Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 517585

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Re: My decision! :) (followed by personal ramble) » caraher

Posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 6:58:42

In reply to Re: My decision! :) (followed by personal ramble), posted by caraher on June 24, 2005, at 11:52:02


> I've thought about asking my T this kind of question, only in a more abstract way. I really don't care if she is attracted to me, I don't entertain romantic or sexual fantasies about her.

That's a good idea, after all she is your "test" relationship for the real world, right? And if you say what you said above, then it doesn't put her on the spot.

>My usual tendency is to shy away from eye contact, smiling etc. in part because I tend to believe I'm a basically unattractive and am better off drawing as little attention to myself as possible.

You know, the first thing that attracts me to a guy is a great smile. A real genuine, from the heart, smile. My p-doc is really nice, very warm, and has a super awesome smile. He's not someone I would normally find attractive, but his smile is disarming, at least IMO. Helps that his manner matches, and he loves to laugh.
So smile away now that you're feeling better about yourself! I'm sure you have a wonderful smile. You have a great personality on the boards.
>
> I'd feel a lot more comfortable, and that would be my motivation for bringing it up.
>
She would probably feel flattered that she has helped you get to this point in your life!

Good luck with that!
Jazzy

 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too! » Jazzed

Posted by happyflower on June 25, 2005, at 7:15:13

In reply to Re: My decision! :), posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 6:51:12

>
> > So, give it a try, and see his reaction, might be fun to throw him off like that, but I think I'd stay away from any discussion of sex that session. Don't want to do any major damage! LOL

No way am I doing that! lol I am too shy and would feel so embarrest! lol Plus after nursing 2 babies, they aren't as perky as before! lol But it works for my fantasies.

You know I think Susan should write a fantasy book about women and their T's. I am sure since the feeling is so common, it would sell like hotcakes! But I bet she would do a more fun
ending! lol :)


> I'm going to ask for more frequent sessions, at least for the summer, so we can get into it and get going with it. I'm so impatient!

I am impatient too! Have a good weekend! I am going to the Elkhart Jazz Festival tonight so I won't be around much! :)
>
>

 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!

Posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 7:44:22

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too! » Jazzed, posted by happyflower on June 25, 2005, at 7:15:13


>
> No way am I doing that! lol I am too shy and would feel so embarrest! lol Plus after nursing 2 babies, they aren't as perky as before! lol But it works for my fantasies.

I'm sorry, hope I didn't offend! I know what ya mean, I had 3 out of 4 babies who nursed. Wowza, it really isn't fair is it?

>
> You know I think Susan should write a fantasy book about women and their T's. I am sure since the feeling is so common, it would sell like hotcakes! But I bet she would do a more fun
> ending! lol :)

OMGosh, some of her posts make me feel like I need to go get some sex! And of course, they have such a sensual feeling. She creates wonderful visuals, and has a real way with words. Yes, a book would sell like hotcakes, and I'll get in line to buy one now.
Susan, you out there? How 'bout it?
>
>

> I am impatient too! Have a good weekend! I am going to the Elkhart Jazz Festival tonight so I won't be around much! :)

Dam*! I was hoping you'd go see Sharkboy and Lava Girl in 3D w/me and my son! Hey, did you know, there's been research that indicates jazz fans get 30% more sex than other ppl. Interesting!

Jazzy
> >
> >
>
>

 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!

Posted by happyflower on June 25, 2005, at 7:59:07

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!, posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 7:44:22

>
> >
> > >
> I'm sorry, hope I didn't offend! I know what ya mean, I had 3 out of 4 babies who nursed. Wowza, it really isn't fair is it?

Well since we don't offend each other, how about an agreement? How bout we be as crazy with each other and not worry about offending each other. I guess it could happen, but I think we are stong enough to tell each other! :)
> > > Dam*! I was hoping you'd go see Sharkboy and Lava Girl in 3D w/me and my son!

My kids want to see this, tell me if it is good! We still have to Madagascar. Now that one looks good!

Hey, did you know, there's been research that indicates jazz fans get 30% more sex than other ppl. Interesting!

Well they didn't ask me, because I sure don't! lol Maybe thats why my T and trumpet teacher, and mailman looks so good! lol Oh, well....maybe the mailman will come through. The other day, he said is that you playing that trumpet? I don't know what he meant by that, but he didn't say anymore after I admitted it!

---Horney flower

 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!

Posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 8:09:58

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!, posted by happyflower on June 25, 2005, at 7:59:07

> >
> > >
> > > >
> > I'm sorry, hope I didn't offend! I know what ya mean, I had 3 out of 4 babies who nursed. Wowza, it really isn't fair is it?
>
> Well since we don't offend each other, how about an agreement? How bout we be as crazy with each other and not worry about offending each other.

It's a deal!

>
> My kids want to see this, tell me if it is good! We still have to Madagascar. Now that one looks good!

We have to see that too, but his friends have seeen it, drat! I'll let you know.

>

> Well they didn't ask me, because I sure don't! lol Maybe thats why my T and trumpet teacher, and mailman looks so good! lol Oh, well....maybe the mailman will come through. The other day, he said is that you playing that trumpet? I don't know what he meant by that, but he didn't say anymore after I admitted it!

Ask him!

>
> ---Horney flower

LOL, have fun at the concert, horn!


 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!

Posted by caraher on June 25, 2005, at 10:24:12

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!, posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 7:44:22

> > You know I think Susan should write a fantasy book about women and their T's. I am sure since the feeling is so common, it would sell like hotcakes! But I bet she would do a more fun
> > ending! lol :)
>
> OMGosh, some of her posts make me feel like I need to go get some sex! And of course, they have such a sensual feeling. She creates wonderful visuals, and has a real way with words. Yes, a book would sell like hotcakes, and I'll get in line to buy one now.
> Susan, you out there? How 'bout it?

Hmmm... maybe Susan needs more incentive than just royalties to turn her writing talents toward a book...

Susan, if you're reading, once you publish the book everyone on Babble wants you to write you'll probably have your pick of a fairly large number of men who would love to help you out with your unsatisfied desires. Your steamier posts don't just turn on the ladies, you know ;)

 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too! » happyflower

Posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 18:47:06

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too! » Jazzed, posted by happyflower on June 25, 2005, at 7:15:13

I know my side, and I can fantasize his so well, with so many different scenarios of his own thoughts and feelings, I've certainly written the books in my head so many times, and every time there's something different about it, some new twist a person could add to the story. Like, a he said she sort of thing, a way to organize our perceptions about these therapy types of relationships. Something that might be fun and also helpful for patients and for T's. There's a demand for books like that. Sigh. But I'm no writer. Who here is a writer? Calling all writers.. how do you learn to write??? Without actually taking the course.. it can't be done, can it.

 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too! » Jazzed

Posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 18:50:15

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!, posted by Jazzed on June 25, 2005, at 7:44:22

If you're not talking about me, then my face is really, really red. Like, popping and sweating, the cheeks fully puffed out the skin shiny, you know that hurt feeling you get when you really blow your cheeks out? Like a burning sensation. I'm exploding with embarrassment, my mouth is making that bum shape. That used to be big in cartoons when I was a kid, that anal mouth. Hah. Oh yes, and the crossed eyes. I'd love to see some of those old cartoons right now. :)

 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too! » happyflower

Posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 18:51:51

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!, posted by happyflower on June 25, 2005, at 7:59:07

I did Madagascar with my son, it's not really my thing but he loved it, I'm glad I took him. There wasn't enough adult humour in it to satisfy me, I guess. But there were quite a few good laughs.

 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too! » caraher

Posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 18:56:32

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!, posted by caraher on June 25, 2005, at 10:24:12

Once again, if you're not talking about me I'm toast.
Because I really love putting stuff down, stuff I can really let my head get into, and then sometimes my body follows, and it's fab-u-lous, absolutely fabulous. God. Okay, the one time I would actually believe there is a God, would be that ultimate sexual experience with the ultimate person.. the one you really want to be with, the person you've wanted to touch, to caress with your eyes, for so long, the person you've just wanted to be alone with, that's all. The only.
Oh, my. The orchid speaks again.
You know, one person can have a lot of different voices. I like that.

 

Changing topic a sec, and Happyflower too » pinkeye

Posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 19:40:47

In reply to You would never know !!! » happyflower, posted by pinkeye on June 23, 2005, at 17:02:12

That was beautifully put, about the bandwidth, it's a pretty accurate description of the amount of attention they can give to any one person. Like all of us, there's a lot of other stuff in our heads too. I'd suspect more so with a thinking therapist. I think it's important for a therapist to be happy with himself and his life, really very interested in his own life, but not to the exclusion of having a bit of extra time to think things through, you know ... it's a balancing act, I'm pretty sure of that. I bet sometimes they get a bit topheavy, and teeter, and maybe need a bit of help, because they have to stay emotionally stable, that's their big priority I suppose, or at least I think it should be, for everybody. It's a gift, it really is.
I fell in love with this man, and I feel really kind of silly. It's embarrassing, because love isn't supposed to have a "silly" string attached. But this one does, from all the people that have said, "Oh, that's Classic." It makes it feel like I'm being judged for being in love with someone, when I really do love this person, I love what I know of this person, or what I feel to be true about this person. I love the feeling, too, it fills me up and makes me feel full of joy. Enjoy, did you know that word means In the state of joy? En- is within. Within joy. So when somebody tells you to enjoy something, you're really getting a wonderful wish for yourself.
I don't think we should feel bad about being attracted to somebody, no matter who it is... maybe if this woman's therapist admitted his own feelings, well if he looks at himself and has them, he wouldn't feel pressured when she talks about sex. If he has fantasies, that's great, it's fine, but he has to get all his needs met before he walks into that room with a client because otherwise he's put a block there, something there's no way the client can work around. Sounds like happyflower's therapist has to figure out why he's uncomfortable around her, no matter what it is, even if it's something that's Not good, he has to deal with it and get it out of the way, Happyflower you have to be able to talk to him.. tell him about the faces he's making, try to get him to see that he's giving you some reactions you're having a hard time dealing with.

 

Re: Changing topic a sec, and Happyflower too » Susan47

Posted by happyflower on June 26, 2005, at 20:08:17

In reply to Changing topic a sec, and Happyflower too » pinkeye, posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 19:40:47

Thanks Susan,
You make a lot of sense to me. I do think I will ask him about his reactions when I talk about sex. I am sure this subject will come up again. I think he fine talking about sex in general, but when it comes to me talking about my sex drive it seems to affect him in some wierd way. I think if he is attracted to me, and he is still a man, even if he is a T, a T still has a penis if you know what I mean.lol Thanks for your input Susan! :)

 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!

Posted by caraher on June 26, 2005, at 20:14:47

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too! » happyflower, posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 18:47:06

> But I'm no writer. Who here is a writer? Calling all writers.. how do you learn to write??? Without actually taking the course.. it can't be done, can it.

You're not hearing us... you have a wonderful talent of expression that comes from within. I could take a million classes and never come up with what you do. You're already a writer; you just need an editor, practice and the decision to do it (not necessarily in that order ;) )

 

Yes, he does have one, and quite I'm sure it's

Posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 21:51:31

In reply to Re: Changing topic a sec, and Happyflower too » Susan47, posted by happyflower on June 26, 2005, at 20:08:17

....absolutely the loveliest penis ... sigh.
Here comes a rant,
I can't help it,
sorry.
Y'know, there's not many people out there who can do it for me, I wish there were. I need to get excited about someone real. It's just so bloody hard, it doesn't come easily to trust and desire and lust and feel really good things about wanting to be with a particular person.. it's just ridiculous that therapists get paid for people to feel this way about them. It's just no fun, unrequited desire, unrequited lust, I Hate the feeling sometimes, it's so FRUSTRATING, Life Is Too Bloody Short for This Sh*t. How can anybody stand it??? I would never ever ever choose to see a male therapist again, that I was immediately attracted to. It would just be stupid. It's torture, it's absolute hell and I hate it.

 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!

Posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 21:55:42

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!, posted by caraher on June 26, 2005, at 20:14:47

D'you know what?
There is absolutely a method to writing.
I don't know what it is.
First of all, a story needs to be told.
So, you have to have a story.
Do you have one? I'm not sure I'd know how to tell mine.
I might do better just to keep .. hmm... straggling along, like this,
making myself happy when I can, working during the day and getting my compensation from being with sick people who need my help. I like that. And then there's a lot of smart people around there, caring smart people ... also lots of potential friends, I love that. But writing is difficult, when it doesn't come from your heart. To write you really honestly have to have an open heart. There's just no other way to do it.
But then you also have to have the method.
Not just the "way with words", you know, but the ability to tell the story from beginning to end, so that it has meaning all the way through, it excites the reader and then resolves. It's like an orgasm, really, same structure. Ooops.

 

Re: Yes, he does have one, and quite I'm sure it's

Posted by happyflower on June 26, 2005, at 21:57:48

In reply to Yes, he does have one, and quite I'm sure it's, posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 21:51:31

Susan, it is okay to rant, no need to say you are sorry. I am comfortable with it, if you want to babble mail me, if you are not comforable with it, I don't mind.
I think a lot of people want what they can't have. It is natural thing, desire, . Even though my husband has been a butt lately, he taught me that love can happen. I see so many unhappy marriages out there, I think love will happen when you learn to love yourself first.

 

And BTW, Caraher, You Ought to Be Careful » caraher

Posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 21:59:19

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!, posted by caraher on June 25, 2005, at 10:24:12

I may take you too seriously....hmmm. Sigh. D'you know, I've been going through this thing lately where I've been finding older men, I mean guys in their sixties and seventies, even into their eighties, I hope this doesn't sound sick or anything, but I've been seeing their sexuality, I've been feeling like they're attractive, in some ways even more than the young men. Well, really, in all ways except emancipated-looking, a lot of older people get that way, it's not good.
I'm still trying to put on my ten pounds per decade. Finally did it, I think. Pooooof, she's a marshmallow. Fills in the wrinkles.

 

Re: My decision! :) (followed by personal ramble) » caraher

Posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 22:04:47

In reply to Re: My decision! :) (followed by personal ramble), posted by caraher on June 24, 2005, at 11:52:02

I can't believe you said that, I can't believe you said that horrible monster bit, because that's how I've felt most of my life too. It hurts, it actually hurts to hear you speak that way about yourself, that feeling you have is so wrong, so untrue. You just haven't seen your true self yet. When you do you'll see how gorgeous you really are, and how others see and reflect what you're feeling about yourself. It's amazing, you're absolutely gorgeous just from the way you communicate, you know. I can tell you have a lot to offer people.

 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too! » Susan47

Posted by Jazzed on June 27, 2005, at 7:09:15

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too! » happyflower, posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 18:51:51

> I did Madagascar with my son, it's not really my thing but he loved it, I'm glad I took him. There wasn't enough adult humour in it to satisfy me, I guess. But there were quite a few good laughs.

Lava Girl... was SO lame! I tried to nap during the movie, but I couldn't. What was funny was that they had places in it called the "stream of consciousness", and oh....I can't remember the other stuff, that was pretty funny. The 3D effects were NOT good, but the boys liked it, so....
Jazzy

 

Re: My decision! :) For Susan too! » Susan47

Posted by Jazzed on June 27, 2005, at 7:10:53

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too! » Jazzed, posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 18:50:15

Yep, you, when you talk about sex, sometimes it's just so erotic! I"m not into women at all, but the men out there have to notice too!
Jazzy

 

Re: Changing topic a sec, and Happyflower too » happyflower

Posted by Jazzed on June 27, 2005, at 7:19:52

In reply to Re: Changing topic a sec, and Happyflower too » Susan47, posted by happyflower on June 26, 2005, at 20:08:17

> Thanks Susan,
> You make a lot of sense to me. I do think I will ask him about his reactions when I talk about sex. I am sure this subject will come up again.

Hey Happy,

I hope you make it come up. It's your session, he's your T, he should be able to talk about your feelings about sex. I already know mine will be just fine with it, cause it's already come up, and he wanted me to "tell me more...."
LOL Yeah, I bet you want me to "tell you more"! LOL Well, at least I know it'll be an okay topic!

I fully intend to talk about SEX tonight in my appt! Last night my husband came home, after being gone ALL weekend - you know 3 days w/o SEX!
Anyway, when he'd gotten settled, and was sitting on the couch, I came and sat on his lap, facing him, and started kissing him, and saying things to him, and running my fingers through his hair. And, what did he do?! He laughed at me!!! He actually laughed at me! At first it was okay, and then I asked him something erotic, and he laughed and said, "Yes, you still do. I have to go to bed." Like, I'm tired, not like oooo, baby I gotta have you. I was pissed!
He knew he'd made a big mistake! Oh well, so it's gonna come up tonight, unless we don't get to it, I have a million questions to ask him.

Jazzy

 

Re: My decision! :) Happyflower/writers » caraher

Posted by Jazzed on June 27, 2005, at 7:21:51

In reply to Re: My decision! :) For Susan too!, posted by caraher on June 26, 2005, at 20:14:47

> > But I'm no writer. Who here is a writer? Calling all writers.. how do you learn to write??? Without actually taking the course.. it can't be done, can it.
>
> You're not hearing us... you have a wonderful talent of expression that comes from within. I could take a million classes and never come up with what you do. You're already a writer; you just need an editor, practice and the decision to do it (not necessarily in that order ;) )

The Harlequin Romance Novel web site has an online course for learning how to write romance novels. It's a blow by blow, no pun intended, course. Might give a look see.

Jazzy

 

Re: And BTW, Caraher, You Ought to Be Careful » Susan47

Posted by Jazzed on June 27, 2005, at 7:24:59

In reply to And BTW, Caraher, You Ought to Be Careful » caraher, posted by Susan47 on June 26, 2005, at 21:59:19

> I've been going through this thing lately where I've been finding older men, I mean guys in their sixties and seventies, even into their eighties, I hope this doesn't sound sick or anything, but I've been seeing their sexuality,


Not sick, I don't know how old you are, but there are guys in their 50's and 60's I find very attractive, and am sexually attracted to them. Not 80's mind you, that's just too old for me, but hey, it worked for Anna Nicole Smith, now didn't it?!
Jazzy

 

Re: Changing topic a sec, and Happyflower too

Posted by happyflower on June 27, 2005, at 7:32:21

In reply to Re: Changing topic a sec, and Happyflower too » happyflower, posted by Jazzed on June 27, 2005, at 7:19:52

> >
> Hey Happy,
>
> I hope you make it come up. It's your session, he's your T, he should be able to talk about your feelings about sex. I already know mine will be just fine with it, cause it's already come up, and he wanted me to "tell me more...."

SOunds like a come on to me! lol Oh, baby, tell me more you sweet Jazzy Smazzy! And a horney Jazzy needs some and well , maybe you better talk about something else, or else that same shirt he always wears will start to look good to you! lol
I am still sure what his reactions are when I talk about sex, maybe I am reading him wrong. I guess I won't know until I confront him about it.

But my next session I need to talk about more inportant stuff like my butt of a husband and he doesn't know yet that I have started to play my trumpet again. He will be surprised because he was encouraging it, and I said no way!
> LOL Yeah, I bet you want me to "tell you more"! LOL Well, at least I know it'll be an okay topic!
>
> I fully intend to talk about SEX tonight in my appt! Last night my husband came home, after being gone ALL weekend - you know 3 days w/o SEX!

So sorry, Jazzy, I know how that feels. I didn't get any this weekend either! But my husband was home!

I am glad you are pumped up for your session tonight! Good Luck, and keep your clothes on, and let us know how it goes. Knowing you Jazzy, I bet your T will look away! lol Or if he didn't before, he sure will now! lol :)

 

post above for JAZZY SMAZZY! (nm)

Posted by happyflower on June 27, 2005, at 7:42:52

In reply to Re: Changing topic a sec, and Happyflower too, posted by happyflower on June 27, 2005, at 7:32:21


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