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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jasmineneroli on February 26, 2005, at 0:15:31
Um, I've been spending a lot of time lately pondering the psychological aspects of my GAD. I'm wondering how much I perpetuate states that end up worsening my anxiety, in order to try not to notice my anxiety...............if that makes any sense.
Like, I'm always taking on more and more responsibilities and I just CAN'T ignore these things, or have someone else do them. I let my creative ideas run amok, and end up not getting ANYTHING done. This causes more stress and anxiety (and then, also fires me up to get lots accomplished). Then I go into "MUST ACT" mode, and I'm truly super-effective likes this and feel happy and relieved. I get anxious if something prevents me from taking my decided course of action on the MUST ACT road and have had panic or rage attacks as a result. The whole cycle is exhausting.I'm thinking that I need to learn how to "soothe" myself. I'm very good at helping soothe others..it was my profession for some time, and my role as Mom too. I just only know how to be all action and thinking. Escalating that appears to be my self-soothing style.
I would like to learn new ways.
How do you soothe yourself in anxiety or other highly emotional states?
I would greatly appreciate any input.
Thanks,
Jas
Posted by alexandra_k on February 26, 2005, at 0:41:12
In reply to How do you soothe yourself?, posted by jasmineneroli on February 26, 2005, at 0:15:31
Meditation.
I try to practice at night.
And then I practice during the day.
Whenever I notice feeling 'wound up'.
10 seconds.
10 seconds of regulated breathing
10 seconds of refusing to focus on the mess of stuff...
Helps me feel a little better.
And physically relaxed.
That doesn't take so much time.
But it helps.And it helps me think more clearly after.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 26, 2005, at 0:41:37
In reply to Re: How do you soothe yourself? » jasmineneroli, posted by alexandra_k on February 26, 2005, at 0:41:12
Well, sometimes it helps ;-)
Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2005, at 8:41:01
In reply to How do you soothe yourself?, posted by jasmineneroli on February 26, 2005, at 0:15:31
Not well, and I wouldn't advise anyone to use my methods.
But you say that you're very good at soothing others, or helping them to soothe themselves. Maybe you have inside you the key. Can you pretend you're one of your kids and soothe yourself the way you'd soothe them?
Posted by TamaraJ on February 26, 2005, at 9:43:39
In reply to How do you soothe yourself?, posted by jasmineneroli on February 26, 2005, at 0:15:31
I can relate to what you are saying and going through. I still haven't mastered the art of self-soothing, but I keep trying. Some things I have been trying to lately are: 1) stepping back and trying to gain some perspective by looking at all I have to do, then asking myself if I really need to do it all, or do I really need to do it all today (usually I realize that, in the grand scheme of things, some of the things I was putting pressure on myself to do can wait); 2) practicing saying "No" more (to avoid over-extending myself); 3) trying to make some projects just "me" projects (like spending a day or a few hours refinishing an old table); 4) going for long walks (especially along the river); 5) listening to music and allowing myself to be silly and dance around the house to old, upbeat songs (I have music on pretty much no matter what I am doing - I find it hard to concentrate without it.).
Have you thought about perhaps taking a yoga class? I am planning to start yoga very soon. I have heard a lot of positive things about it and how it can really, with practice, help keep a person centered and calm, yet still energized and motivated.
Take care of yourself Jas. I hope you can develop and hone one or more self-soothing methods that bring you the relief and peace of mind you deserve.
Tamara
> Um, I've been spending a lot of time lately pondering the psychological aspects of my GAD. I'm wondering how much I perpetuate states that end up worsening my anxiety, in order to try not to notice my anxiety...............if that makes any sense.
> Like, I'm always taking on more and more responsibilities and I just CAN'T ignore these things, or have someone else do them. I let my creative ideas run amok, and end up not getting ANYTHING done. This causes more stress and anxiety (and then, also fires me up to get lots accomplished). Then I go into "MUST ACT" mode, and I'm truly super-effective likes this and feel happy and relieved. I get anxious if something prevents me from taking my decided course of action on the MUST ACT road and have had panic or rage attacks as a result. The whole cycle is exhausting.
>
> I'm thinking that I need to learn how to "soothe" myself. I'm very good at helping soothe others..it was my profession for some time, and my role as Mom too. I just only know how to be all action and thinking. Escalating that appears to be my self-soothing style.
>
> I would like to learn new ways.
> How do you soothe yourself in anxiety or other highly emotional states?
> I would greatly appreciate any input.
> Thanks,
> Jas
>
Posted by Shortelise on February 26, 2005, at 11:53:54
In reply to How do you soothe yourself?, posted by jasmineneroli on February 26, 2005, at 0:15:31
WHen I'm in the sort of state you describe, I tell myself, one thing at a time.
And I also tell myself, good enough is good enough.
That's so important to me: good enough is good enough. That keeps me from ripping myself up with perfectionism.
As for soothing, argh. I cry, etc. but there is no way for me to sotthe that anxiety when it is based on things I MUST get done. I simply have to dothose things.
What I do is make absolutely sure that I don't take on too much. I know what happens when I do and I don't want to be there.
But there is that high, isn't there? That creative zone I have to get into to get everything done, that pure movement place where another part of my brain takes over and I am in a place where I feel anxious, but good anxious, constructive anxious.
For me, not all anxiety is bad. I need anxiety to do my job - it gives me energy and creativity. Or, if it doesn't give it to me, it compliments the creative process, and I love it.
My solution, then, is to make sure I don't take on so much that I go into overload (that's how I ended up cracking up a few years ago).
When I do have anxiety provoking stuff niggling, I do it one thing at a time.
When I am working and I have to be super creative, I tell myself "good enough is good enough" and I just go with the creativity.
This doesn't always work, sometimes I get sick with anxiety, and I hate it. But is happens so much less than it did, and I deal with it as best I can.
I hope this helps. Anxiety can be so painful.
ShortE
Posted by TamaraJ on March 2, 2005, at 18:02:32
In reply to How do you soothe yourself?, posted by jasmineneroli on February 26, 2005, at 0:15:31
Posted by jasmineneroli on March 4, 2005, at 1:33:46
In reply to Jas, how are u doing? Managing to hang in there? (nm) » jasmineneroli, posted by TamaraJ on March 2, 2005, at 18:02:32
Hi Tamara:
You are so thoughtful! Yes, I'm hanging in OK. I've been busy at my business and trying not to feel anxious about a situation involving my daughter!!! I'm actually doing pretty alright most of the time recently, considering the circumstances. Just don't have enough time to really deal with myself.
And you? I just read the thread about you going back to work soon. I took about a moonth off for stress leave about 2 years ago, and it was dififcult to return, but once I was there, it was so easy to pick up again, and everyone was very aware and helpful. I felt cared for, which helped tremendously. I'm sure you will feel the same.Good luck,
Jas
Posted by antigua on March 4, 2005, at 13:11:24
In reply to How do you soothe yourself?, posted by jasmineneroli on February 26, 2005, at 0:15:31
Well, yesterday I took my son to Toys 'R Us and there was a big pink bunny there so I had to buy it (for my daughter, of course) and I found myself hugging it pretty tight walking around the store. I felt great. I did give it to her, but it made me feel like a kid--one who had her needs met by the comforting stuffed animal.
Wonder where that came from...
antigua
Posted by TamaraJ on March 4, 2005, at 13:35:32
In reply to Re: Jas, how are u doing? Managing to hang in there? » TamaraJ, posted by jasmineneroli on March 4, 2005, at 1:33:46
Hi Jas,
I'm glad to hear that you are hanging in there and keeping yourself busy. I am sorry about your daughter. Is she still having problems getting her social anxiety under control? I remember that you have been concerned about her for a while now. I am sorry to hear that she is still having a hard time. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, her mother, to see your precious daughter struggling. Has there been any progress in convincing her pdoc to let her try Klonopin? My thoughts are with both of you, and I hope things start to look up for her real soon. And, Jas, I know it's probably hard to think of yourself when someone so important to you needs your support, but please don't lose sight of yourself and your needs.
Thanks for your well wishes. I am so eager to go back to work, and hope that the new med my pdoc has prescribed will bring my depression, mostly brought on and exacerbated by 3 setbacks with physical illness, under control. My fingers, toes and eyes are crossed! :-)
Take care of yourself Jas. Sending both you and your daughter positive, healing thoughts.
All the best,
Tamara
> Hi Tamara:
>
> You are so thoughtful! Yes, I'm hanging in OK. I've been busy at my business and trying not to feel anxious about a situation involving my daughter!!! I'm actually doing pretty alright most of the time recently, considering the circumstances. Just don't have enough time to really deal with myself.
>
>
> And you? I just read the thread about you going back to work soon. I took about a moonth off for stress leave about 2 years ago, and it was dififcult to return, but once I was there, it was so easy to pick up again, and everyone was very aware and helpful. I felt cared for, which helped tremendously. I'm sure you will feel the same.
>
> Good luck,
> Jas
Posted by jasmineneroli on March 5, 2005, at 0:40:11
In reply to Re: Jas, how are u doing? Managing to hang in there? » jasmineneroli, posted by TamaraJ on March 4, 2005, at 13:35:32
I apologise in taking so long to acknowledge everyone's input! It always helps to read other's ideas.
I thought about what I do to soothe others and it's usually to listen quietly and intently to what they have to say, with plenty of close (physical proximity) contact, like within the personal space of someone. Then to gently re-phrase what they've told me, so they know I've heard them. Then it's just being with them...it's very much a physical thing. Also I apparently have a calming voice (although I think it's deadly boring!!).
SSOOOOOOOO, it sounds like I need a therapist-type person to soothe me!!!!
One thing I've recently noticed, is that I like to be tightly bound up in bed covers or wrapped in a blanket. I seem to relax better that way. I think I probably just feel safe and it stops me from moving around so much.
Thanks again.
Jas
Posted by Dinah on March 5, 2005, at 8:12:49
In reply to Thank you all, for your suggestions....., posted by jasmineneroli on March 5, 2005, at 0:40:11
Sounds like you've done a good job of figuring out what it is that you want and need. :)
This is the end of the thread.
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