING like it used to. I never reported her to anyone, but I did consider it for a time.
I guess my advice to you would be as the others said - definitely go to the licensing board first. If you dont get the response you want, you can always follow it up with a lawsuit later, but the licensing board is really the place to start. If they believe her behavior was inappropriate, they can issue all kinds of sanctions, ranging from required supervision all the way to removing someones license.
I'd also urge you to wait a few more weeks. I know (trust me, I really do) that you feel like you want to do it NOW. The pain is just so great and you probably feel like you just MUST do something. It's so unfair, so uncaring, so hurtful, and if youre anything like I was, probably on your mind all the time. How is it fair that she gets to just let go while youre left feeling so terrible about this? I know. It's not fair at all. But the reason I urge you to wait a few weeks is just to give yourself a little more emotional distance from it. That way you'll probably be able to present your case with as much effectiveness as possible. A lawsuit would be very stressful and likely bring up a lot of feelings for you in addition to those you are already feeling, so giving it a few more weeks or so until you feel a little more ready for that might be an idea.
For me, I did consider reporting her, but ultimately, as time went on, decided not to. I still think my ex-T was terrible and deserved to be in trouble for what she did. I havent changed my mind on that one bit. However, over time I guess I've decided that she just isnt worth it. Yes, it still hurts and yes, some part of me still misses her in an odd way. But I'm not going to let that woman control my life or my feelings any more. If I complained I know that I'd end up having to face her again, or at least have some indirect dealings with her, and I know that would be painful. I'd still be hoping for some comforting or reassurance from her on some level, but I know now that it will never happen. So it's just safer for me to leave it alone. If reporting your T is the right answer, I'm not trying to talk you out of it. Just trying to share my experience for something to think about, I guess.
Good luck. I know it hurts, and feels like it'll never get better, but take it from me... it will. I never thought it would either, but it has gotten easier. You'll be okay.,
Posted by scentedgarden on February 22, 2007, at 17:35:21
In reply to Re: Anyone here made Legal Complaint Re T. I'm bout to, posted by wishingstar on February 22, 2007, at 17:28:09
I've babble mailed you ( all those who have replied and I trust)... as I'm scared to post too much info...you know what they say...'just cos you're paranoid, doesnt mean they aren't after you' >>>thanks for your help *** sg
Posted by metalflipflop on March 3, 2007, at 17:47:24
In reply to Re: Anyone here made Legal Complaint Re T. I'm bout to, posted by scentedgarden on February 22, 2007, at 17:35:21
SG,
First let me say I am sorry for your pain in this situation--you did not deserve to have this happen at all. It is a sad fact that there a lot of bad therapists out there, as with any profession of course, but to these people we trust our everything. I myself was on track for my clinical PhD, so I have been on both sides, and as it applies to me too I feel I can say that a lot of people are driven to mental health practice b/c of their own emotional issues!
I am writing b/c your post struck a chord with me, as just two weeks ago I actually submitted a formal complaint against my previous therapist to the state licensing board. It's a long, drawn-out story, but suffice it to say that the crux of my grievance was also a very messed-up, damaging termination, as well as what I believe to be the violation of my confidentiality. I saw this therapist for nearly three years, and like it sounds with you, I loved her and trusted her more than I ever thought I could with anyone.
The events in question occurred about 6 months ago, and during this time I have been talking a lot about it with my current therapist. Filing a complaint was the end for me, as I tried every possible way to get her to acknowledge me, my suffering, and my very justified anger. All these months later though, I am still so wrecked, and so bringing the issue to the state board has been my attempt at truly healing and moving on, getting some resolution and, hopefully, peace. My current therapist, knowing the situation intimately and how hard I have worked to move on in other ways, is supporting me in this.
I just have wanted it to be out of my hands, to give some of this pain to someone with a lot of experience handling these issues to decide it. Like you, I don't care about money in this, I want to be able to sleep at night knowing that my former therapist will hopefully have even 1/10th of the anguish and fear I have experienced. I want her to have to acknowledge that she did some terrible, harsh things to someone very vulnerable and trusting.
As far as the process, my complaint has passed the first round of being deemed worthy to investigate. I have been assigned an investigator (found this out through mail) who is supposed to be contacting me soon for more details. I was a little nervous about the fact that to lodge the complaint I had to sign that it was okay for the state to know any details of my treatment, but I honestly believe that it is so vitally important for me to stand up for myself. I feel slightly better even having taken this action, regardless of the outcome, b/c it feels proactive and like I am not allowing myself to be a victim. I'm not sure what will happen from here, but if anyone is interested I am happy to give updates. It's not a situation I would wish on anyone, the way I've been treated, but hopefully this proceeding will give me closure and some hope that recourse is available, even in matters of the heart.
Take care, and don't undertake it lightly but also remember that these boards are there for a reason, and they want to help and take appropriate disciplinary action. I've never been of huge faith in the government and its agencies, but I am glad that I have reached out in this way.
This is the end of the thread.
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