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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 14:43:33
I have never understood how to stop beating myself up. Sometimes I'm better than others. At the moment I am depressive, in the midst of seemingly interminable dental apppointments and associated pain, still upset over my family members that should really be a carnival act, and angry that I let it all get to me to the point of having a drink.
The old partlycloudy of saying I'm a Loser is long gone. I'm just plain feeling very sorry for myself. I'm so sick and tired of having a headache that won't go away until my teeth are back in order, and I feel like every day I am pushing myself to get out of bed, much less feed myself and my husband.
Then I feel like I only post here when I am whining about one thing or another, and my therapist says - Of course you're feeling bad. It's OK - don't be so hard on yourself! So how do you ease up? Where is the slack cut?
Feeling very isolated and lonely. I'm going to the women's sobriety meeting tonight, but I don't want to take it over with my woes.
I would love to crawl under a rock and come out when the weather is about 15 degrees cooler.
partlycloudy, very stormy and unsettled.
Posted by pinkeye on July 25, 2005, at 15:12:33
In reply to T tells me to take it easy on myself, posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 14:43:33
I have been there. Repeatedly talking about helps. Our emotions don't respond to command like "Don't beat yourself up" or "Take it easy" etc.. It needs repeated (several hundred times atleast in my experience) walking through of the scenarios and visualizing a different outcome, and repeated control.
Posted by AuntieMel on July 25, 2005, at 15:33:22
In reply to T tells me to take it easy on myself, posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 14:43:33
But it's a lot easier said than done, isn't it.
But there's no harm in feeling sorry for yourself right now. You have *reasons* to feel sorry for yourself right now.
Constant pain is a good reason.
Whacko family members is one, but that should be intermittant. Like right now just after seeing them.
Just remember that neither of them is your fault. And wallow for a bit. It's good for you.
Posted by antigua on July 25, 2005, at 15:34:04
In reply to T tells me to take it easy on myself, posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 14:43:33
Aww partly cloudy, it may be hard for you to see how much progress you've made, but we can see it. I know how hard you struggle with the drinking because I do too, and have certainly faced the same situation more than once. I'm angry that I'm weak, but I just get back and start all over again. And it gets easier, more time passes, and even sometimes I don't take that drink.
If I told you I'd had the same problem, you wouldn't beat me up--you'd support me. It's a process, but it sure isn't easy.
It's hot as Hades here, too. I hate summer here.
best,
antigua
Posted by fallsfall on July 25, 2005, at 15:36:28
In reply to T tells me to take it easy on myself, posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 14:43:33
I highly recommend ice cream. Lots of it. It can numb the tooth pain, too. If the pain isn't too bad, then add hot fudge on top.
Some times we need to be good to ourselves. Some times things are just lousy. I would suggest swinging on swings at the park with long chains so they go really high, but if it is hot, you might not want to do that.
You deserve a bit of pampering. Go for it!
Posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 15:57:38
In reply to Re: T tells me to take it easy on myself » partlycloudy, posted by fallsfall on July 25, 2005, at 15:36:28
So many good suggestions! A bit of pampering goes a long way with me, especially since I try not to spend money since I'm not earning any (ouch! sounded like guilt there...); maybe getting a pedicure would be a good thing this week.
You know, I don't post on this board very often. I am really touched at how you all reach out when someone is hurting. It means a lot to me.
((((babblers))))
Posted by Poet on July 25, 2005, at 18:21:06
In reply to T tells me to take it easy on myself, posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 14:43:33
Hi PC,
I know that crawl under a rock feeling well. Though generally I use it to beat myself over the head with before I go under it.
My T is forever telling me I'm too hard on myself. Part of the problem is I see it as being honest. I am the only one who is honest with myself. Maybe you think it's honesty, too? I know, I know, if only we could see ourselves as others see us.
I hope you went to the meeting. What you have to say is important to you.
Have the pedicure and have your toenails painted something bright.
Poet
Posted by JenStar on July 25, 2005, at 19:44:10
In reply to T tells me to take it easy on myself, posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 14:43:33
hi PC,
I'm sorry you're at a rocky place right now! I don't know what taking it easy would mean, but maybe just to be gentle to yourself in your mind. You're a great person.I'm sorry you're having dental pain! Will the dental stuff be done soon? Dentists scare me a bit. I hope you're doing OK!
JenStar
Posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 20:58:18
In reply to Re: T tells me to take it easy on myself » partlycloudy, posted by JenStar on July 25, 2005, at 19:44:10
Tomorrow I get to see my dentist who tells the same bad jokes every time you see him, asks you questions when he has both hands in your mouth, and is the nicest, gentlest dentist I've ever had. I am pretty tired of having a headache from my teeth not lining up in usual crooked way.
Smoother times lay (lie? drat!!) ahead.My support meeting tonight was a great place for me to be. Even though it's not a mental health-oriented group, most of us are on meds of some kind, and some are in therapy. Kind of a mini babble IRL only it's once a week. Gahhh!! Can you imagine only being able to babble once a week? I'd be bursting.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 21:01:36
In reply to Re: T tells me to take it easy on myself » partlycloudy, posted by Poet on July 25, 2005, at 18:21:06
Yes - to me it feels like I'm being honest about myself. To everyone else it looks like I'm beating myself with a willow branch. Like if I took it any easier, I'd be eating bon bons, you know?? I have pretty high expectations of what I "should" be able to do, and I'm constantly letting myself down.
Still deciding on what colour toesies to have. Maybe THAT will be my big accomplishment tomorrow!
thanks
Posted by Shortelise on July 26, 2005, at 0:14:02
In reply to T tells me to take it easy on myself, posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 14:43:33
There are times when I can think of myself almost as if I were someone else, and nurture myself.
It's hard to explain - but I will sometimes just sort of pet my arm, and say to myself all of the gentle, kind things I need to hear.
WHy is it that there is something satisfying is saying the nasty things, though? I don't get it.
ShortE
Posted by Damos on July 26, 2005, at 0:25:45
In reply to T tells me to take it easy on myself, posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 14:43:33
Hey PC, as a serial selfbeaterupperra extraordinaire I really wish I had an answer for you. But in the absence of one, I'll join the chorus of those advocating some serious self indulgence and pampering a) you most definitely deserve it and b)it sure can't hurt.
Hope the toothypegs feel better soon. Sending you lots of novocaine filled wishes.
(((((PC)))))
Posted by annierose on July 26, 2005, at 21:33:05
In reply to T tells me to take it easy on myself, posted by partlycloudy on July 25, 2005, at 14:43:33
PC-
I know how rotten you feel with the endless dental appointments and pain that comes and goes, but mostly comes!! It's just YUCKY! I've been out of town, then our wi-fi service crashed, so I've been computerless since Saturday morning. I feel bad that I haven't had a chance to write back to you.
I'm so sick of dental pain, I refused to make the second appointment to get the "real" crown put it (just have the temporary crown that feels yucky).
Then, in the midst of the first crown appointment, the one that lasted for 2 1/2 hours, that I cried throughout, the dentist had the NERVE to ask me, "you have a filling that needs replacing on your lower right, do you want me to go ahead and replace it now?" I wanted to spit in her face, but I'm a grown-up, so I didn't, just gave her a look that said, "are you completely out of your MIND?"
My doctor once told me, when your body is trying to heal, you just get tired. So much energy is devoted to healing, that rest can be a good thing. It's a fineline between, getting enough rest, or so much rest that you become over-tired.
I'm glad you went to your sobriety meeting. I'm so proud of you. You are so strong. It's such an accomplishment!! It takes so much courage.
Save some room under your rock. I was in Chicago for business this weekend and it was 105 but felt 115 ... dreadful! And I followed the weather home. At least it rained all day.
Thinking of you, and hope your crowns go better than mine. Take some motrin before you go, so it will already be in your system when you leave.
Annierose
Posted by partlycloudy on July 27, 2005, at 8:28:20
In reply to Re: T tells me to take it easy on myself » partlycloudy, posted by Shortelise on July 26, 2005, at 0:14:02
I've done that since I was a little girl - it really is very soothing. Sometimes I sing softly, or say "it's OK" over and over. Now I only do it in times of great stress, but it has the same power to calm me. I'm pretty certain that it's something my mother was supposed to do but she couldn't, for her own reasons.
p.s. saw your post on Social - hang in there, ShortE. You're like a great well that everyone is drawing from at the moment. I hope you'll be able to restore yourself soon.
partlycloudy
Posted by Shortelise on July 28, 2005, at 2:12:13
In reply to Re: T tells me to take it easy on myself » Shortelise, posted by partlycloudy on July 27, 2005, at 8:28:20
Thanks PC. I think I need to give myself some of the kind care. I told my sister that it's hard taking care of three people and she said, there are FOUR of you.
ShortE
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