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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 17:38:27
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage!, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 17:26:01
Does it sound like Im overreacting? I really feel upset about it, but maybe I just feel bad in general right now and it is my emotions talking.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 17:53:45
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Fallen4MyT, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 17:38:27
Wow thats a hard one to answer without knowing you and hearing your voice and all...I dont think you are overreacting I think...think ok...it's just you percieve many as having the best of the best and you don't have what you read or think they have. I mean here is a small odd <I can be odd with examples> if I read everyone/MANY on here got free meds for all their needs and my pharmscist didnt give them to me free....it would be way hard :( and I would feel very cheated. The key here is you are reading what we are saying and not what we never say or maybe never know...Maybe some people's T's seem so caring but are so with every single person they see, like a act in a way. Do I MAKE SENSE?
> Does it sound like Im overreacting? I really feel upset about it, but maybe I just feel bad in general right now and it is my emotions talking.
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 18:07:56
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 17:53:45
Thanks, Yeah, you make sense. I understand what you are saying.
but does it sound strange that my T doesn't really want me to get into my issues? I am serioulsy considering bailing on the relationship since the whole point is to heal and I don't seem to have an invitation to share. does that make any sense? do you think this is normal, I always got the impression that T's kind of dug for info (in a gentle way). Well mine sort of mildly dug and then when i opened up it has been kindof pushed aside. and in the beginning my T even said that this was going to have to be talked about and delt with. I am sorry if i am driving anyone nuts with this but i don't understand what is going on and im too afraid to ask becasue of what a sensitive topic it is. I think i am being really repetitve in my posts...ill stop now.
Is it obvious im driving myself nuts over this??
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 19:12:14
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Fallen4MyT, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 18:07:56
Sorry I left for a while to exercise. I am still thinking at least give him say 3 more sessions and tell him point blank you FEEL <stress that word> like he is brushing the issues you want to work on aside...scary sounding but its easy once youre thinking hey I am paying for this :) Maybe if it is easier write it out and hand it to him. Maybe? he thinks you are afraid to go too far in that area or he is afraid it might be a bad idea for you right now but till you ask you will not know..Sometimes T's see danger for the client and want to feel around before they jump back in on that topic as not to overwhelme you but sometimes too it is there own issues....so please ask why you two have not been back to that....BTW, you cannot drive ME anywhere I am already at hahahahaha....
> Thanks, Yeah, you make sense. I understand what you are saying.
>
> but does it sound strange that my T doesn't really want me to get into my issues? I am serioulsy considering bailing on the relationship since the whole point is to heal and I don't seem to have an invitation to share. does that make any sense? do you think this is normal, I always got the impression that T's kind of dug for info (in a gentle way). Well mine sort of mildly dug and then when i opened up it has been kindof pushed aside. and in the beginning my T even said that this was going to have to be talked about and delt with. I am sorry if i am driving anyone nuts with this but i don't understand what is going on and im too afraid to ask becasue of what a sensitive topic it is. I think i am being really repetitve in my posts...ill stop now.
> Is it obvious im driving myself nuts over this??
Posted by Susan47 on January 11, 2005, at 19:21:38
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Fallen4MyT, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 18:07:56
I understand your rage, do I ever. I feel like my therapist didn't really understand me at all. He pretended, and when that didn't work, he gave up.
And he broke my confidence and eroded my trust by NEVER facing what I asked him to. He did everything on HIS schedule, nothing was ever on mine ... he did things, in the end, that eroded my faith in myself, too. And my advice to you is get out while you still have anger left.
Posted by Dinah on January 11, 2005, at 20:00:26
In reply to Therapy Rage!, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 15:52:20
It may well be your therapist. In today's climate, with insurance and all, the emphasis is on keeping the client functional. Many therapists would be reluctant to dig too deep and open things they don't have time to fix. It really really depends on your therapist's orientation.
That being said, have you thoroughly discussed this with your therapist? Everything I have with my therapist, I worked hard for. His orientation is short term CBT. But I fought for a relationship with him, because there was something in him that was worth fighting for. If there's nothing in your therapist, cut your losses and find another. If there's something that you need, work on telling your therapist what is missing.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040218/msgs/315688.html
Posted by Dinah on January 11, 2005, at 20:01:59
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 17:53:45
I know mine isn't that way with every client. :)
Whatever else he may be, he's a lousy actor and too honest for his own good.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 20:05:10
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Fallen4MyT, posted by Dinah on January 11, 2005, at 20:01:59
That may be true Dinah :) but some are good actors
> I know mine isn't that way with every client. :)
>
> Whatever else he may be, he's a lousy actor and too honest for his own good.
Posted by Dinah on January 11, 2005, at 20:07:53
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Dinah, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 20:05:10
It's true. He's too incredibly insulting sometimes to be putting me on. :)
He says that as his only really long term client, he cares about me in a different way than he cares about his other clients. And since I once was his other clients, I can see that he's telling the truth.
Posted by Daisym on January 11, 2005, at 20:08:58
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Dinah, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 20:05:10
I feel a defensive impulse coming on but I *know* it is "just" my own fear that I am the biggest pain in the pututy my therapist has ever seen.
I don't think he is acting though. (shuts eyes, puts fingers in ears, begins to recite the alphabet)
Posted by Dinah on January 11, 2005, at 20:22:22
In reply to Actors » Fallen4MyT, posted by Daisym on January 11, 2005, at 20:08:58
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:06:24
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Dinah on January 11, 2005, at 20:00:26
>It really really depends on your therapist's orientation.
apparently its eklectic>That being said, have you thoroughly discussed this with your therapist?
No, I have said nothing, it seems too awkward to do. It is weird I can discuss certain issues but otehrs are really hard to talk about. I think im afraid my T will take it weird and act differently or fake with me.
>If there's nothing in your therapist, cut your losses and find another. If there's something that you need, work on telling your therapist what is missing.
After reading your post, thankyou for attaching that, I think I need to work on it a bit. I know things aren't going to change that much but maybe a little. I am starting to think it is me and my issues with attachment, only I have never ever had such a problem getting close to a person. It generally just happens.
thanks your post was helpful, I think I am going to try to work up the courage to bring it up :o
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:12:27
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Susan47 on January 11, 2005, at 19:21:38
That really sounds awful, I am sorry to hear it didn't work out. Do you have another one?
I am definately frustrated, I don't know wether the relationship is good or not?? But sometimes recently I have said things that I know my T will not know or would need clarification and I am not asked for clarification. hmmm...that is leading me to believe Im am only being half listened to. but on one level I think the relationship is good becaseu it is so distant OMG! i am driving myself crazy. But I agree with you, if it doesn't seem right then im wasting my time. I have spent so much time analizing this that I should get refunded LOL.
thanks for your support.
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:21:27
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 19:12:14
> am still thinking at least give him say 3 more sessions and tell him point blank you FEEL <stress that word> like he is brushing the issues you want to work on aside...scary sounding but its easy once youre thinking hey I am paying for this :)
scary is an understatement! Oh I am dreading this but it needs to be done. :(
>Sometimes T's see danger for the client and want to feel around before they jump back in on that topic as not to overwhelme you but sometimes too it is there own issues....so please ask why you two have not been back to that.
Ok my theory (just wanted to share) is that my T doesn't want the responsibilty of a patient who is not stable. I think I got kindof iffy emotionally after talking about my *stuff* and I think It took a little more time thatn our scheduled session out of my T or something. I am going to investigate this further cause I really hope Im wrong. But I never hear call me if you need to or are you ok?
>BTW, you cannot drive ME anywhere I am already at hahahahaha....
OMG ME TOO! I knew I saw you at the starbucks tehre! I just knew it. LOL
Posted by Susan47 on January 11, 2005, at 22:27:26
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Susan47, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:12:27
Well, you mentioned not being fully listened to, I mean saying things that need clarification and none is asked for. My therapist struck me exactly that way, too.
In the end I believe he thought he knew more than he did.
Good luck with yours.
I hope you have a successful outcome.
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:30:51
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Susan47 on January 11, 2005, at 22:27:26
>Well, you mentioned not being fully listened to, I mean saying things that need clarification and none is asked for. My therapist struck me exactly that way, too
Really? Did he sit there 'suposedly' listening and not offer much back?
mine just kind of sits there and then when a topic of interest comes up becomes more alert.
does taht sound familar?
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:35:52
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Susan47, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:30:51
FOrgot to add that when my T seems uncomfortable or at a loss for words will say soemthing that sounds like it came out a textbook for standard psychology lines. something like, "so how does that make you feel" After I just said how I @#@#@# felt. Or "that *is* a problem", ummm noooo really?
just thought id add on
Posted by Susan47 on January 11, 2005, at 23:32:08
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Susan47, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:30:51
Yes.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 12, 2005, at 0:03:23
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Fallen4MyT, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:21:27
I just got back from ER sorry so late...ok here is what I think please ask him ...cause he must have all kinds of clients and we all..ALL think we are their worst or neediest or so on....some T's like mine never tell you to call they wait for YOU to ask or they THINK they told you that I am unsure of but whats the worse that can happen you will fire him right? The best is he may say I was waiting on you to bring it back up and yes please call me if you need to....T's go into the biz knowing they will see and hear it ALL ...Keep us posted and babble me if ya need to talk
HUGS
> > am still thinking at least give him say 3 more sessions and tell him point blank you FEEL <stress that word> like he is brushing the issues you want to work on aside...scary sounding but its easy once youre thinking hey I am paying for this :)
>
> scary is an understatement! Oh I am dreading this but it needs to be done. :(
>
> >Sometimes T's see danger for the client and want to feel around before they jump back in on that topic as not to overwhelme you but sometimes too it is there own issues....so please ask why you two have not been back to that.
>
> Ok my theory (just wanted to share) is that my T doesn't want the responsibilty of a patient who is not stable. I think I got kindof iffy emotionally after talking about my *stuff* and I think It took a little more time thatn our scheduled session out of my T or something. I am going to investigate this further cause I really hope Im wrong. But I never hear call me if you need to or are you ok?
>
> >BTW, you cannot drive ME anywhere I am already at hahahahaha....
>
> OMG ME TOO! I knew I saw you at the starbucks tehre! I just knew it. LOL
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 9:11:20
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 12, 2005, at 0:03:23
>I just got back from ER sorry so late
are you ok?
the phone call thing was already answered without me actually asking, i think? let me know what you think.
My T said early on I am not available outside of office hours, I don't check my messages regularly so if you need something urgent go to the hospital.At the time i thought absolutlely nothing of it as I wasn't expecting to have any serious problems. And I havent really...its just the feeling that i get that my T is thinking -ok it is over, i spent my 45 min with you and now im off duty. As I wrote it just now I realize how cold it sounds, yuck! maybe i don't want to be with this person??
Teh other thing that may be kindof important here is that I think my T is very new and only seems to works part time. SSo It could be a major lack of experience. I don't really have much info on my T.
rain
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 9:20:25
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 12, 2005, at 0:03:23
Just wanted to add...Thank you so much for helping me work this out...Just writing about it is putting it in a different persective.
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 9:57:57
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 12, 2005, at 0:03:23
I meant to ask before, what does babble me mean?
Posted by gardenergirl on January 12, 2005, at 11:35:26
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Fallen4MyT, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:21:27
> But I never hear call me if you need to or are you ok?
Some T's actually have more rigid beliefs about phone calls. You might consider asking what your T's policy is. And asking if you are okay...well, maybe they rely on your self-report? There are really so many styles of doing therapy. Combine that with different personalities, and who knows what is going in T's lives, and I suppose there are infinite combinations for how a therapist might do therapy.
>
> >BTW, you cannot drive ME anywhere I am already at hahahahaha....
>
> OMG ME TOO! I knew I saw you at the starbucks tehre! I just knew it. LOLI just had a brilliant idea. How about a Starbucks within the therapy clinics? Or therapy at Starbucks? Just have a little waiting area that's not so public...and then a little room with the couches and plush chairs and the coffee...Oooooo, the coffee!
I'll have to write a business plan for this. ;)
gg
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 12:17:22
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by gardenergirl on January 12, 2005, at 11:35:26
>There are really so many styles of doing therapy. Combine that with different personalities, and who knows what is going in T's lives, and I suppose there are infinite combinations for how a therapist might do therapy.
You're right. You know I think that is what it is, I think My T didn't really want to have a practice with very needy patients rather ones who are having minor issues. that is why I started, not really any big problems at least it appeared that way.
And in reality I am not very needy (except here :-) ) I just started feeling like I had a crappy T after reading about good ones. It is just nice to feel that there is something btwn you an your T. I am going to feel it out next appointment.>I just had a brilliant idea. How about a Starbucks within the therapy clinics? Or therapy at Starbucks? Just have a little waiting area that's not so public...and then a little room with the couches and plush chairs and the coffee...Oooooo, the coffee!
OMG!! I think you have hit on something. I really like that idea.
Posted by antigua on January 12, 2005, at 15:10:15
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » gardenergirl, posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 12:17:22
rainbow brite, I'm not trying to offend you or anything so if you don't like what I have to say, please just blow it off.
Some Ts mirror the patient's behavior. Sometimes mine stumbles when she mirrors the wrong thing back to me and I call her on it. It often leads to great conversations, though.
Is there a chance that you're projecting your feelings onto her? Do you have a past relationship/relationships that seem familiar to this? Where you've been frustrated and angry because you couldn't say what you wanted to say?
Just a thought. Being honest and direct w/her (him?) is the only way to know. Even if you don't end up staying w/them, it will help you understand yourself better. Please try, it may be a huge step, or you may need to find another T.
good luck,
antigua
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