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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 26. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shortelise on September 7, 2004, at 0:26:29
About 6 months ago, I made a cushion, took it to therapy and left it there. It is the only cushion there. I hold it often when I'm there, and I intend to take it with me when I start seeing him only occasionally.
So I'll have something from there, something that I can actually hold if I need to. And because it's mine, I don't have to ask to take it - I can just do it.ShortE
Posted by partlycloudy on September 7, 2004, at 16:50:32
In reply to My cushion, posted by shortelise on September 7, 2004, at 0:26:29
I had a T when I lived up north who had clients' personal "grabbers" in her office. I always felt left out that I had nothing to add to the collection, so I bought a spider monkey with velcro hands (not a real one, yuck) that represented what I wanted off my back. After that I felt much better.
Can you make me a cushion? I can't even sew on a button.
Posted by daisym on September 7, 2004, at 17:42:00
In reply to Re: My cushion » shortelise, posted by partlycloudy on September 7, 2004, at 16:50:32
I hang on to cushions too. Sometimes they are to keep me grounded and in the room. Sometimes they are to shield me from the world. There are several types and sizes to choose from. I'm tempted sometimes to take the throw off the back of the couch and cover all of me. I haven't done that yet.
I put pillows on my swing that look and feel just like the pillows in his office. It is comforting.
Posted by partlycloudy on September 7, 2004, at 17:44:55
In reply to Re: My cushion, posted by daisym on September 7, 2004, at 17:42:00
I like to sleep with cushions between my knees. I like not having to think about being comfortable. I think I need a cushion at my T's.
Posted by shortelise on September 8, 2004, at 3:13:35
In reply to Re: My cushion » shortelise, posted by partlycloudy on September 7, 2004, at 16:50:32
Well ... I could make you one but I think you might find it a little more convenient to buy one.
I love my cushion. I can hold it, and by doing so I somehow feel held. Odd.
Wouldn't it be funny if we all showed up in therapy next time and there were a bunch of new cushions!!! Psychobabble takes over the world!
ShortE
Posted by shortelise on September 8, 2004, at 3:17:29
In reply to Re: My cushion, posted by daisym on September 7, 2004, at 17:42:00
For the longest time I wanted to tidy the stuffed animals on a shelf in my T's office. I finally did so a few times after about two years, and it felt SO GOOD.
I wonder if it's important to do those things, like make a cushion, tidy the animals or cover one's self up with a throw. Hm.
ShortE
Posted by gardenergirl on September 8, 2004, at 9:42:50
In reply to Re: My cushion » daisym, posted by shortelise on September 8, 2004, at 3:17:29
My T has throw pillows for his couch that he apparently hides, because he doesn't like them. All this time, over one year, I wished he had them. Now that I finally asked why, there's no way I'm going to ask him to bring them out. I think bringing your own in is a great idea. Hmmm, I'll have to think about the consequences of how he will interpret this if I bring my own...
gg
Posted by Poet on September 8, 2004, at 13:22:09
In reply to My cushion, posted by shortelise on September 7, 2004, at 0:26:29
Hi ShortE,
I love the idea of my own cushion to hold or more likely hide behind. I take one of the big cushions off the back of the couch and hide behind it, but it's not my very own. Great idea. I can't sew, so I'll have to buy one.
Poet
Posted by Dinah on September 8, 2004, at 14:35:44
In reply to Re: My cushion » shortelise, posted by Poet on September 8, 2004, at 13:22:09
I think it's great y'all make yourselves so physically comfortable. My therapist's couch isn't really conducive for snuggling. It's a two person one and leather. He's got two pillows on them, but I just carefully put them to one side so I can have my back to the corner. I read about people who can take off their shoes and curl up, and I can't even imagine doing that. And I can't imagine my therapist's reaction if I did! I can't help but think he'd be eying my feet and his sofa with disapproval. As for covering with a throw. Well, I think a communal covering would be too intimate a sharing with other patients for me to feel comfortable. For a while I tried to where a shawl when I went there to better be able to hug myself, but I haven't the panache to carry off a shawl.
I sure would like to curl up at his feet with my head on his knee. That's always my therapy fantasy. Fortunately, I don't have the fantasy while I'm actually there. So I'm guessing that it symbolizes the way he makes therapy feel for me, rather than a literal desire to curl up at his feet.
Posted by shortelise on September 8, 2004, at 14:46:20
In reply to Re: My cushion, posted by Dinah on September 8, 2004, at 14:35:44
I do take my shoes off. And I sit curled, or sitting with my back to one arm of the couch, my feet to the other. Or with my feet on the floor. I have to be physically comfortable, and I decided from the beginning that I'd leave my body language to say what it would.
ShortE
Posted by Susan47 on September 8, 2004, at 15:29:02
In reply to Re: My cushion, posted by gardenergirl on September 8, 2004, at 9:42:50
GG, The reason I didn't bring in a cushion or a teddybear or something like that is because I was afraid of my T's interpretation of that. Especially if it were a cushion. Would he think I was trying to get sexual? Argh.
Posted by gardenergirl on September 8, 2004, at 15:41:46
In reply to Re: My cushion, posted by Susan47 on September 8, 2004, at 15:29:02
> GG, The reason I didn't bring in a cushion or a teddybear or something like that is because I was afraid of my T's interpretation of that. Especially if it were a cushion. Would he think I was trying to get sexual? Argh.
Wow, isn't it interesting how we all view things differently based on our own experiences and psyches? I never once thought of anything sexual about a cushion. I was more concerned that he would think I was being spiteful or something by not requesting his. Kind of rebellious, like, "I can take care of myself, thank you very much." Although now that I think of it, like Dinah said, hugging a shared throw or pillow to me is kind of icky...
gg
Posted by Susan47 on September 8, 2004, at 21:00:16
In reply to Re: My cushion » Susan47, posted by gardenergirl on September 8, 2004, at 15:41:46
It is funny that I would never have thought of the "I can take care of myself" interpretation of holding the cushion! Yes it all really is a personal filter isn't it. Whew hoo.
Posted by gardenergirl on September 8, 2004, at 21:28:23
In reply to Re: My cushion » gardenergirl, posted by Susan47 on September 8, 2004, at 21:00:16
I think my worry is from the fact that when I mentioned that I wish he had cushions and then he said he DID have them, he never offered me one. I was kind of put off by that. But then we have talked in the past about how I don't make myself "at home" in his office. Well, it's HIS office. I was brought up to respect that. sigh. So if I brought my own in, it would just feed into that I am uncomfortable messing with his stuff. This all came from a coaster incident, of all things! Darned sweaty pop cans!
gg
Posted by Susan47 on September 8, 2004, at 22:54:24
In reply to Re: My cushion » Susan47, posted by gardenergirl on September 8, 2004, at 21:28:23
had cushions wouldn't the obvious reply be "I do; would you like one?" rather than just "I do"? It just seems a bit insensitive for him not to have clued in.
Posted by shortelise on September 8, 2004, at 23:34:04
In reply to Re: My cushion » Susan47, posted by gardenergirl on September 8, 2004, at 21:28:23
Well, I would say it's another lesson from the "You have to ask for what you want or you don't get it" school.
ShortE
Posted by shortelise on September 8, 2004, at 23:37:10
In reply to Re: My cushion, posted by Susan47 on September 8, 2004, at 15:29:02
Sexual? My cushion is sexual? It could be seen as sexual?
Keep this up - I could be in therapy for a long, long time.
ShortE (who does sometimes regret her sense of humour)
Posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 0:21:11
In reply to sexual cushion » Susan47, posted by shortelise on September 8, 2004, at 23:37:10
Well gosh not necessarily. Gee, I mean, it would depend on your therapist's interpretation wouldn't it? LOL
Posted by fallsfall on September 9, 2004, at 8:28:34
In reply to Re: sexual cushion » shortelise, posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 0:21:11
I would hope that it would depend more on *you* than your therapist's interpretation (which can, well maybe once in 100 years..., be wrong).
Posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 11:24:37
In reply to Re: sexual cushion » Susan47, posted by fallsfall on September 9, 2004, at 8:28:34
Yes, I agree.
Posted by shortelise on September 9, 2004, at 12:03:48
In reply to Re: sexual cushion » shortelise, posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 0:21:11
LOL Susan
Posted by shortelise on September 9, 2004, at 12:05:14
In reply to Re: sexual cushion » Susan47, posted by fallsfall on September 9, 2004, at 8:28:34
Yeah, yeah ... we were just having a bit of, y'know, fun.
ShortE
Posted by allisonf on September 9, 2004, at 16:08:16
In reply to Re: sexual cushion » fallsfall, posted by shortelise on September 9, 2004, at 12:05:14
You guys are too funny about the sexual cushion! LOL.
My therapist has very scratchy new pillows for her waiting room and I hate them. She has an old kind of uncomfortable couch to sit on. I always wish I could do the curl up with no shoes on thing, but like Dinah, I can't imagine how my therapist would look at me. I think since she sits with her legs crossed or feet on the floor, I should do the same. Well, that's what I naturally end up doing.
Posted by Susan47 on September 9, 2004, at 16:15:31
In reply to Re: sexual cushion, posted by allisonf on September 9, 2004, at 16:08:16
I used to sit any way I darn pleased and I got some curious looks from my therapist. I like to put my feet up near the rest of me: I like to curl.
Posted by crushedout on September 9, 2004, at 23:02:38
In reply to how do you sit in therapy?, posted by shortelise on September 8, 2004, at 14:46:20
I've taken my shoes off and kind of crossed my legs on the couch or tucked my feet under me a few times, but I usually feel too self-conscious to do that. The whole process of taking off my shoes makes me very uncomfortable, almost like i'm doing a striptease (i know that must sound silly).
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