![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 15 to 39 of 40. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on January 1, 2003, at 19:02:01
In reply to Re: Questionnaire for rating your therapist... » Dinah, posted by mikhail99 on January 1, 2003, at 12:09:40
Thanks Mik,
I see him again on Friday. We're still on twice a week for now. I hate to mess up my relative stability.
I do laugh at him when he sounds like Stuart Smalley. That's why he doesn't do it much any more. :)
My main impression of the psychologist was the same one I get with most mental health professionals. They all manage to make my therapist look pretty good. He didn't share his impressions of her with me. I asked but didn't push.
I've tentatively asked him whether he felt qualified in my problem areas a time or two. He kind of visibly squares his shoulders and tries to act confident. He did on another occasion tell me that he worked for a while under a psychiatrist who had expertise in the area, and worked directly with it himself on an inpatient basis. If I remember the story correctly.
It doesn't really show though. Of course that might be because he's not really directive and doesn't want to influence my condition in any way. Who knows...
Posted by judy1 on January 2, 2003, at 10:57:21
In reply to Re: Questionnaire -- use with caution, posted by Noa on January 1, 2003, at 15:26:16
I had the same sort of reaction- the site was obviously written with people who had suffered false memory syndrome (and I'm sure there are many) so that skewed the efficacy of insight-oriented therapy. I answered one yes to the question concerning terminating therapy- but since I'm clearly hypomanic the majority of times I want to terminate, the question can be opened to interpretation. Anyway thanks Judy, it was interesting- I always love those surveys with their little fill-in answers :-) take care, judy
Posted by Dinah on January 2, 2003, at 12:10:40
In reply to Re: Questionnaire for rating your therapist... » mikhail99, posted by Dinah on January 1, 2003, at 11:12:06
I guess I was just surprised that you all thought your therapist wasn't confused or bewildered. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that my therapist didn't have all the answers or even a grand plan.
But I suppose I'm still angry with him for forgetting that I asked that he take steps to protect me from myself when he terminates me. He did agree to do it then completely forgot the conversation. It took a lot of courage on several levels to admit that I would need it. One, it was counterproductive in terms of accomplishing my plan, and second it admitted my degree of dependence on him. It seems a bit negligent to forget something like that. And I have no intention of mentioning it again.
So maybe my current doubts are just pique.
Posted by BeardedLady on January 2, 2003, at 12:10:53
In reply to Re: Questionnaire -- use with caution, posted by Noa on January 1, 2003, at 15:26:16
> Clearly the people who wrote the questionnaire rate cognitive-behvioral/action-oriented therapy as best.
Yes, this is true. But I guess I was excited because that's what I think is best--at least for me.
>And I'm not saying it isn't, just that we should be careful to not take this questionnaire as the final word on our therapists, and to remember that different therapy approaches work better or worse for different people.
Well, of course.
That questionnaire would have worked much better if there'd been some sort of points system. Clearly, there is something wrong with a therapist telling his client not to discuss with others what goes on during therapy. I would weigh them much more heavily than I would the more innocuous questions.
I wonder how Freud would have held up under this test!
beardy : )>
Posted by waterlily on January 2, 2003, at 15:07:03
In reply to Questionnaire for rating your therapist..., posted by IsoM on December 31, 2002, at 22:49:01
I had four very shaky 'yes' answers and one very definite 'yes' (the one about having a set plan for the session). My therapist does more of a psychodynamic therapy which suits me just fine.
Regarding the length of time needed for therapy, here's a quote from "How Psychotherapy Really Works, Why it Works When it Works, and Why Sometimes It Doesn't" by Willard - - -lin, M.D. (My computer won't let me write the first three letters of the last name because of the child protection software - Insert a word that starts with "g" and means happy or two men who like each other a lot. Also, I'm not linking it to Amazon.com because I'm a rebel ;o)): "The often interminable time spent in therapy is explained by the fact that change demands not just knowledge of the unconscious; not just knowledge that we are the authors of our own misery; not just knowledge of the unconscious ways in which we manipulate the environment to conform to out preconceived notions of what we are; not just knowledge....To undo the powerful perceptions infused into the very substance of our identity during the critical formative years of childhood requires our going beyond the limits of knowledge." It goes on to chapters entitled "The Therapeutic Alliance" which describes how the unique relationship with your therapist helps to change you, "The Corrective Emotional Experience", and "Advice, Counseling, and Values". Basically, your feelings and emotions have to change in addition to gaining knowledge and that takes a bit of time.
Posted by Dinah on January 2, 2003, at 22:46:51
In reply to Re: My therapist » Dinah, posted by Dinah on January 2, 2003, at 12:10:40
Or none they care to share anyway. I suppose it's the image of the giant breast that's putting everyone off. :) (Except the fearless Mikhail of course).
Gotta admit, I'd be unwilling to give my honest impression of someone's wet nurse. (grin)
Posted by Alii on January 2, 2003, at 23:21:19
In reply to Re: So no one has any insight?, posted by Dinah on January 2, 2003, at 22:46:51
> Or none they care to share anyway. I suppose it's the image of the giant breast that's putting everyone off. :) (Except the fearless Mikhail of course).
> Gotta admit, I'd be unwilling to give my honest impression of someone's wet nurse. (grin)Obviously I've missed a couple of posts in this thread, ahem.
But seriously....your subject line: So no one has any insight? Or none that they care to share anyway?
Please explain and I would be happy to share insight should I find any within. If found it is all yours babe. Just say the words.
Seriously and playfully,
Alii
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 1:41:33
In reply to Re: So no one has any insight? » Dinah, posted by Alii on January 2, 2003, at 23:21:19
I'm sorry Alii (and everyone). I was just feeling a bit vulnerable for overdisclosing - darn poster's remorse, so I was making a joke of it.
I guess I was just asking what people thought of a therapist who admits to having no greater insight than his client, but is willing to explore things together.
The other thing is rather obviously something wrong on his part, and so it was sort of silly to ask if it was wrong. I don't really need validation on that fact. Nor do I particularly want to hear that I should re-tell him what he forgot. I know that I should but I won't, so there's no point in thinking about it.
I'm just sort of prickly today. (Just had to apologize to my husband for a fight too.)
Posted by Noa on January 3, 2003, at 2:28:32
In reply to Re: Questionnaire for rating your therapist... » mikhail99, posted by Dinah on January 1, 2003, at 11:12:06
Hmm... I have reread your previous posts and am not sure...On the one hand, I wonder if what you are describing as confusion is similar to times when my therapist has admitted he isn't sure why I am persisting with certain behaviors, etc., which I took to be honesty rather than seeing him as confused. On the other hand, with my therapist, I still got a sense from him that he felt competent to explore it and bring his knowledge and experience to the task. And over time, this has been borne out. Are you not getting such a feeling from your therapist?
Still, I know that there are good and not so good therapists out there. A friend of mine was working with a horrible therapist who was making her rather crazy and depressed with her approach, including what I think was arrogance and a failure to acknowledge the real dynamics between them (instead, she made my friend feel she was imagining it all because of her childhood experiences. I believe her childhood experiences were a part of it, but she wasn't imagining the real dynamics in the room). Now she has a better therapist. Thank goodness, because her craziness was driving me crazy, too!
Your therapist sounds anything but arrogant, which is a plus.
As for length of treatment, some of us have more entrenched difficulties. I have been in therapy a long time, and will need to be for a long time. I change very slowly. Although CBT kinds of things make sense to me and are incorporated somewhat into my therapy (over and over again) the real CBT--short term and all--wouldn't work for me.
I have a chronic disease. Chronic diseases need ongoing care. Can you look at it this way?
Does your therapist really sound like Stuart Smalley? Yikes. Are you particulary cynical about any kind of "reframing" statements? Or does he go too quickly into the reframing and being positive without hanging with the negative long enough to help you feel he understands what your experience is like?
If you are angry about his having forgotten something important, that is definitely an issue to discuss directly. How does he handle your feelings and reactions toward him (I think that is often the key to what makes a good therapist)?
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 7:38:12
In reply to Re: Questionnaire for rating your therapist... » Dinah, posted by Noa on January 3, 2003, at 2:28:32
Thank you, Noa. You've helped put it in perspective for me. He's definitely not a bad therapist. Whenever I talk to him about something between us, he acknowledges his part, helps me see my part, and tries to change the part he needs to change. He really does like to make the Stuart Smalley statements for example. But when I laugh and point out their Stuart Smalley-ness, he'll own up.
I do see it as a chronic illness and see him as insulin, in a way. And he's really good at that. He helps me untangle my thoughts and reality check and he grounds me. He keeps me focussed on doing what I need to do. Most of all, I see him as a source of safety. For maintenance, I think he's terrific - none better.
I think he downplays the physical and cyclical nature of my illness - I don't know, maybe that's his job to help me take responsibility for my mood shifts.
I honestly do think that he has an excellent grasp on who I am, but a poor grasp on why. And I think maybe he is too scared of upsetting me to challenge me. I have talked to him about that, and he does admit it.
So overall, he's really good at maintenance and keeping me functioning at my best. He's less good at pushing me forward. I usually feel like I'm the one who's in charge of that. Maybe that's his plan. It's hard to ask, because while he always tries to be truthful with me, he's also a bit defensive.
Overall though, slowly but surely, we are progressing. I don't recognize my current day self from my year ago self. (But then again, lack of continuity of self is part of my problem. I don't think I'm the same, though.)
I think I will talk to him again about pushing me more. It does feel funny from time to time feeling like I'm in charge. I thought that *was* therapy until I saw other people's responses. Maybe that's just his theory of therapy. I'll talk to him.
But I'm not going to tell him again the thing he forgot. It took me years to screw up the courage to say it. I basically told the idiot that I was afraid I was in danger of killing myself if he terminated me, asked him to have measures in place so that I wouldn't be alone after receiving the news, we agreed on those measures, I felt relief that I was safe, and two weeks later he had forgotten the conversation. I'm not telling him that again. No way. No how. If it was hard the first time, it would be impossible to say it after he showed his lack of concern by forgetting it. Now mind you, he has no current plans of doing so and has said he won't unless he leaves private practice, but he's not the most stable guy in the world and that is not unlikely to happen.
Ugh. Sorry about this. I obviously have not yet worked through my anger.
Thanks for answering. I do feel clearer about his strengths now.
Dinah
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 8:05:49
In reply to Re: Questionnaire for rating your therapist... » Noa, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 7:38:12
Admitting my shameful secret to the world here on the board could be my way of making it less momentous, and making it more likely that one day I will again tell him.
Perhaps the part of me that thinks it is damn stupid to kill myself over a paid professional is stronger than I realize.
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 8:07:29
In reply to Re: On the other hand. » Dinah, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 8:05:49
But this time it seems curiously apropos.
Posted by mikhail99 on January 3, 2003, at 9:06:55
In reply to Re: Questionnaire for rating your therapist... » Noa, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 7:38:12
> Thank you, Noa. You've helped put it in perspective for me. He's definitely not a bad therapist. Whenever I talk to him about something between us, he acknowledges his part, helps me see my part, and tries to change the part he needs to change. He really does like to make the Stuart Smalley statements for example. But when I laugh and point out their Stuart Smalley-ness, he'll own up.
>
> I do see it as a chronic illness and see him as insulin, in a way. And he's really good at that. He helps me untangle my thoughts and reality check and he grounds me. He keeps me focussed on doing what I need to do. Most of all, I see him as a source of safety. For maintenance, I think he's terrific - none better.
>
> I think he downplays the physical and cyclical nature of my illness - I don't know, maybe that's his job to help me take responsibility for my mood shifts.That sounds like a bit of CBT, doesn't it? I can totally relate to the cyclical thing, it's just maddening. I think that it's possible to take responsibility for mood shifts but when you're feeling bottomed out, it's SO much harder to do the self-examination and the self-talk that you're supposed to do, at lease it is for me. I was having anxiety last night and it was almost impossible for me to get a grip.
>
> I honestly do think that he has an excellent grasp on who I am, but a poor grasp on why. And I think maybe he is too scared of upsetting me to challenge me. I have talked to him about that, and he does admit it.That disturbs me a bit. I think therapists need to be ready to step in and challenge us when we're not able to do so. And if he's worried about upsetting you, then he's more concerned with his own needs over yours. (I'm quoting that "In Sessions" book again, can you stand it?)
>
> So overall, he's really good at maintenance and keeping me functioning at my best. He's less good at pushing me forward. I usually feel like I'm the one who's in charge of that. Maybe that's his plan. It's hard to ask, because while he always tries to be truthful with me, he's also a bit defensive.
>
> Overall though, slowly but surely, we are progressing. I don't recognize my current day self from my year ago self. (But then again, lack of continuity of self is part of my problem. I don't think I'm the same, though.)
>
> I think I will talk to him again about pushing me more. It does feel funny from time to time feeling like I'm in charge. I thought that *was* therapy until I saw other people's responses. Maybe that's just his theory of therapy. I'll talk to him.I think HE needs to explore this bit of passivity he has when it comes to dealing with you, I'm just not sure that's appropriate but it could be I'm projecting my expectations about therapy here. I guess I'm more comfortable with someone who is definitely in charge but in a sensitive, caring way. :-D
>
> But I'm not going to tell him again the thing he forgot. It took me years to screw up the courage to say it. I basically told the idiot that I was afraid I was in danger of killing myself if he terminated me, asked him to have measures in place so that I wouldn't be alone after receiving the news, we agreed on those measures, I felt relief that I was safe, and two weeks later he had forgotten the conversation. I'm not telling him that again. No way. No how. If it was hard the first time, it would be impossible to say it after he showed his lack of concern by forgetting it. Now mind you, he has no current plans of doing so and has said he won't unless he leaves private practice, but he's not the most stable guy in the world and that is not unlikely to happen.Do you think he was so disturbed by what you said, he had to put it out of his mind? I guess that would be hard to hear but still, HE'S the therapist and is in some part, responsible for you and your health. I can see why it would be painful for you to bring it up again if he's forgotten about the incident but maybe he should know how it made you feel. It made him look very insensitive and thoughtless.
>
> Ugh. Sorry about this. I obviously have not yet worked through my anger.Don't apologize, I'd be angry too. I'm still upset by some dumb thing my therapist said weeks ago and it's nowhere near as upsetting as yours forgetting about a suicide discussion!
And one more thing, I think you can rely more on your feelings and intuitions than you give yourself credit for. I know it's hard, when our perceptions are so colored by depression, anxiety and stuff, I find it's hard to trust my perceptions but from reading your posts, I think you have a very good handle on what's going on in your sessions. (For what that's worth!)
Hang in there!
Mik
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 10:29:43
In reply to Re: Questionnaire for rating your therapist... » Dinah, posted by mikhail99 on January 3, 2003, at 9:06:55
> And one more thing, I think you can rely more on your feelings and intuitions than you give yourself credit for. I know it's hard, when our perceptions are so colored by depression, anxiety and stuff, I find it's hard to trust my perceptions but from reading your posts, I think you have a very good handle on what's going on in your sessions. (For what that's worth!)
>
It's worth a lot. Thank's Mik. Actually you may be right. One of the advantages of this board is that posting things sometimes helps me sort through them and figure things out a bit. And after I wrote what I did, I realized that he's probably stumbled onto the same approach with me that a brilliant therapist would have taken.I am unbelievably stubborn and contrary. If he pushed me or tried to make me see something, I'd probably dig my heels in and resist all the way. By making me do all the research and work myself then come into therapy and say "Hey, do you think this could be true about me and I should do this about it" and him answering something like maybe so, progress is slower but probably more lasting. I just hope that when I come in and present something he's competent to know whether or not I'm on the right track and assertive enough to say so. Sigh.
Not that I think for one single moment that he has thought this out as well as I have. Another sigh. I don't think he thinks it out at all.
And while he's not deliberately thoughtless or insensitive, he is a bit obtuse sometimes.
Posted by Alii on January 3, 2003, at 11:05:39
In reply to Re: On the other hand. » Dinah, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 8:05:49
> Admitting my shameful secret to the world here on the board could be my way of making it less momentous, and making it more likely that one day I will again tell him.
>
> Perhaps the part of me that thinks it is damn stupid to kill myself over a paid professional is stronger than I realize.Damn Dinah! You're going and making all them darn insights on your own (with some peppering here and there from other posters).
I really like what you have to say in your response to Noa after my original post in this thread about insight.
Very proud of your determinedness to keep at it DM.
Best 2003 to you sweet Dinah Marie.
~Alii
Posted by Noa on January 3, 2003, at 14:32:11
In reply to Re: Misused that Previous Poster box Again., posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 8:07:29
Yes. And I guess since you are so hurt and angry about his having forgotten this (it is hard to see how he could forget this!), it seems like the issue of his having forgotten is an issue that will need to be addressed at some point. Also, the exploration of why termination would have this impact on you and to explore those feelings (abandonment, etc.) and where those come from.
It would be good, I agree, if he seemed more "up on" all aspects of depression, the biological as well as the psychological.
Posted by Noa on January 3, 2003, at 14:36:00
In reply to Re: On the other hand. » Dinah, posted by Alii on January 3, 2003, at 11:05:39
PS--if you are uncertain, you know it is possible to get a consult from an independent therapist. This is something that is done when therapists and patients are at an impasse. (got this from a book, too. Forgot the name of it. If I remember, I'll post. Although maybe it is also in one of the other books mentioned in this thread).
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 15:38:41
In reply to Re: On the other hand., posted by Noa on January 3, 2003, at 14:36:00
I might do that. I have read that myself.
I did hold his feet to the fire today. I asked him why he wasn't more directive and why he never pushed, and his answer made sense. He said he views me as a competent adult and that it was my responsibility to decide what to talk about in session and how far I wanted to push. He said that if I wanted him to push me more I'd have to ask for him to do it (and thus take responsibility). And then he waited expectantly for me to ask him to do that. :)
I also pinned him down on how he conceived my problem and what diagnosis he would give me if he had the power to diagnose.
I feel better for getting answers to some of my concerns and I'll bring the others up as they come up.
Except the thing he forgot. I'm going to be stubborn on that one. (mutter mutter forget mutter suicide mutter.) If it wasn't important enough for him to remember there's no need for me to repeat it. (mutter mutter)
Or I'll work through the anger and tell him someday.
Posted by bookgurl99 on February 1, 2003, at 9:03:54
In reply to Questionnaire for rating your therapist..., posted by IsoM on December 31, 2002, at 22:49:01
Aaagh! What do I do?
My therapist was great when I started and has been there for me -- therapeutically -- through a major crisis. I changed my behavior for the better, and during my crisis found ways to reestablish normalcy in my life. I almost think -- from the questionaire -- that she doesn't know what to do with me now that there's no crisis at hand.
Now I just go because I still have OCD and figure that some 'supportive therapy' is useful. Does this make sense?
Posted by noa on February 2, 2003, at 13:59:33
In reply to Urp. My therapist rated poorly., posted by bookgurl99 on February 1, 2003, at 9:03:54
I have found that sometimes there are lulls in therapy. Some people take a break and then come back for "booster shots" with their therapists. But for me, I know that often when there is a lull, ie, no crisis, and I start to have a hard time finding things to talk about, it is not that there aren't issues to work on, it is just that I am really ambivalent about delving into them. My therapist is quite "gentle" with me, ie, doesn't push me, so it is usually up to me to decide to delve, although he usually will allude to issuesin a way that feels non-threatening and we both know that I know what he's talking about, but that he is not going to push it. I guess this is because it took a long time to just get to a place where I am coping better and not so depressed. Sometimes, I will raise the issue that I have stuff I want to work on but am afraid of opening up a pandora's box, and then we just discuss how to work with a pandora's box, and help me have a feeling of better control, rather than feeling at the box's whim to overwhelm me. We may not even open the box for a long time, just discuss the problem of feeling afraid to.
Posted by bookgurl99 on February 2, 2003, at 14:07:18
In reply to Re: Urp. My therapist rated poorly., posted by noa on February 2, 2003, at 13:59:33
Thanks for that. Yes, I have noticed that lately there are some things I _could_ work on. But I have been quite skating over them. I've discussed the old things and how they're okay now. I was genuinely in a crisis for a long time and am just starting to feel 'normal' now that it's been 4 months past crisis.
Hmm. Now that I think about it, 4 months past crisis is not very long. I think I can give myself credit for NOT pushing things.
Maybe now I'm ready to move on and either discuss the new issues -- sort of the issues that the crisis issues covered up but may have contributed to the crisis-- or decide I don't want to and leave therapy.
I think bringing up that there are things I'm afraid to bring up makes sense. But why am I afraid? It's not like I don't trust this therapist. I guess bringing that up, though, would get the core of my insecurity around the issue.
HEH. I feel funny talking about all this.
Posted by mair on February 4, 2003, at 16:58:56
In reply to Re: Urp. My therapist rated poorly., posted by bookgurl99 on February 2, 2003, at 14:07:18
Am I rejuvenating a thread that's passe?
My therapist rated rather poorly the first time I took the test and much better the second. I realized that some of the "yes" answers were to statements that are true some of the time, but not all or even most of the time. And when she does these supposedly verboten things she explains the clinical basis for them. She does insist that we talk about our relationship sometimes but only because she has trouble getting me to discuss any other relationship, so she needs to use it as an example. She's made it very clear that she'd go to great lengths to convince me not to quit therapy but only I think because she assumes I'd quit for all of the wrong reasons.
It's truly mind boggling to me how slow this process is for me. I've been seeing her for 3 or 4 years (I've lost count) and on a twice a week basis for almost 2 years and the numbers of things that are easy for me to discuss are far surpassed by the numbers of topics I resist/avoid. She's not anti-CBT, I was referred to her in the beginning for CBT and she still tries to incorporate some tools from time to time. It's just that she decided quite awhile ago that CBT was pretty ineffectual for me - she claims I just wouldn't "buy into it."When things are going well, I feel that I run out of things to say and have a hard time identifying therapeutic goals. It's almost easier for me, albeit less productive, when I'm in bad shape. When things are going well, I do sometimes think of quitting or taking a break because my heart just isn't in it. When things are not going as well I have a difficult time not being self-judgmental about my poor progress. I see myself as uncommitted to the hard work of therapy or I fear that she's going to get frustrated dealing with me. She and I have been over this alot, but it still crops up from time to time.
For a long time I've worried that I don't feel much of a connection to her, despite the great amount of time we spend together. I can pretty well convince myself that she would feel no loss if I drifted out of therapy and that I'd feel no regrets if she was the one to terminate. It's only been in the last couple of weeks that I've started noticing occasionally that I sometimes talk to her now about things that I'd otherwise hold back, and I'm not feeling this huge reservoir of regret afterwards that I opened up too much. Maybe after all this time I'm starting to trust her more, although I'd never have admitted that I didn't trust her before. After several more productive sessions I was back to my old tricks today - of filtering and censoring alot of what I might have said.
My therapist's take is that I'll really want to quit as I feel a greater connection to her (is this Dinah's dilemma?) and that I'll also want to quit if I start feeling better. I worry both about quitting too soon and squandering all of this therapy and quitting too late because I don't see that it's a waste of time. I can't always see a place where I want to go - sometimes I just think I keep doing this because I'm now in the habit. I've been in some kind of therapy off and on - mostly on - for about 8-9 years. You'd think I'd have more to show for it.
I'm pretty well convinced that she's a competent professional therapist and that I have a better chance of getting to a better "place" with her than I have with another therapist or on my own. I'm blessed with very good insurance benefits so my co-pay is pretty small given the total cost. There's always things wrong - I wish I found it easier to open up to her; I don't care for it when she reads back from her notes things I've said in a prior session. I've noticed that when I'm strugging and she tries to finish my sentence she does a poor job of it ususally - it makes me think that she really can't anticipate what I mean to say. But on balance I'm glad I'm in her hands and not that of any of my previous therapists.
Mair
Posted by Dinah on February 5, 2003, at 16:52:38
In reply to Re: Urp. My therapist rated poorly. (longish), posted by mair on February 4, 2003, at 16:58:56
She does sound like a good therapist.
I don't think intimacy fears are my problem. We've been through that territory I think, and settled into a high degree of trust and my dependence on him is acknowledged by both of us. Perhaps the next step is lessening the dependence, and that may be something I'd rather avoid.
I think from what you've said now and in the past that you do still have a lot to work on with your therapist before you feel totally comfortable with her. But on the other hand, perhaps therapy is just sometimes dull and unproductive?
Does anyone remember the Alan Alda movie, The Four Seasons? In it he describes marriage as a wave with peaks and troughs. Perhaps a long term therapeutic relationship is the same way. Of course you're paying for therapy.
Let's get to a peak already!
Posted by kyp on March 6, 2003, at 17:29:53
In reply to Re: Urp. My therapist rated poorly. (longish) » mair, posted by Dinah on February 5, 2003, at 16:52:38
Hi! Remember the movie, "Goodwill Hunting" ? I liked how it was presented in that Will took several sessions before he even would talk hardly. There had to be a moment of awakening between he and the therapist and it took a while. My son saw a therapist who would not wait for that and I think both suffered what could have been a special theraputic relationship because the therapist was inpatient. He ended up moving soon after that and he probably had a lot going on in his life and made a mistake in even taking my son in the first place, because I think he is a great therapist.
It took over a year before I was open enough to start sharing personal things even though I thought I was before that...long story, anyway, it does take time to develope trust and it is waves of peaks and troughs....saying all this, BUT YOU HAVE BEEN GOING FOR YEARS AND IT IS NOT WORKING FOR YOU IT SOUNDS LIKE. I'd say, examine what it is you are wanting in therapy and see if you are receiving it. It is OK to go less often for a while also, to just minimize contact while you ponder the situation (and perhaps interview some other prospects ?)
Best of thoughts to you as you consider this very important aspect of your mental health.
Posted by bookgurl99 on March 6, 2003, at 18:35:38
In reply to Re: Urp. My therapist rated poorly., posted by noa on February 2, 2003, at 13:59:33
> know that often when there is a lull, ie, no >crisis, and I start to have a hard time finding >things to talk about, it is not that there >aren't issues to work on, it is just that I am >really ambivalent about delving into them.
I just got to one of these places, where I finally confronted some things. I think I just wasn't ready for myself a few months there when I was just establishing order in my life after a bad time. But I'm glad that my therapist has reached out to help me move on. I'm working on procrastination and the stuff connected to it -- social anxiety, self-esteem, shame issues, so it's workin' out surprisingly well.
I'm pleased.
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