![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fuzzymind on January 8, 2003, at 12:15:15
Freshman year in HS, my desk was next to a jewish guy in geometry clss. I aced a test ,and he got a C. He saw my paper, and he started teasing me. This went on for the rest of the year. This is one of the 2 Jewish assholes who heckled me during a speech . I tried to slit my wrists when I didn't want to give the speech, but my parents never got me help and sent me to school the next day. That is when the heckling happened. If my desk wasnt' next to his guy, I wonder if my high school experinece would be differeent. I was new to the area and I didn't knwo anyone, but my chacnes were spoiled.
Freshman year of college, I was roomed with an abusive football player at an Ivy League school. Alwasy criticizing me, directing angry outburts at me. He used to use the N word all the time .The worst thing was that this guy was very good looking and extremely popular with women expecially. ANything I liked, whether it was a rock group, or sports franchise, he would criticize and yell at me about it. One time I was talking to a friend of his about backetball, and he got real angry and started yelling at me. Many more examples. Called me slant eyes, dog eater. Yelled at me that my mother didn't love me enough to write me or send me packages ,which was not true. But I still stew and am enraged with flashbacks 15 years later, even though those things he said wasn't true. A big part of social anxiety is the unreasonable fear of criticism in social situations? What if the fears are true. These things aren't in my head. They occur for real. Abusive jerks really do come after me. The worst was living with one for an entire year!!!! I couldn't enjoy myself at all..anytime I made it known I liked something, he would criticize me. I very much would like to kill him and his family.
Junior year, next door neighbor made many negative remarks about me...being hypersensitive, depressed and suicidal, I felt worse about myself.I knew this pattern would follow me the rest of my life, so I dropped out of life.
Therapy, medication, self help books, unleashing on forums hasn't worked. If only my parents had intervened when I slit my wrists in the bathtub 18 years ago.
Posted by justyourlaugh on January 8, 2003, at 13:30:18
In reply to Extremely bad luck with people, posted by fuzzymind on January 8, 2003, at 12:15:15
fuzzy-
i know i doesnt help to say yuo are not alone hun,
but you are not.
alot of us are connected because we have been through alot of the same pain.
school was a melting pot of horrible selfish people for me too...
i wonder why my parents did not get me the help the doctors suggested when i was a teen aswell
jyl
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on January 8, 2003, at 15:20:29
In reply to Extremely bad luck with people, posted by fuzzymind on January 8, 2003, at 12:15:15
> Junior year, next door neighbor made many negative remarks about me...being hypersensitive, depressed and suicidal, I felt worse about myself.I knew this pattern would follow me the rest of my life, so I dropped out of life.
-------------It sounds like bullies have really made your life a misery. Sadly, the world will always contain such people. The only real way to deal with such people is to have an accurate preception of them and of yourself. What is it about bullying that bothers you the most? Is it that you value the particular bully's opinion, and want their approval? Is it the things that they say to you, and not so much the bully themself? Is it that other people witness it, and you don't want them to think less of you? Is it the simple fact that you can't stop them? It's important to figure out why this has affected you so.
It's invaluable to understand the mind of the bully. There's no denying that it hurts when people say bad things about you, but it's important to consider the source and the situation. Consider the opposite situation... What if you'd had a roommate who complimented you on every single thing you did and thought? It might sound ideal, but try to imagine hearing about how great you were day in and day out. Would you put a lot of emotional weight behind what they were telling you? Would you believe them? Feel like a king? For most people, it would become annoying. The situation isn't much different, logically, than being criticized constantly. Someone is continually telling you what you're worth. The difference is that you're much more accepting of the idea that you're flawed, and criticism will always galvanize you in that belief.> Therapy, medication, self help books, unleashing on forums hasn't worked. If only my parents had intervened when I slit my wrists in the bathtub 18 years ago.
----------I don't know your parents, but it's not surprising that they didn't intervene. Most parents don't have a clue what their kids feel or value from day to day. Given the parenting I've seen, I'm inclined to think that any parents that don't actively abuse you are better than average. Parents also have their own agenda for their kids that they feel will result in the best life for them. By this, I mean that they want what would be best for *them* if they were in your situation, because people usually think of everything in terms of themselves (it makes sense. What other experience does one have to inferr from?).
If therapy, medications, and meditation haven't helped, there was probably something missing from them. Your root problems weren't being addressed. What you need is to believe differently about yourself, which is hard to do. If you believe that you're worthless, I wouldn't expect you to think otherwise without proof. The problem then, in broader terms, may be that you overlook or ignore such proof every day. The fact that you've been a perfectionist means that you give less credit to your own accomplishments than you would if your bully roommate had done the same thing. By definition, you'll never get anything perfect. You can do things well, though, like your good grades. They may not have impressed you, but I'm sure they were better than the majority of other students. If you find one thing about yourself to be proud of, own that pride, then identify another thing, and on and on, you'll have a more accurate take on yourself. You'll know when someone's comments about you, flattering or critical, are true or not. For that matter, look at the source of a comment. Is that person often wrong about non-fuzzymind related issues? Would you want to claim responsibility for what they say on a daily basis? If not, they're probably no better at understanding you than they are at understanding the rest of the world.
It's hard to give yourself credit if you're not used to it. It certainly doesn't come naturally. You have to work at it, but the results are worth it. Ultimately, you're the only one who's looking out for you. Think of yourself as a project that you work on every day. Evaluate what you dislike about yourself, winnow out anything that you would consider a subjective opinion for someone else to have about themselves and work on improving anything tangible (physical form, clothing, behaviors that hinder you). Somewhere along the line you've taken a long detour away from feeling good about yourself, and your brain has learned incorrectly, formed the wrong connections, which is why you think the way you do. It took a long time to get this way, and will probably take just as long to "unlearn." Still, it can be done and you can do it. Get behind the home team for a change. What do you have to lose?
Posted by fuzzymind on January 8, 2003, at 19:25:49
In reply to Re: Extremely bad luck with people » fuzzymind, posted by Eddie Sylvano on January 8, 2003, at 15:20:29
> It sounds like bullies have really made your life a misery. Sadly, the world will always contain such people. The only real way to deal with such people is to have an accurate preception of them and of yourself. What is it about bullying that bothers you the most? Is it that you value the particular bully's opinion, and want their approval? Is it the things that they say to you, and not so much the bully themself? Is it that other people witness it, and you don't want them to think less of you? Is it the simple fact that you can't stop them? It's important to figure out why this has affected you so.
Other people witnessing it a a biggie. I am festering with revenge, so I guess I am very angry that I never did anything to fight back effectively, or never told them to leave me alone. I wasn't forceful enough. I was an emotional punching bag.
> It's invaluable to understand the mind of the bully. There's no denying that it hurts when people say bad things about you, but it's important to consider the source and the situation. Consider the opposite situation... What if you'd had a roommate who complimented you on every single thing you did and thought? It might sound ideal, but try to imagine hearing about how great you were day in and day out. Would you put a lot of emotional weight behind what they were telling you? Would you believe them? Feel like a king? For most people, it would become annoying. The situation isn't much different, logically, than being criticized constantly. Someone is continually telling you what you're worth. The difference is that you're much more accepting of the idea that you're flawed, and criticism will always galvanize you in that belief.
>I have considered their viewpoint. Jealousy, racism, seeing me as aweak prey on which to unload...an emotional punching bag. That jewish guy who was my only so called friend had a father who degraded and belittled him....like father like son. He would show me all the autographs in his yearbook and laugh at me. I know he was insecure, and had a neeed to dominate and criticiz me to feel better about his own loneliness and obtain powere for himself at his own expense. My anger comes from not beating him up, or just ignoring him, but I was so lonely, I didn't have anyone else to talk to. What also angers me, is that his predictive powers were accurate. Because of jelousy, he would put down my academic achievements and tell me the only reason I got into college was becasue of affirmative action. "They let a lot of you Orientals into Ivy League Schools becausee they have to fill their quotas"I got straight A's and almost 1500 on the SAT,s but he was telling me this bullshit.I was always a perfectionist, like him, and I was very insecure about my achievement because I didn't have social skills, and I had only one meaningful extracurricular activity. Becasue I didn't have a ton of friends or extracurriculars, I felt like a loser. What makes me so angry that this vermin could exploit evey insecurity in me.
I made the mistake of telling him one day that I didn't want to go on a school sponsored band trip becaseu I didn't know anyone. Well He convinced me to go, then spent the entire trip abusing me. On the bus, he wouldn't let purposely took up all the space with his legs , said "that is stupid' or "you look stupid" to everything I said or to anything I wore. Spent tothe entire trip to Canada like this...constatnly criticizing me. I am so angry I didn't have the guts to get an airplane back home when we reached our destination. At the destination, he then told me how he would become successful and his life calling , making lots of money like a greedy jew, was better than my life calling.Sorry, but that is what he is ..a moeny worshipping abusive jew. I am a racist myself I guess. I was trapped, but looking back, I was so angry I didn't just leave him there and go back home on an airplane. Maybe I shold have punched him. Why was I such a coward? Nazi boy had me over a barrel, he knew it, and he knew becasue I was so lonely and he was my only "friend" that I wouldn't sever contact with thim. I am so fucking angry I told my abuser that I was lonely and didn't know anyone. Can you beleive I did that? Yes...what a pathetic moron.
Now this guy is a wealthy investment banker, and I am nothing. I have seen this guy on tv while watching Mets and Knicks games because he has box seats and very good seats at Madison Square Garden.
You wanted to know why the bullying hurt me? Since I relive these incidents over and over again, and want to rescript what happened, I think it is because I wasn't "cool" enough to prevent him from saying these things in the first place, or when he did, I was able to nip it in the bud and just beat up this guy. Or just hang up the phone when he called me and wanted to criticze me, or ignore him completely, or tell him he was an abusive bully. Thoses words referring to him..abusive bully, didn't come to mind all those years ago. I only thought of associating words like that to him only a couple of years ago. Even though there wasn' physical violence, I believe I have PTSD. At the time these events happened, I didn't feel this anger...I was numb with depression and anxiety. I think it is called dissociation.Not entirely sure, but the depression acted as a shield. THese feelings of intense anger didn't surface until about 1 or 2 years after I dropped out of life. During college, I was busy studying and planning sucide...lol . They got a little more intense gradually, then really came out during therapy. My therapist unleashed a lot of bad memories and anger, but didn't now how to properly control them.
Your point about positive feedback is very interesting. I read something similar in Dr Burns' book Feeling Good. He posed the hypothetical of whether one would take the opinion ofa patient at a mental hospital seriouly if he told you that you were no good. Well the answer should be no, but for me it would be yes. I remeber in college , when I would walk down the street, sometimes homeless people would make remarks to me or a spanish guy would mutter chinko, or other students would mutter chink as I passed them by. I didn't know these people, but I was hurt by their remarks. I am desperate need of approval . Negative remarks by people I don't like hurt me when for a normal person, they should not. Why is this? A homless guy calling me a dork affects me, a group of black teenagers making racist mimicking sounds toward me, etc. It all comes down to me. I am seriouly considering going to my local Holoaust remebrance center, and trying to locate a Holocaust victim to find out how they were able to mentally survive their abuses.
I am also angry at myself for not figuring out I was depressed in college. DUh....I attempted sucide, wished I were dead all the time ,b ut didn't know I was depressed. The stigma against psychiatry is so strong, even someone who is desperate for help wouldn't evene consider it.
I only heard negative things
> > Therapy, medication, self help books, unleashing on forums hasn't worked. If only my parents had intervened when I slit my wrists in the bathtub 18 years ago.
> ----------
>
> I don't know your parents, but it's not surprising that they didn't intervene. Most parents don't have a clue what their kids feel or value from day to day. Given the parenting I've seen, I'm inclined to think that any parents that don't actively abuse you are better than average. Parents also have their own agenda for their kids that they feel will result in the best life for them. By this, I mean that they want what would be best for *them* if they were in your situation, because people usually think of everything in terms of themselves (it makes sense. What other experience does one have to inferr from?).
> If therapy, medications, and meditation haven't helped, there was probably something missing from them. Your root problems weren't being addressed. What you need is to believe differently about yourself, which is hard to do. If you believe that you're worthless, I wouldn't expect you to think otherwise without proof. The problem then, in broader terms, may be that you overlook or ignore such proof every day. The fact that you've been a perfectionist means that you give less credit to your own accomplishments than you would if your bully roommate had done the same thing. By definition, you'll never get anything perfect. You can do things well, though, like your good grades. They may not have impressed you, but I'm sure they were better than the majority of other students. If you find one thing about yourself to be proud of, own that pride, then identify another thing, and on and on, you'll have a more accurate take on yourself. You'll know when someone's comments about you, flattering or critical, are true or not. For that matter, look at the source of a comment. Is that person often wrong about non-fuzzymind related issues? Would you want to claim responsibility for what they say on a daily basis? If not, they're probably no better at understanding you than they are at understanding the rest of the world.
> It's hard to give yourself credit if you're not used to it. It certainly doesn't come naturally. You have to work at it, but the results are worth it. Ultimately, you're the only one who's looking out for you. Think of yourself as a project that you work on every day. Evaluate what you dislike about yourself, winnow out anything that you would consider a subjective opinion for someone else to have about themselves and work on improving anything tangible (physical form, clothing, behaviors that hinder you). Somewhere along the line you've taken a long detour away from feeling good about yourself, and your brain has learned incorrectly, formed the wrong connections, which is why you think the way you do. It took a long time to get this way, and will probably take just as long to "unlearn." Still, it can be done and you can do it. Get behind the home team for a change. What do you have to lose?
SOunds like a good plan. Extremely difficult to try. Been trying to talk back to negative thoughts, but the negative thoughts always win out. The bigget problem is that I don't have a medical degree or any other degree and a high paying job that goes with it. If I had a job, then I could work through this much easier. The examples given in Dr Burns Feeeling Good book are people who are in relationships, have very high paying jobs(DR Burns seems to relish in showing everyone how much money his patients make), or successful professionally. Wel I don't have that, and not having that is a big problem because I am Asian and Asians have one thing they can rely on to get ahead in life...education...which leads to good jobs. Also, I am a 33 year old virgin, never even kissed a woman or gone out on a date. Women never paid attention to me. well except to yell at me when I said hi to them...lol...no kidding...that actually happened in high school. If I were white..I am absolutely sure my thinkg would be different. But the problem is that according to a recent poll, I think around 40 percent, amaybe it was only 25 percent, but I am certain it is 40 percent of Americans don't like Asians.I am feeling a little better and plenty of what you say is in Burns' book...cognitive behavioral therapy. Too bad his website feeling good.com hasn't been updated since sept 2001.
I need around the clock interaction in some kind of treatment facility. a twice a week session with a therapist who has 40 patients a week is not the answer. I wish there were University sponsored research programs where someon like me could live there, with food and rent paid for by grants or such, and could recieve intense round the clock cognitive behavioral therapy. I don't really want to die,,,but I feel I have no choice if I don't imoprove soon.
Posted by Dinah on January 9, 2003, at 8:39:02
In reply to Re: Extremely bad luck with people, posted by fuzzymind on January 8, 2003, at 19:25:49
> At the destination, he then told me how he would become successful and his life calling , making lots of money like a greedy jew, was better than my life calling.Sorry, but that is what he is ..a moeny worshipping abusive jew. I am a racist myself I guess.
I just wanted to state that racism and racist statements make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I hope you understand that racist statements about Asians would make me feel just as uncomfortable. Perhaps you did not mean this in a racist way, although you directly follow your comment with an admission that you are racist yourself.
Can't you just say he was a greedy person? A money worshipping greedy person? Is his ethnicity of any importance whatsoever? The vast majority of the Jewish people are not greedy. The Jewish obligation of tzedaka has led religious Jews to wonderful acts of philanthropy.
I've never quite understood racism. It always seems to me that individual persons give you plenty enough reason to dislike them. The person who beats his spouse, the person who drives with no regard for others, the person who is rude to store clerks or wait staff. Why is it necessary to dislike a whole group of people?
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on January 9, 2003, at 10:48:50
In reply to Re: Extremely bad luck with people, posted by fuzzymind on January 8, 2003, at 19:25:49
>I am very angry that I never did anything to fight back effectively, or never told them to leave me alone.
>My anger comes from not beating him up
>Maybe I shold have punched him. Why was I such a coward?
----------------You obviously hate this guy, and who could blame you? It amazes me that someone could make it to a good college and still be such a moron as your former roommate. Clearly, it also bothers you that you never stood up for yourself. I think that's probably a good thing at heart. People should defend or remove themselves from abuse. The fact that you didn't way back then shouldn't dominate you so much today, though. It's long over, and I'm sure that guy doesn't even think about those days anymore. Actually, if he's as much of an ass as you've described, I can't imagine that he's particularly happy nowadays, box seats or no.
If your past tolerance in the face of abuse is bothering you, maybe you could try taking up a self-defense program of some kind, and rebuilding your assertive skills and image of yourself as a capable, powerful person.>I remeber in college , when I would walk down the street, sometimes homeless people would make remarks to me or a spanish guy would mutter chinko, or other students would mutter chink as I passed them by. I didn't know these people, but I was hurt by their remarks.
---------------That's so bizzare. What part of the country was this in? I've met some racist people in my day, but I've never known anyone who was genuinely upset about asians (unless they were other asians from a different asian country. go figure.). It's probably just the fact that you're different in some way, and it gave them something to focus on, like if you had a lot of freckles or were too skinny.
I also have to second what Dinah said. Associating someone's race with their personality traits isn't an accurate or useful way to predict people's behavior (and it tends to upset people). If someone's an idiot, they're just an idiot, race be damned.I am desperate need of approval . Negative remarks by people I don't like hurt me when for a normal person, they should not. Why is this?
----------------It sounds like the people in your earlier life (parents, roommate) didn't give you much approval, so it's reasonable that you'd feel that way. Ideally, you'd have Jesus (or whoever) as a roommate and endlessly loving, supportive parents. A fair amount of our ease in life seems to be luck of the draw. I had a raging freak of a father and half-assed friends in school who would turn on me in a heartbeat if it bought them a second's attention from popular kids. I could fill pages with school stories of being dumped in a trash can, having food smashed in my face, being ridiculed to tears in public, etc. In my case, I was certainly white, but was skinny and wore glasses. Anything that stands out in school gets smashed flat.
> SOunds like a good plan. Extremely difficult to try. Been trying to talk back to negative thoughts, but the negative thoughts always win out.
-------------It's very hard. You have to use a brain that is wired to think negatively, and manage to maintain a trend towards positivity. It's like trying to train an old dog from the pound to ride a skateboard. It's difficult, but it can be done.
>The bigget problem is that I don't have a medical degree or any other degree and a high paying job that goes with it. If I had a job, then I could work through this much easier.
-----------------Well, you need money to live, but beyond a certain amount, your life doesn't really get any better. It's never too late to change careers, too. I'm 30, but I'm going back to school this fall to take pre-med classes. You've already got a bachelor's. You could probably get a master's degree fairly quickly and get into a new career, if that's what you really want.
>The examples given in Dr Burns Feeeling Good book are people who are in relationships, have very high paying jobs(DR Burns seems to relish in showing everyone how much money his patients make), or successful professionally.
--------------I've never read that one. Maybe he thinks that people won't want to emulate the patients in his book if they're depicted as failures? Women in Tupperware commercials always look like models, too.
>Also, I am a 33 year old virgin, never even kissed a woman or gone out on a date.
--------------Men get the difficult role of being the ones to approach women, so nothing will likely happen unless you start asking. I got married at 19, and after I got divorced, I had no clue how to date, so I tried an Internet dating service (match.com). It was helpful, getting me to go on several dates and familiarizing me with how the process works. It made me more comfortable around women, and confident enough to start asking other women out. Once you can get to that point, things seem to be much easier.
>Women never paid attention to me. well except to yell at me when I said hi to them...lol...no kidding...that actually happened in high school.
------------Yeah. I never even bothered asking out any girls in school. None of them seemed even remotely receptive. School is a whole different world than adulthood, though. Priorities change with circumstances.
>If I were white..I am absolutely sure my thinkg would be different. But the problem is that according to a recent poll, I think around 40 percent, amaybe it was only 25 percent, but I am certain it is 40 percent of Americans don't like Asians.
--------------If that's true, I'm surprised to hear that. What's everyone's problem with Asians? I've known several over the years (Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Laosian) and they've all been intelligent, interesting people. Still, stupid people are always going to hate anyone that they can't identify with. I wouldn't dwell on it.
For that matter, I'm sure that the easy majority of people on this board are white, and it hasn't helped ameliorate their mental health problems.
> I need around the clock interaction in some kind of treatment facility.
-------------------You can get that if you need it. I think you could probably manage to improve largely on your own, or maybe with the help of a supportive friend or two. You just need to make an effort to get unstuck from the rut you're in, and you'll find that each success you achieve will pave the way for the next. Medications helped me to get a reprieve from the kind of thoughts that dominated my mind for years, and begin laying down a better self concept that I'm still working on daily. It's like taking diet pills to jump start you into a weight loss regimen. Eventually, the progress you see becomes a reward and incentive for trying harder, and a new cycle is started that is the opposite of the one you've been on.
Anyway, sorry to ramble on for so long. Hope I haven't been to preachy about things.
Posted by JenR on January 12, 2003, at 22:03:47
In reply to Extremely bad luck with people, posted by fuzzymind on January 8, 2003, at 12:15:15
The third time by my count.
Does "please be civil" not apply to anti-Semitism on here?
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 13, 2003, at 3:19:05
In reply to More anti-Semitism from this person AGAIN, posted by JenR on January 12, 2003, at 22:03:47
> The third time by my count.
> Does "please be civil" not apply to anti-Semitism on here?
>I'd like follow-ups regarding posting policies and complaints about posts to be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20021128/msgs/8766.html
Bob
Posted by oracle on January 13, 2003, at 11:14:17
In reply to Re: Extremely bad luck with people » fuzzymind, posted by Eddie Sylvano on January 9, 2003, at 10:48:50
> >I am very angry that I never did anything to fight back effectively, or never told them to leave me alone.
I do not see this as "bad luck". You sound like
a professional victim. You are used to being put
down, so now people seek you out to do this. It is a 2 way street and you need to take up your part in not being victimized.
Posted by oracle on January 13, 2003, at 13:07:22
In reply to Extremely bad luck with people, posted by fuzzymind on January 8, 2003, at 12:15:15
> Therapy, medication, self help books, unleashing on forums hasn't worked. If only my parents had intervened when I slit my wrists in the bathtub 18 years ago.
If only, but they did not. So now it is up to you.
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 15, 2003, at 18:47:39
In reply to Re: Extremely bad luck with people, posted by fuzzymind on January 8, 2003, at 19:25:49
> At the destination, he then told me how he would become successful and his life calling , making lots of money like a greedy jew, was better than my life calling.Sorry, but that is what he is ..a moeny worshipping abusive jew. I am a racist myself I guess.
Please be sensitive to the feelings of others and don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
I realize you were bullied yourself, and I'd like you to be able to be supported here, but I don't think an open community like this is the place to deal with angry feelings about a particular group of people -- because this community may include members of that group.
You're welcome to continue to post if you do so civilly. Remember, too, that in therapy you should be able to express yourself more freely than here. Best wishes,
Bob
PS: I'd like follow-ups regarding posting policies and complaints about posts to continue to be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. Here's another link:
Posted by yaya on January 21, 2003, at 7:03:33
In reply to Extremely bad luck with people, posted by fuzzymind on January 8, 2003, at 12:15:15
Have you considered that your parents reaction (or lack of) is cultural? Asian people of previous generations seem very stoic. There is not much physical attention shown and way too much pride. I've always thought that had my mother (who is Japanese) raised me in Japan, things might have been more accepted by me. But trying to raise me here in the US led to many conflicts for us.
Posted by fuzzymind on February 16, 2003, at 0:10:43
In reply to Re: Extremely bad luck with people, posted by yaya on January 21, 2003, at 7:03:33
> Have you considered that your parents reaction (or lack of) is cultural? Asian people of previous generations seem very stoic. There is not much physical attention shown and way too much pride. I've always thought that had my mother (who is Japanese) raised me in Japan, things might have been more accepted by me. But trying to raise me here in the US led to many conflicts for us.
>
>Unfortunatelyly yes. doing a bit of internet research, there is a specific term, which I forget, which describes how Koreans view mental illness. Huge stigma. I have an aunt living in Korea who went through a very tough divorce, and her husband took her kids with them long ago. SHe screams out loud and talks to herself. SOmething is definately wrong with her, ubt no one gets her any help, despit all my cousins, second cousins, and another aunt being doctors.
When I went for an evaluation some years ago, the evaluator pointed out that my parents' culture, and saving face was the reason why my parents didn't get me any help. He was right, but at the time, I thought he was being a jerk.I was wondering if it was in the jewish culture to abuse and bully people? Sure seemed that way. Jenr? I know you hate my guts, but is there some truth to that?
Posted by noa on February 16, 2003, at 19:07:08
In reply to Re: Extremely bad luck with people, posted by fuzzymind on February 16, 2003, at 0:10:43
>>I was wondering if it was in the jewish culture to abuse and bully people? Sure seemed that way. Jenr? I know you hate my guts, but is there some truth to that?
Fuzzymind--Absolutely NOT!
I find this statement extremely hurtful. YOu have no idea how personally offended I am by it. Please do not say things like that.
Posted by Dinah on February 16, 2003, at 22:43:13
In reply to Re: Extremely bad luck with people, posted by fuzzymind on February 16, 2003, at 0:10:43
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 17, 2003, at 11:40:57
In reply to Re: Extremely bad luck with people, posted by fuzzymind on February 16, 2003, at 0:10:43
> Have you considered that your parents reaction (or lack of) is cultural?
>
> yaya> I was wondering if it was in the jewish culture to abuse and bully people?
>
> fuzzymindPlease be sensitive to the feelings of others and don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down, thanks.
> Jenr? I know you hate my guts
Also, please don't jump to conclusions about others.
Bob
PS: Follow-ups regarding posting policies, and complaints about posts, should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20021128/msgs/201006.html
Otherwise, they may be deleted...
Posted by IsoM on February 18, 2003, at 12:15:12
In reply to Re: please be civil » yaya » fuzzymind, posted by Dr. Bob on February 17, 2003, at 11:40:57
Yaya, all the posts have been redirected to PB Admin. I really thought my answers to you were okay for this board as it was about support & the psychological ramifications of mixed race families. But anyway, here's all the posts grouped together in one. My latest reply to you is the very last part of the grouped posts.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20021128/msgs/201446.html
This is the end of the thread.
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