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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by dawnfawn on November 19, 2004, at 5:58:48
Is this a new awful trend? Or is it just a "god" complex. Here in I list my recent experience with four prominent therapists.
Number one first appointment. I arrive and wait for 15 minutes past my appointment time because therapist 1 has a case that runs over. He apologizes and gives me extra time, well we are all human. Number one second appointment. I arrive and and wait for 20 minutes because his case runs over....I do not return to this therapist feeling he is abusive of my time and feelings. If I had done this I would have been called resistant.
Therapist number two--I arrive and wait and wait for 20 minutes in a lobby area therapist arrives does not apologize and when I ask him why he was late says he doesn't matter. Because he is a "great" man I am told I go along with this. He is late for every appointment about the fifth appointment (there were other not so great signs also) I state he has a time management problem he agrees to move my appointment to a more suitable time. Not only is he still late for the next five appointments but at my last appointment the door is locked. I see him approaching in the street with a snack 20 minutes late again. When he unlocks the door there is a patient locked in his inner office where all the files and private information is strewn about on a table. I no longer see him.
Therapist number three also a brilliant well known shrink who charges more than a brain surgeon 350 an hour. I arrive for first appointment a little early there is no one there what a surprise. There is also no where to wait the office being so chi-chi that it is in a swank part of town devoted to movie stars and lofts. I wait and wait and wait I call on my cell phone. Finally as I leave to go the shrink shows up. I have now been waiting 20 minutes. There was traffic I am told. I said I was leaving at this point instead of being told some consoling claptrap I am told that they were looking forward to speaking to me because of some famous person I am friendly with!!!
Is there a new nuttiness going on?
By the way I have found a very lovely lady who starts on time if not early and is a good match for me in other ways.
I know for a fact a therapist who is so ego involved that time constrainst are only for the patient is not a good therapist and/or doctor. However, is this some new attitude for the 21 century? anyone else run into this.
Posted by sunny10 on November 19, 2004, at 8:53:03
In reply to lateness and therapists, posted by dawnfawn on November 19, 2004, at 5:58:48
my experience is that there is no concept at all of customer service or manners left at all, in any industry...
i try not to take it too personally, but with T it IS hard...
Posted by Skittles on November 19, 2004, at 9:28:27
In reply to Re: lateness and therapists, posted by sunny10 on November 19, 2004, at 8:53:03
It's usually about 10 after the hour once my T calls me into her office, but this really doesn't bother me. Sometimes she doesn't have a client before me and I figure she might be spending that time looking over my file and thinking about our session. Sometimes she does have another patient before me and sometimes she runs a bit later. But again, I'm okay with it. I know it's hard to run exactly on time and sometimes patients just need some extra time. I hope that by being understanding my karma will come back to me in the form of someone being understanding of me when I need extra time.
That said, dawnfawn's experiences seemed to be quite different from this. Maybe the problem is choosing such popular therapists - those given guru status. I can see where there could be a god complex in people like that.
Posted by Daisym on November 19, 2004, at 10:49:55
In reply to Re: lateness and therapists, posted by Skittles on November 19, 2004, at 9:28:27
In almost 17 months my Therapist has never been late. Once he arrived at the same time I did (5 min early) and asked me to give him a minute. He still wasn't late.
We rarely run over by more than a minute or 2. I'm very conscious of the next person who might be waiting. Sometimes it is very hard to leave, sometimes I bolt. But I guess he has been doing this long enough that he has a sense of time and knows when to slow us down and put me back together.
I've been late a hand-full of times. He usually says, "traffic?" Yup. And that's it. NO resistance stuff. Thank Goodness.
Posted by Poet on November 19, 2004, at 13:37:33
In reply to lateness and therapists, posted by dawnfawn on November 19, 2004, at 5:58:48
I think that you ran into and from (good for you) four egocentric therapists who need to get their priorities straight. The one who looked forward to speaking with you because you're friends with someone famous deserves a prize for most inappropriate professional manner.
I've only seen one therapist and one pdoc (who does therapy and psychoanalysis, but I see him for meds management only) so maybe I don't have enough experience, but that said.
My therapist tends to run a few minutes late and always apologizes. I know that she gives people extra time when they need it, which I appreciate. She's never kept me waiting 10 minutes or more.I see pdoc once a month, and he's been late only once. He apologized and said he was on the phone for a consult. He could be considered a *god* in his field, but must not have the ego problem you found. I have been more than five minutes late for the last two appointments, so my track record of lateness is worse than his. Good shrink, bad patient?
I'm glad you finally lucked out on number five. I can't believe the rudness you encountered from supposed professionals.
Poet
Posted by dawnfawn on November 19, 2004, at 14:08:59
In reply to Re: lateness and therapists » dawnfawn, posted by Poet on November 19, 2004, at 13:37:33
I forgot number four. She wasn't so famous but was also always at least 10 minutes late. She also once told me (I only saw her twice) when I said it was a little warm in the office that I could cancel and go home!! She might have turned up the airconditioner don't you think? Before I saw this one I mentioned that I really had a problem with starting therapy late, I might add that I also have to take time off from work for therapy and of course it costs me doesn't it.
Posted by Poet on November 19, 2004, at 14:29:52
In reply to Re: lateness and therapists, posted by dawnfawn on November 19, 2004, at 14:08:59
Unless the air conditioner was broken, it seems to me that she just wanted to go home herself. She must have been one of those kids in school who would whine to the teacher that she wanted to have class outside because it was too hot inside.
Poet
Posted by dawnfawn on November 19, 2004, at 14:33:25
In reply to Re: lateness and therapists » dawnfawn, posted by Poet on November 19, 2004, at 14:29:52
Poet, you are right about her. She told me many times that she could conduct phone therapy with me and that she lived upstate!!!
Posted by B2Chica on November 19, 2004, at 14:36:25
In reply to Re: lateness and therapists » dawnfawn, posted by Poet on November 19, 2004, at 13:37:33
my pdoc has only been late (like 20 min late) once. and he was Very apologietic and explained that he had an emergency and had to see a patient in the hospital. (IMHO-he Should be a *god* in this field and is Very good) he's hard to schedule -so swamped but he is always on time.
i am SO sorry to hear of your episodes...man. that's rediculous.
i agree with (i think it was sunny10) that customer service IS an issue in this field. i tend to have MANY issues with the receptionists. this last time one made me feel like i was crossing some HORRIBLE line cuz i saw one T in the office and wanted to make an appt to see a diff. one in same office. She said "I've just never had anyone do that before?!"
everyone else i talk to say's that's WHAT you do...need to find one you click with and all.Anyway. i have a friend that is a PA for pdoc and he says most of the time the people working in the offices have Way more issues than the patients going in.(includes T, receptionists AND pdocs) that made me smile.
so that's my 2c.
B2c.
Posted by dawnfawn on November 24, 2004, at 6:38:33
In reply to Re: lateness and therapists » dawnfawn, posted by Poet on November 19, 2004, at 13:37:33
You know I now think I am going quite mad, above and beyond my neurosis. I told my therapist the tale of the late ptherapist who was held up in traffic and wanted to discuss my famous friend. Her response was that we had to talk about why I had such stringent rules for others!!! She was the one who recommended this ptherapist by the way. I explained all I had been through with late therapists, how she was never late and how I thought it was part of a psychotherapy process to be on time. She wanted to know what I would do when the next ptherapist was late for an appointment. I told her that I would state in a telephone interview that I could not see anyone who had so little regard for a patient that they were late, especially on the first appointment. Is there a collusion between therapists here or what. I am now not so trusting of the therapist that I thought was so considerate.
Plus she is cognitive. What we talk about is my focusing on future plans so I will not feel so miserable. If I could focus on future plans and not be anxious why would I need her? Any thoughts on my rambling?
Posted by Joslynn on November 24, 2004, at 8:44:08
In reply to Re: lateness and therapists, posted by dawnfawn on November 24, 2004, at 6:38:33
I think there may be cultural expectations regarding lateness etc.? I am of Italian heritage and I tend to run a few minutes late and do not care if someone is up to 15 minutes late. I see that as sort of a buffer zone. If it is past 15 minutes, then I consider it late. But I have other friends who are real sticklers about being on time or even early. It seems to vary from person to person. With my other friends who are from Italian backgrounds, it's just sort of understood that meeting at 8 means it could be any time between 8 and 8:20.
That said, my therapist is almost always on time. My pdoc is chronically about 10-15 minutes late, but if I am particuarly upset about something, he will make my appointment a couple minutes longer to make sure I am calm enough to drive home etc., so I guess he may do that w/ other people, hence the lateness? I don't mind him being a little late because I know that in other instances, he has given me MORE time than one would expect, say a long phone call that he doesn't charge for.
If someone is late, but gives time back in other ways, then I feel like it evens out. If someone is late, but does not "give back" that lost time somehow, then I would be upset.
Also if someone is affiliated with a hospital and has to get called there for emergencies etc then I kind of expect some lateness. If someone just has a private practice, with no in-patients they have to see, then I would expect less lateness. But I don't think any doctor I have ever seen, from pdoc to gynecologist to general practitioner, has ever run exactly on time. My eye docotor is the worst of them all! But he is a really good eye doc, is thorough when I do get to see him,, and has found things that other docs missed, so I tolerate the lateness. If he wasn't any good though, no way would I wait that long!
Just my experiences. Of course, I was late to work today, so take what I say with a grain of salt!
Posted by dawnfawn on November 24, 2004, at 9:49:30
In reply to Re: lateness and therapists, posted by Joslynn on November 24, 2004, at 8:44:08
I am not talking about regular doctors, am I? I have waited as long as an hour for a regular doctor, neither am I talking about friends. Almost all psychological disciplines have always advocated 45 minute or 50 minute hour sessions since Freud I believe. And there has always been a strict time adherence to start and finish. While I was discussing this with my therapist yesterday she had her eye on the clock to tell me we only had ten minutes left, but had the nerve to say we had to discuss my obession with time???
Posted by annierose on November 24, 2004, at 10:43:51
In reply to Re: lateness and therapists, posted by dawnfawn on November 24, 2004, at 9:49:30
dawn - I do agree with you that most T's do run on time. And I would also be irritated if mine was consistently late. I don't believe my T has ever been late, so if she was, it would not bother me since it would be an exception. I think you are right to expect a certain on-timeness.
Posted by Joslynn on November 24, 2004, at 12:40:17
In reply to Re: lateness and therapists, posted by dawnfawn on November 24, 2004, at 9:49:30
I'm sorry, I thought you wanted a variety of thoughts on the topic. Also, when you wrote shrink, I assumed that meant pdoc, my mistake.
I was trying to explain that if someone is late, it may not be personal, but their own sense of time is faulty. (Not that you need to accept that at all. You are the consumer.)
Also it's not right that she is protective of time when it comes to HER time, but not when it comes to YOUR time. That would bother me too.
Posted by tryingtobewise on November 28, 2004, at 18:15:50
In reply to Re: lateness and therapists » dawnfawn, posted by Joslynn on November 24, 2004, at 12:40:17
Ah. In addition to being in therapy with a pdoc who is always on time, I work for a very popular therapist who always runs late *for no apparent reason!!!* It drives me nuts when there is a client waiting patiently and he is puttering around until 15 - 20 minutes after the scheduled start time. I don't understand it at all. He does always give his clients the full time due, and he schedules every 90 minutes (for a 50 minute appointment) so his day isn't totally out of whack. I always warn new clients now that he "tends to run a bit late" (an understatement), so no need to arrive early and don't panic if he doesn't come get you right away.
This just drives me crazy so OP, I can totally see where you are coming from!
This is the end of the thread.
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