![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by susan47 on April 1, 2006, at 11:27:24
First name, Dr. _________, or nothing?
I remember calling mine simply, nothing.
Then Dr. ___________.
Then nothing, I never tried his first name, at all, unless it was in the form of a message on his machine (mine, actually, it felt like it became mine... ouchy, ouch ouch) ... and in writing, too, I had the nerve to call him his first name. But I always thought he never would have encouraged that, it was a no-no, in his world, to do that .. keep the patient at the proper distance, this was very important to him. Extremely so. Mixing it with the right amount of shown compassion was tough, I think.
So how many t's out there are over themselves enough, to be real with their people? Just wondering.. please respond if you have a T, and an opinion about this. What's your opinion, and your experience???
Posted by antigua on April 1, 2006, at 11:53:33
In reply to What do you call your T?, posted by susan47 on April 1, 2006, at 11:27:24
I've always called her by her first name. But I call my pdoc Dr. X
antigua
Posted by milly on April 1, 2006, at 12:10:40
In reply to What do you call your T?, posted by susan47 on April 1, 2006, at 11:27:24
That was a really big issue for me at the beginning. How could someone who knew me so intimately be DR ........ (surname) but equally how could I be so presumtive as to use his first name.
I actually don't use his name to him at all but get great joy putting his first name in my diary.
I make hubby refer to him as DR........ (surname) because he is mine and if anyone is going to use his first name it is me!
I never thought of DR ......(first name)that would have been a halfhouse I suppose.
milly
Posted by Racer on April 1, 2006, at 12:49:00
In reply to Re: What do you call your T? » susan47, posted by milly on April 1, 2006, at 12:10:40
I asked my T about that, early on, whether she would prefer to be addressed as Dr Surname or FirstName, and she said FirstName. So, that's what I use. I did tell her, though, that it was a big deal to me, because I do have that whole authority thing going on. I told her, though, that I would abide by her preferences, as a sign of respect for her. If she wanted her achievement, of that PhD, acknowledged by being Dr Surname, I would certainly call her that.
Of course, my T is pretty brilliant... (Yeah, OK. I don't know that this is or isn't transference, but I do know that she should be bottled -- she could cure the whole world...)
(OK, I realize that sounds a little extreme. OK, extremely extreme. :^0 There are things I disagree with my T about, and some of them I tell her, too. Mostly, where we disagree, I recognize that I have some bias, and she has 23 years of experience treating eating disorders, so she probably knows something I don't. But while I don't think she's perfect, I do think she's the perfect T for me right now. I better tell her to drive carefully...)
Posted by Veracity on April 1, 2006, at 14:00:43
In reply to What do you call your T?, posted by susan47 on April 1, 2006, at 11:27:24
Always first name, and if I recall correctly, she stated that I could call her "firstname" when she introduced herself at our first session.
Which was good, because she has a really, REALLY long last name!
Posted by Poet on April 1, 2006, at 14:17:58
In reply to What do you call your T?, posted by susan47 on April 1, 2006, at 11:27:24
Hi Susan,
I've always called my T by her first name- she isn't a PhD or MD, so that made it easier.
Poet
Posted by rubenstein on April 1, 2006, at 14:32:37
In reply to What do you call your T?, posted by susan47 on April 1, 2006, at 11:27:24
My T has a PHD but he has always preferred that I call him Paul as does everyone in the center. Of course I am in college so maybe that has something to do with it.
Rachel
Posted by happyflower on April 1, 2006, at 15:00:48
In reply to Re: What do you call your T?, posted by rubenstein on April 1, 2006, at 14:32:37
I have to admit, I have called him a lot of things! LOL Like BIG JERK! LOL
I have for a long time called him Dr. lastname, but but a few months he told me it was okay to call him Dave. Which I have sometimes, and now it is more comfortable to do this. It is strange because most people call him David, but he said to call him Dave, like his family and friends do. But I like David better, thoughor Davey, (like Carley Simons song) LOL Now I just call him sexy Dave with those gorgous legs! LOL
I was thinking about planting a daylilly in honor of him, the varitey is called "Streaker" LOL I can't tell you that story! LOL
I am still trying to find a varity called blush or something like that! LOL Yes, I am crazy again, just in case ya want to know. Those damn sexy blue eyes of him make me weak in the knees, sorry.
Posted by annierose on April 1, 2006, at 15:08:41
In reply to Re: What do you call your T?, posted by happyflower on April 1, 2006, at 15:00:48
I don't call her anything. I've never had a reason to address her in person.
When I write her a note, I'll address her as Dr. lastname. When she leaves me a message, or calls me, she'll say, "Hi Annie, this is Dr. Lastname."
So I figure this is how she would like to be addressed.
I remember a few weeks ago during a session, I said something just like she would have, and then I commented, "That sounds like a (firstname) expression." She just laughed.
Posted by LadyBug on April 1, 2006, at 15:58:06
In reply to What do you call your T?, posted by susan47 on April 1, 2006, at 11:27:24
I call her by her first name and I always have. No issue here. I think once I called her "hon" and I'm sure to have called her "dear" a time or two. I've told her she's a sweetheart too.
LadyBug
Posted by madeline on April 1, 2006, at 17:04:16
In reply to Re: What do you call your T?, posted by LadyBug on April 1, 2006, at 15:58:06
I call mine Dr. XXXX. He is an MD. I've always called him that, but it has come to me to be almost be one word.
I also have my Ph.D. and while he usually calls my XXXXX, he will refer to me as Dr. XXXXX too. It's nice to hear him call me Dr.
Posted by Gee on April 1, 2006, at 18:04:23
In reply to Re: What do you call your T?, posted by madeline on April 1, 2006, at 17:04:16
When I met my first t she sat down and was like Hi, I'm _______. And same with the second one. Though, I can't say I've ever called my second one anything
Posted by frida on April 1, 2006, at 22:22:17
In reply to Re: What do you call your T?, posted by Gee on April 1, 2006, at 18:04:23
Hi,
I call my T by her first name. Sometimes I find it hard to call her by her name when I see her, but she wants that, and when I write to her I call her by her first name. Never by her surname, or Dr. On the phone I also use her first name.frida
Posted by fairywings on April 1, 2006, at 23:57:16
In reply to Re: What do you call your T? » Gee, posted by frida on April 1, 2006, at 22:22:17
What a bunch of funny names....Dr. X, Dr. XXXX, Dr. Lastname, Dr. Surname......I wonder if some of them are related! Happyflower and her Dr. Hotlegs.
Sorry....I couldn't help it, this thread tickled me when I started reading it....thanks susan! ; )I asked my last T.....isn't it weird when it doesn't come up... what in the heck you're supposed to call them. (where is that doggone manual anyway?!) Anyway, he said bec. I had "self-esteem problems" I could call him sweetie pie or Dr. Sweetie pie.......just kidding he said I could call him by his first name......Bozo. My T I have now it's never come up, but he just goes by his first name, so that's what I've called him....I don't use it often though.
As for my pdoc....I almost fell off my chair last week when I heard someone call him by his first name. It never entered my mind to call him by his first name, and I won't. Although I do like the idea of calling him Dr. X....or Dr. Who, or Dr. Know.
fw
Posted by susan47 on April 2, 2006, at 17:00:28
In reply to Re: What do you call your T? » susan47, posted by Poet on April 1, 2006, at 14:17:58
Yes, I wonder what it takes to be a therapist .. I think I'm going to be one ... my first therapy is on myself ...
Posted by susan47 on April 2, 2006, at 17:04:33
In reply to Re: What do you call your T?, posted by rubenstein on April 1, 2006, at 14:32:37
> My T has a PHD but he has always preferred that I call him Paul as does everyone in the center. Of course I am in college so maybe that has something to do with it.
>
> RachelI think I understand what you're saying .. I could be wrong, though .. are you saying that he sees you more as an equal because you're getting a college education, which is what he has ... because if that's what it is, I can understand it but it would be really really sad, you know, if that were the case because he could be that available, that open and loving, to a lot more people .. I'm not talking about the name thing so much right now as I am about people putting up barriers because of a perceived class distinction ... this is something I'm very very sensitive to, having had the bottom portion of that rope for many many years ...
Posted by susan47 on April 2, 2006, at 17:13:57
In reply to Re: What do you call your T?, posted by happyflower on April 1, 2006, at 15:00:48
> I have to admit, I have called him a lot of things! LOL Like BIG JERK! LOL
> I have for a long time called him Dr. lastname, but but a few months he told me it was okay to call him Dave. Which I have sometimes, and now it is more comfortable to do this. It is strange because most people call him David, but he said to call him Dave, like his family and friends do. But I like David better, thoughor Davey, (like Carley Simons song) LOL Now I just call him sexy Dave with those gorgous legs! LOL
> I was thinking about planting a daylilly in honor of him, the varitey is called "Streaker" LOL I can't tell you that story! LOL
> I am still trying to find a varity called blush or something like that! LOL Yes, I am crazy again, just in case ya want to know. Those damn sexy blue eyes of him make me weak in the knees, sorry.I saw a pair of incredibly sexy blue eyes last night, they were on a teenage boy but man, I'll bet he has fabulous genes!!!! Blue, like mediterranean blue, with almost a silver light in them ...they were beautiful eyes .. and gorgeous eyes like that can be freaky, but I don't know why, it's almost like they're looking through you. What blue do your T's eyes have? There's, like, denim blue in about 100 different shades, there's ocean blue in all those shades, there's silver blue, what other kinds of blue eyes are there? .. what blue does he have?
Posted by fairywings on April 2, 2006, at 17:23:41
In reply to Re: What do you call your T? » happyflower, posted by susan47 on April 2, 2006, at 17:13:57
> > What blue do your T's eyes have? There's, like, denim blue in about 100 different shades, there's ocean blue in all those shades, there's silver blue, what other kinds of blue eyes are there? .. what blue does he have?
Never looked at my T's eyes close enough to notice the color! Will have to...maybe next time.....
fw
Posted by rubenstein on April 2, 2006, at 17:47:58
In reply to Re: What do you call your T? » rubenstein, posted by susan47 on April 2, 2006, at 17:04:33
I think he just prefers to be called Paul, and it is a college counseling center so I think everyone uses their first names in it.
I don't think it is a class thing at all
rachel
> > My T has a PHD but he has always preferred that I call him Paul as does everyone in the center. Of course I am in college so maybe that has something to do with it.
> >
> > Rachel
>
> I think I understand what you're saying .. I could be wrong, though .. are you saying that he sees you more as an equal because you're getting a college education, which is what he has ... because if that's what it is, I can understand it but it would be really really sad, you know, if that were the case because he could be that available, that open and loving, to a lot more people .. I'm not talking about the name thing so much right now as I am about people putting up barriers because of a perceived class distinction ... this is something I'm very very sensitive to, having had the bottom portion of that rope for many many years ...
Posted by Dinah on April 5, 2006, at 8:43:47
In reply to What do you call your T?, posted by susan47 on April 1, 2006, at 11:27:24
When I do use his name, he says he's learned that means that I'm about to say something very important. And when I do use his name, it's his first name.
It's funny, he just uses his first name on the phone.
But the infrequent times he's sent emails, he's signed his full name. Like I couldn't figure out who from that email address sent me the message with that content, and from his first name? Since I'm especially informal in email, and rarely sign my last name, it strikes me as both amusing and annoying.
Posted by susan47 on April 6, 2006, at 22:06:28
In reply to Re: What do you call your T?, posted by rubenstein on April 2, 2006, at 17:47:58
You're right, of course. I just have had a bad attitude, that's the truth. :)
Posted by shrinking violet on April 11, 2006, at 20:30:32
In reply to What do you call your T?, posted by susan47 on April 1, 2006, at 11:27:24
My previous (and first) T I called by her first name although I hardly ever used it in person, mostly in emails or letters or voice messages (she would use my name a lot in person while speaking to me which unnerved me for some reason).
My current T....I never asked her what I could call her, but I call her Dr. ____. Again though, I've never had occasion to address her by name while speaking to her; I refer to the Dr.____ in voicemails. When she returns one of my calls, she refers to herself as (first name)(last name) usually without the "Dr." When her aide leaves a message on my voicemail to confirm an appointment, she refers to her as (First name). I guess I could ask if I could call her by her first name, maybe she wouldnt mind, but for some reason I'm pretty comfortable withe formality of the Dr.(last name) even though I could never imagine addressing my former T as Ms. (last name) --- although once, while upset wiht her, I did do it to show I was angry and she thought it was kind of funny but told me to never do it again. ;-)
I guess it all depends on the T and client dynamic.....
> First name, Dr. _________, or nothing?
> I remember calling mine simply, nothing.
> Then Dr. ___________.
> Then nothing, I never tried his first name, at all, unless it was in the form of a message on his machine (mine, actually, it felt like it became mine... ouchy, ouch ouch) ... and in writing, too, I had the nerve to call him his first name. But I always thought he never would have encouraged that, it was a no-no, in his world, to do that .. keep the patient at the proper distance, this was very important to him. Extremely so. Mixing it with the right amount of shown compassion was tough, I think.
> So how many t's out there are over themselves enough, to be real with their people? Just wondering.. please respond if you have a T, and an opinion about this. What's your opinion, and your experience???
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.