Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by PoolGuy on June 15, 2008, at 20:38:59
Hello,
I am really sorry but this post if going to be long.I am new to this forum and this is my first post. I have been checking this forum for some times now and just felt like posting.
I would like to know if there is anyone out there that feel like I do and had success with any kind of medication.
I feel like my mind is blank, most of the time. Not much thoughts enters my mind(of course they do enter my mind because I can talk, read and write) but it's like I am not aware of my thoughts anymore. It's like they have lost their substance, I just cannot seem to experience my thoughts in my head. My consciousness has shut down in some kind of way, I feel like I have lost my soul. It's like the intensity of everything that I do experience is dramatically reduced to almost nothing. I don't really feel human anymore. Although, you may see me or talk to me and I might look pretty normal sometimes.
I really don't know what to do about this. I cannot experience emotions and real pleasure in things or situation I should. But at least I know why I am like this. My main problem is social anxiety. Years ago, it led me to isolation, which led me to depression and anxiety for no reason. I then took zoloft but only for 3 days. It just terribly aggravated my anxiety and gave me insomnia that went away after that. This sent my into a terrific episode of total depersonalization/derealization with constant terror, my thoughts were running very fast in that time. It was the most terrific experience of my life. But with time, the anxiety/depersonalization started to fade away. But my thoughts also started to calm down, then they slowly dissapeared to send me in some kind of zombie state like I had taken antipsychotics. But I took nothing.
Now I have done some positive changes in my life in terms of social phobia, but there is still a lot to do! However, no matter what I do, or the time of the day, I cannot experience my thoughts or any sort of pleasure or emotion.
So when you talk to me about anhedonia, apathy, emotionnal numbness, low energy, I know all of this! However I am truly aware that all of this kinda blunt my feeling of anxiety/depression.
I would like to know if anyone out there can relate to these symptoms and is aware of any medication that could help with this.
I have done a lot of research and I think it has to do with dopamine maybe. But I am afraid of dopaminergic medication since I am prone to anxiety sometimes bordering paranoia(while I was in a total state of depersonalization.) Please note that I never had any kind of psychotic experience like hallucations and desilussions.Thank you for your time and sorry if this post was long, I had a lot of things to say about my experience and still does.
Best regards,
Maxime
Posted by Phillipa on June 16, 2008, at 12:28:03
In reply to Blank mind, ''Loss of soul'', anhedonia, posted by PoolGuy on June 15, 2008, at 20:38:59
Welcome to babble poolguy maybe post on the regular medication board too as not as much traffic here. On any meds now? Love Phillipa
Posted by PoolGuy on June 16, 2008, at 16:45:43
In reply to Re: Blank mind, ''Loss of soul'', anhedonia » PoolGuy, posted by Phillipa on June 16, 2008, at 12:28:03
Hello Philippa, thank you for your response, I just posted on the other forum. Thanks for your advice. I am currently on a adrafinal trial, it seems to help a bit with energy levels but not much more for now. I've taking this for 2 weeks now. I am really determined to do something to improve my condition.
Best regards,
Maxime
Posted by undopaminergic on July 2, 2008, at 7:56:22
In reply to Blank mind, ''Loss of soul'', anhedonia, posted by PoolGuy on June 15, 2008, at 20:38:59
It sounds like a syndrome of depersonalisation and derealisation (DPDR). I have that also, but your case seems more severe.
The drugs with the most powerful impact on DPDR for me have been memantine and phenylethylamine (PEA). The latter (PEA) must be taken during treatment with a MAO-B inhibitor such as selegiline.
Posted by Sigismund on July 2, 2008, at 20:54:16
In reply to Re: Blank mind, ''Loss of soul'', anhedonia, posted by undopaminergic on July 2, 2008, at 7:56:22
How much memantine did you take for your DPDR?
PEA/deprenyl sounds like it might have something of the early amphetamine effect that was very helpul to me for the short time it lasted.
I quite liked deprenyl+Hydergine and deprenyl+rhodiola, but insomnia was the limiting factor.
Posted by undopaminergic on July 3, 2008, at 5:22:01
In reply to Re: Blank mind, ''Loss of soul'', anhedonia » undopaminergic, posted by Sigismund on July 2, 2008, at 20:54:16
> How much memantine did you take for your DPDR?
>20-30 mg. Unfortunately, it appeared to lose that effect within a week or two, transforming into something less pleasant, and eventually something disagreeable enough to make me discontinue it temporarily. Others have had better luck, though, but not necessarily against DPDR.
> PEA/deprenyl sounds like it might have something of the early amphetamine effect that was very helpul to me for the short time it lasted.
>Yes, precisely. I speculate that PEA+deprenyl+memantine might hold some promise for more sustained effect, based on the observations made by others concerning prevention of amphetamine-tolerance by memantine.
Posted by Sigismund on July 6, 2008, at 18:31:44
In reply to Re: Blank mind, ''Loss of soul'', anhedonia, posted by undopaminergic on July 3, 2008, at 5:22:01
>Yes, precisely. I speculate that PEA+deprenyl+memantine might hold some promise for more sustained effect, based on the observations made by others concerning prevention of amphetamine-tolerance by memantine.
The problem for me with that would be insomnia.
Posted by christophrejmc on July 16, 2008, at 7:44:43
In reply to Re: Blank mind, ''Loss of soul'', anhedonia, posted by undopaminergic on July 3, 2008, at 5:22:01
How often were/are you taking PEA, and how much?
I've been using this combo off and on for about four years but I haven't been able to find a dose that's both effective and safe. I've combined a lot of proscribed sympathomimetics with MAOIs, but only PEA has caused severe hypertensive events.
> Yes, precisely. I speculate that PEA+deprenyl+memantine might hold some promise for more sustained effect, based on the observations made by others concerning prevention of amphetamine-tolerance by memantine.
>
Posted by undopaminergic on August 10, 2008, at 21:59:18
In reply to Re PEA/selegiline » undopaminergic, posted by christophrejmc on July 16, 2008, at 7:44:43
I used a solution of PEA and regulated the intake according to effect - perhaps a mouth full or two every 10-20 minutes. The precise consumption was never determined, but it also varied. In the beginning, there were distinct cardiovascular effects even of small amounts - the heart rate would drop from 75-70 bpm to under 60 due to the baroreflex triggered by the increase in pressure - probably up to 160 systolic and higher. Chronic consumption blunted the hypertensive effect to the point where blood pressure was normal while taking PEA and on the low side in its absence. (I wasn't taking memantine.)
It's interesting that you've found PEA more potent than the other sympathomimetics. It should be less potent from a cardiovascular point of view than at least tyramine. amphetamine and ephedrine, but more potent than methylphenidate amd cocaine.
> How often were/are you taking PEA, and how much?
>
> I've been using this combo off and on for about four years but I haven't been able to find a dose that's both effective and safe. I've combined a lot of proscribed sympathomimetics with MAOIs, but only PEA has caused severe hypertensive events.
>
> > Yes, precisely. I speculate that PEA+deprenyl+memantine might hold some promise for more sustained effect, based on the observations made by others concerning prevention of amphetamine-tolerance by memantine.
> >
>
Posted by peacefullwarrior on October 18, 2008, at 4:43:09
In reply to Blank mind, ''Loss of soul'', anhedonia, posted by PoolGuy on June 15, 2008, at 20:38:59
Wow. I have this exact experience.. and have been diagnosed with dp. Although I have extreme dissociation and depersonalization. In fact I can feel so little, and feel so blank, thoughtless, and soulless, I am finally at the point where I'm ready to kill myself. I just took valium for the first time. It's very vaguely making me feel relaxed.. the only pleasure i can feel. I am very curious now to try other things to see if they have an effect.. I would love it if you would email me, or if anyone that might have any suggestions or experiences with what might be helpful or at least make me feel good for a short time. I am in horrible suffering 24 hours a day every day.. and I feel so far gone at this point.. that life is barely worth living. This small pleasure i feel.. is worth living for.
If there is anything else that could help my mind.. or make me feel anything. I would try it in a heartbeat. I'm truly desperate.. any help or advice would be DEEPLY appreciated.thankyou.
Posted by spacedisco314 on January 13, 2009, at 22:36:48
In reply to Blank mind, ''Loss of soul'', anhedonia, posted by PoolGuy on June 15, 2008, at 20:38:59
Sounds like an imbalance of dopamine or maybe even oxytocin.
Emotional bluntness is a schizophrenic symptom, but you've said you've never had any delusions or paranoia, so that kind of rules that out.It sounds like you may have an oxytocin deficiency. Are all of these symptoms new or have they been with you all your life? If they have been with you all your life then in may be Apserger Syndrome, which is like a high functioning form of autism. My ex boyfriend has Apserger Syndrome and is highly intellegent, can hold down a job... everything is normal except for his general apathy, repetitive tics, poor social cognition, social anxiety and akwardness.
Here's more on the link between Asperger Syndrom and Oxytocin:
http://www.bestsyndication.com/?q=120406_adult-asperger-autism-improved-with-oxytocin-treatment.htm> So when you talk to me about anhedonia, apathy, emotionnal numbness, low energy, I know all of this! However I am truly aware that all of this kinda blunt my feeling of anxiety/depression.
>
> I would like to know if anyone out there can relate to these symptoms and is aware of any medication that could help with this.
>
> I have done a lot of research and I think it has to do with dopamine maybe. But I am afraid of dopaminergic medication since I am prone to anxiety sometimes bordering paranoia(while I was in a total state of depersonalization.) Please note that I never had any kind of psychotic experience like hallucations and desilussions.
This is the end of the thread.
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