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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by thewriteone on February 3, 2004, at 3:51:23
Well, I went in kind of telling myself that I had to keep it together. I took in a card for my T that I had written out prior. There were some things I wanted to say to her that I thought I'd better write down. The previous week I became overcome with emotion and thus became a stuttering idiot. I didn't want to repeat that on my last session with her.
I drove right in talking about this dream I had this morning, which I found disturbing, but at the same time I was just trying to not think about the fact that I wouldn't be in that room again. After we talked about my dream, it got quiet and that's when I lost it. I couldn't stop crying and she just looked at me all pitiful-like. I found myself really angry with her because the separation wasn't affecting her the same way, or at least not to me. She asked me what I was feeling and I just told her I was angry. She asked me if it had to do with her and I said, "yes." She wanted me to explain it, but I refused. She asked me to please not leave that way. I couldn't speak. I tried several times, but I just couldn't speak. I stopped myself and took several long deep breaths and was able to regain my composure to some degree. I explained why I felt angry and she assured me that she was attached to me, too, and that she just expressed it differently. I still don't know if I believe her, but I'm glad she said that.
The end came and she told me she was going to miss me and she hugged me for a long time. This was one of the most painful things I've ever experienced, but I'm glad it's over. I know I'm not done grieving this loss, but I at least feel like I'll be able to get through it now.
Posted by Elle2021 on February 3, 2004, at 6:23:19
In reply to How my last session went..., posted by thewriteone on February 3, 2004, at 3:51:23
Sorry that was so rough on you. Did you stop therapy because you were finished or did it have something to do with insurance?
Elle
Posted by lookdownfish on February 3, 2004, at 6:34:41
In reply to How my last session went..., posted by thewriteone on February 3, 2004, at 3:51:23
well done for getting through it. i can only imagine how hard that must have been. i hope you can hang on to all the good things you learnt from this relationship.
Posted by gardenergirl on February 3, 2004, at 7:31:10
In reply to Re: How my last session went... » thewriteone, posted by lookdownfish on February 3, 2004, at 6:34:41
That sounds like it was really intense and really difficult. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm not sure there is ever a satisfying "goodbye" as it is always a loss of some kind.
I know you know this, but please take extra special care of yourself.
(((thewriteone)))
gg
Posted by Speaker on February 3, 2004, at 7:43:53
In reply to Re: How my last session went..., posted by gardenergirl on February 3, 2004, at 7:31:10
I'm glad for you that you were able to take the card in and express to your T how you felt. It was great that you shared how hurt you were that she didn't seem as bothered...but remember she is trained to stay non-emotional so she can help you through your struggle. You never know she may have lost sleep or fell apart after you left. I'm sure she will miss you. Last week I had to call my former T about ins. and the first thing he said was "I miss you"...it made me feel good as I felt much like you in the fact that it seemed to bother me much worse than him and it was his fault we had to quit. Take good care of you...and remember grieving is a natural and healthy process.
Posted by Crooked Heart on February 3, 2004, at 15:48:58
In reply to How my last session went..., posted by thewriteone on February 3, 2004, at 3:51:23
That was so hard for you. I'm glad that you could let your therapist know about your sorrow and anger, and it's good to know that you feel that you can get through it.
The good things that you got from your therapy will remain, and grow.
Thinking of you. (((thewriteone)))
Posted by Crooked Heart on February 4, 2004, at 3:10:11
In reply to How my last session went..., posted by thewriteone on February 3, 2004, at 3:51:23
Posted by thewriteone on February 4, 2004, at 16:07:46
In reply to Re: How my last session went... » thewriteone, posted by Crooked Heart on February 3, 2004, at 15:48:58
Thanks to everyone for your support.
Buying houses is tricky. We've been delayed once again. I don't think it's going to be for that long, so I'm just going to let it go. I already said "goodbye" to my T, so I'd feel like an idiot going back to her now, and anyway, like I said I don't think it's for that long. I also want to use this opportunity to see how I feel not going to therapy for awhile. I've already accepted this is how it's going to be. Besides, I'd have to take a break pretty soon anyway 'cause I'm having a baby in about a month.
Sorry, I kinda went off on a tangent, but my point was, thanks for your support. I think that made it easier to make a clean break, even if just knowing others had made it through the process.
Posted by Crooked Heart on February 6, 2004, at 4:05:03
In reply to Re: How my last session went..., posted by thewriteone on February 4, 2004, at 16:07:46
It sounds like you're in for a busy time! Congratulations about the baby :)
Good wishes for all your endeavours!
This is the end of the thread.
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